He swings around and clenches his fist, driving it straight into the wall behind him. His violent outburst causes me to scream out in terror, covering my mouth with my hands.
“Cole, you need to calm down! You’re going to get us thrown out of here and we don’t have anywhere else to go!” I plead with him, begging him to see reason and listen to me.
“I don’t know what to do, Serena. I don’t know how I’m going to get us out of this and I don’t know how I’m supposed to protect you from it all when I’m the route of the fucking problem!”
His volume increases even more as his agitation reaches a new level of intensity. His breathing is heavy and his fists remain clenched as he strides over towards me, grabbing me by the shoulders as he pushes me backwards onto the bed.
“W-what are you doing?” I stammer, fighting against the arousal his dominance has just stirred up inside of me.
“Help me forget.” He whispers intensely, nuzzling against my neck as his lips caress my skin. “Help me disappear inside of you.”
“How do you expect me to do that?” I ask him, trembling and quivering uncontrollably beneath his touch.
“By allowing me to do this.” He growls, touching me between my legs with his hand.
I gasp, closing my eyes as I allow myself just a few seconds of pleasure. His touch is exquisite and my body is actually aching from the longing I feel deep down inside of me.
“Please…” I beg him. “Don’t.”
“Why?” He challenges me, circling his fingers against the most sensitive part of myself. “I know you like this and I know you want this just as much as I do.”
His T-shirt which I’m wearing has risen up, exposing the most intimate part of myself to him as well as the moisture which I can’t help escaping onto his fingers as he caresses me.
“N-no… I don’t.” I whimper, stammering over the lie I just told.
“You do.” He persists, taking hold of one of my wrists in his hand.
He’s preventing me from stopping him and as wrong as it is, it feels so incredible. I no longer have the ability or the desire to stop him and as sinful as I know us being together is… I simply can’t turn him away.
His hold is firm, relentless and demanding. He has no intention of letting me go and I can feel my defences are weakening against him as the seconds tick by. Our breathing is heavy and our shallow breaths mingle together, drawing us even closer towards the other person’s lips.
“Cole, we can’t do this. You know we can’t.” I whimper, circling my hips beneath him as I delight in his arousal which is pressing right against me.
“Please, Serena. I’m begging you… let me do this. Don’t stop me. I need this and I need you. I need you so badly.”
I can hear the desperation in his voice as he presses the weight of his body against mine. There is so much hurt and sadness in his voice, it’s enough to cause me a sharp and excruciating pain inside my chest. I long to comfort him and soothe his sadness as well as my own.
I can even feel his arousal and how turned on he is. This ignites my desire for him even more and I moan loudly, struggling to gain control over my instinctive reaction towards him.
“B-but we just can’t.” I wail “It’s wrong.”
“Says who? No one in the world knows the truth besides us.” He reminds me, groaning deeply as he starts to kiss my neck, moving my hair to the side so he can expose my sensitive skin to the soft touch of his lips.
I pause for several moments, debating whether or not I should tell him the truth about Lisa and the fact that I told her that Cole and I share the same father before we left. Cole deserves to know the truth but I also know how he’s going to react when he finds out I broke my promise and told someone our secret.
“Cole, there’s something I have to tell you.” I confess, breaking myself away from his touch. “Someone else does know the truth.”
“What did you say? Who? What are you talking about?” Cole asks, glaring down at me in disbelief.
“I told Lisa.” I admit. “I told her before we left.”
“You did what?” He says incredulously.
“I didn’t mean to.” I reply, trying to remove myself from the bed and his relentless grasp. “It just sort of slipped out.”
“How the hell does something like that just slip out?” He demands furiously, refusing to let go of me so I can no longer put any distance between us. “Do you realise what you’ve done? Do you realise how serious this is? Do you know what will happen to us if it gets out that we’re related?”
“I know! I know all of that but you have to remember that when I told her I didn’t know we would be leaving. I didn’t know the police would be after you or that we’d be forced to go into hiding. I needed someone to talk to and she is my best friend.”
“She isn’t.” He growls menacingly, taking hold of my face in his hands. “She doesn’t mean anything to you now, neither one of us has anyone or anything but each other and that’s the way it has to stay from now on, do you understand?”
“W-what do you mean?” I ask him. “You’re not making any sense and you’re starting to scare me.”
I use all of my strength to push him off me and make my way across the room. I can’t help myself from cowering in the corner, wondering what has happened to the man in front of me. This savage behaviour makes him unrecognisable to me and I ache for the Cole I want him to be.
“Baby, I’m sorry.” He apologises, noticing my discomfort.
“Keep away from me, Cole.” I warn him, needing him to stay back.
He holds his hands out to me in a sign of surrender, careful and cautious as he climbs off the bed and starts to approach me.
“I don’t want you to be afraid of me… not ever.” He whispers softly, walking towards me as though he’s afraid I might run from him.
