“You smell so good.” He whispers, pulling me in close as his strong arms wrap around my small frame.
“Do I?”
“God, yes.” He murmurs, inhaling deeply. “But then you always do.”
It feels incredible to be this close to him again and I can scarcely believe we’re sharing the same bed like we used to. It’s almost like I can fool myself when we’re together like this. I can pretend like Cole does and convince myself that nothing has changed. He’s still the man I love and I’m still the girl he can’t be without.
“Cole, I want to thank you.” I say, choosing to disturb our peaceful silence.
“What for?”
“For taking me with you.”
He remains silent for a few moments, considering his response.
“Thank you for letting me.” He replies, resting his chin against the top of my head. “Everything will work out, Serena. We’re going to be ok. I promise you.”
“What if… what if you can’t keep that promise?” I ask him timidly.
“I will keep it.” He assures me, leaning back so he can look me in the eyes. “I’m never going to let you go, Serena. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine and you’re the only one who has been able to shed light on the darkness which is inside of me. You’re the only one who has gathered all the broken and fragmented pieces of my soul and put them back together again. You make me whole and you’ve somehow managed to heal a part of myself I thought was broken. You are my hope, baby. My strength, my weakness and my future. You’re everything to me and I swear I don’t think I could live a single day of this life without you.”
I begin to tremble as my mind starts to process the severity of his words. Everything is happening so, so fast. My mind feels like its racing ahead of me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. My life is crumpling around me and the only thing, the only person I have to cling onto is Cole.
“I… I don’t know what to say.” I admit, burying my face against his chest. “I’m still so concerned about Lisa. I don’t know what she’s going to think when she realises I’ve gone missing. She’ll be so worried.”
He still doesn’t know I told her everything before we left and I plan on keeping it that way. Cole would go berserk if he found out I told her we were related.
“I’ll make sure they never find us.” He promises, squeezing me tightly. “I don’t plan on giving up, even if that means we have to keep on running.”
The terrifying part is I actually believe him. I know he will stop at nothing to keep us together, even if that means we have to keep on hiding.
“Cole, we still need to talk about what you did at school.” I remind him, putting some distance between us. “You have to realise you can’t react like that every time someone says something you don’t like about me.”
“So what should I have done?” He challenges me. “How could I just stand there and let that piece of scum say those things about you?”
“Of course not but there’s other ways of dealing with things.”
“I don’t know any other ways, Serena. This is the way I am and the only way I know how to be. I grew up around so much violence, my whole childhood is tainted with it and I’m not trying to excuse myself, I just want you to understand how hard it is for me to stay calm in those sort of situations and not lash out. I love you and will do everything in my power to protect you. That’s never going to change.”
I exhale slowly, wondering how on earth either one of are going to get through this. Being on the run from the police and trying to pretend that we don’t know the truth about one another. I just don’t know if I have the strength or determination to see this through. What if we’re find out? What if the police find us and send Cole to prison? Where will I go and how would I exist without him? All these crazy thoughts keep swirling around inside my head, consuming every part of me until I feel suffocated by it all.
“Cole, I…I don’t think I can take much more right now. All I want to do is close my eyes and go to sleep so I can pretend that none of this is even happening.” I wail, covering my face with my hands in an attempt to stop myself from crying.
“Shh, it’s ok. It’s all going to be ok.” He soothes me, pulling my body against his so he can embrace me. “I don’t want you to be afraid of anything anymore, not a single thing. I will take care of everything and most importantly… I’ll take care of you.”
I still remember the day I first met him and how I barged right into him when I was making a quick escape from the girl’s bathroom. I should have known that our collision was an omen of what was about to follow. Our entire relationship has been tumultuous and crazy. We’ve experienced more heartbreak in the few weeks that we’ve known each other than people do in a whole lifetime. However, we’ve faced the darkest of times and still come through it all.
We have this moment and we have each other. There might only be a small glimmer of light amongst the shadows but it’s the small flicker of hope I intend to cling onto.
I don’t know what will happen next or what the future might bring but what I do know is that I love Cole. I can’t exist without him and don’t intend to for a single moment.
He is mine and I am his… nothing else matters.
Chapter Two
We both sleep in late the next morning, neither one of us waking up until lunchtime. The afternoon sunlight which is streaming in through a small gap in the curtains is what wakes me and I turn over, sighing with contentment when I feel Cole’s strong, muscular body right beside me.
I never thought we would be together like this again. I had actually convinced myself that sharing a bed with Cole was a thing of the past, something I would only be allowed to experience through my memories.
Cole stirs beside me, turning over onto his left side so that he’s facing me. I watch him intently as his eyes start to open and he takes in his surroundings.
“Good morning.” I say, smiling at him warmly.
“Good morning, beautiful. How long have you been awake?” he asks, resting his hand on my hip so he can pull me close against him.
“Not long.” I reply truthfully, shifting underneath his touch.”
