He released his key from the ignition, turned to me, and said, “Hold on a sec.”
“Um, okay.” I sat in the car as he jogged around to my door, opening it and gesturing for me to step out.
“Wow. Pulling out all the stops?”
Sawyer grinned. “I’m all about brownie points.”
“Well, you’re getting a lot, frat boy.”
“You’re a little hung up on that, huh?” I sensed a little concern in his voice as it dropped an octave.
“What? The fraternity thing?”
“Yep.”
“No, you just don’t seem Greek to me.”
“I’m not, I’m German.” He gave me a cocky wink and my stomach dropped to my knees. God, this guy was gorgeous.
“You’re also hilarious,” I replied as he opened the door to the restaurant.
“Sorry, kidding. It’s just—I don’t know, does it really bother you? Me being in a frat?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But I’m here anyway,” I teased, nudging him in the arm. “No, it’s fine. I can stop calling you that if you want.”
“Nah, I kinda like it.”
“Whatever floats your boat,” I teased again, and then followed as the host directed us to a small wooden table with a simple candle on the side next to the wall.
“This place is really cute.” I touched my hand to the old-fashioned wood paneling. “It has an antique feel, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He smiled. “You know, the guys in my house, they’re all pretty cool. You’d like them.”
“I’m sure I would,” I said, taking a long pause. “Look, I know we’re supposed to be starting over and stuff, but…I feel like I need to ask something.”
“Go ahead.” His eyes were eager as he leaned his chin on his hands, his elbows square on the table.
“Your girlfriend. From before. Was she in a house too?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but the friendly sound of a woman’s voice interrupted him before he had the chance.
“Good evening, guys. I’m Rosanna. I’ll be taking care of you. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
“Diet Coke?” I asked.
“Is Pepsi okay?”
“Sure,” I said, although in my head I was screaming, “No, it’s not okay! It’s not the same thing! Are you nuts?” I wasn’t sure it was quite time for Sawyer to know all about my soft drink snobbery.
One of the things that had first bonded Grace and me was our shared love of Diet Coke, along with our absolute hatred of Pepsi. Claudia was the oddball, she didn’t really taste the difference, but Grace and I could tell with just the tiniest sip if we were drinking something we loved or despised.
“Root beer, please,” Sawyer said, opening his menu.
“Great, I’ll be right back,” Rosanna said.
He looked up and caught my eye. “Okay, don’t laugh at me, but I hate when restaurants don’t have Coke.”
“Are you serious?” I asked. It was like the heavens had parted and the angels were singing.
“I’m from Kansas…did I tell you that yet? We call everything Coke. No one drinks Pepsi.”
“I had no idea you were from out of state.”
“Uh-oh, is that another deal-breaker? I’m starting to feel like Romeo over here.”
I chuckled before responding, “No, of course not. And the Greek thing is so not a deal-breaker,” I said, brushing my fingertips to his. He tugged on one of my fingers. It felt nice.
“Thank God. I was about to ask for the check,” he teased.
“Wait, let’s get back to this—you call everything Coke?”
“Yeah, so say you’re out to dinner. You’d say, I’ll have a Coke. And the waiter would ask, ‘What kind?’ Then you’d answer Sprite, Diet, Cherry, whatever.”
“No way.”
“Dead serious. You probably say pop, right?” I nodded. “My roommate does, too. He’s from Chicago.”
“Me too. Born and raised.”
“I could tell. You have a really slight accent.” Sawyer narrowed his eyes at me, waiting for me to react.
“Do not.” I was adamant that I didn’t have the whole Chicago thing going on in my voice.
“I swear. It’s not obvious at first, but I hear it.”
I pursed my lips and crossed my arms.
“What?” he asked, raising his shoulders, trying to look innocent. “Hell, I have one too. I have the whole country boy thing going on.”
“Nah, I don’t hear it.”
“Oh, well, that’s good…I guess. Maybe it only slips out when I’m drinking.”
