Heart Song

by Samantha LaFantasie

Pure energy? How in the great Netherworld are we to defeat pure energy?

  “Tobias,” Jiren said, “eager to die?”

  “My death is only the beginning for some. For others, it marks their end.”

  “Speaking in riddles, old friend?” Jiren asked with a sadistic smile on his face.

  “I'm surprised you can even say the word without choking on it,” Tobias said.

  “Well, I can understand why it would surprise you,” Jiren retorted.

  “Enough of this talk, let's be done with this.”

  “First, give me the girl.”

  “She's not here. She took off this morning, looking for you.” He let his words slow towards the end to indicate a suspicion. “Did she not find you? Another game of yours?”

  “She didn't find me, I assure you. I would be too happy to be rid of her and that filth she's carrying. Abomination. Ancients shouldn’t be mixing blood with humans,” Jiren hissed.

  “You were human once, remember?”

  “Bah! I was Wizard, better than human. Higher.” Jiren lifted his chin in the air.

  “And yet you'll never cease to stoop to new lows,” Tobias noted.

  He shrugged nonchalantly. “She's strikingly familiar to someone you and I once knew, isn't she?”

  “I have no idea what you are referring to,” Tobias said.

  “Your wife is who I was referring to. Relena bares an unnatural resemblance, don't you think?”

  I sucked in my breath. That was why he held on to me. He was protecting me. I couldn't help feeling flattered and saddened at the same time. My face reminded him. I couldn't imagine how at that moment.

  “She does bare my love's likeness, yes. But she is not my love. You saw to that.” There was a slight growl from Tobias on the last few words.

  “Still pointing the finger…” It was more a statement than a question. “Well, I guess you won't have to suffer for much longer. You'll be joining them soon enough.”

  I ducked back behind the tree and pressed myself against it as far as I could, then waited. The sound of metal clanked together with shuffling feet. Dirt kicked up, pelting the trees. Exchanges were made. Then the sound of a grunt from Tobias made silence fall.

  I peeked from around the tree. Jiren had used his robe to clean off his sword and kicked Tobias's lifeless body. He tapped the tip of his sword against the toe of his boot. “You can come out, Relena. I could smell your stink from across the field.”

  I stood up slowly and stepped cautiously from around the tree. As hideously frightening as he was, his smile set me on edge. “I suppose we shall see whose cockiness will win out today, now won't we?” I asked.

  “Tell me, how's Marren holding up?”

  “You would know better than I.”

  “Would I?” There was far too much intrigue in his voice. Too much happiness. Like he thought he already won.

  I held up my sword towards him. “You will pay for my suffering.”

  He laughed. It sounded like static from a lightning storm. “Your facade will fade. You’re no match for me.”

  “Oh, you are right, there,” I said. “Because, I will defeat you!” I ran forward as he sidestepped. I halted, immediately swinging my sword towards him. He defrayed my attack.

  “I'm going to enjoy tormenting you to death!” Jiren's words were full of promise.

  “How original,” I retorted and attacked again.

  “I thought so. Just imagine it, if you will.” He stepped slowly around me, deflecting each attack I sent towards him. “I torture you, I become you, and I defeat you by killing Marren, disposing of both of your worthless bodies, then taking on your essence under the guise of Marren's orders, keeping the people here under false claims of returning home. By the time they find out the truth, it will be too late.”

  “Assuming you would defeat me, how would you go about keeping up my appearance?”

  He stepped forward quicker than I had time to react, grabbing me by my throat. I dropped my sword. The thud was barely heard. Jiren squeezed so hard I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air as I looked into his eyes. He explained, “Very easily, I've already absorbed part of your essence.” He shifted and released me.

  I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I struggled to stand and grab a hold onto my sword. By the time I could breathe enough to fight, I was staring at myself. He smiled a reflection of my own.