“This is such a mess.” I murmur, covering my face with my hands as I try and hold back my tears.
“I know it is, baby. I know I’ve screwed up everything but I promise you I’m going to make this right. I’ll take care of everything, Serena and most importantly, I’ll take care of you.”
He reaches out for me with one of his hands, pulling me towards him until we’re standing close. We’re chest to chest and I swear I can feel the beat of his heart against my own.
“Cole, there are some things you can’t put right, some things we can’t erase and certain incidents which we can’t run away from… no matter how much we want to.” I explain softly, lifting up my green eyes to look at him.
“Everything is going to be alright. Everything will be fine.” He assures me, forcing his voice to sound optimistic and certain. “Lisa is your friend and that means she’s not going to tell anybody about this, is she? She’ll keep it to herself and if we wait long enough, the hype about finding me will die down and the police will stop looking.”
I nod my head slowly. It’s obvious that neither one of us truly believes in what he just said. We both know that the chances of a positive outcome for either one of us or our current situation is unlikely.
But for now… we choose to pretend.
“You’re right. Everything will be ok if we just wait it out. All we have to do is wait.” I agree blindly, brushing by him so I can take a seat on the bed.
“That’s right. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Serena. You don’t have to be afraid ever again now that I’m here to protect you.” He kneels down in front of me and strokes my hair back from my face. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I say, smiling weakly as I take hold of his hand. “But that doesn’t change our present situation or the problems we’re both facing. What are we going to do, Cole?”
“I’ll get a job and support us both. I’ll work twenty-four hours a day if I have to.” He states firmly, clearly determined and resolute.
“How are you going to get a job without references?” I ask him. “How on earth are you going to get a job without all the legal documentation you’re su
pposed to have?”
“I don’t know but I’ll make it happen. You’re my family now and I’m yours. We’re all the other person has and we need to stick together.”
As isolating as this sounds, a part of me knows he is right. Without Cole I am nothing and as terrified as I am, there is still so much comfort to be sought from the fact that we are in this together.
It’s us against the world and I’m completely ready. I’m ready to fight and I’m prepared to take on anyone and anything that stands in our way.
Chapter Three
The next morning is Sunday and our second day spent in the awful motel we sought refuge in on our first on the run. Cole and I fell fast asleep after our row yesterday morning and didn’t wake up until six o’clock that night. We both woke up starving and quickly got dressed before heading out to find a place to eat.
We ended up stumbling across a quaint little café which actually served up the most delicious food. We were so, so hungry, neither one of us spoke throughout our meal and only when the waitress cleared away our empty plates did we start to discuss where we plan on going next.
“I think our best bet is if we head down south.” Cole stated, taking hold of my hand in his as we left the café to begin our walk back to the motel.
“You mean London?” I asked, feeling daunted by the prospect of moving to such a huge city.
“Yeah, it will be so much easier for us to get lost down there and staying up North will make it far too easy for the police to find us.” He explained, tightening the protective grip he had on my hand.
“I still can’t believe they’re actually looking for us. I can’t even believe we’re really on the run.” I added, still struggling to comprehend such a horrifying fact.
“It’s me they want, Serena. They won’t harm you.”
“Cole, it’s the same thing. They probably think of me an accomplice or whatever it is that they call it.”
“An accomplice?” He chuckled, coming to a standstill so he could face me.
“You know what I mean...” I groaned, avoiding his bemused gaze.
“Listen, there’s something I need to tell you.” Cole continued, pausing for a moment. “It’s nothing major but before we left, I received my test results from the clinic.”
My stomach flipped as I felt a wave of nausea creep over me. I really didn’t think I could stand to hear any more bad news at that moment.
“And…?” I prompted him impatiently.
“They were all clear.”
I exhaled loudly, breathing a sigh of relief. At least I could be grateful that Cole’s sexual health was no longer a potential problem for us.
“Cole, that’s great news. I’m so pleased for you.” I said happily.
“They did remind me that it’s not a hundred percent clear until it’s been three months.”
“Three months since what?”
“Since… since I last had sex.” He murmured quietly, lowering his gaze to the ground as we continued walking.
“Oh, I see.” I whispered, fighting against the unwanted images which were sneaking into my mind.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know it’s not something you want to think about.”
“You’re right, it’s not.” I replied curtly, removing my hand from his grasp.
“Serena, wait. There’s something else I want to ask you.” He spoke firmly, taking hold of my arm so he could turn me around. “Did… did you start taking them?”
“Taking what?” I asked him, completely oblivious to what he was referring to.
“Your contraceptive pills, the ones the doctor gave you.”
“No, of course not.” I assured him. “I had no reason to.”
“Did you at least bring them with you?” He demanded, taking hold of my shoulders.
“Funnily enough, they were the last thing on my mind when we decided to run away in the middle of the night.” I retorted with sarcasm.
