Stowaway in Time

by Cathy Peper

  Things might have gone differently if the older men had settled on Jack as Amy’s prospective husband. If Jack had signed with the South, Jesse would have signed with the North. Leaving him on the winning side. But then he might never have met Diamond.

  Jesse turned to face Amy, putting a stop to their aimless wandering. “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, Amy, but I made you no promises. You are free to reconsider any previous offers and all future ones. I urge you to follow your heart.”

  “My heart leads me back to you, Jesse. It’s always been you.”

  Jesse began to sweat. He’d guessed she had feelings for him, but considered them only a girlish infatuation. “I’m sorry, but you mustn’t say such things. I’m now a married man.”

  Her hands clenched into fists and he half expected her to strike him. Almost hoped she would.

  Instead, she gave him a sickly sweet smile. “You’re too honorable for your own good, Jesse Weber. Perhaps fate will smile upon us and give us a second chance.”

  “Amy—”

  “I will pray for your safety.” She flung her arms around him, leaned in on tiptoe and kissed him on the mouth. The scent of roses filled his nostrils and she tasted of sweet tea.

  Stunned, Jesse pressed down on her shoulders, easing her away. Before he could speak, she tore herself from his grasp and ran from the garden.

  Jesse stood there for a moment until the creeping sensation on the back of his neck told him someone watched him. He turned, already knowing who he would see. Diamond stood at the back door, color in her cheeks and her face as hard as stone.

  “Looks like I just missed Amy,” she said. “What a shame. I was looking forward to meeting her.”

  Seventeen

  Chapter 17

  The sight of Jesse embracing another woman drove the air from Diamond’s lungs as if someone had punched her in the stomach. She told herself it didn’t matter. They had a marriage of convenience, one which didn’t involve love and other messy emotions. But it was humiliating for Jesse to care for her so little he would embrace the woman he had almost married in plain view.

  “Diamond, it isn’t what you think,” he said, strutting towards her.

  “Well, I think you were hugging your ex-girlfriend in the backyard. Are you going to deny what I saw with my own two eyes?”

  “You saw Amy giving me a farewell kiss. I never touched her.”

  “You were holding her!”

  “I was pushing her away.”

  “Amy must be much stronger than she looks if she can overpower you and force you to submit to her kisses.”

  “Keep your voice down,” Jesse snapped.

  “I’m the injured party here and I’ll talk as loud as I want.”

  “Are you the injured party? Consider Amy’s point of view. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but she apparently put more stock in our fathers’ agreement than I did.”

  “Poor little Amy.”

  Jesse sighed. “I don’t want to fight, but if we must, let’s take it indoors so the whole neighborhood doesn’t hear us.”

  “Whatever.” Diamond retreated through the French doors, resisting the urge to slam them in Jesse’s face. Why was she so angry? Did she expect Jesse to be faithful to her? It was the nineteenth century. Men here probably didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I owed her an explanation.”

  “An explanation is one thing, a kiss, another.”

  “Once again, I did not kiss her. She kissed me.”

  She heard the edge of impatience in his voice and her heart ached. “I’m not sure why we’re arguing. It’s not like our marriage is anything other than a business relationship.”

  Jesse grabbed her arm. Diamond shook it off but paused long enough to listen. “The proposed match with Amy was dynasty building. Nothing more than a desire to unite two families. I consider our marriage to be a partnership.”

  Diamond hesitated, torn between holding on to her pain and accepting his compliment. The flattery pulled her in. Even in the twenty-first century, she had to fight for men to see her as an equal. “A partnership? What do I bring to our union other than the dowry?”

  Jesse lowered his voice. “Knowledge of the future along with steadfast courage and determination. There’s no question I got the better end of the deal.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Diamond scoffed, but his words seduced her. Her knowledge of the future was a valuable asset, one which could pay off someday. But for now, she had only her dowry. “I didn’t realize it when we wed, but your family is important. You own a prosperous estate, your father is a senator, and obviously Amy considers you quite a catch.”

  “My father is a senator in exile and we both know he’s never returning to power. As known Southern sympathizers, there’s no guarantee we will hold on to our property, but hopefully Jack’s Union status will help.”

  She wished she knew what happened to his family home. It was even possible the mere act of her traveling to the past would change that outcome, though it didn’t seem likely. “Most of the guys I’ve known see my determination—my stubbornness—as a drawback.”

  “Men like my father feel they need to control everything and everyone. I’m not like that.”

  “I don’t know if I can stay here.” Living under Ian’s thumb would suffocate her. “Your father is antagonistic and I feel like a burden.” And she would have to deal with Amy.

  “Yes, you can. Stubborn as hell, remember?”

  He believed in her. He saw the grit that turned others away, but he didn’t flinch. “Stubborn enough to follow the drum.” But was she really? It was bad enough staying home, waiting for that knock on the door or that telegram. Could she really face all the dangers of a soldier’s life except for actual combat?

  “I can’t take you with me. It’s too dangerous and too miserable.”

  “Do you really have to go back? Your commanders probably think you’re dead.”

  “I have to fulfill my obligation. I signed up for eighteen months, but I won’t reenlist.”

