Words from a Wanderer (Notes and Love Poems)
Page 2
Find peace in silence.
Love,
Self
#anote2self
Dear Self,
I need you to learn how to forgive the ones who have wronged you. You say you do, you may even smile and wave but deep down you hoard hurt and distaste. It’s important that you start to see the value of forgiveness. Not just for the sake of others but for your own. Being forgiving to those who you feel are “unworthy” does not make you weak. The ability to do so speaks to your heart and your character. Be wise and exude kindness despite if you feel as though someone is deserving or not. Your pride is bigger than you sometimes but that alone will continue to keep you guarded and unsatisfied. You cannot expect to be forgiven if you’re not willing to have a yielding love toward your neighbor.
Love,
Self
One day you will have to be OK with the fact that they are never coming back.
There will come a time that you will stop counting the seconds, minutes, hours and days of their return.
You won’t wait by the phone forever knowing that it’s not going to ring and be the person you’re longing for.
Eventually jumping when your phone buzzes with a text, that you want to be from them, will be a thing of the past—trust me, missing them will pass.
The bad memories may even fade to black eventually.
One day you will not hold a grudge for them bruising your heart and making you cry.
You will laugh at the little stupid lies they told you when trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
There will come a time when you don’t look at the relationship as a regret but as a lesson.
You will stop holding them accountable for your misery and hurt and start smiling again.
The beauty in all the hurt is the resilience of the heart—trust me, you will love again.
There is no layaway in love.
You cannot beg and plead a person to give you what’s rightfully theirs; especially if they aren’t willing to share. If a man isn’t ready to love you, let him be.
If a woman isn’t prepared to give you her all, let her go.
Despite how much you think you want or need someone else, you don’t.
Prepare yourself so that when the right one comes along you’re ready and able to love them with your whole heart and not just pieces of it.
Comfort Zone
I seek refuge in you like I do my blanket on cold winter nights and even though you keep me warm I still haven’t a clue what love is like. We say it like we mean it but that’s a learned behavior and both of us know we can’t get too comfortable with being one another’s savior.
Practice makes “perfect” but love makes it worth it.
Descend
He must’ve seen it falling...
Thank God for him. He didn’t let it hit the ground. Instead he gently scooped it up and placed it back into my chest.
I guess I lost it in the midst of all the heartache...
I’m wondering if it fled because of the fear of breaking.
He wouldn’t let it run away, unless it was with him.
Top 10
You don’t have to apologize for how you feel.
Be true to who you are and honest to others.
If you are leading people on then it’s time to let them go, be fair to the hearts you encounter.
Commit if you can and love if you want.
Do not make promises that you aren’t willing to keep.
All intentions aren’t good ones. Make sure you not only mean well but that you’re doing well.
Think before you speak, it’s OK to talk to yourself first.
If you’re not really ready to commit don’t force it.
Try not to run from your fears. Life teaches lessons, pay attention.
Let Me
Let me see you, come here.
Let me hold your hand and marvel at one of God’s greatest creations.
I’m trying not to be biased because I love you but you’re beautiful and I can’t help but stare.
Take your time with me.
I am in no rush to pass the seconds that we spend because they turn into the minutes in which are ours to wallow in.
Can you see me?
My goose bumps will lead the way. Close your eyes and enjoy this selfish pride that only surrenders selfless to you.
Let me know you.
I will kneel humbly at your feet so that you know you can walk with me.
A king needs his queen, neither of which is superior.
Equally yoked — your rib, my backbone.
You exhale as I inhale the greatness you choose to share
with me.
Light
A love so bright that it makes the sun and stars envy us.
One in the same
I know why they love him because I once loved him too.
To them he is their sunshine, with me, well; he just leaves me an awkward shade of blue.
They gawk at his charisma and charming good looks
but to me he is a liar, a thief and a crook.
I know they think his love will never ever end
but when they cause him stress, he blindly flees to me again.
His colors are so radiant but his heart follows his wandering eyes—
The trophies aren’t enough for him if the prize doesn’t shine.
His spirit is polyamorous and that is something he cannot hide...
One won’t suffice especially when he’s done and had his fun.
They might be his moon today but tomorrow I’ll be his sun.
Past Pleasures
You used to bury your head near my clavicle and inhale—I made sure I smelled as sweet as sugar just for you.
I often wonder if you long for my hands on the back of your neck or my fingertips dancing with your earlobe.
I miss you falling asleep in my lap. I could look at you all day.
That closeness made me care so much more.
Your faux love was my favorite drug and now these occasional withdrawals suck.
I think about you often but not enough to text and I wonder about your happiness but not enough to call and check.
Trying to force myself to remember has now become harder than encouraging my mind to forget.
Breathtaking
It doesn’t matter that he loves me hard enough to hurt me.
The strength of his grasp refuses to loosen and the truth is, I rather him not let me go.
He’s the yes to my answers and the veins in which my blood
flows freely.
Memorized by those coffee brown eyes; his skin color reminds me of the sun’s glow.
Sweet to the taste, he enables my lungs to inhale his naturally fragrant scent of sexy.
His presence is a blessing that blesses me with more than just love but pure heaven sent passion and admiration for a soul as beautiful as his.
