About Last Night...

by Michele Dunaway

  The pounding in Lindy’s head was excruciating. She’d waited for Shane to love her. So why was she questioning it? Was it not her dream come true? And Shane certainly had looked earnest enough. She’d seen an emotion in his eyes that she knew hadn’t been there before she’d woken up in the hospital. Tina knew more than she was telling, and Lindy wanted to know what it was. “Tina, men change their minds. Tell me, why aren’t you sure?”

  Tina shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

  “No, tell me. You’re my best friend. You must tell me.”

  “Lindy, I—”

  “Please,” Lindy pleaded. She winced. How long had it been since her last pain medication? Just a few moments more and she’d call for a nurse. Just as soon as Tina told her everything.

  Tina tightened her grip. “You’ve paled. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  She wasn’t, but she couldn’t allow Tina to digress. “Yes. Tell me.”

  Tina took a deep breath. “After we met for lunch, I went to an afternoon movie with Tom. I’d turned my phone off, and while I was there, you left me a hysterical message on my voice mail asking me to call you. You said Shane didn’t love you, and you’d overheard him telling his grandfather several times that he never would.”

  And upon hearing Tina’s words, Lindy’s missing memory roared back.

  WHEN SHANE STEPPED out of the elevator, the first thing he noticed was the flurry of activity near Lindy’s doorway. Tina stood outside of it, and from thirty feet Shane could clearly see that she was shaken.

  Shane cleared the distance down the hallway in two seconds. He craned his head over Tina’s shoulder. He could see a doctor examining Lindy. “What’s wrong?”

  Tina gazed at Shane, her expression bitter. Her look chilled him. “She just got her memory back.”

  Shane’s full weight came down upon his feet and he stared at Tina. “Her memory’s back?”

  Tina crossed her arms over her chest. The shaking was gone, and in its place was a controlled fury. “Yes, all of it came back. Including the fact that you swore to your grandfather that you don’t love her.”

  The package of Ho Ho’s slipped through Shane’s hand, but he didn’t bend to retrieve it from the tile floor. “It was all a mistake. I did some thinking and—”

  Tina drew herself up, her voice forceful, yet still a low, for-his-ears-only sound. “You’re the reason she ran away from the office. Did you know she left me a hysterical message on my voice mail? She said she couldn’t even stand being in the same office, that she needed time to think. I can’t even begin to forgive you for hurting her. Do you know how much that woman loves you? You are the biggest fool in the world, Shane Jacobsen.”

  “Not anymore.” Shane broke eye contact and he reached down for Lindy’s package of chocolate cakes. He stood back up, his posture sure. “I love her, and I knew it before the accident happened. I’m going to make everything okay.”

  Tina still blocked the doorway, as if refusing to let him pass. Her eyes narrowed. “You need to see that you do. Lindy means the world to me, and I’m not going to stand by and let you hurt her. She’s had enough of that in her life. For the last three years she hasn’t even been able to date anyone because of you. Because she’d fallen in love with you. You, and you don’t even deserve her.”

  Shane tilted his head slightly. “You’re never going to like me, are you?”

  “No.”

  Shane pursed his lips. At least Tina was honest. “Hopefully someday I’ll be able to change your mind. You’re Lindy’s best friend, and she’s my wife. From now forward, she’ll know it, too.”

  As if recognizing the conviction in Shane’s words, Tina nodded slightly. “Make her happy, Shane. That’s all I want for her.”

  “I will,” Shane promised.

  The doctor came to the doorway, forcing both of them to step aside in order to let him leave the room. “Mr. Jacobsen,” the doctor said. “Your wife has regained her memory. I’ve done some checks, and everything, including your wife’s headache, is normal. We’re planning on keeping her overnight, and if she continues to make good progress, she might be able to go home tomorrow evening.”

  Elation filled Shane. “That’s good news,” he said.

  “Very good,” the doctor said with a nod. “Your wife is a fortunate woman. She could have been injured much worse, but she and the baby are both doing fine.”

