Strings

by Emma Lea

  “Last chance,” he whispered, his voice a husky caress against her lips. He really could read her mind.

  She didn’t answer him, not with words anyway. Instead, she skated her hands across his shoulders, up his neck and into the short hair at his nape and dragged him down so that she could fuse her lips to his. She felt the vibration of his groan as their near-naked bodies connected and relished the shiver that trembled through him when her tongue touched his. He would ruin her, she knew, but what a way to go.

  Gabe rocked his steel-hard cock into the soft juncture of her thighs and she arched into him. Need tore through her like a hurricane, scattering her thoughts and leaving nothing coherent in its wake. She fisted her fingers in his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist, her heels digging in to his ass to bring him closer.

  “Fuck,” he breathed into her mouth, dragging the word out.

  “Yes, please,” she whispered in response rubbing herself against him trying to find the release she craved.

  He levered up off her so suddenly she was left a little stunned for a moment and then his hands were on her, tugging at her bra and tearing at her panties. She was gloriously naked and watched with hooded eyes as he pushed down his briefs to reveal the thick monster that had her mouth and her core saturated with want. He reached into a drawer of his bedside and pulled out a condom. He rolled it on and she bit her lip as his hand shuttled up and down his hard length in a quick, dirty stroke.

  “I wanted to take my time,” he said, his voice rough and dark and so unlike the cultured therapist she had come to know. The sandpaper sound of it was deliciously abrasive against her skin and she shivered as it prickled in response. “But I just can’t fucking control myself around you.”

  He crawled back on the bed and nudged his way between her legs. She reached for him, wanting to feel the heat of his skin against hers. The head of his cock snugged in her entrance and she canted her hips so that he slid home. They both groaned as he filled her, stretching her and hitting every one of her erogenous zones all at once.

  He sucked in a breath as he held himself still above her, allowing her to adjust to his size. The tips of her breasts brushed against the crinkling hairs of his chest and she shuddered with the simple pleasure of it. He looked down at her, his green eyes dark with an intensity that seared her. He kissed her and then began to move, pumping into her with long, slow glides. Her fingers curled into the flesh of his back, her short nails scrabbling for purchase as his rhythm increased.

  She cried out as her climax gathered. The world fell away until there was nothing but the two of them locked in a sensual dance that lovers had indulged in since the dawn of time. Never had it been this intense for her before. Never had a man been able to reach inside her and touch her deepest, darkest parts. But Gabe did. With every glorious slide of his cock inside her, he undid her, revealed her, remade her. When she didn’t think she could take any more, her body exploded with pleasure so acute that she was blinded by bright, white lights. Her throat felt raw as a cry was torn from it. Gabe answered her in kind, his body slamming into her as he shouted out his own release. The sound of his voice crying out her name caused her to clench around him and she felt the throb of his release inside her.

  She wound her arms and legs around him, pulling his body down onto the bed so that his weight pressed her into the mattress. She was afraid that if she let go she would fall apart, that her body would simply come apart at the seams. He must have needed the contact too because he didn’t try to move out of her embrace. His harsh breaths sounded in her ears and his pounding heart thumped against her chest, matching the rushed beat of her own.

  Nadine squeezed her eyes tight. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Sex was supposed to be a release. It was supposed to be one and done. Sleeping with Gabe was meant to get him out of her system, only… now she was afraid that he had been so burned into her body, mind, and spirit that she would never be free of him.

  Chapter Four

  It was still dark but there was enough moonlight for Gabe to see as he watched the woman beside him sleep. He’d been so careful for so long, especially after the clusterfuck that happened with Jeanie. It was his job to sit and listen, give advice when needed and help his patients sort through the emotions and anxieties of their lives. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to them. He wasn’t supposed to open himself up and let them in.

  Nadine’s chest rose and fell in systematic, rhythmic breaths. Her long, dark lashes brushed the apples of her cheeks and her full mouth was soft and relaxed as she slept - maybe a little swollen and pink from his kisses. Gabe smiled. He could stare at her for hours. She was captivating. He’d known from the moment she walked into his office that he was in trouble. He should have transferred her to another therapist, but he couldn’t do it. He’d had an unhealthy anticipation to see her each week. A craving he couldn’t deny.

  Now he had no idea how he was going to walk away from her. He knew that’s what he should do. He knew it would be what she wanted. Nadine wasn’t ready for a relationship. He wasn’t under any illusion that this was any more than just a fling for her - he’d known that going in - and he’d been fine with that until…until she had reached inside him and took a fistful of his heart and squeezed. Every protective, caveman urge within him had risen up and now he didn’t know where that left them. He couldn’t walk away. He should, but he couldn’t.

  Nadine’s eyes fluttered open and a soft smile creased her face as she looked up at him sleepily. His heart clenched even as his cock hardened. What he wouldn’t give to see that look on her face every morning for the rest of his life.

  “Hey,” she rasped, her voice thick and husky from sleep.