  Would he keep that promise if his father insisted he continue to serve? He might not even have the option once the Confederacy instated the draft. She hadn’t told him both the North and the South relied on conscription as the war dragged on and volunteers dried up. She wouldn’t say anything now. Let him think he would come home in a year.

  Before she could say anything, the front door opened and Ian called for Betty to take his coat and hat. As the servant took his outerwear, he glimpsed Jesse and Diamond standing in the hall. “Good news. I’ve got your orders. After the fall of Island #10, the Yankees captured most of your unit. However, after the evacuation of New Madrid, some went south. You’re to meet up with them in Tennessee.”

  Diamond wished she remembered more Civil War history. Tennessee sounded better to her than being sent to fight in the east, but soldiers died even in small battles and more men died of disease than battle wounds.

  “When do I head out?”

  “Tomorrow. No sense wasting time. Don’t worry about your wife. She will be safe here.” With a gruff nod, he clumped up the stairs to his room.

  “I had hoped for longer. I wanted to get you settled and show you the town. But if I’m leaving tomorrow, I must refresh my supplies.”

  “I’ll come with you. Kill two birds with one stone.”

  “Always efficient.” Jesse offered his arm.

  Diamond took it. This close to him she caught his scent, a combination of sweat and sandalwood, and her knees grew weak. She was still angry about the kiss, but Jesse was going off to war. She might never see him again. She didn’t want them to part in anger. She put on her game face, the one she used on TV even when the network had sent her on a stupid story. Her acting chops were equal to those of the anchors and she could dig as deep as any of her fellow reporters. She had a feeling she would need her skills in the coming months.

  * * *

  Diamond, along with Ian
and Janet, saw Jesse off at the train station early the next morning. The train puffed on the tracks as if eager to depart. As Diamond gave him a hug and a dutiful peck on the cheek, she wished she could keep him from leaving. Janet hugged him as well and his father clapped him on the back.

  “Write to me,” Jesse said before boarding. “I want to know how you’re getting on.”

  “You do the same.” She wondered when she had last written or received an actual letter. It would be so much easier if they could text or email. Letters took a long time to arrive and sometimes got lost. At least, without TV, she wouldn’t have to watch coverage of every battle. As a reporter, she had always felt she was helping people by showing them what was happening. Now she wasn’t so sure.

  “Don’t worry,” Janet said.

  “It’s impossible not to worry.” Diamond took a deep breath and moderated her tone. “But I’ll try not to since it doesn’t help.”

  “I never thought Jesse would be the first to marry. It’s strange to think of my little brother as a married man.”

  “Jesse told me you were seeing someone.”

  “I wish we would have married before he left to join the Union Army, but Finn wanted to wait.”

  “He’s a damned Northerner and wanted a cash dowry when all I could offer was your share of the yearly proceeds,” Ian said. “I’ll find you a good Southern boy who understands the value of a tangible investment.” They reached the house and Ian let them inside. “However, since you abandoned Hickory Grove who knows what the Yankees are doing to it. Maybe Finn wasn’t such a fool.”

  “I didn’t abandon Hickory Grove. The Yankees took it for their headquarters. I had nowhere else to go but here.”

  “Well, if I’m to be saddled with the two of you, I expect you to do more than look decorative. Amy and her mother run a group sewing and knitting for the cause. Besides running the house and helping me entertain, I want you to join them.”

  Diamond’s heart sank. She’d known she couldn’t avoid Amy but dreaded being thrown constantly in her company. And she didn’t think she would excel at entertaining either. She excused herself and retreated to her bedroom.

  Jesse was a generous lover and she couldn’t deny her attraction to him. An attraction that appeared mutual. Relieved they had patched up their quarrel over Amy’s kiss, she had sent him off without anger. But not without hurt.

  She rolled over on her back and stared at the fussy, flowered wallpaper that made the room seem even more cramped than it already was. It hurt that he would accept Amy’s embrace even if he hadn’t sought it. Diamond faced the unwelcome truth. She had fallen in love with her husband, the man who had married her for money.

  Not that she was free of monetary motivations. She had wanted the dowry every bit as much as he. She had grabbed for security with both hands, needing to feel some measure of safety in a world she didn’t fully understand, a world where her gender gave her a disadvantage. Discovering she could not return home, even after everything she had done to survive and then track down the Pooles, had cast her adrift. If she wasn’t a reporter going after the next big story, then who was she?

  She had allowed Jesse and Ari to persuade her that marriage was her best option. She had not wanted to eke out a subsistence existence as a shopgirl. Marriage—and the dowry which came with it—would provide a roof over her head, food to eat, and increased status. Being with Jesse, a kind and wildly attractive young man, had seemed a bonus.

  She hadn’t intended to fall in love. Had not realized the risk. Despite her two failed serious relationships, she now knew she had never really been in love. Had she really loved her college sweetheart, she would have changed schools with him or tried harder to make their long-distance romance work. Instead, she’d been content to let it go.

  Things grew murkier with Brett. They moved in together and talked about marriage. She enjoyed his company and learned a lot from him. They’d gone on stake-outs together and she had made contacts in the police force. She became the primary reporter at her station for the crime circuit. But when Brett accused her of using him to further her career, their relationship soured. When he turned his temper upon her, it had been the last straw.

