We kissed again, and this time Libby’s mouth drifted to my neck and ears. Butterflies swarmed my belly and goose bumps rose on my arms. I was turned on, for the very first time in my life. A giggle escaped my lips as I took in the sensation of her touch. Tears fell as I realized who I was…for the very first time in my life. I wasn’t some strange girl who was incapable of emotions, of romance or of love. I was just a girl who didn’t know myself yet.
But with Libby, I was learning who Claudia Mansour was. I was someone who was capable of love, whose world was being flipped upside down in the best possible way. Deep down, I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride as I discovered myself.
But I was ready to buckle up.
Chapter 13
Seriously?
Sunny
Mid–December, an extremely cold Friday
Study sessions were the worst. Seriously. Our teaching assistant seemed to have the best of intentions, he really did. But honestly, everything our TA reviewed this morning in bio was all in my notes. Hearing him regurgitate it for an hour really didn’t help any of us. Or at least, people like me who took decent notes.
Obviously, I had major PMS, like big-time. My period was due during exams. Seriously? My first college finals and I’d have my monthly visitor along for the ride? Not fair.
To top it all off, I was running low on tampons. Despite the frigid weather, a trip to the drugstore was absolutely necessary since both my friends were running low as well. It had been scientifically proven that the monthly cycles of women who lived together tended to sync up. And we were all definitely synced up, so there was no sense trying to borrow any tampons from them.
I asked Grace to join me on my drugstore trek so we could talk. Claudia had been MIA most of the week, presumably over at Libby’s place, which was pretty strange. I’d been thinking a lot about Claudia’s odd behavior and had developed a theory about Libby, but was afraid that if I was wrong, Claudia would be so angry with me, she’d never speak to me again. And if I was right, then it had to be something Claudia told me herself. And no amount of PMS was going to make me push her into revealing something she was obviously not ready to share.
When I shared my thoughts with Grace as we walked, my words coming out in puffy clouds in the frigid cold, she didn’t share my theory.
“No way,” she said. “That’s impossible. Claudia? I don’t think so.”
I felt kind of silly when Grace shot down my theory. But I was following my gut, and this was what it said. I stared down at the sidewalk as we continued walking down Green Street to the drugstore.
“I think we’re just getting dumped. That’s all,” Grace said.
“No,” I said, freezing in place. “She’s not dropping us. She wouldn’t do that.”
“Sunny, we all just met at the beginning of the semester. We got really close really fast, but that doesn’t mean we’ll always stay that way,” Grace said. “Maybe Libby is—”
“That’s the thing—we don’t know anything about her. Claudia keeps her far away from us. There’s more to this, Grace.”
“Then ask her,” she said.
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head. “She needs to tell us, if and when she wants us to know.”
“I guess,” she said with a dismissive shrug. “That would be weird, though. Wouldn’t it?”
“I don’t care either way. I just want my friend back.”
“I know, I miss her too,” Grace said as she pulled open the door of the drugstore. “I’m going to look at the makeup. Meet you up front?”
“Sure, meet you in a few,” I said, walking to the feminine hygiene aisle. I grabbed a box each of tampons and pads, walking slowly down the magazine aisle on my way back to the register. There was no cashier to be found and Grace was still shopping, so I grabbed a magazine to skim while waiting at the front.
I placed my items on the counter, along with a pack of gum. Just as I was getting engrossed in the article I was reading, I heard Grace’s voice coming from the candy aisle.
“Um, Sunny…”
I couldn’t read the expression on her face, but it was clear she wasn’t looking at me; she was looking behind me. When I turned around, I saw the cashier had returned to the register.
Standing behind the counter was a familiar face. The very last person I would want to ring up my purchases.
Sawyer.
“Oh my God,” I said before pressing my hand to my mouth.
Sawyer’s brow knitted in confusion until he glanced down at the counter. When he saw the tampons, he quickly scanned them, then the pads, and put them in a bag before looking back at me.
“Sunny,” he said after clearing his throat.
“You work here?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Just started this week. It’s close to the house and it pays well.”
“Wow, okay.” I pushed the pack of gum and magazine toward him.
His fingers brushed mine as he took them from me. That simple touch reminded me of the feelings I had pushed down low inside myself. Damn it, I wanted to feel that way again.
“Your total is $14.96,” he said and placed my bag on the counter. “So, how have you been?”
“Fine,” I said with a nod, trying not to let him see how uncomfortable he was making me.
“Listen, um…can we, uh, start over?”
I said nothing, not sure what to say.
Grace nudged me in the arm.
“Ow,” I said, glaring at her before turning back to Sawyer. “Yeah, um, sure.”
“Can I call you sometime?”
Grace nudged me again, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. She wanted me to invite Sawyer to Max’s upcoming party. But that was not about to happen. With the luck I was having that day, he’d show up with his girlfriend and my whole night would be ruined.
“Sure. Do you still have my number?” I was trying desperately to sound casual and nonchalant, like I really didn’t care at all whether he called me or not. Like I didn’t care if he still had a girlfriend.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Text me,” I said. Take that, Lost Boy. You’ve been downgraded to texting. “See ya.”
