His Absolute Betrayal - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#2) (A Contemporary Romance Novel)

by Cerys du Lys

  Good. I liked that. He was with me, but separate, too. I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want to be too close to him right now, either.

  A plastic grocery bag lay next to me in the seat. I poked through it, curious.

  "You got ice cream?" I asked. "This is a good one." It was just a generic brand, but nice: chocolate ice cream with peanut butter swirls, and caramel cups. I peeked through the bag more and found another one with mint ice cream and chopped up peppermint sticks. Both sounded nice, but I liked the chocolate one better. I sort of wished I had a spoon, as improper and rude as it'd be to start digging into a half gallon of ice cream in the back seat of a car.

  "Yeah," Jeremy said. "Jessika asked me to grab some. Asher called. Said you were in some kind of trouble? Everything alright?"

  He turned to Lucent with the last question. Lucent shifted uncomfortably in the seat before buckling himself in, but to his credit he didn't take control of the situation like I knew he wanted.

  "Lucent was being an ass," I said. "Do you know what he did?"

  Jeremy stepped on the gas and pulled away from the side of the street. "What?"

  "He brought me to his ex-girlfriend's apartment. For whatever reason, he thought that was a great idea. It wasn't, though. It's dumb, right? Why would someone think that's a good idea."

  Jeremy opened his mouth to say something, but Lucent interrupted.

  "She's not my ex-girlfriend," he said.

  "I didn't say you could talk," I said.

  "Mistress Tanner," he said, clearly frustrated now. "This is hardly the appropriate way to treat a deeply apologetic submissive."

  "Submissive?" Jeremy asked.

  I didn't know how I felt about that. I hadn't really thought much about it yet. "I don't know if you can be that to me, Lucent," I said. "I know what I said before, but I need time to think. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm sorry about that. Maybe you're right that I'm being a little mean, but you were mean to me, too. Two wrongs don't make a right, but unfortunately I'm finding it difficult to feel that way at the moment."

  The car quieted. Neither Lucent nor Jeremy said anything, and I didn't say more, either. Jeremy pulled to a stop at a stop sign, waiting for traffic.

  Lucent could leave, I thought. If he wanted to. I'd given him the choice before, but now he had it again. We were stopped and all he needed to do was unbuckle his seatbelt, open the door, and head into the night.

  He'd be fine. For all the annoyance and anger it caused me, Elle's apartment was probably safe. He could go there. With her. Maybe he'd be happy that way. Maybe she could give him something I couldn't; or, I knew she could, if he wanted that.

  I didn't want him to leave, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. I didn't know if I could ever forgive him, though. For leaving, if he chose to, or for lying, for not understanding, for...

  Traffic slowed enough, giving Jeremy an opportunity to drive away again. We continued onwards.

  ...

  We were in a building. Some apartment building somewhere in a quieter part of town. It didn't look like a bad place, but maybe a little on the worn side? Honestly, it reminded me of my apartment building, except the hallways looked a little nicer here. Just a little. My hallways weren't bad or anything, they were just...

  Except why were we in an apartment building to begin with? We were going to Jessika and Asher, right? I hadn't thought to question it at first. Jeremy parked the car in a small parking lot out back, then got out. He asked me to grab the ice cream, so I did. Lucent came with us, saying nothing.

  He tried. I felt bad for abandoning him when he tried to hold my hand. I thought he tried, at least. We walked side by side and his hand brushed against mine, the way he did sometimes before reaching for me. I liked holding Lucent's hand and walking close to him when we were out and about. We never held hands at Landseer Tower, but I sort of understood why. He didn't want to put forth the wrong impression, whatever that was.

  Usually I would have taken his hand in mine at the first hint of a touch, because I liked to, but this time I refrained. Pulling my hand away from his—perhaps a little too fast—I quickened my steps and walked closer to Jeremy. I was carrying things, anyways. I could carry everything with one hand, but...

  I still didn't know where we were going, but we were in the apartment building by now, walking down the halls, and before I thought to ask, we stopped at one of the doors.

