That Summer (Part Two)

by Lauren Crossley

  “How can I ever make it up to you?” He asks, pleading with me to tell him.

  “By living a good life. No more fighting, no more violence and keep up with your medication if that’s what your doctor advises. Some therapy sessions might be a good idea as well.”

  “I see my new therapist once a week. He somehow manages to see the best in me when all I can see is darkness.”

  He lowers his head with sadness but I place my fingers underneath his chin, forcing him to look at me directly.

  “Let me help you… I’ll do my very best to make the darkness disappear. I promise you that.”

  “You already have.” He says quietly, smiling weakly.

  The next few days pass by so quickly, they all seem to blur into one. I wake up each morning and find that Annette has my breakfast ready on the table for me. Cole always goes out for his morning paper and comes back around half nine in time to join me in the kitchen.

  I then go upstairs and take delight in the luxurious walk-in shower which Cole had installed for me. Most days have been spent exploring the grounds of my new home and familiarising myself with the latest technology which exists in every room. I found the plasma TV’s extremely complicated to figure out at first but I’m slowly getting better when it comes to Cole’s modern gadgets which equip our new home.

  Our evening strolls through the spacious fields are my favourite. We tend to watch the sunset in the same spot on an evening and I honestly believe that it would be impossible for me to be any happier than this. My life feels… complete and I know that doesn’t come from having an exquisite house or a breath-taking view each night.

  It’s because of Cole.

  I can’t believe I ever thought I could exist without him. I don’t see how I managed to convince myself that a life without him would be simpler. I guess I was in denial and it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that Cole and I cannot be apart.

  I’ve rarely venture outside the front gate but when I have, Cole has stuck by me every second. We went out for a meal one evening and I could see in his eyes that he thought I would run. I knew he wouldn’t stop me if I tried but it would certainly destroy him. There’s a part of Cole which will always be broken and I don’t kid myself that I can fix that. What I am aware of is that I somehow manage to ease his pain.

  I don’t try and understand the complexities of our messed up relationship but I now acknowledge that our lives will always intertwine. Whether we are living side by side or there are a thousand miles between us, our connection will remain. It is pointless fighting it when I realise that this sacred time we spend together may not last.

  The police could find us out at any moment and the threat of that is something we both must contend with if we plan on being together. It’s a threat which looms over us each and every day, working its way inside our harmonious home life and disrupting our peaceful solitude on a daily basis.

  I send Lisa a text a few days later, providing her with a list of reasons why I decided to leave town and start afresh somewhere new. She was frantic at first, bombarding me with phone calls and demanding that I meet up with her so she could see for herself that I really am alive and well.

  I spoke to her a few days later and somehow convinced her that the decision to leave everything behind me was my own idea. I lied and told her it had nothing to do with Cole, hating myself for being so deceitful to my oldest friend.

  Cole promised me that we can go back there someday but right now we can’t risk it. I understand that Natalie will be suspicious and that means I’ll have to lie to her when she starts wondering where I am and why I barely keep in touch anymore.

  My sacrifices are immense but all of them are worth it. If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with Cole then I am willing to do anything.

  Cole and I were curled up on the sofa one night when he finally asked me about our father, wondering if I still stayed in contact with him after everything that transpired.

  “He wanted to see me when I returned home and I was living with Lisa and her family.” I admitted, recalling the amount of times I had received letters from my estranged father.

  “And did you meet up with him?”

  “I couldn’t.” I told him, staring into the dazzling flames of the log fire in front of us. “Not after I found out about you. It just didn’t feel right.”

  The comforting heat from the fire warmed my entire body. The blaze and the vibrancy from its flare was captivating and I found it difficult to tear my eyes away from it.

  “He tried to see me when I was in prison but I rejected every one of his visits. I blamed him for everything and it wasn’t until I started seeing my therapist that I started to let go of some the anger I felt for him.” Cole confessed, watching me closely.

  “He’s never been a significant part of our lives.” I reminded him, bringing the conversation about our father to a close. “I don’t see why he should be now.”

  “I agree.”

  “What about your mum?” I probed with caution.

  “I haven’t seen her since I went to prison. She didn’t reach out or try and visit so I can only presume that she wanted nothing to do with the entire thing… including me.”

  There was a hint of sorrow in his voice and I longed to reach out and ease some of the pain he had been carrying for so long.

  “It was the same with mine. She was just looking for an excuse to get rid of me. She knew my dad would stop paying her money as soon as I turned eighteen so I guess she was glad when I decided to go and live with Lisa and her family.”

  “You know it will be different if we ever have kids.” He said, speaking with confidence.

  “Cole, you know that isn’t possible.”

  “Why not?”

  “You know why!” I proclaimed angrily. “We have no right to do that to a child, especially when we know all the things that could go wrong. It would be selfish.”

  “It would be selfish of us to give our child a two loving, doting and protective parents?” He challenged me incredulously.

