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O Come, All Ye Sinners

Page 20

by Amo Jones


  Granted I was talking about how I murdered someone in cold blood, but still.

  The night went on like that. Easy. Right.

  Like what had happened today had jolted something important into place. I should’ve felt bad. Shaken. But I had been feeling bad for years. Every step jostled my broken pieces.

  So that night, and the ones after—always ending with Cain inside me—I was broken in a different way. Not fixed. People like me could never be fixed. But broken in a way I could live with. Make a life around.

  Hence the rucksack.

  And me deciding to make the move to Amber, despite Macy’s tears. Though we were planning on splitting our time between the two clubs since Hansen would need the numbers. We were not staying in my shitty apartment.

  We, Cain and I, after two weeks, were looking for another.

  I had plenty of money to do it with since I lived cheap and was good with numbers. I’d never gotten myself in a better place because I hadn’t wanted better. I’d wanted to live in a crappy place because I felt like a crappy person.

  Cain jerked me into the presence. “Your emotional baggage doesn’t weigh shit. And you know what? It fills up all those fuckin’ places I thought it’d be empty forever.”

  I blinked at him. “Stop saying stuff like that,” I demanded.

  He smirked. “What stuff?”

  “You know what stuff. You’re a biker. And remember your promise, you are to fuck me hard and make a home in hell with me.”

  Cain kissed me. “Oh, I’ll do all that. And I’ll love you ‘til the day I die.”

  I jerked. We hadn’t said that out loud yet. A part of me still wanted to run. A part of me that was still ice, and that always would be. But it was smaller now. No longer in control. “I’ll love you even after I die,” I whispered.

  And then he kissed me again. For much longer this time.

  And we rode into the sunset.

  But not into peace.

  The club was about to ride into chaos.

  Anne Malcom has been an avid reader since before she can remember, her mother responsible for her book addiction. It started with magical journeys into the world of Hogwarts and Middle Earth, then as she grew up her reading tastes grew with her. Her obsession with books and romance novels in particular gave Anne the opportunity to find another passion, writing. Finding writing about alpha males and happily ever afters more fun than reading about them, Anne is not about to stop any time soon.

  Raised in small town New Zealand, Anne had a truly special childhood, growing up in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. She has backpacked across Europe, ridden camels in the Sahara, eaten her way through Italy, and had all sorts of crazy adventures. She’s currently living in London, planning her next adventure.

  Stalk her

  Website: www.annemalcomauthor.com

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  Instagram: anne.malcomauthor

  Twitter: malcom_anne

  The Vein Chronicles

  Fatal Harmony

  Deathless

  Faults in Fate

  Eternity’s Awakening

  The Sons of Templar

  Making the Cut

  Firestorm

  Outside the Lines

  Out of the Ashes

  Beyond the Horizon

  Dauntless

  Battles of the Broken

  Greenstone Security

  Still Waters

  Shield

  The Problem with Peace

  Unquiet Mind

  Echoes of Silence

  Skeletons of Us

  Broken Shelves

  A dark Standalone…

  Birds of Paradise

  April

  He was here.

  I always knew when he came to Drake’s, the bar I worked at, because I could feel it. How I could feel his presence, I had no idea, but I felt it. I glance to the entrance, watching as he walks in, flanked by two of his MC club brothers. All eyes are on him, and he knows it. I’m pretty sure he likes it. It’s a small town, and there isn’t a person in it who doesn’t know or know of Zachary Benton. He is who men want to be and who women want in their beds. And he makes sure most of the women get what they want. It’s not like Zach to disappoint, at least not in that area. I wipe down the table, trying to ignore his presence as he heads straight in my direction.

  Why is he always here when I work? I have the worst luck.

  “You’re looking particularly stunning tonight,” Zach greets, his gaze roaming over my body. I’m wearing the usual, tight black skinny jeans and a tank top. I don’t think I look any different than I normally do, except I’d put some eyeliner and mascara on my blue eyes earlier.

  Oh, and I’d actually brushed my hair.

  “What do you want Zach?” I ask, leaning against the bar and staring him down.

  Fuck, he’s beautiful.

  Messy reddish brown hair, pale blue eyes that see into your soul. The man is a living, breathing badass, dressed in his Ash & Bone cut, a white t-shirt and jeans that hug his deliciously tight ass.

  I’d know, I’d been perving on it when he’d walked in.

  Hell, I’d been perving on it for years.

  “A beer please,” he replies, eyes firmly locked on me. “What time do you finish work?”

  “Why?” I ask suspiciously, grabbing a beer out of the fridge and sliding it over to him.

  “Just asking,” he murmurs.

  Yes, but why was he asking?

  Just yesterday, I’d seen Zach having sex with a woman at the beach. In the water, in broad daylight. I kid you not. It had been years since we slept together, but it still hurts every time I see him with another woman. The pain never goes away. I keep waiting for it to, because time heals all wounds, right?

  Wrong.

  It still hurts like it was yesterday that I gave him my virginity and then saw him out with a different girl the next night. The next night. I’d fancied myself in love with him, or something like that, but all he’d seen me as was another conquest. I’d saved myself for someone really special, but ended up giving it away to the man-whore of the town.