His silence spoke volumes and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to ask him why it mattered.
“Why is it so important? Why should I have brought them with me?”
“Why do you think it matters?” He challenged me, struggling to conceal his frustration.
“You expect me to sleep with you?!” I cried, shoving my palms against his chest in an attempt to put some distance between us.
“Serena, you know it’s not like that. I’m just being realistic. You and I came dangerously close to letting something happen between us this morning and I just don’t want to risk that happening again… not when I know what the consequences might be.”
“Believe me when I say that it will not be happening again.” I reminded him coldly, fighting the undeniable heat his touch was already stirring up inside of me. “Cole, we really need to keep our distance from each other. We have to make sure that nothing happens.”
“How the hell do you expect me to do that when we’re sleeping in the same bed?” He yelled, refusing to relinquish the hold he had on my small frame.
“I-I can sleep on the floor.” I offered, desperate and frantic.
“Don’t be ridiculous and unrealistic.” He scoffed harshly. “Us being together is inevitable and the sooner you accept that, the easier things will be.”
“Cole, how on earth can you expect us to be together when we know what we know? It’s just not possible.”
“You really think you have the strength to fight this? You actually believe you’re going to be able to resist what it is that we have? That’s what is going to be impossible, Green. I can guarantee you that.”
Hearing him call me by that name, the name he game to me when we first met was enough to melt my heart and I found myself taking hold of his hand when he offered it to me once more, walking back to the motel together in silence.
We fell right asleep as soon as we got back to our motel room and slept soundly all night. I feel remarkably well rested as I wake up beside Cole this morning, turning over in bed so I can watch him sleep.
He looks so peaceful with his eyes closed. All the worry and the stress he’s been carrying has vanished, leaving a youthful and childlike expression on his face. I long to see him like this all the time and can only hope for the day I might see contentment such as this during his waking hours.
“Quit staring at me while I sleep.” He mumbles tiredly, surprising me when he opens his eyes.
“I wasn’t!” I exclaim loudly, covering my embarrassed face with my hands. “Ok, maybe I was just a little but how did you know?”
“I know everything about you, Serena.” He answers simply, interlacing our fingers as he places a soft kiss against my forehead.
“Even when you’re asleep?” I ask incredulously.
“Even then.” He states with confidence.
I consider what I’m about to say next, hoping I haven’t picked the wrong moment to challenge what he has planned for us.
“Cole, I really think we need to take some time and figure out what we’re going to do next. How much longer are we going to stay here?” I ask him, frantic in my quest to find out his reply.
Cole turns to face me, pulling me in close so I’m safe and protected in his arms.
“I promise you that last night was the final one you have to spend in this grubby motel. I know I should have found you someplace nicer but I just panicked when we left. I didn’t think you would decide to come with me in a million years and that’s why I was so hasty when it came to finding us a location to hide.”
“Cole, I’m not blaming you. It’s just… I associate so many bad thoughts and feelings with this motel now. I don’t want to be here anymore, not when we could be someplace else starting our future.”
“When you say our future, what exactly do you mean?” He enquires hesitantly.
“Look, I know what I said and what I’ve been saying since we found out the truth. I’ve been trying so hard fighting to come up with excuses why we can’t be together but that’s because I’ve been far too afraid of bei
ng honest. How I feel about you hasn’t changed and I’m still in love with you, Cole. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to stop fighting it.”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to.” He sighs wearily, stroking his fingers through my hair. “I don’t even want you to try.”
“B-but us being together… it’s wrong.” I persist, still struggling with the idea of entering into any kind of relationship with Cole now I know we share the same father.
“Who says so?” He demands harshly. “The society we live in? The law? Or the police? What right does anyone have to tell another person who they can or can’t be with? We met and fell in love without knowing the truth about one another and by the time we found out, it was too late. None of this is our fault and you have to remember that it will always be our secret, Serena. No one will ever know what we do.”
“Except Lisa already does.” I remind him.
“I wish I could change that but I can’t. Neither one of us can turn back time and take back the things we’ve said or done. All we can do now is pray that she will keep her mouth shut.”
“I’m sure she won’t say anything.” I say doubtfully.
“You can’t be certain about anything, not now. I’m the only one you can depend on, Green. You have to accept that and don’t forget it.”
We leave the motel a couple of hours later, collecting our small amount of belongings before we check out. I have no idea where we’re going but Cole assures me he already has a new place in-store for us.
I make my way over to the car which we drove here in, the same one that Cole stole the night we left but he doesn’t follow me.
“We can’t take that, Serena.”
“Why not?”
“Because the police will be looking for it by now. They’ll track down the registration plate if we take it out on the road and it’s too risky.”
“So how are we going to get around without a car?” I question him, horrified by the thought of walking on foot.
“We’ll get a cab, one which we can flag down off the street so there’s no trace of us later on.”
That Summer (Part Two) Page 3