  “You see, you failed to think things through. You should have known better than that. And now, it's led to your ultimate demise. I've absorbed everything about you in mere seconds, even your terrifying fear of your own image in your poor mate's eyes.”

  I used Jiren's gloating to think through how I could get him to drop his guard enough to defeat him. I had to make him crack somehow. It couldn't be that hard, he did just fight Tobias. He called him friend. That had to have done something to him.

  Then it came to me.

  “You're wrong!” I said.

  “Am I now?” His teasing tone grated upon my nerves more than ever. I had to work to control my composure.

  Taking in a deep breath, I said, “Yes.”

  “Well, isn't that interesting,” he said, again in my voice.

  “It wasn't my image that terrified me.” I admit that I was reaching, but I thought this would buy me some time.

  “Oh? Then, pray tell, what was it?”

  “You wouldn't understand. It's an issue only someone who was once mortal would understand,” I said.

  “Ah, I see.”

  “Ha! You see nothing. In fact, you are the one that is so blinded by your fears and your own image. Why else would you feel like you had to steal everyone else's?”

  I saw a crack in his image. I was making headway...I thought.

  “I'm the blind one?” He dramatically laid a hand over his chest.

  “Everyone can see it, except for you,” I continued.

  “You really have no idea what you are talking about.” He spoke to me like I was a child that he had run out of patience for.

  “I don't, huh? Then why get defensive?” It was my turn to be sarcastic. He stood as still as me, mirroring my image except that his lips were pressed firmly together where mine were parted and relaxed. “Too close to the truth for you to handle?”

  “You will pay for your folly!” He charged at me, sword aimed at my heart.

  I dodged his attack quickly. He kicked the back of my knees, forcing them to give out on me. I fell to the ground, landing hard on a rock. I knew he was bracing for the final blow. I grabbed a handful of dirt and thrust it into his face. He staggered back a few steps, crying out in pain and frustration. I stood and went to attack.

  Jiren quickly recovered, blocking my approach and each attempt I took. Then he caught my arm and took his hand in a downward motion across the width. A searing pain shot through my arm. I cried out, dropping my sword. A dagger shone in his other hand, used to cut my sword arm and prevent me from being able to fight. I looked at the deep gash and watched as blood poured out. The wound started to heal, but I was bleeding too fast to keep it up for long.

  He kicked me in the stomach; I fell back onto the ground. My elbows, scraped by the dirt and rock, stung badly. Jiren approached, still in my image and held the point of the sword to my throat, nicking my skin. It made me remember when Marren and I fought, when his sword kissed my neck. The cut stung just as badly, but that one was a sweeter pain to endure.

  I watched as the lips of my likeness curved up slightly at the corners and stared at me with cold eyes—colder than what could belong to me.

  “Having second thoughts, coward?” I snapped.

  “You either have a lot of courage to mouth off, considering I’m the one with the sword, or you're a lot more stupid than I originally thought. Humans have no place in this world and should be killed, not mated with! That abomination within you will suffocate to death as you take your final breath, which will be as soon as you watch all your friends fall.

  “You seem to think that you are
winning,” I said and did my best to chuckle believably.

  “I know I am,” he gloated.

  “How can you be so sure?” I asked.

  “Bah! Enough with this! I tire of your mind games!”

  “Why does torturing me give you so much satisfaction?” I stood up slowly with my hands in the air.

  “This is why,” he approached me and placed the blade of his sword against my neck, “the fear that plays in your eyes!”

  A loud growl filled the air. Jiren was flung, from standing in front of me, to the ground.

  Run to the rest of the group, now! Marren's voice sounded like a miracle in my head.

  No! I struggled to breathe through Marren fighting Jiren in my form. I was frozen with fear and filled with incredible joy to see him awake. My heart lobbed in my chest and my head felt light. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe.

  Relena, do it! He commanded loudly.

  I...can't... Before I could say, or do, anything else, the world tilted in front of me. As I hit the ground, blackness took over.

