My Captor, My Love

by Leah Matheny

  Honon picked me up and sat down in the chair. “There, are you comfortable now?” He kissed me after I nodded. When I moved my head away, his lips trailed down my throat and I sighed as I felt the quickening inside me.

  I cleared my throat. “Okay, tell me how you two got here.” When they told us about their harrowing airplane and taxi ride, we all laughed. I looked at Honon. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I whispered. I gave him a quick hug, burying my face in the side of his neck; I breathed him in deeply and then sat up. “Now, tell me how you came to change your mind about me.”

  Honon looked over at Liwanu and Karen, then, he turned his eyes back to me. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told my mother and Liwanu. She wouldn’t give me the information to find you until I believed and trusted you a hundred percent.” He told me how he’d felt when he came back to the village to find me gone, how he’d lived through the winter, and how he’d finally realized he did believe me, once he’d thought logically. Liwanu confirmed what he’d said.

  I yawned and Honon stood up, “You’re tired, it’s late and you need to sleep.”

  “Stop, wait,” I said. “What about Liwanu?” I turned to Liwanu. “I have an extra bed, but it’s a twin. I don’t think you’ll be able to fit in it.” I looked over at Karen. “Karen, don’t you have something better?”

  “Uh, I have an extra room with a queen size bed you can use if you want. I’m only about five minutes away. We don’t have to work tomorrow. I can bring you back in the morning,” Karen rambled. I could see the red deepening on her neck. Yeah, Liwanu’s the one affecting her.

  Honon said something to Liwanu in Miwokan and I could feel Honon’s chest shake with his quiet chuckle. Liwanu stood up and held his hand out to Karen. “Yes, I like that idea.” He helped her up off the couch, picked up a suitcase, and they left.

  Honon turned to me. “Now, where’s your bed?”

  “Honon, I’d really like a bath before bed. I’ve been at work for twelve hours.”

  He nodded, “Then show me to your bath.”

  I pointed the way.

  I got the water started and turned to him. “I am so happy to see you. I’d always hoped you’d come for me, but I resigned myself that that wish would never come true.” We undressed each other. He got down on his knees to touch and caress my stomach.

  “You are beautiful with my child in you.” He looked up at me. “Please forgive me for acting like a boy and not a man. I should have been there for you. I’m very sorry. I know I don’t deserve…please, forgive me.”

  “That’s over with, you’re here now. I love you.”

  He picked me up and set me in the tub. Kosumi came to my mind and I knew I should tell Honon. It would be better for him to find out and leave me immediately instead of later. He was getting in behind me. “Honon…I think maybe there’s something I should tell you. It’s about after I left the village…” He stopped me.

  “Dani, like I was told, I have no right to know about or judge anything you did after I left you. When I left you alone, I lost the right to have a say in what you did or how you lived your life. All I care about is that I have you back now.” He tilted my head back to kiss me. “I’ve missed you, my cujcuje.”

  I sat up and tried to turn around, but my stomach wouldn’t allow me. Honon turned my back toward him and leaned me against his chest. “Just relax, let me wash you.” After he washed the front of me, he sat me up and washed my back. “Where’s the shampoo?”

  I handed the bottle to him and he washed my hair while glimpses of the first bath he gave me flickered through my mind. When he finished, I stood up to turn around and sat back down facing him. I tried to lean forward to wash him, but couldn’t reach very far. So I leaned back and watched him wash himself. He stood to lather his body. I couldn’t believe how erotic it was to watch him touch himself. I heard myself breathing harder. My gaze moved back toward his to find him watching me with his darkening eyes and the side of his mouth lifting into his sexy grin.

  “Honon, rinse off. Take me to bed,” I said seriously.

  He stepped out of the tub and slowly dried himself off, never taking his searing gaze off me. They caressed me, roaming over my body, and I felt my nipples harden even more while my breath quickened. I took hold of his hand and he helped me stand. He leaned over, picked me up, and lifted me out of the tub. His kisses followed the towel as he dried me off.