  “Hey,” he replied before leaning down and kissing her lips softly.

  She didn’t let the kiss stay soft for long. She wound her arm around his neck and pulled him down to her as she opened and licked inside his mouth. He groaned as he deepened the kiss, rolling her onto her back so he could settle himself between her legs. Their first round had been all heat and explosions, this was different. This time it was a slow burn than ran deep.

  He nipped at her chin and then licked the hollow of her throat. Her breath hissed out as she arched her neck, exposing more skin to his mouth. He sucked on the pulse that fluttered at the side of her neck and bit down on the muscle of her shoulder. Her short nails and strong fingers dug into his back in appreciation and he rocked against her, his cock sliding through her warm, wet folds but not entering her.

  He moved down her body, circling one nipple with his tongue while he pinched the other. Her soft moan was his reward as she arched her back and begged for more. Her breasts were the perfect size, not too big that they got in the way and not too small that he couldn’t get a decent handful. Everything about her seemed to fit him, like she was designed and tailor-made for him.

  Her hands were in his hair and she tugged at the short strands. The little stings on his scalp heightened his need. How was it that she knew what he needed, what he wanted? How was it that after only one hot and fast coupling, their bodies knew each other so well? Gabe was not a big believer in fate or destiny or even soul mates, but as he slid his tongue down across her belly and circled her navel, he wanted to believe that the two of them were fated.

  Her hands in his hair changed from tugging the strands to pushing his head to where she wanted him. He knew what she wanted and as he nuzzled the crease of her thigh and breathed in her arousal, he was only too happy to give it to her. With aching slowness he licked her slit, gathering the wetness on his tongue. Her taste exploded in his mouth and he groaned. God, everything about her turned him on in ways that no one else had. He licked her again, this time circling the hard little nub that poked out eagerly. She cried out and rocked her hips into his face. She was so responsive and it drove him higher. He liked it when a woman was an active participant in their bed sports and Nadine was fulfilling all of his dreams.

  “More,” she whispered huskily.r />
  He slid a finger into her channel as he sucked on her clit and he felt her internal muscles shudder. He added a second finger and she mewled in response as she pulsed her hips seeking more. He lifted his head and bit her inner thigh, using his thumb to worry her clit as he continued to finger her. He laved the bite mark with his tongue and then bit her again, sucking the skin into his mouth. She cried out and he felt the tightening of her channel as her orgasm hit. She rode his fingers and he lapped at her, coating his tongue with her juices as she flooded his mouth.

  Before she had a chance to recover too much, he withdrew from her and reached for a condom. Sheathing himself quickly, he flipped her onto her stomach and pulled her up onto her knees before sliding home. Her pussy clenched around him and he groaned with the pleasure of it. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hips as he withdrew and then slammed home again. She rocked back into him, matching his pace, and he felt the tingle in his spine and the tightening of his balls that signaled his own release was imminent.

  Nadine’s hand moved underneath her until she found the place where they were joined. Her clever fingers skimmed over him as he continued to pound into her. He reached around and took her hand in his, guiding her fingers to her clit. Her pussy fisted around him as she came again and he roared his own climax, stilling while his cock throbbed with his release.

  He rolled them onto their sides and pulled Nadine back against his chest, not yet ready to be apart from her. He felt the erratic beating of her heart against his hand as pressed it into her chest, holding her tight. Her hand covered his and he buried his face into the mass of her hair that fell around her shoulders.

  This was more than just sex. He knew it in his heart and he had no idea what he hell the was going to do about it.

  Nadine smiled against the warm chest as she burrowed closer. Gabe made her feel so safe and when his arms were around her the noisy voices in her head quieted. No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t just when she was in his arms, it was just being in the same room as him that gave her a peace that she had searched for and never been able to find. She hadn’t expected to find that with a person. She thought the only way to numb the pain and clear her mind of the invasive thoughts and emotions was with chemical help.

  Going to rehab had been her choice. She had believed that she was bipolar just like her mother. After her overdose, she was determined not to be a burden to her family like her mother had been. She may have been too young to understand the full extent of what was going on with her mother, but she wasn’t too young to see the defeat on her father’s face. Her mother’s refusal to take her medication regularly had put far too much pressure on the man who loved her to distraction. Her father would do anything for his wife and it was what had gotten him killed. Nadine refused to do that to her siblings.

  So, rehab. She had thought that once they diagnosed her she could just hide away there and not disrupt Jace and Vanessa’s lives any more than she already had. But the doctors had disagreed with her self-diagnosis and instead they’d sent her to therapy. Nadine had not been happy. The last thing she wanted to do was to lie on a couch and talk about her inner most thoughts and fears. Her mind was a scary place and she did not want to inflict that on anyone.

