Cowboys Don't Ride Unicorns

by Tara Lain

  Laurie ducked back and grabbed for his phone. Right, the phone in Grove’s hip pocket. Fucking hell.

  CHAPTER NINE

  DANNY WALKED out of the stall in the bathroom and ran straight into some big dude who smelled bad. “Excuse me.”

  “Sure, man, sure. Hey, you seen a really pretty guy with pink hair?”

  Danny frowned. That could only mean one person. “Uh, no. Why?”

  “Oh, me and my buddy are trying to find him. Real sweet set of lips, if you know what I mean.” He laughed.

  Don’t hit him. Yet. “Sounds great. Don’t think he’s in here, though.”

  The guy bent over, flashing an unappealing ass crack, and peered under all the stall doors. “Shit. Maybe he’s outside.” He started toward the door. “Thanks, buddy.” He gave him a wink. “You’re pretty damned cute yourself. If you’re lookin’ to get it on, come find me.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m here with someone.”

  “My loss. But there’s always later, right?” He laughed and hurried out the door.

  Shit! Laurie. Danny ran from the bathroom, about knocking over two intellectual-looking dudes in the hall, and stared in both directions. The Exit sign flashed. Like a bat, he ran toward it, opened the door, and looked out. Pee-yoo. Not a perfume factory.

  He glanced toward the left. A figure in light clothes pressed close to the wall. Laurie. Danny closed the door and trotted toward him. As he got close, Laurie whirled and thrust his fists forward. Danny stopped and held up his hands. “Whoa. It’s me.”

  He stepped back. “Oh thank God.”

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  “I was on my way to the bathroom when these two assholes accosted me. I thought you were gone.”

  “I was in the john. If you’d come in, I could have beaten them with my limp dick.” He grinned. “Why didn’t you call Grove? He’s still here, right?”

  “He’s got my damned phone in his pocket.” Laurie peeked around the corner, then pulled back fast. “They’re both out there, dammit.”

  “It’s okay. We’ll just walk right past them. They won’t take me on.”

  “You think? Come on, King Kong you’re not.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Lots of people have accused me of having monkey brains.”

  Laurie smiled, but he still looked kind of freaked. “You call Grove. I’ll give you his number. He’s got to be worried by now.”

  “Okay.” Danny reached for his phone.

  “Yo, Woolly. He’s over here!”

  Danny looked up to see the fat dude standing in the parking lot in direct line of sight to him and Laurie. Not good. If they get us back here, no one else can see. He grabbed Laurie’s arm and started walking, fast but not looking scared—he hoped.

  As they got closer, the big man said, “Hey, great job. You found him for me. Thanks. We’ll take you both.”

  Danny got into the front lot before the guy cut him off. Coming toward them, a thin, kind of sick-looking dude flashed his yellow teeth. “She-it, man, what have we got here?”

  Danny muttered, “Just keep walking.” Laurie’s arm tensed as the two men got closer.

  The skinny one stepped in front of Danny. Danny thrust forward with a shoulder and shoved him out of the way, still pulling Laurie.

  Suddenly, Laurie’s arm stretched in his grasp. Laurie shrieked, “Fuck! Let go of me, asshole.”

  Danny looked back. Crap, the big man had Laurie’s other arm. They were about to stretch him like a rag doll. Danny snarled, “Let go if you want to keep your balls.”

  The guy laughed. “Oh yeah? You got somebody invisible helping you?”

  “Since when am I invisible, you flaming prick?” Laurie kicked out one of those long legs and connected so hard with the fat man’s balls they should have disappeared inside his body.

  “God damn! You no-good bitch!” Fatty screamed and flailed toward Laurie, but he still fell on his butt, clutching his no-longer-precious jewels.

  A clenched hand connected with the back of Danny’s shoulder. He spun with his arm raised and slammed his fist into the thin dude’s jaw, but just barely saw the razor in the guy’s other hand coming straight toward his face. He ducked. The blade shaved off a few hairs before he brought his booted foot up into the asshole’s crotch. Strike two.

  “Danny! Watch out!”