  Not my proudest moment.

  Now, three years later, we’re somewhat friends. We have something in common, Zach and I. We both love Trillian. Trillian doesn’t know about Zach. I never told anyone, not even her, and I don’t plan to. I don’t want her to look at him in a different way, especially since he’d been there for her. She lives alone and Zach is the one who keeps an eye on her, and makes sure she’s safe. I don’t want her to see him in a bad light. What happened between him and I doesn’t change the fact that he’s amazing to her. So I keep everything to myself.

  I serve the other customers at the bar, trying to ignore Zach, but I can feel his gaze on me.

  “Where’s Trillian?” I ask him when the silence starts to get a little uncomfortable.

  “With Xander.”

  I can’t stop the smile that plays on my lips. “I’m glad she’s found someone.”

  Zach’s eyes soften. “Me too. If he hurts her though, I’ll skin him alive.”

  “I believe it,” I reply, grinning. Pulling the hair band off my wrist, I tie my blonde hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head.

  I look at Zach to see him studying me. “I’m taking you home tonight.”

  “I drove here in my own car, so there’s no need.”

  “Then I’ll walk you to that pile of rust you call a car,” he says, tipping the beer bottle back and taking a mouthful. “You know that thing is a ticking time bomb, right?”

  “It’s fine,” I deadpan. “And your opinion hasn’t been asked for.”

  He always does this. He likes to take control of every situation. Before, I didn’t matter to him, but now he acts like he cares. I have no idea what goes on in that mind of his.

  “Are you sure? I mean, I could take you back to mine,” he teases, winking at me. “Save you some petrol.”

  Unamused, I add, “I’m a changed woman, Za
ch. And I have a new rule, one that discourages me ever sleeping with friends of friends. It didn’t go so well for me the first time.”

  It’s also a rule I just made up on the spot.

  “That hurts, April,” he says, hand over his heart.

  Before he can say anything further, one of Zach’s MC brothers walks up to the bar and stands beside him. Trigger is in his mid-twenties and quite good looking with his dark hair, eyes and scruffy beard.

  “Can I get you something, Trigger?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. Trigger doesn’t talk much. I think I’ve only ever heard his voice once.

  “Strong and silent type,” I mutter under my breath.

  “Is that what you like now?” Zach asks, leaning over the bar. “Strong and silent?”

  I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “I like a lot of things now.”

  I hadn’t been an angel after sleeping with Zach, but no matter what, my heart doesn’t want to let go of him. It’s stupid. Irrational.

  I’m contemplating moving towns when his finger lifts my chin up. “You’re never going to forgive me for what happened back then, are you? I was young and stupid, prospecting for the club and thinking with my dick. I’ve told you this.”

  He had.

  He’d apologised even though it was me that was the stupid one. Okay, he didn’t have to hook up with someone else the next night, but he made me no promises. I saw something when nothing was there.

  I force a smile. “We don’t have to talk about this again. There’s no point rehashing the past.”

  He runs a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “Why are you so difficult?”

  I tilt my head to the side. “I don’t understand what you want from me? I forgive you. Will I forget, no, I won’t. We’re friends now, so let’s just leave everything in the past where it belongs.”

  “Are we, though?” he asks, gaze boring into mine.

  “Are we what?”

  “Friends.”

  “As close as we’re ever going to be,” I tell him, pushing off the bar and heading to the other side of it. Why does he always do this to me? I don’t understand him, and I need to stop trying to.

  Men don’t change.

  Yes, he was young when he hurt me, but he’s still young.

  And he’s still the same.

  And I need to move on and let it go.

  “April,” he murmurs, crooking his finger for me to come closer.

  I scowl. “I’m not one of your whores, don’t crook your finger and expect me to come running.”

  He raises an eyebrow at that. “Trust me, you want to come closer or everyone is going to hear what I have to say.” He pauses, and adds, “Please.”

  Oh fuck.

  I lean closer, not wanting anyone to hear my business. This is a small town, and that shit would travel around faster than I could blink.

  He reaches out and traces my jawline with his finger. “You’re the only woman in the world who can say I was her first.”

  My eyes widen. Am I supposed to be pleased?

  Why the fuck am I pleased?

  “I know I messed up afterwards, but I’m glad I was your first. I was scared, you know.”

  He was scared?

  “Why were you scared?” I ask, trying not to look at his lips, and failing.

  He licks his bottom lip before answering. “When I got a taste of something I’d want permanently, someone I could see myself with in the future at such a young age, it was fuckin’ daunting, April. I was shit scared. I’d found something worth it and had no idea what to do with it.”

  So he decided to ruin it instead?

  I have no idea what he’s talking about. Daunting? Something he’d want permanently? The only thing he wants permanently is sex every night. With different women, preferably. Maybe even more than one. His wild sexual exploits might be an attraction for some, his experience something they want to have a taste of, but I don’t feel that way. The one man in the world I want to end up with, I would prefer if he hadn’t shared himself with half the women in town. That’s not attractive to me. Still, I can’t seem to turn my head away from it. I don’t know why that is, but I wish it would change.

