Supper always consisted of ham and scalloped potatoes, followed by steamed chocolate pudding for dessert. An extra card table or two had to be set up because they wouldn’t all fit around the formal dining table. Cousins didn’t graduate to the “big table” until they were at least in college and a space opened; or, if they were lucky, an aunt or uncle had a conflict and couldn’t make it. On sadder occasions, a spot opened because a loved one was no longer with them.
Impatient kids didn’t linger over dessert, encouraging adults to gulp down coffee and clear tables because gift opening was next. They always started out opening one at a time, but with so many people, order would dissolve into chaos. Keeping everyone’s pile separate proved challenging and, inevitably, someone’s instructions for toys with assembly required would be lost. Each family was assigned a bedroom at Aunt Celia’s house. Opened gifts were stored back in the rooms for safekeeping; favorite new toys stayed out and were played with until it was time to get ready for Midnight Mass.
Once kids entered the third grade, they were expected to attend Mass. Younger cousins stayed home with two uncles who volunteered to stay with them. Everyone else piled into cars and headed to the old church. The women made sure everyone got there a half hour early so they could all sit together (and the men always grumbled about leaving home too early). They would grab two long pews, one in front of the other, and settle in, enjoying hymns and watching for old friends before the ceremony began. The air would be thick with incense, and a child or two would inevitably fall asleep. Afterward, the drive back to Celia’s house was always subdued. Younger cousins would pretend to fall asleep and older cousins would carry them into the house.
Christmas morning started early, despite the late night. Santa always left presents for the kids, plus stockings for everyone, but no one could come out alone on Christmas morning. Cousins waited impatiently until everyone assembled in the upstairs hallway, and a stampede of slippered feet pounded down the stairs. The air filled with exclamations of excited kids, the robust smell of coffee, and, one year, even the yips of a terrified little puppy Santa left under the tree for Renee’s brother. Breakfast consisted of caramel rolls and a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Everyone knew to fill up—there wouldn’t be another meal until late afternoon, when turkey and all the fixings topped off the celebration.
Renee’s reminiscing was cut off by a slamming car door. Molly heard it too and set off barking and pawing at the front door.
Julie was home.
“Robbie,” Renee hollered up the stairs, “your sister is home! Come down!”
“Be right there, Mom,” he hollered back.
Renee set her wine glass down and hurried out onto the front porch. Arms extended, she caught Julie in a huge hug at the top of the stairs, fighting back tears. Julie hugged her back, hard, laughing the whole time.
“Mom, you’re squishing me,” Julie yelped, and she giggled, pulling back at last.
Her friend Zoey was struggling to pull suitcases out of the trunk. Robbie jumped down the stairs to give her a hand. He thought of Zoey as a second big sister, and so he immediately started teasing her about weak arms. Zoey gave him a hip bump and told him to shut up, laughing the whole time. Between the two of them, they lugged a huge suitcase, a smaller one, and what looked like either a body bag or an enormous hamper of dirty clothes up the wooden front steps and plopped them at Renee’s and Julie’s feet. Renee extricated herself from Julie’s arms so she could hug Zoey.
Herding them all through the front door, Renee felt the weight of worry lift off her shoulders. The girls were home safely and wouldn’t have to go back to college for a month. Molly was crazy with excitement, jumping all over them both. Julie threw her coat over the back of a recliner.
“Would you like to join us for dinner, Zoey?” Renee invited. “We have plenty.”
“Thanks, but Mom and Dad are waiting for me to get home. We’re meeting friends for dinner. Besides, you guys have lots of catching up to do. Merry Christmas!” Zoey waved as she headed back out the front door.
Renee thought she noticed a look pass between Julie and Zoey—but maybe it was her imagination. Or the wine.
“Julie, why don’t you take your stuff up to your room? Robbie, I need you to get the table set. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”
“Thanks, Mom, you have no idea how good a home-cooked meal sounds,” Julie said as she started hauling all her stuff upstairs. “I’ll be back down in a minute to help.”
Renee smiled. A home-cooked meal with both her kids was exactly what she needed, too.
Chapter 4
Gift of Space
Julie bumped open her bedroom door with her suitcase and wheeled her larger one behind her.
“Thank God,” she whispered and sunk onto her bed.
These past two weeks were awful. She was teetering between an A and a B in two of her core classes, thus spending what felt like hundreds of hours preparing for finals. Had it been enough? She wouldn’t know until grades posted online a couple days from now. She had worked hard to lose herself in her studies ever since Thanksgiving, too . . . but it wasn’t only because she wanted to pull up her grades.
Julie was worried about Lincoln. She met him at the homecoming football game. He was super cute and seemed nice, but now he made her feel . . . claustrophobic. He called and texted too many times every day, always wanting to study or hang out with her or know what she was doing. He wanted to take her home for Thanksgiving, but she’d already agreed to spend her first holiday away from home with her roommate and two other girls. Lincoln was upset when she turned him down. First he said he wouldn’t take no for an answer, but she ignored his tirade and went with her friends anyway. He seemed to move past it, but he still wanted to be by her side any chance he got. Julie had been glad to climb into Zoey’s car and head back to Minneapolis. She needed a break; she hoped he wouldn’t contact her continuously during vacation. She and Zoey talked about it for most of the ride home. Zoey wanted her to end it, didn’t feel Lincoln was a good fit for her. Julie was starting to agree.