  Shit! He spun as the big man slammed a stick of wood he must have found on the ground toward his head. Danny leaped to the side but still caught an edge and a bunch of splinters in his ear. Fuck!

  “Laurie!” That had to be Grove’s voice.

  Danny staggered back. Where did all these folks come from? Several people stood on the porch, and more were pushing out the door. Grove ran toward them. He grabbed the thin guy by his neck and dragged him to the ground, while two other cowboy types ran to help him. The big asshole started toward Danny, saw the reinforcements, dropped his slab of timber, and started running across the parking lot. Danny would have laughed at the asshole struggling against gravity—if his ear and shoulder hadn’t hurt like bloody hell.

  A cop car pulled into the parking lot, and a man in blue jumped out and grabbed the runner, dragging him back toward the group.

  Danny stood with his head hanging, breathing hard and trying not to see Laurie cradled in Grove’s arms.

  Frank came up beside Danny and put a big hand on his shoulder. “Hey, baby, I can’t let you out of my sight. What the fuck’s going on?”

  “I saw one of our ranch guests getting stalked by some perverts. I tried to rescue him.”

  Frank looked around. “The one with the pink hair?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Jesus, talk about your damsels in distress.”

  A policeman in squeaking leather walked over. He nodded toward Danny. “You the one involved in the fight?”

  Danny nodded.

  “May I see your ID?”

  Danny pulled his wallet from his pocket and handed it over.

  The cop shone his flashlight on it. “Want to tell me what happened?”

  Danny blew out his breath. “I was in the john. That big dude came in and started shooting off his mouth about some guy he and his buddy were planning to gangbang. I got from what he said that the target of their crap was a guest at the ranch I work at. I went looking for him and found him hiding out in the alley. Just about then, the big dude and his asshole friend showed up and tried to get Laurie—uh, Mr. Belmont—away from me. I took exception.” He shrugged. “I won, with help from Mr. Belmont.”

  “He sure as hell did. I’d be damaged or dead if it wasn’t for Danny.” Laurie rushed up beside the cop questioning Danny, with another policeman following him.

  “Sir, Mr. Belmont, we need to ask you some more questions.”

  Laurie waved off the cop. “Yes, yes, fine. But I don’t want anyone hassling Danny. He saved me, dammit.”

  Grove put his arm back around Laurie. “Come on, dear. They want to question the two of you separately.”

  Laurie shoved off his arm and planted his hands on his hips. “Damn it, Grove. You’re a fucking lawyer. Threaten someone!”

  Danny fought to keep a straight face.

  Grove didn’t look so happy. He flashed a scowl at Danny but said, “I’m sure no one is planning to give Mr. Boone any problem, Laurie. He clearly protected you, as I and others in this group can attest.” He leveled a narrow gaze at the cop, handed him a business card, and then walked off with the other officer of the law, leading Laurie, who kept glancing back at Danny.

  Frank looked at the card and gave Danny a wry smile. “Must be nice to have a famous lawyer in your corner.”

  “Famous?”

  “Yeah. He defends giant corporations and movie stars. He usually wins.”

  Danny grinned at the cop. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  The cop raised an eyebrow. “Okay, a few more questions.”

  Frank put a hand on his arm. “Want me to stay?”

  “No. Thanks for staying this
long. I just have to get home. Early day tomorrow.”

  Frank nodded, glanced at the cop like maybe he could steal a kiss from Danny, thought better of it, waved, and walked away.

  Okay, just settle down and comply with the law. Across the lot, Laurie still looked indignant—and Grove still looked protective. Danny sighed.

  LAURIE PACED in front of the entrance to the club, his eyes stealing toward Danny, who still sat on the bumper of the cop car answering questions. Grove had gone to pay the check before they took off for home. Home? The ranch. Maybe if I breathe deeply enough, I won’t go beat that cop over the head with a brick.

  Wonder who Danny’s hunky date is? Was. He hadn’t stayed to take care of Danny. Shit. Why does that make me happy?

  “Okay, babe, let’s go.” Grove stuck that proprietary arm around Laurie’s shoulders again.