“Then let’s definitely get you a beer,” I said with a laugh.
Sawyer chuckled and opened his menu.
“So are you going to order the famous Reuben?”
“I mean…I think I have to, right? It is famous.” He rubbed his chin, looking at the menu.
That small movement drew me to him. He wasn’t just handsome. No, there was something else about this guy. He was confident, sure…but it was more than that too. He knew who he was, and he wasn’t trying to be someone else to impress me. He was comfortable with who he was, which is how I’d always seen myself. Comfortable being me.
“Yep,” I said, running my fingers through my hair and moving my focus back to the menu.
“What do you think you’ll have?” Sawyer asked.
“Probably a burger.”
“My kind of girl.” Sawyer looked genuinely impressed.
I definitely wasn’t one of those girls who didn’t eat on dates. I loved food and wasn’t afraid to show it.
“My mom’s really into organic and natural cooking and stuff, so we don’t eat a lot of burgers at home.”
“Got it,” he said. “You’re rebelling. I respect that.”
“That’s what college is all about, right?” I chuckled.
“Exactly.”
I found myself so drawn to Sawyer’s somewhat cocky sense of humor. It balanced so nicely with his impressive manners. When Rosanna returned, he surprised me by ordering for both of us, which was something I’d only seen done in the movies. I liked it. No guy had ever done that before—it always seemed like such a cliché thing to do…at least, until I watched Sawyer do it. Then my opinion changed. Completely.
When we’d finished eating and our plates had been cleared, I excused myself to use the restroom. While glancing into the mirror, I reapplied my lipstick and almost dropped the tube into the sink.
No freaking way.
A huge piece of romaine lettuce was stuck between my two front teeth, as large as a kernel of corn.
How long have I looked like that?
There I was, acting all confident, cute, and snarky and I had no idea that there was a big old piece of food in my teeth—front and center for all to see.
Why didn’t he say anything?
Quickly, I removed the offending lettuce and reapplied my lip color. And then I saw it. Oh good Lord, I saw it. A huge blob of grease on my top…just next to the middle of my chest, at the bottom of my sky blue V-necked sweater. You couldn’t miss it. Hamburger grease that must have slipped down as I devoured my food.
That’s it. I’m a slob.
The stain was stubborn and didn’t want to be removed by the paper towel doused in water from the sink. I had to be careful not to use too much water, or I’d look ridiculous with a soaked sweater. After a minute I gave up, forcing myself to return to the table and face the music.
Sawyer had paid the check and was waiting for me, my coat and scarf in hand.
“Thanks,” I said, feeling awkward, having terrible flashbacks of lettuce and grease. The only way to fight that awkward feeling inside me was to crack a joke as we made our way back to the car.
“So, as you can see, my goal on a first date is to be as sloppy as possible.”
An uncomfortable chuckle escaped his lips. “What do you mean?”
“The teeth? The stain on my sweater?”
“Oh, right.”
&
nbsp; “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it didn’t matter,” he said, taking my hands in his as we stood in front of the car. “You could have chewed with your mouth open or belched the ABCs…you’d still be the most beautiful girl in the place.”
I was stunned speechless. And that didn’t happen often.
“Bowling?” he asked, a big grin on his face as he opened the car door.
“Sure,” I managed to mutter.
I was in big, big trouble.
• • •
Sawyer was hot, but he couldn’t bowl to save his life. I clobbered him, and it was marvelous. I felt redeemed after the Lettuce and Grease Situation.
Sadness washed over me with those words making their way through my brain. Claudia would love to know about the Lettuce and Grease Situation…if we spent any time together whatsoever. Right then and there, I vowed to stop by her room when I got back from my date. Although, if I were being honest, I didn’t want the date to end. I was having the best time with Sawyer. We kept each other laughing, and even though he was the worst bowler I’d ever seen, he took it in stride and laughed it off.
“Told you we should’ve gone skydiving,” he said with a chuckle as we walked to the front of the building.