  “Your body…I thought of you every day. I woke hard for you every morning,” Honon said as his kisses turned into licks and nips with his teeth.

  “Yes, I thought of you daily also…and every night.” And I remembered how I would immediately push those thoughts away. “Hurry, take me to bed...please.”

  “No, my cujcuje, I don’t want to hurry, I’ve thought of this too long to rush. I want to savor my hani.” He picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. After he gently laid me on my bed and sat next to me, he ran his fingers over my body and caused a trail of goose bumps.

  “Honon…” I wanted him on top of me, I wanted to feel his weight, feel his arms envelop my body. But he couldn’t lie on me, not with me so large with our baby. He turned me on my side and lay next to me. His fingers caressed my face as he placed light kisses on my forehead and cheeks.

  “I love you, I’m happier than I ever thought I could be,” he said, bringing his lips to mine.

  “Kiss me.” I grabbed his head, trying to deepen the kiss, and I felt the side of his mouth lift in a smile; slowly he licked my lips and I whimpered. His hand roamed over my body, mine roamed over his. “I love the feel of your chest and your arms…all of you.” I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and bit down. That did the trick. Honon growled, rolled me over with his body pressed up against my side, and ravaged my mouth. I sighed in pleasure, his arms held me tightly, and his tongue swept all over my mouth and my tongue. Yes. That’s what I wanted.

  He brought his fingers lower, caressing my breasts--lower, spreading me, entering me. “Ohmygod…Honon…please…” His kisses lowered, laving my breasts--lower, kissing my stomach, our baby--and lower still, bringing me to a quick release. But it wasn’t enough. “I need you inside me…now.” Moving between my legs and sitting down on his knees, he took hold of my legs, brought my knees to the crook of his elbows and spread his knees, drawing me closer to him. I saw his chest heaving with his deep breaths.

  “I will love you forever,” he said as he slowly entered me. He groaned and then held still, closing his eyes. I started to wiggle against him, flexing my muscles around him. “Stop! Wait a minute…this feels too good,” he groaned. But I couldn’t stop; one more wiggle and fireworks were shooting off inside my body. With a yell, he slammed into me, repeatedly, yelling his own release.

  “I’m sorry…I couldn’t stop.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not done with you yet,” he panted with a grin.

  Honon’s caresses woke me. “Good morning, my wyhki, my heart, is there anything I can help you with?” He nuzzled my neck.

  “Mmm,” I moaned, “if you keep that up, I just might become quite demanding.”

  He laughed softly and nipped my neck. “Then I won’t stop.”

  “Well, you’re going to have to stop for a couple of minutes.” I laughed as I crawled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I hopped right back into bed and snuggled up to Honon. After we made love, I lay back in his arms and could feel the baby kicking so I put his hand on my stomach. When he felt the kick, he sat up quickly.

  “Our baby kicks?”

  “You really believe the baby is yours?” Even though he’d said so the night before, I just wanted to make sure.

  “Yes, I believe this baby is mine, in every way. I know you didn’t lie with any other man.” When he bent down to kiss my stomach, I smiled and nodded. Then Honon looked very solemn with his eyebrows furrowed. “Your doctors here, they’ll help you? You won’t die?”

  “Oh, Honon, don’t worry. Women and babies don’t die during childbirth like they used
to, like your wife and baby did. I can take you to the hospital and show you everything. We can take childbirth classes so you can be in the room with me while I deliver our baby. Would you like to do that?”

  He just stared at me, looking like a million things were going through his mind. “When will the baby, Jack Honon, come?”

  “In six weeks. Are you going to stay?” Are you going to leave again?

  “To travel now wouldn’t be safe for you or our baby.” He nodded with a satisfied look at having made the decision.

  I released the breath I was holding. “Okay, and afterwards…after Jack Honon is born?” I was still on pins and needles.

  He sat thinking again. “When you think the baby is ready, we’ll go home then.”

  I felt joy and sadness at the same time. I’d get to go back and raise my son in a healthy, safe environment--with his father and grandparents. But I also thought about Karen and Tamara, they were supposed to be part of Jack Honon’s life. They were so excited to be aunties.