  Laurie crossed his arms. “Not until you make sure nobody’s going to stick Danny in jail.”

  “Laurie, dammit—”

  Just then, Danny stood, wiped off the seat of his jeans, and started walking toward an old truck.

  Man, he looks so sad. Laurie tore his eyes away from the retreating figure. “Okay. We can go.” He stuck his arm through Grove’s, but that arm felt tense as iron. They walked to the Spyder in tense silence. Grove opened his door and stalked away from it before Laurie even got all the way in. Laurie gritted his teeth and closed his own damned door.

  Grove drove out of the parking lot, yanking on the steering wheel and stomping on the gas.

  Laurie glanced over. “What’d that poor steering wheel do to you?”

  “Nothing.” He spat the word between his teeth.

  So he wouldn’t be coaxed. “Okay, what did I do to offend you?” Grove acted like he was the one who’d been attacked. Laurie bit his lip to keep from saying so.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes. Seriously.”

  “You dote on that fucking cowboy like he hung the fucking moon. I didn’t bring you on vacation so you could drool over everything in pants.” He slammed his foot down, and the car leaped through the stop sign. A beat-up truck on the cross street really had the right-of-way and honked its objection, and Grove raised his hand to flip him off.

  Laurie grabbed him. “Shit, Grove, people out here carry guns in their cars.”

  “We’re in California.” He yanked his hand back.

  “Not so you’d notice.” Laurie sighed. “Slow down a little and let’s talk.”

  Grove made a humphing noise but lessened the pressure of his foot. Laurie leaned against the door and gazed at him. “I was scared shitless. The two guys—well, you saw them—and it wouldn’t have been good for me. I’d left my phone with you.”

  “Oh shit, I forgot.”

  “Right. No way to call you or anyone. I was peering around the corner of that building and trying to figure out how to get past those two assholes, when suddenly Danny showed up like a deus ex machina.”

  “What?”

  “Like a god who appears and makes everything better at the end of a Greek play. Anyway, I was so grateful, I wanted to—give him my firstborn child.”

  That got Grove’s lips to turn up a little. “Something about your reproductive life you need to tell me?”

  “Very funny. Anyway, I wasn’t going to let the police pounce all over him, because he didn’t have anyone to protect him after he put his safety on the line to protect me.”

  Grove glanced at him. “So how did he know where you were—since no phone and all?”

  “At the time I didn’t know and was way too upset to ask, but apparently one of the assholes came in the men’s room looking for me. He described a guy with pink hair, and Danny figured that must be me. He started looking and found me.”

  Grove frowned. “He could have come and found me.”

  “I believe he felt a sense of urgency—for which I’m deeply grateful.” Laurie took a breath. “I’m really glad you found out when you did and came to our rescue, or things might have been way worse.” Not entirely true, but also not a lie.

  “I was really starting to worry. When I saw people running toward the parking lot, I followed them. I was afraid I’d find your dead body.”

  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” Uh, why am I apologizing to him? He clearly thought he’d find me fucking Danny Boone, not dead on the ground. Oh well, jealousy’s not altogether bad.

  Grove patted his knee. “At least you’re okay. Let’s go home.”

  Laurie nodded. “Let’s really go home, okay? I’ll go with you in the morning. We don’t have to come back—unless you want to.”

  “Oh, why?”

  “Not having as much fun tonight as before. Besides, I just want to be with you.” Also not altogether true, but it ought to be.

  “Really? Okay, dear, we’ll talk about it.”

  Just get me the fuck out of here before I screw over my life for good.

  DANNY PULLED the truck into the dirt parking space outside the bunkhouse. What a pissant evening following a pissy day. Go play Lancelot and watch Guinevere waltz off with King Arthur. Or maybe I’m Arthur and Grove’s Lancelot—shit, I don’t know. For sure, his face hurt, his ribs hurt, his head hurt. Add a little heart action to that. Stupid ass.

  He dragged himself from the truck cab and stumbled, then grabbed the old door and produced a squeak that might have raised vampires. Great. Carefully he closed the door behind him and hobbled toward the side door of the bunkhouse. Bed.

