Cards in the Cloak

by Jeremy Bursey

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  Author’s Note

  Thank you for downloading Cards in the Cloak. I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked the story or got something valuable out of it, please leave a review for it on your preferred retailer’s website, and tell others what you thought about it, and let me know what you liked (or didn’t like). I appreciate all feedback and support from readers. Thank you.

  A Brief History: “Cards in the Cloak” was the last short story I wrote in 1999, making it the last entry into my twentieth century collection. It was also the first story since my early high school years that I didn’t write for a class. But the version I wrote back then is not exactly the version you just read. The original version took place entirely in Norman’s 100th year, was full of incidental moments that padded the story, but didn’t really add much to it, and had an entirely different motivation (which admittedly still leaves its footprints behind, because I hate throwing anything away completely, but doesn’t dominate the source of conflict anymore) about him wanting to live through three separate centuries. It was vaguer with character names. Norman was ornerier. The conflict was quieter. It was basically a story that I was proud of in late 1999, but not so much in 2015. When I went back to view it for story potential, I realized it needed a new angle. So, that’s what you have now. That meant putting his life and his family front and center, and giving him a McGuffin to chase. It’s much longer than I had anticipated it getting, but at least now Norman has a full story worthy of the life he’s lived.

  I had five sources of inspiration for writing this. First off, at the time, the holidays were coming (much as they are as I type this), and I had plenty of stories I wrote for my college courses filed in a binder, and I thought the collection would’ve been something nice to give to my mom for Christmas. But I was thinking about adding one more story to it before finalizing it, so I thought about my second source of inspiration, a competition with the Grim Reaper to see if his competitor would be allowed to come back to life, as portrayed in the movie Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. The version of Death in that movie was also what inspired this version’s laid-back persona, as opposed to his iconic “grimness,” which is prevalent everywhere else. Thirdly, I like the idea of telling stories with mythical and spiritual overtones to make a point clearer, and I thought this was a great canvas to develop the theme of earthly goals paling in comparison to heavenly goals (which explains the ending). Fourthly, I wanted to include a nod to a story I had either seen in a movie or heard about in the news about an old man (or was it two old men) riding cross-country in a lawnmower to get to his family. I don’t remember the specifics anymore, but the part where Norman and the groundskeeper skip town on a lawnmower was not an original thought, as much as I’d like to claim it. Lastly, and perhaps the true firstly, when I lived in Orlando, I used to pass a nursing home on my way to work, and that nursing home was right next to a graveyard. I thought how depressing, yet how ironic. So, I decided to write a story about an old man who had to wake up every day to the sight of a graveyard as a sentiment to the awkwardness I thought that situation must’ve offered the residents. I finished “Cards in the Cloak” in December 1999, and included it in my short story collection Life Under Construction: The Collection of Junk, Volume 2 in March 2005, along with other short stories “Amusement,” (October 1999) “Shade of Blue,” (November 1999) “Alternative Shade of Blue,” (December 1999) “Zipwood Studios,” (January 2000) “Lightstorm,” (April 2000) and “Superheroes Anonymous” (June 2000).

  Regarding the new additions, which includes the entire first half of the story, I admit that it’s different tonally from the remaining pieces of the story (i.e. the second half). This comes from the shift in direction I decided the story needed in order to work. In its original form, “Cards in the Cloak” was simply too weak to work for the public, so I needed to give Norman a new goal, a new source of conflict (family), and a new background to keep things moving toward a climax that makes sense. Because the second half feels like a frozen bubble compared to the epic lifespan of the first half, it may feel like it’s oddly paced. But, we can treat that as its own theme—life moves too fast until we’re invalid and want it to end; then it moves too slowly.

  Regarding my choice of scenes to fill in this new section, it was all pretty random if I’m being honest. The only thing I knew for sure going into the rewrite was that Norman was going to have to avoid death a few times on his journey to old manhood. I also knew the first sequence would take place in a bunker during World War I. Everything else was just about getting him to the nursing home in one piece.

  Regarding the Grim Reaper as an antagonist, I think he’s the only antagonist that really could endure the eighty years it takes for Norman to start and finish his mission. Even in the old version, when Norman’s motivation was strictly about seeing the year 2000, no one could really antagonize his goal better than a bus driver for death who needs to keep to his strict schedule. So, the Reaper was always going to be Norman’s life’s nemesis, even though the nature of death and decay is not really much of an antagonist. Just seems worse when someone’s in charge of it. But, I didn’t want him to be this dark body of brooding emotion. I wanted him to be more like an angel disguised as a figure of myth.

  Regarding the afterlife and any religious overtones, I was trying to avoid getting too deep here. The original version stepped over that line, and I was fine with that for myself. But I didn’t want it taking over the story, or interrupting it, especially if other people were going to read it, so I tried to handle the issues regarding death and the afterlife in as basic of a way as I could without undercutting the idea that death is not the end, but the beginning of life’s Stage 3, which begins with conception and fetal growth (Stage 1), continues through a tunnel of light into birth and the only life any of us know right now (Stage 2), and then continues through a tunnel of light into our eternal destination that we all must know and keep eventually (Stage 3). I wanted some picture of that Stage 3 journey present in Norman’s story without getting into the religious philosophy of where he may end up and why, even though I do think our spiritual choices have everything to do with our spiritual destinations, just as our physical choices have everything to do with our physical destinations. Whether the story shows it or not, we can assume that Norman makes a choice at some point in his life. But thanks to the sensitive nature of religious opinion, it would be near impossible to show that choice without either sounding preachy or sparking controversy, just as showing him reaching his spiritual destination would also lend a hand to that issue. So, I chose to leave all of that out. Doesn’t mean I didn’t think long and hard about acknowledging faith’s role in determining one’s afterlife. I figure there are plenty of alternative sources for readers to study if they want to know how to choose one’s afterlife than this short novel. But that’s why I glossed over that part of his story. Wasn’t due to ignorance.

  Lastly, “Cards in the Cloak” was the first time I wrote the Grim Reaper as a character, but not the first time I’d considered using him in a story. I had an idea for a movie that starred him as the main character (not going to divulge the details here in case I decide to run with it someday) in a story that loosely paralleled the story told in Jerry Maguire. At some point, maybe as much as a decade later, I decided to turn the idea into a book called Figments of the Imagination, and I got as far as writing the prologue and first chapter. As a bonus for picking up this book (especially if you’ve gotten it after its free period ends), I’m going to include that chapter and prologue at the end of this e-book. It’s not part of this story, but feel free to treat it like it is, if you want, since they are somewhat part of the same world. I may go back and finish that story someday soon, if there’s a demand for it. Let me know if you want more of it. (As I reread it for the first time in many years, I’m starting to think I should revisit it, so maybe….)

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