Strings

by Emma Lea

  With a deep sigh, he stood too, busying himself with putting his laptop back on his desk and surreptitiously adjusting himself so that his erection wouldn’t be obvious to her. When he was suitably appropriate, he walked over to where she stood and smiled down at her. She turned her face up to him and a sweet smile tilted her lips.

  “Thanks Doc,” she said.

  He fisted his hands at his sides in order to stop them reaching for her. He had never crossed a line with a patient before and up until this point he had never thought he would. There was just something about her that drew him. He wanted to feel her body pressed up against his. He wanted to taste her lips and hear her moan his name.

  “It’s been a pleasure,” he said, his voice low and scratchy.

  Her eyes darkened as she looked up at him. They were only inches apart and it wouldn’t take much to lower his head and kiss her. It would be wrong, but it would be oh-so easy to do.

  She pressed up on her toes and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. The simple touch undid him and he couldn’t stop what happened next even if he tried. His hands reached for her, pulling her into his body and he captured her lips in a searing kiss. She melted against him without a moment’s hesitation and he groaned low in his throat. She wound her arms around his neck and parted her lips, her tongue licking into his mouth and sliding against his. Electricity coursed through his body. His brain was screaming at him that what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t stop.

  Without losing contact with her mouth, he walked them towards the door of his office until she was pressed up against it. He leaned into her body and rubbed his aching hard-on against her. He felt her shiver and heard the soft moan as she rocked against him. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He could feel the wet heat of her core as he ground himself against her. Her hands threaded through his hair and tugged. He lifted his head and looked down at her. She returned his gaze with lust-soaked eyes, her lips swollen and wet from his kisses. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered.

  “I don’t care,” she whispered back, using her grip on his hair to tilt his head back up so she could see his eyes. “I want this,” she breathed. “I want you.”

  He growled and captured her lips in another demanding kiss. Their tongues tangled and teeth clashed as the kiss heated up. He rocked into her, wanting the few layers of clothing between them to disappear, but not moving his hands to make it a reality. He knew he had to stop but he just didn’t want to.

  A discreet beep from his computer reminded him that his next patient was waiting. With a groan, he pulled his mouth away from hers. She looked up at him with desire and trust and need - all the things that spoke to him. He wanted to satisfy her desire; he ached for her trust and he wanted to fill the need he saw in her eyes, but he couldn’t. Not here. Not now. Probably not ever.

  He kissed her once, lightly, on the lips and then pulled away from her. Her legs slid down from around him, but neither of them stepped away. Neither of them willing to break contact.

  “We can’t do this,” he said softly, reaching up to cup her cheek and slide his hands into the thick hair that he had dreamed about wrapping around his hands.

  “Maybe not here,” she said, “and maybe not right now, but we can definitely do this.”

  He searched her eyes. He wanted to tell her yes, but something held him back.

  “I have a gig tonight,” she whispered, stretching up to press little kisses on his neck and jaw. “Come and watch and then maybe we can have a drink after.” She found his lips with hers and kissed him thoroughly, scrambling his brain for a moment.

  “Nadine,” he said on a groan, but she just smiled up at him.

  “I’ll see you tonight,” she said, “at Dirty Moe’s. We go on at nine.”

  She slid out from where he had her pinned to the wall and he felt the loss of her. He leaned against the wall for a moment trying to regain his composure before he turned to see her straighten that tiny little skirt and fluff her hair out. She looked like she had been thoroughly ravished and he had a mild panic that everybody in the waiting room would know what they had just been doing. The problem was he liked the way she looked. He liked that he had been the one to put that smile on her face and that flush in her cheeks.

  “Good bye Nadine,” he said, his voice rough.

  She winked at him. “See you tonight, Doc.”

  Chapter Two

  Dirty Moe’s was crowded. Gabe pushed his way through the people looking for a table and cursing himself for even being there in the first place. He should’ve stayed away, but the pull of Nadine was too strong. He wanted to see her again even if it was from a distance. He didn't have to approach her after the gig, she wouldn't even have to know he was there. He was there simply because she intrigued him and he wanted to see her first performance. He was just being a good therapist, making sure she coped with such a huge step…he was also lying to himself.

  The truth was that after that kiss in his office, he couldn't get her out of his mind. The rest of his day had been shot to hell. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything his patients said, not that any of them seemed to notice. He had replayed the whole thing over and over in his mind. He ruminated on the way she felt as he pressed her up against the door. He felt again the touch of her lips on his and remembered the taste of her as he had devoured her mouth with his. His whole afternoon had been spent reliving those few stolen moments and trying to hide the very prominent response to the images. He'd had an iron-spike cock all day and he knew there was no relief in sight, especially when he looked up and saw Court’n Jacks taking the stage.