“Don’t.” He warns me, tightening the hold he has on me so I can’t pull away from him.
“What? I wasn’t doing anything.” I lie, trying to act oblivious to his caution.
“Don’t move away from me. Don’t flinch every time I touch you and don’t try to put any distance between us. Ever.”
His tone is almost threatening, laced with bitterness and a hint of anger.
“Cole, this is going to take me some time, ok? There’s things I need to adjust to and I need you to be patient when it comes to the two of us being intimate.”
“I have patience, Serena. I just don’t want you to pull away from me. I don’t want anything to have changed between us because I still feel the exact same way about you that I always have. That is never going to change.”
“So the strippers didn’t manage to do anything for you?” I ask him sourly, struggling to contain my envy.
Cole sighs heavily before he places one of his fingers underneath my chin, tilting my face up towards his.
“I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. I wish I had never done any of those things but you have to understand how much torment I was in. I felt like I was going to die from my misery and I was willing to try anything and everything I could to ease just a small amount of that pain I was feeling.”
“You don’t think I was in pain too?” I snap, jumping out of bed in anger. “I was hurting too, Cole! I was in torment as well. I couldn’t eat, sleep or even think straight but I didn’t run to anyone else and I didn’t flaunt anyone in front of you just to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t.” He groans despairingly, cradling his head in his hands as he sits up in bed.
I turn away in an attempt to avert my eyes from his magnificent physique. He’s still shirtless and I hate the fact that this is enough to distract me
from the seriousness of our conversation.
“It’s just… it’s going to take me a while to forgive you.” I murmur softly, being completely honest with him.
“I understand.” He whispers, lowering his gaze. “What I did was unforgivable.”
There’s a moment of silence between us as I try to get my head around everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours.
“Cole, there’s something I need to know.” I admit, wringing my hands together in anguish. “I need to know if you slept with anyone during the time we spent apart.”
“Of course I didn’t. You really think I could do that?” He growls, leaping up from the bed so he can stride over towards me.
“How am I supposed to know that? You were all over the girls at school. You deliberately kissed someone right in front of me.” I remind him, frantically trying to banish the image I now have of the two of them from my head. “God knows what you did when I wasn’t there.”
“You know why I did that.” He says desperately. “It was despicable of me but I just wanted to get a reaction out of you. I couldn’t take you ignoring me anymore and I knew I had to do something to make you realise what you would be throwing away if you gave up on us.”
“Well, the next time I want a reaction from you I’ll just have to make sure I kiss someone as well.” I reply bitterly, struggling to ignore his advances as he closes the small space between us.
“You think that’s something you really want to joke about with me?” He challenges, forcing me back until I meet the wall behind me.
“I’m just saying…”
“Well don’t.” He growls once more, lowering his lips towards mine. “I mean it, Serena.”
“L-let’s just get ready.” I stammer helplessly, clenching both of my fists. “We have a big day ahead of us. We still need to figure out what we’re going to do with the rest of our lives and where we’re going to go next.”
Cole relinquishes his hold on me with a great deal of reluctance, allowing me to sneak past him so I can make my way into the bathroom. I learnt my lesson when it came to locking the bathroom door behind me last night and decide to leave it unlocked. However, I still decide to close it whilst I take my shower.
As the warm water cascades over my body, I realise I don’t even have any shampoo. I left home in such a hurry last night, I barely managed to pack any of my belongings. I’ve always washed my hair every single day and cry out in frustration.
“Serena, what’s wrong?” Cole asks, barging straight into the bathroom without knocking.
I’m still behind the shower curtain but instinctively wrap my arms around my naked body, worried that he might see me.
“I forgot to bring any shampoo with me!” I wail, still trembling underneath the steady stream of water.
“Is that all?” He asks, struggling to contain the humour in his voice.
“I need it, Cole. There’s so many things I need.”
“Like what?”
“Private things.” I answer curtly, mortified by the idea that I’ll have to explain to him that my period is due soon and I’m going to need something for it.
“Like what?”
“Toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and… girl’s things.” I reply evasively, unwilling to say the actual words.
“Girl’s things?” He chuckles softly, hovering close by me… dangerously close.
I can see the silhouette of his frame on the other side of the curtain. One swipe of it and I would be exposed to him. The thought of this enough to turn my stomach and arouse my deepest desires at the exact same moment.
“You know what I mean…” I trail off, squirming with embarrassment.
“Ok, ok.” He placates me gently, picking up on my discomfort. “Why don’t you finish up in the shower and we can go out and get everything we need?”
“But I can’t go out without washing my hair!” I cry, clutching at it in vexation. “Please, Cole… it will look terrible and I don’t want you to see me like that. Not yet.”
“I never knew you were this vain.” He replies in good humour, stifling his laughter.
“I’m not.” I remind him brusquely. “That’s why I don’t have the confidence to go out like this. If I was more confident in my appearance then I would.”