  “Thank you,” Shane said. Ignoring Tina, he entered the room. He knew leaving Tina in the hall was rude, but right now he wanted to see Lindy. He wanted to talk to her, to hug and kiss her just the way his father had suggested.

  The bed was up at a small, less-than-45-degree angle, and her eyes were closed when he approached. “Lindy,” he said. He set the package of Hostess Ho Ho’s on the rolling table.

  Her long eyelashes fluttered open, revealing those brown eyes he loved so much. He had so much to tell her, so much to make up to her. She blinked. “Shane.”

  Emotional pain in her voice, and he knew he’d caused it. Remaining standing, he bent over her. “I heard the news,” he said. “You might get to go home tomorrow night.”

  “She has a huge headache,” Tina reminded him as she stepped into the room. Shane straightened and glared at Lindy’s friend. Tina ignored him. “Lindy, love, I’m going to get going, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I’ll come by your house in a few days.”

  Tina leaned down and gave Lindy a quick kiss on her cheek. “I love you like a sister, Lindy. You let me know if you need me.”

  “I will,” Lindy said.

  As Shane watched the exchange, it all suddenly became clear. The love of two best friends permeated the room, and Shane suddenly understood. No wonder he and Tina were such adversaries. Tina saw him as the enemy. Well, not anymore, Shane resolved. He loved Lindy. He would spend the rest of his days making it up to her, telling her. Starting now.

  He reached forward, moving a lock of stray blond hair out of her face. “Are you up for talking?”

  “I don’t know,” Lindy said. “My head’s pounding. They gave me something for it, but it hasn’t kicked in.”

  “We can talk later,” Shane said.

  “Is there a later?” Lindy asked. Shane winced. He deserved that. He hated the pain he saw in her eyes, but he knew that right now wasn’t the time for professing his love. She wouldn’t believe him. Not after what he’d said, what he’d done. They needed to talk first.

  But he could offer her reassurance. He nodded. “There is a later for us, Lindy. There’s a future, too.” He took a deep breath and took her hand in his. “We have a future. That I promise you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “Welcome home, miss. Are you sure you should be walking?” Marni bustled about, and Lindy gave her an appreciative smile.

  “I’m fine,” Lindy said. Seeing Marni’s dubious expression, she added, “Really. I practised walking at the hospital before I left. They wanted to make sure I didn’t get dizzy or anything.”

  Marni didn’t look convinced. “If you’re sure, miss.

  Now anything you need, you just tell me.”

  “We have flowers and plants in the car,” Shane said.

  “Oh, very good.” Marni moved toward the garage, grateful for something to do.

  “That should keep her busy for a bit,” Shane said. “She seemed like she needed a task.”

  “People often do,” Lindy agreed. “It makes them feel less helpless.”

  Shane reached out a hand to steady her. He gently cupped her elbow and warmth traveled to her toes before he released her. “Got it?”

  “Yes.” Lindy took another unassisted step forward. Shane had wanted to carry her, but she hadn’t wanted to be back in his arms. Not yet.

  She stared at her husband. After Tina left, they’d done little talking, as Shane’s sisters had visited. This morning she hadn’t seen much of him because after Grandpa Joe had arrived at 9:00 a.m., Shane had finally left the hospital and gone home. He’d showe
red, changed, and when he’d returned a few hours later he’d swapped out his Corvette for the family sedan that was now loaded down with the flowers and plants she received during her stay.

  Dressed in his casual shorts and polo shirt, Shane had never looked sexier. But sex was not on her release paperwork. That was definitely out for a while. Besides, Lindy rationalized, how pathetic was she? She had to admit to herself that she wanted to make love to a man that, despite his professions otherwise, probably didn’t love her back. Had she really stooped so low that she’d stay with Shane under any circumstances, even now?

  Lindy took another slow step forward. There wasn’t anything wrong with her nervous system, but she wanted to make sure she didn’t fall.

  “I still think I should carry you,” Shane said.

  “I’m fine,” Lindy said. “I’m an independent woman. I want to walk on my own.”