  Nadine took her spot and he couldn't drag his eyes away from her. She wore tiny little purple, sparkly shorts. Tight, sparkly, purple shorts. Short shorts. Tiny, tight, sparkly, purple short shorts that looked painted on. Little tiny shorts that left her legs bare. With an unreasonable amount of effort Gabe raised his eyes. Above those very distracting shorts she wore a sheer white shirt and underneath that shirt - whose buttons were undone down to her navel - she wore a black sparkly bra. Gabe swiped a hand over his mouth to make sure he wasn't drooling. Thank God she hadn't worn anything like that to therapy or he would have had a heart attack.

  He looked up to her face and he saw something that he hadn't seen in all the hours he'd spent in his office with her. He saw life. She had told him how music made her feel and he'd seen the way it lit her up when she talked about it but that was nothing to actually seeing the real-life results. She glowed. She stole his breath. He had always thought she was beautiful, but seeing her up on stage with her violin clutched in her hand, he finally saw the real Nadine and she was absolutely stunning.

  He fought his way forward, needing to be as close as possible to her. She hadn't seen him and he still wasn't sure if he wanted her to, but he needed to be closer. He reached the front and squeezed up against the barricade that separated the crowd from the stage. Dirty Moe’s wasn't a big venue but they did showcase some pretty impressive talent and they knew to keep the crowd back from rushing the stage. Court’n Jacks wasn't exactly world famous, especially after their aborted summer tour, but they were still popular enough to draw a decent audience. Enough of an audience to warrant a security guard or two who patrolled the no-man’s land between the barricade and the stage.

  The lights dimmed and her violin rang out in the dark. He closed his eyes as the music floated around him. It was beautiful and tragic as only a violin can be and he took a deep breath. Despite living in Nashville, he wasn't exactly what you would call a country music fan. He didn't hate it, but he wasn't exactly up with all the current artists. After his first meeting with Nadine, he had sought out her band on iTunes and there was something about it that spoke to him.

  There was a pause in the music before the full sound of the band crashed into existence accompanied by a bright flash of lights that lit the stage. The crowd responded lo
udly and Gabe was jostled by those around him. He opened his eyes and they sought her out immediately. He couldn't help but zero in on Nadine as she played. The look on her face was transcendent. He had never seen her look more at peace or more beautiful. Her eyes were closed in utter bliss and he thanked whatever fate had engineered him being there to witness it. Whatever else was going on in her life, music grounded her. She had told him. She had tried to explain it but he had never really understood. He didn't have a musical bone in his body and although he enjoyed music, it was more for background noise than anything else. Seeing her in her element, it all clicked into place for him. Being in rehab and then the extended therapy had taken her away from the one thing that could heal her.

  She opened her eyes and as if she could sense his presence, she looked right at him. Nadine smiled and he felt it all the way to his groin. He was already painfully hard just from watching her, but knowing she saw him and that his being there made her happy only made his problem worse.

  He wanted her. He wanted her more than he could ever begin to understand. And if he was reading the look in her eyes right, she wanted him just as much.

  Fuck.

  He was screwed. There was no way he could walk away from her. It didn't matter that it was the ethical thing to do. He had crossed that ethical line this morning when he'd pushed her up against his door and kissed the shit out of her. He needed another taste of her and even though it might very well end up with him burning in hell, he couldn't walk away. Not now. Not after seeing her like some fierce avenging angel as she played her heart out for him. He was doomed and he didn't give a shit about the consequences.

  Nadine couldn't believe how nervous she was. It felt like her first time, which brought a smile to her face. Her first time had been so long ago that she couldn't even remember it. She had been playing in front of audiences from the time she was old enough to play. Growing up in a musical family sort of made it a given. Both her parents were musicians and had been in a folk band. A folk band that had anywhere between five and fifteen members, depending on the gig and the availability and mental stability of the members. Her earliest memories were of the big yellow school bus that they had travelled around in from gig to gig. That was before it all went terribly wrong.

  Nadine closed her eyes and pushed the disturbing thoughts from her mind, letting herself get lost in the music. Music never lied to her and it never let her down. It was the one constant in her life and sometimes she thought it was the only thing she could rely on. Music never left her.

  She felt his eyes on her. Nadine didn't know how she knew it was Gabe, but the weight of his gaze on her was unmistakable. He'd come. She wasn't sure he would. As much as she had wanted him there, she hadn't really believed that he could get over his hang ups enough to accept her invitation. A smile played over her lips and she opened her eyes, looking straight at him.

  God he was gorgeous. She had been attracted to him from the first moment she had walked into his office. Gabe was nothing like the guys she normally dated. Nadine had a reputation for liking the bad boys and Gabe was anything but a bad boy. He wore wool slacks and Oxford business shirts. She'd even seen him in a tie once. She usually went for guys in ripped jeans and ragged t-shirts with tattoos and piercings. She doubted that Gabe had a mark on his virgin skin or even owned a pair of jeans that had so much as a pulled thread in them. But none of that mattered.