“Serena, you’re beautiful and no lack of beauty products is going to change that.”
“Thank you but I still really want the shampoo.” I murmur, trailing my fingers through my damp hair.
“Alright then.” He sighs heavily. “I’ll go out and get you everything you need. Will you be alright waiting here until I get back?”
“I can lock the door behind you when you leave, right?”
“Of course.” He states confidence. “And don’t answer it to anyone else but me.”
“Ok.” I acquiesce, turning away from the sound of his voice as I close my eyes once more, relaxing underneath the shower’s continuous flow of water.
“By the way…” Cole says, startling me when he pokes his head around the curtain. “I love you.”
His intense gaze wanders up and down my naked body, devouring every single curve and droplet of water which cascades down each of my curves. Our eyes meet for just a fraction of a moment, deepening the unbreakable connection which we already share as well as reminding me that I cannot escape this. I cannot escape him or the power he still has over me.
Ever.
He’s gone before I have a chance to respond to him and I’m left standing alone, fighting the undeniable yearning which consumes me for a man I can never have.
Cole comes back within half an hour and I greet him warmly, practically snatching the shampoo bottle out of his hand so I can finish my shower.
Afterwards, I come out of the bathroom wearing one of Cole’s T-shirts and towel drying my hair to find him sitting in front of the muted TV in front of him in some sort of trance.
“What is it, Cole? What’s wrong?” I ask him in concern, observing him closely.
His brown eyes are glazed over and it’s as though he’s someplace else, somewhere I can’t reach him. I glance towards the television to see that he’s watching the news, its main headlines are being played across the screen but I see nothing of importance or concern. Nothing that should evoke such a response in him.
“N-nothing. It’s nothing.” He falters, shaking his head slightly.
“Tell me.” I urge him, taking hold of his hand in mine. “What have you seen? Why do you look so scared?”
“Seriously, it’s nothing.” He assures me, smiling feebly.
“Cole, tell me the truth.” I persist, relentless in my quest to find out what’s left him so unnerved.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“So just tell me.” I urge him, refusing to drop this.
“I just… I just saw myself on the news.” He murmurs softly, struggling to come to terms with the statement he just made.
“What are you talking about? What do you mean?”
“They’re all looking for me, Serena.” He stammers breathlessly. “The police… everyone.”
“Why?” I ask, crouching down in front of him in an attempt to make him look at me.
“Because of what I did.”
“And what did you do?” I ask him gently, tracing small circles against the back of his hand with my thumb.
“It’s all because of that bastard I hurt at school who said those things about you. They’re after me for what I did to him.”
“Cole…” I sigh wearily, closing my eyes in frustration. “I’ve asked you this before but now I need you to be honest with me. What did you do to him and how badly did you hurt him?”
He remains silent for several seconds, prolonging the anxiety that’s building up inside my chest.
“I did enough to put him in the hospital.” He replies soberly, lowering his head in shame.
His demeanour resembles that of a lost child, someone who is vulnerable, afraid and scared.
“Why
would you do that, Cole? How can you be capable of hurting someone like that?” I ask him, bewildered and distraught by the idea that the man I love has committed such an extreme act of violence.
Cole takes me by surprise when he jumps up onto his feet, pacing back and forth in front of me as he starts tugging on his hair in frustration.
“I don’t know how I’m capable, Serena! I just don’t know how or why I am the way I am! I told you when we first met that I’m a monster and I told you to stay away from me. Why the hell didn’t you listen?!”
He whirls around to face me, glowering at me with so much hatred and contempt. It’s enough to take my breath away and it forces me to stumble backwards in shock and trepidation. I realise I need to calm him, he’s losing sight of himself and the person he longs to be. He’s allowing himself to be consumed by the uncontrollable fury that’s coexisted with the goodness inside of him for such a long time.
“Cole, I need you to look at me. Look at me and listen to the sound of my voice, ok? You need to calm down and you need to let me help you do that. First of all I want you to tell me what it is they said about you on the news. What exactly did they say?”
His magnificent brown eyes remain locked on my own, slowly granting me the power to diffuse the situation and console him alongside his anger.
“A friend of mine told me what state the guy I hurt was in before I turned up at your house last night.” He reluctantly admits, taking deep breaths as he leans back against the wall behind him. “And that’s why I knew I had to leave. I knew I had to get the hell out of there before they caught up with me and that’s why I decided to run. “I’m eighteen now, Serena. That means I’m old enough to be arrested and I’m old enough to go to prison. I have enough convictions to get me sent down and I just know they’re going to throw the Goddamn book at me if they catch up with me.”
“My God this can’t be happening. Tell me this isn’t really happening.” I mumble incoherently, repeating myself over and over again.
“They’re saying I’m dangerous.” He continues, ignoring my own anxiety as he sinks even further and drowns in his own. “They’re even advising members of the public to avoid me. They’re making me out to be absolute monster and that’s not who I am!”
That Summer (Part Two) Page 2