  “I know you’re an independent woman. That’s always been one of the things I’ve admired about you, Lindy. But the doctors said not to overdo it. You need your rest. You can walk later. As it is, you’ll need physical therapy to help your muscles loosen from the impact.”

  “I know,” Lindy said. She paused at the base of the stairs. Walking was tiring, and there was no way she wanted to try the steps. She turned to her husband. “Okay, you can carry me.”

  He scooped her up into his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’ll always carry you,” he said. “You just have to let me.”

  Would he? As he carried her effortlessly up the steps to their bedroom, Lindy wondered—Had he changed? Or could she live without love?

  He tucked her into the king-size bed that they’d spent so many passionate nights in. “Let me get you some water,” he said. Lindy rested her head back on the pillows and closed her eyes. As she did, Grandpa Joe’s conversation from earlier that day slipped back into her thoughts.

  “But he told you he’d never love me,” Lindy had said.

  “He did,” Grandpa Joe said. “But I think he’s done some soul-searching since that moment. I think even before he knew about your accident he’d been thinking. Maybe he’s changed.”

  “Can Shane change? Is that possible?” she’d asked.

  “I don’t know,” Grandpa Joe had admitted. “He’s the only one who can answer that.”

  Shane returned a few minutes later with a glass of ice water. “Here you go.”

  He handed it to her, and Lindy took a sip. Ever since they’d removed her IV, she’d had to work on keeping her body hydrated. “Thanks,” she said.

  “Anytime. Can I get you anything else? Are you hungry?”

  “The hospital dinner was fine,” Lindy said. “And I did finally eat my Ho Ho’s.”

  Shane smiled, and Lindy reveled in his lopsided grin. She’d always been partial to his smile. It undid her every time. “That you finally did,” he said.

  Lindy patted the quilt. “Sit for a while?”

  Shane sat on the bed next to her. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

  “I don’t know,” Lindy admitted. “I still ache, but Shane, you said we needed to talk. Is now finally that time?”

  He gazed at her for a long moment. “It can be.”

  “Then let’s talk,” Lindy said. She placed her hand on his cheek. He’d shaved before picking her up, and his skin was smooth to her touch. Shane turned his head so that he could kiss the inside of her palm. His movement distracted her and she worked to focus. “I want you to be very honest with me.”

  “Uh-huh.” Shane kissed her palm again, the movement sending delightful prickles up her spine.

  She shifted. “Shane, I’m serious.”

  He moved his head away from her hand and turned his gaze on her. “So am I.”

  She could see that he was. “So talk,” she said.

  All sorts of emotions crossed Shane’s face in an instant. The emotions flashed so fast that Lindy had no time to comprehend them all.

  Shane reached forward and took her fingers in his. He laced his hand into hers and placed it to his lips before asking, “Do you love me?”

  A thousand and one sensations shot through Lindy as her mental debate started. “I—” she began.

  Shane lowered their linked hands and said, “I heard you that night. You told me that you loved me.”

  “It was after sex,” Lindy said. “It doesn’t count. People say all sorts of things that they don’t mean after sex.”

  He quickly masked the stricken expression that crossed his face. “So you didn’t mean it?”

  Lindy knew that this was her chance to back out. To lie. But she’d lied earlier in their relationship and she herself had just asked him to be honest. And look at what her silence about the baby had cost her. No, it was time for her to admit her feelings, to let her words be the truth, no matter what consequences might arise. With her free hand, she rubbed her temples.

  “Headache?” Shane asked, his concern evident.

  “No.” She didn’t have a headache. She had a pressure, a risk to take. She took a deep breath and then she let the words spill forth quickly. “I meant every bit of those words I said that night.”

  He leaned back slightly, studying her face. “Everyone’s said you loved me. My father said it. Tina said it. And now you’ve confirmed it. I’ve been a pretty big fool, haven’t I?”

  “You haven’t been the fool,” Lindy said. “I have. I fell for you a long time ago. I came to work for you, and then I couldn’t leave because I’d fallen in love with you. I wanted you in my life, whatever way I could get you. But you’re not the fool, Shane. I was. I let my feelings become unhealthy, and I knew I had to leave. That’s why I went to Jacobsen. I had to have perspective. You can understand that, can’t you? I couldn’t be your long-suffering PA pining away for you any longer.”