Snowflakes floated down around us. It felt like we were in this perfect little dream, snowflakes falling, the glow of the lights of the dorm shining on us. I stood and awaited the kiss.
“So, earlier,” he said. “You mentioned my girlfriend. I mean, my ex-girlfriend.”
“Yeah,” I asked, dreading that he was about to drop another bomb on me like he did months ago. The thought of this being our first and only real date was like a knife through my gut.
“You asked if she was in a house. I never got a chance to answer.”
“Oh, right. Was she?”
“Yeah. That’s how we met. During a rush party at the beginning of the year.”
“And…it’s over, right?”
“Yes, absolutely. It was over the night I met you.”
“What?” My stomach dropped to my knees, and butterflies swarmed my insides.
“Well, I mean…the night we met, I knew I wanted you. It just took me a while to get it. Does that make any sense at all?”
“Sure, I get it. You were with someone.”
“But it wasn’t the same. You need to know that,” he said, removing his glove and placing his hand to my face. “You’re different.”
I resisted the urge to make a joke, to call him Frat Boy and make a crack about that being his standard line. But I knew in my heart that wasn’t the case. I was different. Just like he was for me.
“May I kiss you?” Sawyer whispered. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out so I simply nodded. He smiled in relief and kissed me gently, again and again until we both needed more. I opened my mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His hands roamed through my blonde curls and I wrapped my arms around his strong chest. I could tell he was straining to lean down to me because of our height difference, so I decided to even the playing field.
“Just a sec,” I whispered against his lips, then jumped up to stand on the concrete bench next to us.
Sawyer roared in laughter and placed his hands on my waist to steady me.
“I’m taller than you now.” I giggled.
“I can fix that.” Sawyer lifted me at the waist and I squealed as he spun me around. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist to avoid falling. “There…eye to eye.”
“Perfect.”
He swallowed hard before kissing me one last time, as gentle and sweet as the snowflakes that tickled our skin. With a final kiss to the nose, he placed my feet back on the ground.
“Good night.”
Did I mention I was in trouble?
• • •
In a daze, I somehow made it back to my dorm room. The clock in the lobby said it was twelve thirty a.m. I figured Claudia was still awake…if she was home. But when I walked to her room, I couldn’t see any light coming from under her door. I tapped lightly, just in case she was still awake. When a minute passed, I left a note to let her know I’d come by, and that I hoped to see her in the morning for a late breakfast.
When I reached my door, I found a note of my own.
Sun,
Came by to talk. Stop by after your date with the Lost Boy.
I’ll be up till 12.
Love you,
Claude
A smile crossed my lips as I read her words. Our current “situation” hadn’t been ideal, but things were starting to look up. And I couldn’t wait to tell her all about the best date of my life.
Chapter 19
Never Have I Ever
Claudia
February, the first Saturday
Tonight the three of us were getting ready for another party at Max’s apartment. I’d wanted to invite Libby, but in the end decided against it. It was getting harder and harder not to include her in things like this, and it was tearing me apart.
“You almost ready?” Sunny asked, standing in my doorway. Things were better between us, but we still weren’t what we used to be just a few short months ago. That was hopefully about to change. Grace knew my secret. I felt terrible that I hadn’t shared it with Sunny, even though I knew Grace would never reveal it behind my back.
Last weekend, I’d gone to Sunny’s room with the intention of opening up, of revealing the true nature of my relationship with Libby, but she didn’t return from her date until late. To be honest, I heard her knock on my door when she got back, but I chickened out. I wanted to tell her, but instead I hid under my comforter, clutching the blanket in my hand. My roommate, Francine, was asleep and dead to the world, so I lay there like a frightened child as I heard the tap, tap, tap on my door.
I knew Sunny was an open-minded person; she wasn’t homophobic. But that didn’t keep the fear at bay. I didn’t want to be merely tolerated by my best friend. I wanted to be accepted, to be loved. I didn’t want our relationship to lose its luster. But the longer I put off telling her, the wider the gap between us could become. So I had to do it. Tonight, if possible.