Grace left her things behind and followed me out of the store. “Sunny, wait,” she said, pulling her wool hat over her head.
“Grace, what are you doing? Where’s your stuff?”
“I left it. No big deal. Are you okay? Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because I nudged you. I thought maybe I pushed too hard or something.” Grace put a hand to her mouth and started to nibble at her nails.
“No, that’s not it. I mean, yeah, kinda.”
“Sorry.” She scrunched up her face, then abandoned the nail-biting and slipped on her gloves.
“No, it’s fine,” I assured her. “But there’s no way I’m inviting him tonight.”
Grade shrugged. “You don’t have to. It was just…ya know, a thought. I know you really like him.”
“I know, but—good Lord, I’ve never even been on a real date with the guy and he has me all screwed up. If I date him, he’ll destroy me.”
“Don’t say that,” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. “He obviously likes you. You keep turning him down, but he doesn’t give up.”
“True. Or maybe he just has stalker tendencies,” I said with a touch of sarcasm.
“Whatever,” she said.
“But tampons? Seriously? I was buying tampons and pads.”
“And gum,” Grace added.
“Can’t forget that,” I said, rolling my eyes. I looked up at the sky, stopping dead in my tracks. “Seriously? Seriously!”
“Sun, look at it this way. It could’ve been condoms.”
“You’re hilarious.”
“I’m so serious. Can you imagine? That would’ve shut him up for sure.”
“I don’t want to shut him up,” I said, finally admitting it out loud.
“I know you don’t.
” She took my hand in hers. “And that’s okay.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?” she asked. “He’s not a bad guy. He was honest about his girlfriend.”
I gave her a mock glare. “After we met, after we had coffee.”
“So he was confused. He’s human.” Grace shrugged. “I know you want the fairy tale, Sun, but I don’t think either of us is getting rescued.”
“Ugh, that’s depressing,” I said, and threw up my hands. “Come on, it’s freezing. Let’s get home.”
Chapter 14
Pouring Rain
Grace
December, the last weekend before finals
“Come on in, ladies,” Max said as he opened the door to his place. Music blasted through the speakers as members of our business fraternity mingled throughout the small apartment, drinks in hand.
“Gracie Lou,” he said, taking my coat. “How are you?”
“Pretty good,” I said.
“Where’s the keg?” Claudia asked, looking past Max.
I had to stop myself from telling her she was being rude. Sunny and I half expected her to bail on tonight’s party, so we were treading lightly when it came to Claudia. But I had a feeling Sunny was about to run out of patience and a few beers might encourage her to speak her mind.
Sunny could definitely be confrontational. Claudia was usually the most outspoken of the three of us, but she’d been so quiet lately. And since Wednesday night, she’d been acting more like herself. More relaxed, more…I don’t know, at peace? Maybe she was just ready to get her finals over and done with so she could see her family. All I knew was that I had no plans to push her about her behavior. I just wanted to have a good night. Plus, I was trying to keep my mind off Ross, who I was planning to see the following day.
“In the kitchen,” Max said. “You need to catch up. They’re playing Quarters at the table, and there’s a group playing Three Man in the living room. Pick a game and you’ll catch up real quick.”
“Will do,” Sunny said.
The thought of seeing Sawyer was really bothering her. Sunny was obviously afraid to let him in again, but I saw the way he looked at her. The guy was into her in a big way. I might have been terrible at reading guys’ intentions toward me, but not toward my friends.
“C’mon, let’s get a drink,” I said, linking arms with Sunny and walking to the kitchen.
“Here,” Claudia said, passing us each a beer.
“Thanks.” I narrowed my eyes at her, trying hard to figure her out. “Wanna play Quarters?”
“Nah,” Claudia said and glanced down at her phone. “I think I’m going to walk around a little. Be back in a few.”
She was texting on her phone as she left the kitchen. Sunny rolled her eyes and I shrugged.
“Quarters?” I asked Sunny with a smile.
“You got it,” she said.
Turned out, I was not good at that game. I went head-to-head with Max and was totally destroyed, having to polish off two beers within five minutes. I had to admit, I was feeling pretty fantastic as I handed the quarter to Sunny, letting her have a turn.
I’d heard that beer was an acquired taste, and I had to agree. Every time I drank it, it was like I had to start all over again trying to like it. But the more I drank, the better it tasted, and the easier it was to drink it. I had to admit, the third one went down smooth. Like, really smooth.
“Hi, Grace,” a voice said behind me. I knew that voice. Instinctively, I looked down at my shoes.
“Trevor, hi,” I said.
He noticed my glance toward my footwear and turned beet red. “I’m sober, I promise. No puking for me tonight,” he said with a nervous laugh.
His sandy brown hair was spiked up in the front, and his brown eyes looked wide and earnest as he stood across from me. Trevor was one of those nerdy-cute guys, and I had a big-time weakness for nerdy-cutes. His body was thin and fit; he was probably a swimmer or basketball player. He didn’t have a lot of muscles, which didn’t bother me at all, but his stomach looked rock hard. I wondered what it would be like to touch it.