  “It would be selfish of us to risk his or her health for the sake of starting a family. You don’t know what complications might be involved when two people who are related go onto have children.”

  “I’m never going to be able to get you to change your mind, am I?” He asked, rubbing his forehead to ease some of the tension.

  “That’s right.”

  I made sure I sounded certain, leaving no room for doubt or confusion.

  “Alright then.” He sighed dejectedly. “I’ll admit defeat… for now.”

  Chapter Ten

  I’ve been living with Cole for four weeks now but we’ve still not slept together. We sleep in separate rooms because I guess Cole doesn’t think he would be able to handle sleeping in the same bed as me without doing anything.

  I’ve been holding back because I remember what the consequences were after the first and only time we had sex. The guilt and shame which consumed me back then was enough to convince that I should phone the police and I’ve been living alongside the ramifications of that phone call ever since.

  It nearly destroyed us and the fear of something similar happening again is enough to deter me from taking it any further again with Cole.

  He’s been understanding so far but I can see that the tension is getting to him. We’re living in such close proximity that it seems unnatural for us to part ways when we go to bed.

  That’s where I am right now and it’s driving me insane to know he’s just along the corridor in one of the other rooms. I’m fighting against every single instinct that I have to climb out of bed and join him.

  Without thinking, I creep out of bed and make my way across the bedroom, opening the door quietly. I don’t know what time it is but I know it’s late. The house is silent and the only sound which can be heard is the hammering of my heart inside my chest.

  There is no going back once I enter Cole’s bedroom and I’m aware that we’ll both h
ave to live with the repercussions of what takes place tonight. However, I’m so incredibly aroused at this point that I no longer care, willing to risk absolutely everything for one night with the man who has drove me insane for the past three years. The man I no longer believe I could actually exist without.

  The same one I pretend with each day.

  The one I convince myself is no longer forbidden…

  I knock lightly on his door, deciding to go on back to my own room if there’s no answer. I start to second guess myself and turn around when Cole’s door open and I’m caught red handed.

  “Are you ok?” He asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes while stifling a yawn,

  “I-I’m fine.” I stammer nervously, tugging on the hem of Cole’s large T-shirt.

  I’ve slept in it every night since I move in but now I feel exposed and I shift from one foot to the other as I feel my cheeks turning crimson with embarrassment.

  “What’s wrong? Did you hear a noise or something?”

  “No, I… I just…”

  “Just what?”

  “I wanted to be with you.” I admit, averting my gaze to the floor beneath me.

  There’s a moment of silence between us while I wait for his response, realising how idiotic my last statement just made me sound.

  “You mean…?”

  “Yes.” I blurt out hastily. “You know what I mean.”

  He exhales slowly, resembling someone who can’t quite believe what they just heard. He strokes his thumb along the length of his jawline, considering something.

  “Come here.”

  I wait a couple of seconds before I follow his instruction and cross the hallway until I’m standing right in front of him. He places his fingers underneath my chin, tilting my face up towards his.

  “What now?” I enquire timidly.

  “Kiss me.”

  “W-what?”

  “You came to my room, Serena. If you want something from me, you better take it.”

  He smirks at me and waits, challenging me to make the first move. He’s taunting and playful at the same time which is an exasperating combination when you’re on the receiving end of it.

  “I can’t.” I complain in annoyance. “I… I don’t know how to.”

  “You do know.” Cole insists, refusing to give in. “Just do what coms natural.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.” I scoff, rolling my eyes in his direction.

  “You’re going to be sorry if you don’t kiss me in five seconds.” He warns, taking a step closer towards me. “One… two… three… four…”

  I throw my arms around his neck and crush my mouth against his before he reaches number five, moaning with pleasure when I feel his mouth open and I slip my tongue inside. His arms circle my waist, tugging me in close so our chests meet. I can feel his heartbeat against my skin and knowing he wants this just as much as I do spurs me on even further.

  We somehow make inside his bedroom where he removes his own shirt before he slips mine over my head.

  “You know that’s yours, right?” I whisper, smiling at the way he discarded it without any thought.

  “You look incredible in it but I want you naked.” He growls, pushing me down onto the bed.

  I watch him remove his boxer shorts, revealing how badly he wants me and how aroused he is. Without thinking, I take him in my mouth and wrap my lips around him. He groans with pleasure, fisting one of his hands in my hair as he controls my movements. My tongue swirls around him and I moan, demanding more of him as I continue to please him.

  He takes me by surprise when he places a hand on my shoulder, putting a stop to what I was doing. He turns me around so that I’m on my hands and knees with Cole behind me, pleasuring me with his own tongue and lips. I scream loudly, thrusting my hips back and forth as I experience ecstasy for the first time in years.

  No one has touched me since Cole and I’m so glad I remained true to him. I can’t even imagine being intimate like this with someone else and know it’s because there’s only ever been him. He’s the one and only man I have ever yearned for and as much as our society or even the law will tell me that it’s wrong, nothing will convince me that it’s true.