  A big body appeared around the corner of the building and Danny jumped back, gripping his hands into fists.

  “Whoa, cowboy. It’s me.” Rand held up a hand.

  “Damn, sorry.” He leaned against the siding. Hard to stay upright.

  Rand peered at his face. “What the hell happened to you?”

  Danny blew a giant breath that rustled the hair on his forehead. “I got in a fight with two dudes at Larry’s. That’s why I’m so damned late. I had to answer a bunch of police questions.”

  “Police? Hell, this sounds serious.” Rand peered into the dark, quiet surrounding them. “Want to come have some hot chocolate and tell us what happened?”

  “Weirdly, hot chocolate sounds better than anything.”

  “Let’s go before we wake the bunkhouse. Manolo stayed tonight, and a couple other hands too.”

  Danny nodded and dragged himself across the open space to the ranch house with Rand. Kai sat in a rocking chair staring at the sky with eyes as dark as the night. “Evenin’.”

  Danny staggered up the two steps to the porch.

  Kai jumped up. “Hell, man, you better sit down before you fall down.”

  Danny sat heavily in the rocker.

  “What happened?”

  Rand held up a hand. “Don’t say anything until I get us some hot chocolate with marshmallows.” He sauntered inside in that never-in-a-hurry way of his.

  Kai watched him go and then stared at Danny. “You look like you could use a shot of bourbon instead of chocolate.”

  “Nope. Chocolate sounds best.”

  Rand walked back out of the house carrying mugs with gooey whiteness on top. He handed Danny and Kai their cups and kept one of his own. He raised it. “To fighting for the right.” He sipped and ended up with a marshmallow mustache that made Kai chuckle until Rand licked it off. That made Kai sigh.

  Danny started to get up. “Here’s your chair back.”

  Rand pushed him gently on the shoulder. “I’m fine.” He sat on the step, leaned against the porch posts, and stretched those long legs out in front of him. “So shoot.”

  “Did you know that our guests, Grove and Laurie, were going to Larry’s tonight?”

  Kai nodded. “Yep. We sent them.”

  “Yeah, well, I saw them from a distance. I was getting a drink with Frank. Anyway, I went to the john and this half-drunk dude comes in looking for a guy with pink hair and clearly with no good on his mind. Seems he and a buddy had some ugly designs on our pretty guest. I went looking for
Laurie, found him hiding outside, and ended up fighting those two assholes.” He sipped and licked. “Finally, the cops showed and I had to answer a fuckload of questions, but they let me go.”

  Kai chuckled. “I’d call that going above and beyond for a guest.”

  “Where was Grove all the time you were fighting?” Rand frowned.

  “He came running out with the crowd. Laurie was headed to the men’s room when he got stopped by asshole number one. He couldn’t call Grove since he left his cell phone somewhere.”

  “You okay?”

  “Sore in a few places. Nothin’ a bull hasn’t done to me and worse.”

  “Need a doc?”

  “Nope.”

  “Where’s the siren now?” Kai quirked a lip-corner smile.

  Danny shook his head. Wish I didn’t know. “He came back here with Grove, I think. And he gave as good as he got. Shit, he about kicked the balls off one of the guys.”

  Kai smiled. “He’s got hidden depths, that one.”

  Don’t want to think about that. Danny sipped his chocolate. “Man, this is freakin’ good.”

  “Kai’s old family recipe.” Rand gave Kai a fond smile.

  “Hawaiian chocolate.” Danny sipped again. “Guess I better get some sleep or you’ll be down one hand tomorrow.”

  Rand took his last swallow of chocolate. “Feel free to sleep in—all the way to six.”

  Danny laughed, left his cup on the porch, and hobbled back to the bunkhouse. He rinsed the stink of the assholes off him quickly, stripped in his room, and lay on his bed, letting the air from the window cool his wounds. Why the hell does Laurie make me so crazy? Jesus, I’m around men all the time—every size, shape, and color. Okay, he’s a unique combination of twink-pretty with a dominant streak and a healthy dose of brains.

  He barked a laugh.

  Shit, I just described my dream come true and a combo as rare as a unicorn.