  “And I would never get to come back here, back to see Karen or Tamara?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. That would be taking too big of a chance, we could be discovered.” He wiped a tear that fell down my cheek. “Wyhki, don’t you want to go back with me?”

  “Yes, yes…very much. I’ll just miss my friends.” I started to cry. “Don’t mind me, I cry at the drop of hat. My hormones are going crazy.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean, but that’s okay. You can cry.” He held me in his arms.

  While I made breakfast, Honon walked around my home checking things out to see how they worked. After we ate, I made a call I was nervous about. “TamTam, hi, are you sitting down?”

  “The baby! Are you all right?”

  I laughed. “More than all right…uhh…Honon is here. He’s come back for me.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “TamTam? Are you there?”

  “Yes I am. Did you tell him to go F off?” Her voice was like ice.

  I ignored that. “One of the others is here too, Liwanu. Why don’t you come to dinner tonight? Karen will be here and we all need to talk. I’ll explain everything to you then. Okay?” I didn’t want her upset.

  Tamara sighed. “Yeah. I’ll come right after work.”

  I looked over at Honon while I bit my lip.

  “That didn’t go very well, did it?” He said, and I shook my head. He came over and hugged me.

  “I think she’d probably like to bring a gun over and shoot you. I know this is private, but Karen was here to listen last night and she heard you…do you think you can tell Tamara about apologizing and how you’ve changed? She’s my family, she and Karen. They were both going to help me raise Jack Honon and be his aunts. I want her to be okay with me going away with you, and I’ll need her help.”

  Honon smiled at me. “My wyhki, I’ll do anything you ask.” He kissed my lips and trailed down until he was on his knees, kissing my stomach.

  I smiled at him. “Do you think I should call Karen? They should’ve been here by now.”

  He stood and picked me up. “Not yet,” he said in a husky voice, carrying me back to the bedroom.

  The doorbell woke me up. Karen and Liwanu were there with take-out food. I gave Liwanu a big hug--I had to turn sideways to do it. “I’m sorry I didn’t greet you properly last night, Liwanu. It was such a shock.”

  He hugged me back. “I understand. I am glad to see you so happy.”

  Karen looked me over; I was wearing my robe. She raised an eyebrow, “Hmm, just coming up for air?”

  I looked over at Liwanu, crossed my arms over my chest, and gave her the once over, “Hmm yourself, I thought you said you were coming over first thing this morning?”

  Liwanu grunted and walked away while Karen averted her eyes. Honon came into the room wearing only his jeans, his top button undone. “I smell food. Where is it? I’m starving.” I just stood, staring with my mouth hanging open. Damn, he’s exquisite. Honon moved over to me and rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. “Is this an invitation?” He whispered near my ear.

  I closed my mouth and swallowed. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to looking at you,” I purred as I ran my hand over his hard chest. “And you look soooo good in those jeans.”

  “Hellooo,” Karen said, “do you guys want to eat…food, or not?” We turned around and emptied all the food from the bags.

  I told her about Tamara coming over for dinner. “We need to talk. But not now, I want to have some fun. Let’s show them the beach,” I said excitedly.

  After eating, we got dressed, grabbed our jackets, and headed down to Newport Beach. The ocean breeze lifted Honon’s hair off his shoulders while we walked down the pier. We all took off our shoes and walked down to the water, but both Honon and Liwanu walked out far enough to get their pant legs wet up to their knees. Honon wanted to know about the people sitting and standing out on the water and I explained surfing to him. We walked back up the sand and got ice cream cones which they both loved immensely. Between the ice cream and the cool air, I got chilled. I looked at my watch. “It’s four o’clock, we should start heading back. I need to go to the grocery store to get something for dinner.”

  We stopped at Ralphs, and to say the guys were amazed would be an understatement. “No one hunts or grows food? Everything is here?” Honon asked in total awe.