  She had felt a connection with him as soon as he had reached out to shake her hand. The electricity had zipped through her body like lightning and left her breathless. And yet he had stood there with a smile on his face like nothing had happened. She had spent the next six weeks trying to break through his cold exterior…no, cold was the wrong word. He was far from cold. But he did have an aloofness about him that held him apart. She had wanted to get behind that wall and ruffle his feathers. Finally today she had and oh my god! The boy had untapped heat. It was in the way he had taken control of the kiss and pushed her up against the door. It was the feel of the hard monster in his pants as he rubbed against her making her wet and desperate for him.

  And now here he was and by the look of him she was going to get to plumb those hidden depths and tap into that latent heat. She suppressed a shiver as the song ended and the crowd roared.

  She felt the adrenalin spike and it had always fueled her sexual appetite. It was one of the things she had worried about coming back to the stage. She didn't want to fall back into old habits. If she had learned anything in rehab and therapy, it was that she needed to make new associations in her brain. Right now she had destructive patterns and the trick to keeping her life on the straight and narrow would be to change those patterns to healthier ones.

  But Gabe was here and he was looking at her like he could eat her up. She couldn't suppress the shiver that coursed through her at the thought. She dimly heard the snare drum as Vanessa counted in the next song and she lifted her violin to her chin, her eyes not leaving his. He was here and that could only mean one thing - he wanted to finish what they had started earlier today. She wanted that too.

  With a secret smile, she closed her eyes and played. It was so good to once again have the music pour out of her. Playing in the studio was one thing, but there was something so much more about performing on stage. The energy of the crowd transferred to her through the air and she breathed it in. She felt alive the first time in so long. The cells in her body came awake and everything just felt more - louder, brighter, hotter. It was a feeling of power and one that scared her. The natural high that she got from playing music was too close to what she imagined her mother felt during one of her ‘episodes.’ The pull towards it was addictive, but the fear held her back from totally abandoning herself to the feeling. The rehab doctors had told her that she didn't have the same issue - she wasn't bipolar like her mother - but how could she be sure? She had seen the way her mother had been in her manic states. The perpetual happiness and over-the-top optimism. When she performed she felt like that, like she was flying, like nothing could bring her down. Wasn't that the same thing? Wasn't what she felt just the early stages of the mental illness that had ultimately taken both her parents?

  She took a deep breath, once again pushing aside the tumult of emotions. The doctors had assured her it wasn't the same and she had to believe them. If she didn't trust their diagnosis then she would end up right back where she was over the summer and that was the last place she wanted to be. She was determined not to mess up the band’s second chance.

  She opened her eyes again and met the steady gaze of Gabe. Seeing him there calmed her. It helped her to relax and find her Zen in the music. She could do this and then, when it was over, she would celebrate with the gorgeous man standing in the front row fucking her with his eyes.

  Gabe followed the muscle-bound, black t-shirted gorilla through the warren of backstage corridors. The ticket Nadine had left for him gave him backstage access and before Gabe had had a chance to make a run for it, the security guard had pulled him from the crowd. He still wasn't sure that he should even be there. It was a completely different thing when he thought he could be anonymous, but the moment she had seen him any thoughts of leaving had vanished. She would be expecting him.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to look at the screen. Amaya.

  “Hello sister mine,” he said as he tried to keep up with the big guy who was surprisingly fast for his size.

  “Gabriel,” she said and he could tell she was smiling. “Where are you?”

  “Believe it or not I am backstage at Dirty Moe's.”

  “What?”

  He couldn't help the grin that split his face. “It's true.”

  Amaya was quiet on the other end of the phone - a feat in and of itself - and Gabe couldn't help but feel a little smug.

  “Who’s playing?” she asked after a while.

  Gabe hesitated. “Court’n Jacks.”

  “Hmmm. And the lovely Nadine isn't perhaps on the stage with them is she
?”

  There was something decidedly disturbing about having a twin sister who could read you like a billboard. Amaya was also a psychologist and worked in the same practice as Gabe. They had discussed Nadine, in a professional way, when the musician first started coming to see him. Of course Amaya had seen more than he was comfortable with, but that was her superpower.

  “It's her first gig back,” he said lamely.

  “And you’re there because…”

  He lifted a hand to rub the bridge of his nose and exhaled roughly. It was a fair question, but one he didn’t want to answer, not honestly anyway.

  “We had our last session today,” he said, “and she invited me to come and watch her perform.”

  “So you’re just being a supportive therapist then?”

  “No,” he replied hotly, “I’m not her therapist anymore.”

  “You didn’t recommend she continue her sessions?”

  “Of course I did,” he said, exasperated with Amaya’s inquisition. “I just suggested she see someone else. Francis maybe, or Carol.”

  “But not me?” Amaya laughed. “You’re going to hell,” she sing-songed.

  “Goodbye Amaya,” he said and heard the cackle of her laughter as he disconnected.

  The big guy in front of him stopped outside a door and opened it for Gabe. He peered around the doorjamb to see the room packed with people. He hadn’t expected that. He thought that maybe he would get a chance to see Nadine alone. He wanted to congratulate her on her performance and then make a hasty retreat. Coming here was a bad idea. Even if he entertained fantasies of the two of them getting naked, he really, really shouldn’t act on them.