  Jeremy knocked. I looked at him funny, but he didn't bother looking at me. After a few seconds, someone shuffled around inside. A second more passed, then the door opened.

  Asher stood there, smiling, greeting us.

  I blinked, confused. Yes, well... yes. Yes? Um...?

  He urged us to come in, so I did. Jeremy didn't. Lucent did.

  "Everything's all set, then?" Jeremy asked Asher.

  "Yes," Asher said, but I knew he wasn't sure if it was true. He looked from me to Lucent, then back to Jeremy. "I think everything's going to be fine. I'll call you in the morning. Thanks, Jeremy. Take care and have a good night. Let me know if anything happens."

  Jeremy nodded, then left the way we came. Asher closed the door behind him.

  "So..." Asher said. "Does anyone want to tell me what's going on?" He frowned at Lucent. "Why was Elise crying when she called Jessika? What happened between you two?"

  I didn't have anything to say about that right now, so I slipped aside and went into the kitchen. This wasn't actually much of a slip, seeing as I took all of four steps before moving from the front doorway to the kitchen offshoot.

  The apartment looked nice, though. I placed the grocery bag with the ice cream in it on top of a peninsula-style counter facing an open living room, then fetched out both containers. I had my purse in the bag, too, to make everything easier to carry, so I put that on the counter, as well. Before we left the car, I'd stuffed the black hard drive into my purse, but it looked a little clunky now. Hopefully no one noticed, or if they did I hoped they didn't care.

  Lucent wouldn't, at least. Or... he wouldn't have before? I didn't know how. I needed to know, and I wanted to know, but unfortunately I didn't.

  I stood there while Asher and Lucent talked. Staring at the ice cream containers and my purse, I realized I didn't know what to do again. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

  Jessika appeared. I didn't know where she came from, she just came. As if out of nowhere, she stood next to me, smiling. "There's spoons in that drawer right in front of you," she whispered to me, conspiratorial.

  I glanced further down, shifty-eyed, and sneaked the drawer open. My mischievous fingers slipped in and grabbed two spoons. Jessika took one when I offered it to her, and she snatched up the peppermint ice cream. I grabbed the chocolate ice cream. We left the two men to their business, whatever that was.

  I followed Jessika down a short hallway, then into a room. She closed the door behind us, then skipped over to a bed and jumped onto it. I went to the bed, too, but I wasn't in a skipping or jumping mood. I just walked, then sat, quiet. She opened her ice cream container and stuck the spoon in, scooping up a bite and eating it.

  I did the same for mine, and it tasted good, but...

  "Here," she said. Reaching behind me and towards the bedside table, she grabbed a cookie from a tray. "The ice cream is melted a bit. I bet it's good for dipping cookies in. Try it?"

  She offered me a chocolate chip cookie. I took it and dipped it into some of the melted ice cream, spreading it around this way and that, then ate a bite. It did taste good, but it was hard to enjoy it right now. It just didn't seem appropriate?

  "What's wrong?" she asked. "What happened with you two? I've never heard you like that before? Did Lucent do something?"

  I laughed. Where should I even start? How could I explain this?

  "I'm not sure Lucent is who I thought he was," I said.

  "What do you mean?" Jessika asked.

  Did she know? I wanted to start at the beginning, but...

  "Do you know about the,
um... the passageways? Tunnels, I guess? At your house?"

  She hesitated before answering. "The mansion?"

  I nodded. "Yes, there. Lucent said they go to a saferoom, I guess?"

  "Yes," she said. Just that, nothing else.

  "I didn't," I said. "I wasn't supposed to know, either. That's what Lucent said. When the fire alarms started going off, he ended up showing me some secret passageway in one of the bathrooms, and we went down there. He said there was a fire somewhere, but it shouldn't be there, so we went, and... there was someone there, Jessika. They were trying to steal something. Lucent got there first and he was fighting with them. Neither of us saw much, because he wore dark clothes and a hood sort of thing."

  Jessika just smiled and nodded, listening to me.