  “Well, some people grow food and lots of people hunt, but it’s more of a sport,” I answered. They wanted to try all kinds of fruits and vegetables. Honon grabbed up a bunch of packaged meat. Liwanu wanted to know if they had ice cream, and they grabbed ten different small containers. After I picked up a couple different teas I thought they might like, I looked over at Karen, “I think we have enough food for a week.”

  She leaned close to me, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you pay for it.”

  When we got to the check-out counter, Karen and I opened our wallets. The cashier gave us the total. But before we knew what was happening, Honon handed money over to the cashier. “Hey, where’d you get that?” Karen asked. I figured Honon had money from selling gold so I elbowed her and pulled her away. I hadn’t told her that part of the story.

  Once we were seated in the car, Karen turned and looked at me. “What was that all about? Where’d he get the money?”

  I looked over at Honon to let him answer.

  “I sold some of our possessions,” he said, and I saw Karen give a thoughtful look before she shrugged her shoulders.

  When we got back to my place, we figured out what we wanted for dinner and put everything else away. Tamara arrived just as dinner was finished cooking and I made the introductions. She was harder on Honon than I thought she’d be.

  “What makes you think you can just walk back into her life? Do you have any idea how much you hurt her?”

  I gaped at her. “Tamara!” She wasn’t going to be easy on Honon.

  She ignored me while continuing to stare at him. “Well?”

  Honon nodded his head to her. “Come, sit and I’ll tell you,” he said as he motioned her to one of the kitchen chairs. Tamara was still listening to Honon when I placed the plates of food on the table.

  We were halfway through eating when she sat back. “Well, you seem like you’ve had a true change of heart.” She leaned in close to him and pointed her finger at his chest. “You better not hurt her again.”

  “Okay, let’s enjoy the rest of our meal,” I quickly interjected.

  After dinner I turned to Tamara, “We have ten different ice creams for you to choose from for dessert.” When she raised her eyebrows, Karen and I laughed, “Don’t ask.”

  While we were eating ice cream, I turned to Tamara. “After baby Jack is born, when he’s about a month old, I’ll be returning with Honon.” I quickly looked at Honon. “You do still want to go home, right? Or have you changed your mind after seeing some of what the outside world has to offer?”

  He shook his head. “I’ll enjoy my time here with
you exploring. But I’m to be chief one day. I must return home, I won’t dishonor my father.”

  I smiled. “Okay, home it is. TamTam, do you have any ideas on how to handle this? I guess I’ll turn in my notice at the hospital. Maybe I’ll work for another month. I have my car and house to sell. Actually, I’ll probably just turn the house over to the bank. With the market crashing, I’m probably upside down on the mortgage anyway. I’ll have a big garage sale for all my possessions.” I looked at Karen and Tamara, “If there’s anything you guys want of mine, you...”

  “You’re really going to do this? I’m going to miss you.” With tears in her eyes, she leaned over and hugged me. “I was looking forward to being Auntie TamTam.” Then she straightened herself and became Lawyer Tamara.

  “Well…I suggest you take the proceeds from the sales and your current cash, and buy gold with it. Gold won’t disintegrate like cash will, so you’ll have it if and when you ever need it.”

  I quickly looked at Honon and he gave me a slight shake of his head. Honon turned to Tamara. “Yes, I think that’s a good idea.” Then he turned to Liwanu. “I’ll be here at least ten more weeks. I think you should go back home and tell my parents what’s happened. If you want, you can meet us in Bishop in ten weeks to ride back with us…if you want to.” After that, they spoke in their native language for a while.

  I looked over at Karen. I could see she was breathing a little bit harder and her neck was red. She was staring at Liwanu, and Liwanu kept taking quick glances at her. Man, that’d be great, Karen could come with us.

  “I will leave in one week.” Liwanu said. He stood up and held his hand out to Karen. “Come.”

  Karen stood and looked at Tamara, who had her mouth hanging open. “He’s not a man of many words, but he is a man of action,” she winked and smiled. When they left, I turned to Tamara and put my finger under her chin to close her mouth.