“Two minutes,” I said, wrapping a turquoise scarf around my neck. Libby loved turquoise and had mailed the scarf to me for Christmas. I adored it and wore it whenever I could.
“Pretty,” Sunny said, taking a seat on the corner of my bed.
“Thanks. It was a Christmas gift,” I said, feeling brave.
“Awesome.” Sunny nodded.
Damn. I needed an ice-breaker, an in-road to this conversation. It wasn’t something I wanted to blurt out. But maybe that’s what I had to do.
“Listen, Sun—”
“Hey,” Grace said, strolling into the room and parking herself next to Sunny. A warm smile crossed her lips. “What are we talking about?”
Sunny looked back at me. And I froze.
This was the perfect time to tell them. Both of them. Together.
“You guys,” I said, my pulse racing. Grace looked at Sunny, who was reaching into her bag, then nodded at me, trying to boost my confidence.
“Hold on a sec,” Sunny said, retrieving her phone from the purse. “It’s Sawyer. Just a minute, okay?” She walked into the hallway to talk to him.
Grace raised both of her eyebrows. “You know she loves you, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I just…I don’t know.” Having second thoughts, I reached for my coat and hat hanging on the hook on the back of my closet door. “Let’s go. We’re already a little late.”
“Are you sure?” Grace asked, her fingers grazing my elbow with sincere concern.
“Yeah. It’s fine. Seriously.”
Sunny joined us in the hallway, ending her call with Sawyer, and we walked the three blocks to Max’s place. When we arrived, music was already thumping loudly. As usual, several drinking games had begun throughout the apartment. We filled our plastic cups and wandered through the different rooms, saying hello to various members of our frat.
> “Is Sawyer coming?” I asked Sunny.
She shook her head. “Nah, he has some ‘exchange’ thing with a sorority.”
“Oh,” Grace muttered. “You okay?”
“Yeah, of course. I have to get used to it, right?”
“He’s a good guy. Don’t worry.” I patted Sunny’s shoulder just as she leaned down to draw a beer from the keg. The muscles beneath her sweater tightened at my touch.
What the hell was that?
“I have to get used to it, I guess,” she said with a noncommittal shrug, taking a sip from her cup.
Before filling my cup, I shot a quick glance at Grace, who was oblivious to the tension that loomed between Sunny and me. I had to end it. I had to tell her the truth before she pushed me away for good.
“Sun, wanna go outside for a sec?”
Her eyes narrowed in confusion. “It’s like ten degrees outside. No thanks.” She offered me a weak smile before leaving the kitchen. Grace knitted her brow, and I knew she had no idea what to say.
“Forget it,” I said, filling my cup with beer and walking out of the room.
“Claude, wait,” Grace yelled after me.
“Whatever, it’s fine,” I said defensively.
“She’s just wrapped up in Sawyer right now. It’s not about you. She’s not herself.”
“I know. I just wanna be alone for a minute.”
“Okay.”
Grace shifted her weight from one foot to the other before walking back to the kitchen. I felt awful. I had one ally. One. And I just acted like a bitch to her.
“Goddamn it,” I muttered under my breath before turning to follow Grace back into the kitchen. But before I had the chance, a cold hand grabbed my own.
“Good, you got a beer. They’re playing a game in Max’s room.” Sunny was grinning from ear to ear, her attitude from earlier was nowhere in sight.
Normally, I’d call her out. To ask how the hell her moods changed so quickly. But I was in a precarious situation and needed to be cautious.
“Ladies,” Max said, climbing to his feet. The walls of his tiny bedroom were covered in posters of half-naked women. Christmas lights dangled from the ceiling, and at least twenty people sat around the room, each holding a cup or two of their own. “Come…sit. We’re just getting started.”
Sorority of Three: Freshman 101 Page 13