“Did you want a beer?” I asked, biting my lower lip.
“Yeah, I, uh…I’ll pace myself this time, I promise,” he said with a laugh.
“I need an opponent,” Sunny said, her quarter in hand. “Max needs a break.”
“Refill time,” Max said. “And I should check on the playlist.”
“What do you say, Trevor?” Sunny asked with a smile. “You up for it?”
“Sure, but I should warn you…I’m like really good at this game.”
“Challenge accepted.” Sunny gave him a grin and gestured for him to cross to the other side of the table.
“I’ll get you a beer,” I offered, pumping beer from the keg into a red cup and placing it next to him.
While I was at it, I filled my own. Seeing Trevor was making me all kinds of anxious. I hadn’t really thought about him since developing my crush on Ross. But seeing him here, I could feel something between us and wanted to be near him, to get to know him better. Or maybe that was my buzz talking.
Trevor wasn’t lying. He didn’t miss once, causing Sunny to drink heavily. When Trevor wasn’t looking, or started to talk to someone else in the kitchen, Sunny would pass the drink to me and I’d help her guzzle her beer. By the time their match ended, I was more than tipsy.
I was downright drunk. And it felt great. At first.
“Trevor!” I yelled, because I always yell when I’m drunk. Like a lot. It was weird since I’m normally the shy and soft-spoken one among my friends. “Let’s dance!”
“Okay.” He grinned, then took my hand in his and led me to the living room, where a crowd had gathered. The music was blasting and the bass thumped through the speakers. Trevor placed his hands on my waist and we moved together, almost in sync. At least, that was how my fuzzy brain interpreted it. We laughed and continued to drink our beer as club songs rang through the apartment.
But then the room felt hot, like someone had raised the thermostat by at least ten degrees. Sweat formed on my neck and a strange, euphoric haze ran through me. My stomach flipped and I knew exactly what was about to happen.
“Grace? You okay?” Trevor asked, holding on to my arm.
“Oh no,” I muttered. “Bathroom. I need the bathroom.”
“Come on,” he said, guiding me through the crowd, pushing people gently to the side as I held my hand over my mouth, hoping to get to the toilet in time.
The door was closed when we approached.
“Shit, hold on,” Trevor said, banging on the door. “It’s an emergency. Whoever’s in there, c’mon. Time’s up.”
I could feel my stomach contracting; my time was running out. Just when I began to panic, worried that I’d end up puking on Trevor’s feet as he’d done to mine weeks before, the door to the bathroom opened. A guy and girl exited the room, the girl wiping her lips and the guy buttoning his jeans.
“Nice,” Trevor said sarcastically, turning on the light and lifting the seat of the toilet.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks, I’ll, um…find you later,” I said, pulling my hair back into my hand.
Trevor took my hair in his hand. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right here.”
I knelt down and Trevor sat behind me, my hair in his hands, rubbing my back softly as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I groaned and moaned into the disgusting bowl between retches. Each time I finished a round of vomiting, Trevor would reach over and flush the toilet for me, giving me a break from the odor. When I finally finished heaving, he stretched his legs out and allowed me to lay my head on his thighs. He stroked my hair as I dozed off.
I woke to Sunny’s voice. “Thanks for taking care of her. I had no idea.”
“It was no problem, really,” Trevor said softly.
And that was when a little thing called clarity came back into my ridiculously fuzzy brain.
> I’d puked. In front of Trevor. And he’d taken care of me.
“I guess we’re even,” I whispered, my eyes still closed.
“What?” Trevor said with a nervous laugh.
“You know, we’re the pukers.”
Trevor laughed as he stroked my hair. “Yeah, I guess we are. How are ya feeling?”
“I’ve been better.”
“Gracie,” Sunny said, “are you ready to go? Sober Patrol can take us back to Weston.”
Thank God for Sober Patrol. Our business fraternity had an official rule that we had to have two sober people for every two hours of any party hosted. They were available for rides and to cut people off when they needed it. I guess I slid through the cracks while in the kitchen. But a ride sounded nice.
“Yeah, I, um…I’m ready.”
Trevor helped me to my feet and Sunny passed me a bottle of water.
“Sip it slowly,” she said, her eyes stern.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said with a giggle. I might have puked my guts out, but I was still very buzzed. It was then that I realized Trevor was holding my hand. And I liked it.
He gave my hand a squeeze and asked, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I’ll ride back with you guys.”
“No, that’s okay,” I said, pressing my hand to his chest. “But thanks. For everything.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow…to check on you, okay?”
“You got it. Even Stevens,” I said with a wink.
“What is she talking about?” Sunny asked.
Trevor shrugged. “We’re the pukers.”
“Yep,” I said with a smile before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. “Oh my God, I look like I crawled out of a gutter.”
I groaned as I attempted to fix my hair and makeup, but it was no use as my hands were too shaky and uncoordinated.
Claudia walked to the door of the bathroom. “Gracie, Sober Patrol’s outside with the car. Ready to go?”
“Yeah, let’s go,” I said, taking a sip of my water and turning back to Trevor. “Call me.”
Sorority of Three: Freshman 101 Page 10