  “Don’t give me that look,” he growls. “I’m telling you the truth. I was an asshole, I’ve owned up to that.”

  He had, but it didn’t really change anything. It still doesn’t change anything.

  “What is this really about, Zach? Been through all the pussy in Channon and now you’re doing second rounds?”

  He flinches at my comment, emotion flashing his eyes before he’s able to mask it.

  I hurt him?

  That’s rich.

  “You’re not just pussy, April,” he mutters, looking out over the dance floor. “You never were.”

  After that comment, he goes back to ignoring me.

  I so don’t get him.

  At the end of my shift, he follows me out of the bar, and he walks me to my car.

  I unlock the door with a click of a button, and he opens the door for me, shutting it as soon as I’m safely inside. He taps the hood with his hand, and then walks back into the bar.

  With a sigh, I drive home.

  Trying not to think about who he would be taking home tonight.

  April

  Fuck.

  My car wouldn’t start.

  I’m standing in the car park of my university, lifting up the hood and taking a look like I actually know what’s going on inside the engine. I can’t call my mum, she’s at work and I can’t expect her to leave to help me out. I can hear Zach’s ‘I told you so’ in my head, because he only just told me this would happen. I could call Trillian? Maybe I’d just take a bus home and let future me worry about it. I probably should have gotten insurance on my car. Well, more than just third party insurance. I slam the hood shut and pull out my phone.

  “Hey ,April,” Trill answers, sounding out of breath.

  Great, I just cock blocked the happy couple.

  “I needed something, but it’s okay, you can go back to—”

  “What do you need?” she asks, her voice turning stern. “Are you okay?”

  I sigh. “My car broke down and I was wondering if—”

  “Where are you?” she asks, then lowers her voice. “She’s fine, Zach, calm down.”

  Zach is there?

  Just great.

  “Uni.”

  “We will be there in ten,” she says.

  “Thanks, Trill,” I mumble into the phone.

  “What are friends for? See you in a bit.”

  We both hang up.

  When I hear the rumble of a motorcycle, I cringe. Turning my head I see Zach riding into the car park. He parks his bike next to my car and slides off, looking sexy as hell in his dark jeans, white t-shirt and leather cut. His hair is sticking up in every direction as he pulls his helmet off, his pale blue eyes finding me. Why is he the one that has to come and save me?

  Why?

  “You should have called me, April,” he says in greeting. “You know I would come. And I also told you this was going to happen.”

  “And that’s why I didn’t want you to come,” I shrug, nibbling on my lower lip. “Trill could have come.”

  And then I wouldn’t have had to deal with Zach at all.

  “Does Trill know anything about cars?” he asks, smirking and walking closer to me.

  “Do you?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “We would have figured it out. We aren’t completely useless.”

  Or she would have called Xander to save the day.

  He grins playfully. “There isn’t much I don’t know, sweetheart.”

  So many witty comebacks play in my head, such as ‘how about how to be monogamous’ or ‘how to sleep with a woman more than once’ but I keep my mouth closed. He’s here to help me, after all.

  “Biting your tongue? That’s not like you, April,” he murmurs, lifting up my hood. I can’t help but stare at his bulging biceps and his a
ss as he bends over to examine the engine.

  “What’s the damage?” I ask when he straightens and turns to me.

  “I think it’s the carburettor. I’ll take you home and come back to deal with your car.”

  “Are you sure? I could just—”

  “April,” he says. “Come here.”

  I walk over to him and glare at him defiantly. “I’m grateful for your help but don’t tell me what to do unless you want my foot in your crotch.”

  His mouth twitches. “So much fire for such a small girl.”

  “I’m not small.”

  “You’re tiny. Like a little pixie.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “A jerk that’s going to help you,” he replies. “Finally get you on the back of my bike.”

  “Finally?” I ask, blinking slowly.

  He licks his bottom lip and looks away. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  I lock my car and let Zach help me put my helmet on. I realise that he gave me his, because there was only one and he goes without.

  That’s… sweet of him.

  I slide on behind him and hold the back of his cut, trying not to touch his body. Last thing I need is a reminder of what I can’t have. When he clasps both of my wrists and pulls them around him, so my hands rest on his hard abs, my body stiffens, but I hold on. No point falling off the damn bike because of my stubbornness. It was nice of him to come and get me. I think deep down inside I know he will always be there if I need him, and I guess in a way it makes everything harder, because there is something there between us, even if it’s just friendship. It’s never going to be what I want it to be, though, and that’s the hard part. When the bike comes to a stop, I realize we aren’t at my place, or even at his, and Zach has stopped and parked on one of the main streets in the city, where there are shops, restaurants and cafés.

  Taking off my helmet, I ask him, “Do you need to get something?”

  He shakes his head. “Nope. I’m hungry though, so I’m taking you out for lunch.”

  My lips tighten that he’s telling me instead of asking me, but I’m also hungry so I’m going to choose my battles and let this one slide.

 

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