She only wished she hadn’t gone so far with him. During those first couple of weeks they were getting to know each other, she thought he was amazing. She didn’t sleep with him, thank God, but she went further with him than anyone else before and was already regretting it. How could she have been so stupid?
“Well, I’m going to have to tell Lincoln we are done and cut myself some slack on this one,” Julie muttered to herself.
She hadn’t mentioned Lincoln to her mom. She wasn’t sure yet if she would, if she could. Mom might get a little freaked if she thought Julie already paired off with someone, might even launch into the whole “safe sex” talk again.
“No,” she muttered, “definitely not saying anything yet.”
Chapter 5
Gift of Time
Renee wrestled with her own thoughts as she and the kids gathered around the dining room table, all the while keeping a grin plastered to her face. She hated knowing she would ruin their festivities tonight; this was supposed to be a time for celebration. If only her one struggle this Christmas were finding that elusive balance between treating her kids like the young adults they were becoming and still creating some Christmas magic.
The voice of their local news anchor cut through her thoughts, coming from the kitchen: “Stay tuned for recent employment developments at a large business in town, after these messages.”
Renee popped out of her chair and hurried into the adjoining room to snap off the TV. She would only be kidding herself if she thought she could hold off telling them. If they didn’t hear it from her, they would hear it somewhere else, or see it on social media, and be hurt. Tonight was a time to treat them like adults.
Renee let the kids catch up but wasn’t able to concentrate on their conversation herself as they filled their plates and dug in. With no good way to start, she cleared her throat and told them she had news. Her tone shut off the easy flow of conversation. Bo
th kids stopped eating and turned wary eyes her way. Neither liked her opening comment and knew her well enough to be worried about what she was going to say.
“Don’t worry, no one died, and no one is sick. But I did get some tough news today, and it affects all of us,” Renee said, looking from daughter to son and back. She took a deep breath.
“I got laid off today.”
She said the words quickly, feeling an ache settle in her stomach and behind her eyes.
No one said anything at first. Then Robbie—her precious boy who despised conflict—quickly tried to reassure her.
“Oh, Mom, it’s OK. You’ll find another job, no problem. You’ll probably find something before New Year’s. Don’t sweat it.” He offered his mom a hopeful smile.
Julie said nothing right away. She eyed her mom carefully, her face flushing. When she finally spoke, it came out in a rush. “Are you frigging kidding me, Mom? Are they insane? Who does that two weeks before Christmas? You’ve worked there for what, like twenty years, and this is how they treat you?” Julie spluttered. “How did they tell you? Please say they told you in person.”
Renee welcomed Julie’s frustration. It helped to share the burden; despite Renee’s not wanting to dump this on the kids, it was a relief to find that Julie’s initial thoughts matched her own.
“Actually, no. They pulled us all on to a teleconference this morning and gave us the news. But I was glad I wasn’t told in person. My boss has always been a prick, and it was a relief not to have to face him. This way I never have to see him again,” Renee said, and she meant it. It felt good to know she wouldn’t have to interact with that man ever again.
“Do you have to go back at all, or are you done?” Julie asked. She was processing what this might mean to the family quicker than Robbie appeared to be.
“I don’t have to go back,” Renee explained. “I still need to read through the severance package to get all the details, but as long as I follow the requirements, I’ll get paid for a while yet. I could try to find another position within the company, but my package would stop paying. If I either don’t want to try for a new position or fail to get one, my package should pay me for almost a year.”
Julie digested this, then started throwing out more questions. “So, you mean, if you get a new job with them, they stop paying you your severance, but if you don’t, you’ll get paid for a year for not working? That is crazy!”
“Yes, it doesn’t make much sense,” Renee agreed, laughing a little. She hadn’t thought about it from that angle. She could get paid for a year for not going to work, or she could find another job with them and be back on the regular payroll. Kind of made a person think they didn’t want you back. At this point, she had zero interest in ever going back anyhow, but she knew that might change if she didn’t find something else. Right now her wounded pride felt too raw to be more realistic about it. She couldn’t make any rash decisions.
Renee struggled to share her feelings with Julie and Robbie. They always worked to be open with each other; they were a team of three—a strong family unit—and Renee knew she would draw on their strength in the days and months to come.
“I lost my job today, but we are not going to be destitute, OK? We have some equity in this house, I have money in my 401K, I have decent college funds set up for both of you, and I have some money in savings.”
Robbie’s eyes were glazing over, and she knew he wasn’t following most of this. Today served as a wake-up call for her, and she wanted the kids to learn from this, too. She needed to stop operating on auto-pilot. This morning, she woke up as a long-term employee at one of America’s largest companies; she thought she was valued. But she arrived back home unemployed, feeling like a knife was stuck in her back. She didn’t know how, but she was going to figure out a way to protect her back from now on. And her kids’.