  But then she had met Gabe. God, she had been such a bitch to him in that first session. But he’d just sat there and hadn’t let her get under his skin, no matter what she tried. It had intrigued her. She knew how to manipulate people, she had been doing it for far too long. Jace and Vanessa both were like her little puppets - or had been until she had realized what she was doing. But Gabe refused to be manipulated and instead of enraging her like she expected, it actually calmed her. She had never had someone like that in her life, someone so un-reactive. He didn’t take her crap, didn’t let her get away with the shit stunts she tried to pull and it had broken down the walls she had built around herself.

  Spending the night with him was a mistake, but not one that she could regret. She knew there was no future for them. Why would a guy like Gabe - who had his shit together - want to be with a hot mess like her? Everything about her was a disaster and she could only bring that disaster into any relationship she might have. Gabe didn’t need that in his life, he didn’t need her.

  “Hey,” he said, his voice raspy and broken. “What’s wrong?”

  Nadine sniffled. She hadn’t realized she was crying, but the wet patch on Gabe’s chest was her proof.

  He brushed the hair away from her face and cupped the back of her head, tilting her face so that she was looking up at him. His concerned eyes searched her before he lowered his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

  “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he whispered against her lips. “Tell me why you’re upset.”

  She shook her head and burrowed into the crook of his neck, hiding her face from him. He caressed her back, his hands soothing the hurts that he didn’t even know about. This man. This wonderful, amazing, beautiful man didn’t deserve the complication of having her in his life. She knew that them being together was not a great career move on his part and for the life of her she couldn’t understand why he had taken the risk. Gabe was not a man to toss away his ethics for a hot piece of ass. He deserved someone a hell of a lot more put together than she ever could be.

  “Nadine, sweetheart,” he tried again. “Come on babe, talk to me.”

  “I can’t,” she mumbled into his skin.

  He combed his hand through the long lengths of her hair and she squeezed her eyes closed at the memories that assaulted her with the simple action. She remembered her mother doing that to her after she’d had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep. The slow rhythmic strokes calmed her. Now Gabe did it and it stirred up so many emotions inside her she thought she was going to burst open.

  The doctors had to be wrong. There was no way she was normal. No way that she wasn’t touched with the same mental illness as her mother. All the signs were there.

  Gabe continued to stroke his hands through her hair. He held her close and the steadiness of his breathing, the comforting regular thumping of his heart, and his stillness caused a yearning to rise up in Nadine. She didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to leave the safety and security of this man’s arms. And because of that, she couldn’t stay.

  She wiggled, trying to get away from him, trying to roll away but he only held her tighter. Fighting against the temptation to just give in and sink into his arms, surrendering to his ministrations, she sunk her teeth into his neck and sucked. If she couldn’t get away from him then she was going to take from him, anything to stop the tide of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

  Instead of continuing to pull away from him, she rolled into him, pushing him over onto his back and then she straddled him. He looked up at her in confusion, but she felt the thickening of his cock between her thighs. He liked it when she was demanding. She ground herself against him and he closed his eyes, his hips canting into hers. She pinched the flat discs of his nipples and leaned forward to lick his chest. His hands closed around her upper arms and he rolled them over, pinning her beneath him. He looked down at her, the lust cleared from his eyes.

  “Oh no you don’t,” he said.

  “What?” she asked, feigning innocence.

  He pushed up off her and rolled of the bed, swearing.

  Nadine pulled the sheet up over her cooling body and huddled into a ball. She had gone and fucked it up, just like she knew she would. She had ruined the perfect night because she was afraid of facing the morning and knowing that she would have to say goodbye to him. Why couldn’t she ever just leave well enough alone? She could have walked away with this night as an untainted and perfect memory, but instead she had to go and wreck it for both of them. This was why she couldn’t have good things in her life, because she inevitably fucked them up.

  Gabe paced around the bed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Something had spooked Nadine. He didn’t know what it was, but he was not going to let her use what they had shar
ed - an amazing night of love-making - against him. He knew what she was doing and it pissed him off. She had gotten scared and her way of dealing with the fear was to turn it into something she could control.

  He turned to look at her as she huddled under the covers of his bed. She had rolled into the fetus position and pulled the sheets over her head. Hiding. Hiding from him.

  He swore under his breath and stalked back to the bed, sitting down beside her and taking a deep breath. Gently he peeled back the covers to find that she had hidden her face in her hands and covered them with her hair. Taking his time and using slow movements so as not to startle her - not unlike approaching a snarling dog or frightened horse - he brushed the hair back from her face. With her eyes scrunched shut and her face clean of makeup, she looked so young. And miserable.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  She grimaced but refused to open her eyes.

  He leaned down and brushed a kiss on her forehead and then one on each of her closed eyelids before dusting her lips with one. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him with something like fear tempered with hope.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “For ruining everything.”

  He smiled down at her, cupping her cheek and running his thumb along her plump bottom lip. “You didn’t ruin everything,” he said.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to roll away from him, but he put a hand on her shoulder to keep her still.

  She huffed out a breath and opened her eyes and they were glossy with unshed tears. It broke his heart. In all their therapy sessions, Nadine had not cried once. Not when she talked about her parents, not when she talked about the night she overdosed.