  22

  Saying Goodbye

  It’s a strange sensation, fainting. It feels like tumbling through darkness, permanently falling. I never felt the ground greet my body in the hard and painful thud that I knew was coming. I never felt the painful pricks of the pointed rocks that surely jabbed into my skin. There’s just a sense of floating in air, drifting weightlessly down.

  A loud scream pierced my ears and soul. The only sound that came to me. It sounded as though it came from a distance, but the darkness was too thick to see through, like a blanket that had been placed over my head and blotted out all light. Then, the sound faded, echoing listlessly into the dark.

  Slowly, things came back to me. Sensations. Things like the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. The smell of dirt and wood. The crisp smell of grass and the tangy sent of leather. And him…Marren. The woodsy smell of his body was near.

  My eyes were sealed shut. I forced them apart, desperate to see him, as I remembered my overwhelming fear of him fighting Jiren in my form. At first, things were blurred together, as if being viewed from underwater. But then focus came to me with each blink, and the sight of Marren crouching at my side, his eyes full of worry. The baby flipped inside me, my stomach growled its reminder that I hadn't eaten in quite some time, and my head spun with the dizziness that still clung to my body.

  “Marren!” I breathed through the dizziness and sat up as quickly as I could, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and tucking my nose into his neck. “You're alright!”

  “Relena,” he whispered into my hair, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

  “I thought I would never see you awake again.” My voice cracked, but I didn't care.

  Shh, uwoduhi. Shh. I'm here. I'm here. His voice spoke to my mind as his body trembled.

  Tears spilled down my face as I pulled away from him. I poured out everything inside me that I had bottled up, kept safe until I could see him again. “I'm so sorry for everything, for being stubborn, for not listening, for being jealous and selfish, and not—”

  Marren stopped my downpour of emotional babble by placing both hands on either side of my face and forcing me to look at him. “Shh. It's okay. Gvgeyu.” His lips pressed firmly into my forehead, burning my skin with the heat that I thought I’d lost forever.

  “You don't understand, Marren, I—”

  “I don't need an apology or a reason for your behavior. I should have taken the time to explain things better to you. I am the one that should be sorry. I'm the one that thought pushing you away or keeping you at a distance would keep you safe. And it seems that I've only done things to hurt you worse.”

  I was forced to pause, feeling the sense of fear rising within him. “What do you mean?” There was something he wasn't telling me.

  “Relena, Danst was hurt badly. You should go see him while he's still clinging to this world.”

  My breath escaped me and failed to return. My lungs contracted, restricting the air from entering. My best friend, the one who helped me through all of those horrible nights after finding me in the woods, the one who taught me how to fight and sent my life in a chaotic tumble when I thought he betrayed me, and it was to save himself from the pain and torment that would kill him. My friend. My closest, dearest friend. No one could ever come close to him in my heart, not even Marren. Though Marren had my heart, there would always be a space in there no one else could touch, besides Danst.

  Danst was my only real family. He was all I had.

  My eyes began to burn as tears stung them, yet they didn't seem content to fall. I sat suspended in guilt and disbelief. No, he can't die. He can't. Can't you save him? Can't the elves?

  Marren's eyes darkened. My heart sank further. He was injured protecting you, and the elves. There's nothing they can do. I'm so sorry. We need to go before we're too late.

  It made no sense to me. How can he die? How did Marren know? He stood up and held his hand out to help me up. I stood, deep in my thoughts. So deep I felt the kink of the muscles in my forehead.

  I knew you were there, being protected by Tobias. I didn't think he would betray me to get to Jiren. I woke and fought my way there. It was when I was on my way that I watched Danst get stabbed by Jiren.

  I tried to make sense of what Marren was explaining to me. He knew before he found me? We started walking as Marren continued to explain.

  I stopped to help him, knowing how much he means to you. But had I known what Tobias was up to...