“All right, enough doom-and-gloom talk,” she said. “I suddenly find myself with at least the rest of December off. Julie, you are home and have no homework since you are between semesters. Robbie, normally you would still have class for the next week, but that water main break in the school cafeteria last month means you get an extra week this year while they make some major repairs. You are free now until early January, too. Brainstorm with me. Help me come up with some crazy, fun things we can do. I was stressing about only having a few days off with you two, but now everything has changed. What do you guys want to do?”
Suddenly she saw the next few weeks as an unexpected gift, to be spent with her children. She had never taken more than one week off at a time before today. She vowed to make the most of this time.
Julie started throwing out suggestions, each one crazier than the next. “What if we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s for a week at Christmas to see everybody? Or what if we call all of them to see if we could all go on a sky trip together? Maybe we could even fly to Colorado!”
Robbie darted nervous glances between his mom and sister. It was starting to dawn on him his holiday break wasn’t going to consist of sleeping late, lounging around all day, and hanging with his buddies. He wasn’t feeling too excited at this prospect of a whole lot of togetherness in the coming weeks.
Renee did point out they would have to be a little sensible with their plans, as far as costs went. “We can spend some money, and if we decide to take a trip, that would have to be part of your Christmas gifts. Be careful so we don’t eat into your college funds for a few whirlwind weeks!”
Robbie finally got caught up in the excitement, too, and both kids wheeled off more ideas. Renee let them dream and finished her cold dinner. She got up and cleared the table, watching their animated exchanges with a small smile. She may be unemployed, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from giving her family a Christmas to remember.
She rummaged around in the junk drawer, pulled out two legal pads and pens, and tossed them onto the table in front of the kids, raising her hands to quiet them down.
“Today is December fifteenth. There are ten days until Christmas, another week until New Year’s, and one final week before you both go back to school. Why don’t we all take some time tonight to think about what we want to do for the holidays? Make a list of your top five ideas. Do some research. If you think a trip would be fun, check out travel websites and maybe get some cost estimates. If we are going to travel far, we will need to make arrangements right away, including for Molly. Tomorrow we’ll go to lunch. Bring your ideas. We’ll talk through all of them and make our plans. I promise we will do at least one activity from each of your lists.” She beamed at them, and they sat breathlessly watching her. “Now go! I will finish cleaning up the kitchen. You guys have work to do.”
Never having to be told twice to let someone else clean the kitchen, both grabbed their legal pads and ran up to their rooms. Doors slammed, and Renee was left with Molly to keep her company. She finished clearing the dishes and wiping down counters. Music drifted down from above, but she was in the mood for holiday carols, so she masked their music with “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.”
She refilled her wine glass. Back to the living room and her decorations she went, determined to come up with an amazing plan for her family for the next few weeks.
Chapter 6
Gift of Focus
Before turning in, she spent a few hours thinking through and researching different possible activities for the holidays. She liked some of her ideas, but she was more interested in what the kids dreamed up. The task kept her mind busy, kept her from dwelling on more serious matters, but those matters were harder to ignore in the quiet of her own bedroom. Despite wine and exhaustion, Renee struggled to fall asleep. It would have been nice to have a man to share her bed, to keep her mind off her worries and tell her it was all going to be all right.
This surprised Renee. She rarely gave her love life much thought. Or maybe the sheer lack of a love life didn’t give her much to think about. But she could have used both a distraction and comfort.
Her mind
jumped between feeling sorry for herself because she didn’t have a “significant other” to feeling sorry for herself because now she didn’t have a job. By 1:00 a.m. she was thoroughly sick of her own personal pity-party and got up and took a Tylenol PM. She finally dozed off, but still felt drugged when her alarm went off at 6:00 a.m.
“What . . . the hell?” Renee moaned.
She’d set her alarm out of sheer habit—there was no reason to get up early when the kids would sleep for a few hours yet. She punched her pillow and tried to go back to sleep but gave up after half an hour. Molly would be ready to go out now, anyway, so she stepped into her slippers and headed downstairs. Her nighttime attire always consisted of sweatpants and an old T-shirt, so she threw on a hoodie too, to combat the chill downstairs.
Robbie didn’t drink coffee—“yet,” Renee always amended jokingly—so she seldom brewed a pot at home during the week, and instead filled her cup at the office. Today was different—of course it was, her whole life was different now—so she put the pot on. Maybe Julie picked up the habit during her first semester at college; she might help her drink it. Otherwise, Renee would drink the whole pot by late morning and be jittery for lunch.
Renee let Molly out, who was waiting patiently by the door, and followed behind her to grab the newspaper from the top step. A headline snagged her attention, spread in bold print above the fold.
Hundreds get pink slips from Santa
“Lovely,” Renee sighed. Let’s bring the big guy into this whole fiasco.
Slapping the paper down on the kitchen island, she poured herself her first cup of coffee. Only half the water was through the grounds so far, promising a powerful first cup.
Whispering Pines (Celia's Gifts Book 1) Page 3