  Had there been a kernel of truth in his words? His job had been part of her initial attraction to him and she enjoyed the perks of being a policeman’s girlfriend. Still, his accusation was unfair. She has used her contacts but had never snooped for sensitive information. She respected his position as she assumed he respected hers.

  She had worried about him working the streets but had never felt the yawning ache of helplessness and fear which now consumed her. Thousands would die in this conflict. She might never see Jesse again, might never hold him in her arms. And even if he came back to her, he might never return her feelings. While reaching for financial stability, she had made herself vulnerable to emotional devastation.

  Seeing him with Amy had brought this to the surface. Rage burned through her body when she saw them kiss and she’d blamed it on humiliation, snapping at Jesse like a small yappy dog. But like the dog, she’d only been trying to defend herself, to protect herself from the real source of pain.

  She had given her heart to him, something she had never intended to do. Jesse was an honorable man. He felt bad for the pain he’d caused Amy and would regret any pain he caused her, too, but that didn’t make the anguish easier to bear. The thought of losing him to someone else or to the war itself scared her as much as finding herself stranded in this primitive century.

  Maybe even more.

  She could do nothing about the dangers of war. But she’d fight long and hard before she lost him to Amy or anybody else.

  Eighteen

  Chapter 18

  Diamond spent the first few days after Jesse’s departure learning the rhythms of the household. Besides Betty, there were two other maids who helped with cleaning and laundry. The cook, a large black woman, reigned in the kitchen over an assistant. A gardener took care of the yard and another male servant ran errands and drove the carriage. So she and Janet had little real work to do.

  Janet planned the menus and sometimes did the shopping. She played the part of hostess when Ian had other members of the government over. Diamond listened, learning about funding problems and the difficulty of supplying troops to the Confederacy when Union sympathizers had kicked them out of their state. They still sent recruiters to Missouri to find volunteers but had no real power. The temptation to suggest they accept the inevitable hung over her head. She thought they should either go home and live under Union rule or move south and stop pretending Missouri would ever be a legitimate part of the Confederacy. Guessing her father-in-law wouldn’t appreciate her input, she stayed silent.

  Jesse had only asked two things of her—to placate his difficult father and to write regularly. She was learning to hold her tongue and had started a letter, detailing the events of her day. However, she found the days long and dull. She was used to chasing stories, writing news copy and often appearing on camera, expertly made up and something of a celebrity. Ari had provided her with some cosmetics and she and Victoria had taught her how to use them sparingly to enhance her appearance without being obvious since “decent” women didn’t wear makeup. But in a town filled with women, children and old men, she rarely used them. She kept her opinions to herself and tried to blend in. She felt invisible.

  Just that morning, she and Janet had gone shopping. Visiting the butcher shop, bakery, greengrocer, and dry goods store made her miss the large supermarkets of the future. After lunch, they were going to their first meeting of the support group for Rebel soldiers. Much as she dreaded the experience, perhaps it would give her something to write about.

  They called for the carriage since they had bags of yarn, bolts of material and sewing and knitting supplies to bring with them.

  Amy’s parents, Senator and Mrs. Verdine had rented a larger home than Ian. It was in a wealthier part of town, but farther away from the government offices
. The elegant brick structure set back from the street and a cobbled walkway led to the door. Their driver helped them carry their bags.

  A butler answered their knock and led them to a large parlor already filled with women. The buzz of chatter died, and all eyes turned towards Diamond as she entered the room with Janet.

  Janet greeted her hostess and introduced Diamond. “She married my brother, Jesse, in St. Louis a few weeks ago.” She then went around the circle, rattling off names which Diamond promptly forgot.

  “I’m pleased to have you join us,” her hostess said in a tone that implied the opposite. “We meet once a week to do our part to help our boys in gray.”

  Diamond felt the weight of Amy’s animosity and the cool perusal of Mrs. Verdine, but she nodded to the two women as if she were oblivious to their hostility. Slowly chatter resumed as the women bent their heads to their work.

  “We mainly knit socks and sew shirts,” Janet said. “What would you like to do?”

  “Socks. I’m not much of a seamstress,” Diamond replied, glad she had signed up for lessons when knitting became trendy. She’d been doing a story on the revival of traditional yarn arts and had thought it would make an interesting sidebar. To her surprise, she’d found it relaxing and had taken more lessons after finishing her basic class. She could manage a halfway decent pair of socks.

  Janet handed her a bag of yarn. “Pick your yarn and find a pair of needles. We can share my copy of the pattern.”

  Diamond chose a gray yarn and a set of double-pointed needles. She had to concentrate while casting on, but once she fell into the groove, she began to pay attention to the surrounding conversations. Everyone had a husband, sweetheart, brother, or son serving in the Confederate Army. Some, like the Webers, also had men fighting for the Union.

  “Everything made in this group goes to our soldiers,” Mrs. Verdine reminded them. “If you must sew for the enemy, do it on your own time.” Amy’s family was staunchly Southern and made no secret about it.