  Cole makes love to me that night and it’s beyond anything I can ever describe. He refuses to tear his eyes away from me and watches my facial expressions the entire time. We are urgent during some parts and others we are slower, savouring every single moment because we still fear the day we are torn apart.

  My legs wrap around his waist as he thrusts himself inside of me, causing me to feel an inexplicable mixture of pain and pleasure. He takes from my body what he needs and in return he provides me with everything I have ever wanted. Our souls connect as our bodies meet, joined together by our need for completion and desire.

  “You feel incredible.” He groans, trailing kisses down my neck. “Nothing is quite as perfect as you are.”

  “Don’t leave me.” I whisper, curling my fingers in his hair so I can force him to look at me. “Don’t leave me alone again.”

  “I swear to you I won’t. You’re mine forever.”

  Afterwards, we remain tangled in each other’s arms, sleeping soundly for the first time in years. I understand that what we have right now and what we’ve just shared might not last forever. We’ve built our idyllic life together on quick sand and sooner or later the foundations which we’ve created something so extraordinary will be demolished.

  I just hope we can survive the destruction…

  The following night there’s a thunderous storm, one which has been looming all day. It circles the house with its mournful cry, howling down the chimney so the flames of the fire flicker and tremble with each gust of wind.

  The frightening roar increases as the night goes on, swirling through the expansive grounds which surround the house like a terrifying monstrosity, unwavering in its intent to devour everything in its path.

  “Serena, I’m going to have to go out and get some supplies. We’re running really low on groceries, not to mention milk, logs for the fire and money which I need to give Annette tomorrow morning.” Cole informs me, grabbing his car keys off the kitchen counter.

  “What are you saying? You want us to go out in this weather?” I exclaim incredulously.

  “Not you. I’m the only one who’s going out there.” He says firmly. “I’ll be back in half an hour, I promise.”

  “But you can’t leave me here by myself.”

  “I’ll lock the door behind me and I’ll close the electric gates. The entire house is secure. I’ll even activate the burglar alarm until I get back.” He assures me, reaching for his jacket.

  “Does that mean I can’t get out?” I ask him, not sure if I like the idea of being locked in.

  “It just means you can let me in when I get back but no one can even attempt to break in here without this pager going off.” He tells me, showing me a small device which he places in his back pocket.

  “I don’t even want to think about someone trying to get in here.” I tremble, crossing my arms defensively.

  “Baby, no one will try. I just want you to feel safe until I get back. Now keep your phone with you and call me every five minutes if you have to. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  He makes his way towards the front door and opens it, revealing the true extent of the tumultuous chaos which is going on outside. Raindrops are pelting down with a vengeance, reigning down against the windows like small pebbles. The sky is black and the clouds are drawing even closer. There’s something extremely disconcerting and almost… foreboding about them, threatening to swoop down and demolish.

  “Cole, it’s really not safe for you to be out driving in this.”

  “I’ll be fine.” He promises, squeezing my hand tightly. “I’ll be right back.”

  He kisses my forehead and gives me one more of his dazzling smiles, assuring me that everything will be alright.

  I watch him get into his car and pull out of the drivew
ay, turning right before he disappears down the narrow lane. I close the door behind me and make sure that it’s locked. Deciding to keep myself occupied while he’s gone, I make my way into the kitchen and switch on the kettle.

  It must have only been five minutes when a frantic hammering on the front door can be heard. I jump up from the sofa, spilling my hot cup of coffee everywhere. I’m certain it won’t be Cole because he would have phoned to say he was on his way home. I also know he wouldn’t frighten me by banging on the door like that.

  The first instinct that I have is to run and hide but that thought is soon erased when I hear a female voice coming from the other side of the front door.

  “Cole, please let me in! I need to talk to you!” The mysterious woman yells, persistent and desperate.

  “W-who is it?” I ask, struggling to hide my fear.

  “It’s Fiona. Is Cole there? I know he lives here.” She replies, sounding desolate and lost.

  “What do you want?”

  “Please… I’m begging you. Let me inside and I’ll explain everything.”

  “He’s not here right now.” I reply, wondering what on earth I’m supposed to do.

  “Can I come in and wait? I swear I’ll leave as soon as I’ve spoken to him.”

  “I think I should call him first.” I answer, grabbing my phone off the coffee table.

  “I’m begging you… let me in first.” She pleads with me once more, softening my resolve against letting her inside.

  Acting on my instincts, I unlock the door and swing it open, taking in the petite blonde girl in front of me. She’s absolutely soaked and can’t stop shivering. She has nothing except a small handbag which she clutches tightly, as though I might steal it from her at any moment.

  “Come in.”

  I widen the door for her so she can step inside and I observe her closely. Her eyes take in the opulent furnishings and splendour of the living room, clearly amazed by the affluence to which I’ve become accustomed over the past few weeks.

  “Thank you for doing this.” She trembles, turning around to face me.

  “It’s fine. I just want to know who you are.” I persevere, compelled to find out the identity of this woman.