  I don't blame Tobias. I understood. Given the circumstances, I may have done the same thing. I'm not sure if my defending him helped Marren. Though, he gave a gentle squeeze to my hand, continuing out of the trees and into the tall grassy field, now covered with blood, acrid smelling green ooze that steamed, and masses of bodies strewn all about. All the blood. The bodies...

  Marren pulled me into him and stopped walking. I wasn't sure of all this being worth it. People lost their lives. Because of me. Don't think about them. His thoughts whispered in my head. You're safe and that is what's important. These people knew what they were doing.

  I nodded and pulled away from him. He gazed into my eyes as he rubbed my arms gently up and down. Filling me with his warmth—warmth I missed so much. His eyes smiled at me once more then we turned towards the edge of the trees, to the boundaries of the elves.

  ***

  Two tall elves, dressed in white robes, stood at the entrance between two trees. They lowered their heads in respect and allowed us through without a word. My heart palpitated anxiously. I held my breath waiting for them to tell Marren that he was the only one allowed to pass. But none stopped me. As soon as we were through, I couldn't help but focus on the center of what took up my vision.

  The ground was carved out hollow, tapering down to a level platform. Trees arched above in a surrounding protective barrier. In the center, stood dwarves, elves, and werewolves. They stood solemnly with their heads bowed. Their arms were slack at their sides or crossed at the wrists in front of them. My heart picked up in pace. Are we too late?

  Marren didn't answer. He continued leading me, instead, towards the center where I knew Danst laid. Taking his last few numbered breaths. How I had clung to the hope that he held on long enough for me to make it to his side to say one last goodbye. But the silence was too thick. Not even the breathing of the races that took up the center of the elves home broke through the thick air.

  I felt Marren release my hand and my body take over, gently pushing through those standing around to find the one that I needed to see, one final time.

  I nearly collapsed as the base of the bed he laid upon came into view. It was covered in white cloth that shimmered with a pale effervescence. It had a green border of ivy and leaves that delicately wove along the edge. My eyes slowly moved up to Danst's feet, covered in smooth layers of light gray cloth that looked as soft as flower petals. A white robe with silver trim stretched to his mid-calf, bound at his waist with a
silver clasp adorned with pearls.

  His hands were resting on his stomach, one on top of the other. He looked like he was sleeping. His jaw was relaxed and smooth, the battle long gone from his face. His green eyes hidden beyond the lids that made his eyebrows look more pronounced. And above them, a silver band encircled his forehead with his stringy brown hair woven through.

  My heart took on the weight of what it already knew. Danst was gone. I was too late. I approached his side, resting my hand on his, the warmth gone from his pale skin. I slapped a tear that fell down my cheek. My heart broke into so many pieces. There was a part of it that was going to forever miss his presence. Miss his laughter and the warmth in his smile. The way he showed patience when he first taught me to fight, the care and protection he gave me when he saved me that night so many years ago. It didn't seem fair that he should have given his life.

  A movement caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Joe'n approached, stopping at Danst's head. She peered down at him, the corners of her lips turned down. It caused me to question her sadness for his loss of life. Her eyes rose to mine and as if she knew my thoughts she said, “Danst was my grandson.”

  Her words held no disgrace, no hate. I almost expected a murmur of shock through the crowd. How had I not known this? How could I have possibly been the last to know?

  “As it is custom with my people, Danst will be sent to his next life in our tradition. He meant a lot to you as you did him. It seemed only fair that you received a chance to send him on his final journey.”

  I stared for a long moment, processing her words. She spoke them with grace and calm, though clearly she had been torn about losing her grandson. The whites of her eyes were red. Even the lower lid was puffy, as though she had been crying until she approached. Realizing that she was waiting for a response, I numbly nodded my head. I removed my hand from Danst's and felt that a part of me was leaving with him.

  “Relena, I need you to follow me, alone. This is a private ceremony. You may join your friends after the send-off.”

  I nodded and glanced towards Marren, who was at the back of the crowd. It's okay. I'll be waiting for you.