  “I can understand that,” Shane said.

  He lifted her fingers to his lips again. Lindy had the sudden remembrance of how he’d sucked each one of her fingertips until his lips had finally stopped tormenting her and instead crashed down upon hers. She tugged on her hand a bit, but Shane didn’t let go. To divert herself from the sensation, she continued to talk.

  “So then I found out I was pregnant, and knew I’d be attached to you forever. We’ve been through that conversation already, but the result was that we ended up married, had hours and days of great lovemaking, and I fell in love with you even further. And then in a moment of weakness, when I thought you were asleep, I told you how I felt.”

  There. It was all out there. Every last word. Realizing she was holding her breath, Lindy slowly exhaled.

  Shane gazed over their linked hands, hands that were still close to his lips. “And telling me how you felt is a bad thing because I didn’t say it in return, and I didn’t love you back.”

  Lindy tugged her hand again, but Shane refused to give it to her. “Well, yes.”

  He kissed their linked fingers. “I admit that your words freaked me out. Telling someone you love them brings with it all sorts of things like responsibility, trust and faith. I’ve never deserved you, Lindy. Heck, my grandfather’s made that perfectly clear more times than I can count over these past three years. When you told me you loved me, it hit me here.” He lowered their linked hands and placed them above his heart. “All of a sudden I realized that I was responsible for you. Not that I wasn’t before, but you’d just given me the most precious gift in the world and trusted me to take care of it. You’d given me your heart. And that frightened me.”

  “I know,” Lindy said. “You’ve never loved me, Shane. You’ve always been in love with a dream, with the image of some girl’s hand on the back of a bus representing the tragedy of unrequited love. It’s the romantic in you.”

  He shook his head with such a force that it startled her. “No. It’s not a romantic thing. It’s a foolish thing. It’s a protective mechanism I’ve used and perfected over the years so that I didn’t get hurt, so that I let no one hurt me. I dated women, let them
use me. And I admit, I used them right back and sent them trinkets at the end.”

  “Expensive trinkets.”

  “Perhaps. But every woman knew what the relationship was not going to be before she and I ventured into it. Sure, it made me look like a playboy because I seemed to go through women so fast, but I subconsciously found women that I knew I’d never want in my life on a permanent basis. They served one purpose. To prove to myself that I didn’t have to risk my heart. These women proved that I didn’t have to be alone, that I chose to be alone.”

  Shane paused. “I hate talking about past relationships.”

  “I was there through many of them,” Lindy reminded him.

  He looked at her earnestly. “I know. So you know that I wasn’t a male slut.”

  “I know,” Lindy said.

  “Good. That’s important to me. You walked into my life, and suddenly you became important to me. Those women, they weren’t. Maybe I did break hearts along the way, but their hearts weren’t really interested in making my heart happy. Their hearts broke at losing access to my bank account or to the status that being with Shane Jacobsen affords. Maybe that’s why I clung to that memory. That girl at camp only wanted me for me, and there have been very few women who have wanted me for just myself.”

  “I did.”

  Shane nodded. “I know. But by the time you came into my life, I was so jaded. I didn’t need a PA, but there you were and I wanted you. But not like any of those other women. I didn’t want to date you. Somehow I didn’t want to tar you with that brush. I wanted you for more than just a few weeks of mutual using. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes,” Lindy said, for it did. Shane had become her friend. He’d shared with her his innermost thoughts. He’d shared with her his journals. With her, he’d simply been Shane.

  “I guess it took some alcohol and pain pills to loosen me up enough to let my subconscious desires surface. I don’t think I let you go that night.”

  “No. You called me the love of your life and got me drunk,” Lindy said. He arched a blond eyebrow at her, and Lindy grinned as the moment lightened. “Okay, you gave me the first strawberry daiquiri. I’ll admit I walked to the bar myself a few times after that.”