I’m dreaming of the day that I can have his last name and use these hips to bear the seeds that he plants.
The slightest glance of him gives me chills and to know that he adores me more than more is mind boggling, heart stopping and wonderful.
It doesn’t matter that he loves me hard enough to hurt me because he won’t.
The strength of his grasp tightens firmly around my torso as we lay there pacing one another’s breath with our bare chests—he breathes and I follow, matching his heart rate to a T.
I believe in love now, it’s breathtaking, unmistakably amazing
and soothing.
My dreams came true when I met you.
Enthralled
His intelligence is what wooed her in
.
How he took interest in her art and not just her words.
How he memorized her story and could tell it with his mouth closed. Hand in hers without a sound escaping his vocal cords; it was that kind of connection.
He’s earned her memory so now she considers his feelings, remembers his actions and appreciates his effort.
She can tell he’s got that good brain and she loves his
beautiful mind.
Treasure Torture
This isn’t infatuation for me.
I am not sure what it is for him but I will not judge his heart--either way, either or.
These feelings aren’t fleeting; they are steady and even.
Something that I have never experienced when engulfed in the lust of others.
He encourages my thought process; he turns me up and on.
I am pleased to say that he just might even enhance my ability to see love clearly.
Miles apart but I don’t think light-years could keep me away. He does laps within my memory and I’d prefer if he’d stay.
My heart wants him now or never but that’s because she’s new to this.
I’ll treasure him although it tortures her to fathom someone else getting her first kiss.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt us; it’s meant to heal. You are worthy of the real thing. Find that mutual respect and adoration will follow suit.
Sometimes it’s not the physical person that I miss but
the energy we shared…
Dear Future Lover,
I’d like to meet you one day.
I often wonder what it would feel like to lay with you, to inhale your comfort and intertwine in the happiness of our silence. Maybe I’ll get to kiss you and count the lines in your palm or miss you until I can’t take anymore of you being gone. I hope you think about me and wonder where I am. I’d love to meet you one day but until then here I stand.
Potentially Yours,
Self
#anote2self
Dear Self,
If you ask and get no answer sometimes the silence that bounces back is the loudest truth. Be appreciative and open hearted to any stillness you receive. Everything isn’t meant to be yours and everyone isn’t worthy enough to hold a place in your space.
Quiet is Good,
Self
Dear Self,
Like the flowers in spring, I love how you always come back to life.
No matter the struggle you make it through. What a journey. What a blessing.
Grown Beautifully,
Self
I’ve been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. I admire my heart for that.
Believe in something greater than yourself.
Love a little harder.
Learn something different.
Let your feelings be.
Embrace the changes.
Cry when you want to.
Sob when you have to.
Share a smile with a stranger.
Laugh until your tummy hurts and cheeks ache.
Enjoy the moments of life even if they hurt.
Allow your heart to mend.
Be open to trusting again.
Your happiness is in your hands.
The Lost Art
C shaped, fingers linked, hearts humming from the rhythm of each beat.
Hair tousled, legs linked, lips lingering on the back of my neck.
Comforter half on, our bodies half hot.
The lost art of cuddling has me longing to paint a mural of
this moment.
Staying broken never works because you will continue to
cut yourself.
I know what it feels like to be shattered but I am also familiar with the amazing sensation of being pieced back together.
Do not beat yourself up; you are indeed allowed to fail
before succeeding.
I am not a fan of insects
but the butterflies he leaves behind
are more than welcomed to stay inside
and nestle in the pits of my belly.
Love without peace will leave you with nothing but chaos.
A peaceful love cannot exist without balance and respect. Expect nothing and your spirit will accept all of the goodness that’s meant for you in this life.
When you meet your match in someone, even if it’s not meant to be a romantic connection, keep them close. Everyone is not destined to be a part of your everyday but the ones who are should be cherished and aware of their place in your life.
Be yourself wholeheartedly.
Speak the truth always.
Keep your word and back what you say with actions.
Give love a chance and don’t expect perfection because you won’t get it. Understand that there will be mistakes. Know what to hold onto and what to let go.
Don’t bring tons of baggage to new spaces and experiences. Develop meaningful relationships with people you know are willing to match your effort. Everyone is not out to hurt you. Don’t miss out on a beautiful thing because you’re insecure. He isn’t him and she isn’t her. Allow people to prove to you that they are in it for the long run.
Vow
I sit and watch him closely.
I have a feeling that he thinks I am weird but that’s OK.
His movements I have memorized and his smile warms my soul from the soles of my Chuck Taylors.
The warm sensation races up, up and away—past the heart that I love him with.
He’s amazing.
I wish I could part my lips to speak but most moments I cannot.
He kisses me when he knows that love has got my tongue.
His beauty leaves me muted and all I can do is stare at the one man who deserves more than my left hand.
Pouring Peace
I had to learn to embrace the rain.
I needed to realize that cloudy days were sometimes more
than alright.
Crying in the shower is where I felt most sane, most safe.
The scorching hot water left welts on my brown skin but at least the dirty tears were given a place to be washed away.
I was ashamed and hurting for so long.
Hiding was my only option when the sunshine had taken heed to the horizon.
I am OK now.
The sunlight isn’t the only thing that makes me happy anymore now that I can endure my storms.