  "I wanted to help, but I don't know why. I just got in the way. We stopped him, I guess, but it was more like Lucent stopping him. I think he could have detained him if it wasn't for me, though. Maybe it doesn't matter. Everything went from bad to worse after that. We hid in the library overnight. I guess we broke in. I knew the code to turn off the alarms and unlock the doors, but that doesn't mean it was right. And then... Lucent told me some things, and I don't know what to think."

  "About the saferoom?" Jessika guessed.

  "Kind of. Maybe you know. Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't know. The person who set your house on fire was trying to steal a hard drive. Lucent says that it's got information about him on it. Bad information, about a bunch of illegal things he's done. He made it sound like nothing too terrible, but then the next day he tells me he's uh... involved in—"

  I stared at the bed covers, frowning. Did I want to do this? I wasn't sure, and if I said it I didn't know if I could go back after. I could never be regular again, but if I didn't tell anyone then maybe I could pretend to be fine. I could pretend nothing was wrong and everything was normal and it'd all be alright in the future. I could try that, but I doubted it'd work.

  I scooted up the bed. The bed wasn't made up nicely, and it was kind of messy, but I found it difficult to care at the moment. I rested my back against one of the pillows, then leaned against the headboard. Ice cream in one hand, spoon and cookie in the other, I stared at the ceiling.

  "Lucent's done a lot of illegal things, I guess," I said. "Maybe you know already, and I'm the only one who doesn't. I wish someone had told me. It seemed bad at first, but maybe not too bad? Maybe it was fine. Maybe I... I could deal with it. And I tried, too. I thought we could work it out, except there was more. And then he said we could go somewhere safe and hide, except there was more again. I knew, Jessika. I mean, of course I knew, because how could I expect him not to have dated before me? I dated, too, but... maybe dating isn't the right word. We went somewhere, to one of his ex's apartments, and when we got there she... she just bent down on hands and knees and started worshiping him, almost. She called him Master Storme."

  "I don't know why he brought me there," I continued. "I was so confused about everything else, then even more confused about that, and then I got angry. He didn't come to me, though. He didn't try to apologize, and the worst part is I don't know if he would have, either. If I didn't act mad, what would have happened? She's better at it than me. His ex, or whatever she is. Maybe not a girlfriend, but still. I can't be like that. I don't even know how. She had uh... Lucent likes his BDSM things, you know? Of course you know, because uh... I don't know. I know you know, but it's hard to talk about for me sometimes."

  I stopped talking, then. I plopped my cookie onto the top of the ice cream, letting it sit there, then I stuffed the spoon next to it, too. I didn't want to eat right now. My stomach grumbled slightly, angry at me for denying it food, but I just couldn't.

  "Maybe Lucent's confused, too?" Jessika said. "I knew a little about what you said. I know that he's helped Asher with things privately. I don't know the full extent of it, but I don't think Lucent is a bad person, Elise. I know everything is hard right now, trust me. It's hard for me, too. I don't know if you heard, but apparently there's a sex tape of me and Asher all over the internet. It was in the tabloids today, too. So..."

  "What?" I asked. "Really?"

  Jessika shrugged. "Asher said the police are looking for you both, so it's kind of different, but I understand in a way. I'm confused, too. There was that vandalism in my office yesterday, then the fire, and when I woke up this morning I found out about the sex tape, and... what if there's more? What's going to happen next? That's what I keep asking myself."

  I nodded and listened this time. I liked this, just us, talking. Worrying with each other, maybe anxious and nervous. It was difficult not to worry, but talking about it and knowing that someone else was with me like this made me less nervous.

  "Asher always acts so confident," Jessika said, her voice strangled, swallowing hard. "He acts like none of this could ever bother him. It might not bother him, too. How, though? I was so scared last night. I thought you and Lucent were trapped in the fire and I thought you were dead. They had to give me sedatives and bring me to the hospital to calm me down, except in the morning everything got worse again. I think the only thing that kept me going was Asher and the fact that you and Lucent were fine. I thought you were, at least, but then you called, and it hurt all over again. I don't know what to do, Elise."

  I shook my head, no. I wasn't sure what I needed to disagree with, but I did it. Jessika shouldn't hurt. She shouldn't worry. We both had our fair share of problems, but it upset me to know that my problems were causing her such anguish. It hurt to know that she'd been scared thinking we were dead, but it made me feel happy, too. It made me feel less alone than before.

  "I'm... I'm not trying to make excuses," she said. "I don't want to make excuses for Lucent, because if he did something wrong, that's unacceptable. He's always so excited about you, though. I mean, it's Lucent, so his excitement is a little hard to see sometimes, but when he's looking at you, there's always something special in his eyes, like a little sliver of awe on the outside showing the way he feels about you on the inside. You're important to him, Elise. Asher acts confident all the time, and indifferent about the media hounding him, but I think sometimes it bothers him, too. He just doesn't show it. I think Lucent might be like that, also. Maybe you two can make up? I'm not saying you need to, but if he apologizes? And... you know? Maybe?"

  I glanced towards the door to the bedroom. It was just us. I wanted to hide the truth, but I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, too.

  "I want to," I said. "I really do, Jessika. I want everything to go back to how it was, except I don't know if it ever can. I don't know if I'm enough for Lucent. I don't know if I'm holding him back or he's acting a different way to make me happy, and he's restraining his real self. Sometimes Lucent is scary. I've never been scared of him before, and I don't think I am now, but I wonder if I should be, you know? Maybe I'm being too naive? Maybe my expectations are... wrong? I don't want to believe it, but it's hard not to."

  "Everyone has doubts," Jessika said. "If we didn't, we wouldn't be normal. Just... just be open, alright? I know how Lucent is sometimes, but you know him even better than that. You said you don't know if he's holding back and hiding his real self, right? I think he's shown you more of his real self than he's probably ever shown anyone before. It's scary to open up to people sometimes. It's really scary when we love the person, because I think we all worry about losing that."

  "Do you really think so?" I asked. I hadn't thought about that before. In all honesty, I wasn't sure if I hid much of anything from Lucent or anyone else I was friends with. True, I didn't open up right away to everyone, but once I did, I went into it fully and completely.

  I trusted, but sometimes I knew I trusted too easily.

  I knew Lucent had a hard time trusting people, though. Not everyone, and he wouldn't openly say as much, but he preferred to do things on his own a lot of times. He drove himself, in his own car, because he trusted his driving capabilities. He wasn't exactly distrustful, but he
trusted himself more than others, which led him to a potentially anti-social attitude.

  He trusted me, though. If I asked to drive, I knew he would let me. Granted, I never asked, because I liked him driving and he took it very seriously, but I could have asked. He even...

  He called me Mistress Tanner. I'd thought it frivolous and a jab at the time, attacking him in a passive aggressive way, but maybe it was more than that. One of the things Lucent always told me was that the dominant needed the submissive's absolute trust, because she willingly gave him control, believing in his abilities.

  I thought he was just playing along at first to appease me, but maybe there was more to it than that? Was he offering me something? Was he telling me that he trusted me completely? And if so, was I worthy of that?

  Maybe Lucent was confused. I thought he might be more confused than he let on. He said he wasn't sure what to do, but maybe he really wasn't sure. Maybe he was as lost and alone as me, but neither of us wanted to show weakness to the other, because...

  I didn't, because he always seemed so strong and powerful to me. Lucent always knew what to do, he always had a plan of action. I felt comfortable with him because of that, and I thought I could lean on him more because of it. Our relationship never seemed equal; it seemed heavily weighted in his favor. The power dynamics were skewed, and a part of me didn't think I added anything to the equation.

  Except what if he didn't want to show weakness for the exact same reasons. If he didn't want to let me down, and he didn't want to disappoint me, so he stretched himself to the utmost of his abilities, and...

  Snap. Crash. Everything came tumbling down.

  I suddenly felt hungry again. I scooped up the cookie smothered in ice cream with my spoon and nibbled at the soggy edges. It tasted good. I nipped one of the chocolate caramel cups with my teeth and bit down on it, then swallowed.