Monster

by Yolanda Olson

  Rolling my eyes, I hopped out of the trough and walked over to the one of the windows. I cracked it open just a little bit and cringed when a ray of sun came blasting toward me. Shielding my eyes, I heard the sizzle of the flesh on my arm as it was starting to burn and fall off. For the first time, in a long time, I didn’t try to hide from it. I wondered if I burned myself badly enough like Ava, maybe I’d have the will to do what I needed to do. To destroy Skiles. To avenge Cody. To avenge Chase.

  I cracked the window a little wider and felt the sun start to burn my face. I trained myself to ignore the pain years ago. I looked out toward the animals and watched them as they wandered around the farm. I saw Billie in the distance feeding the pigs, cows, goats, and other array of animals she had. I looked over and saw the horses, including my Shire, pulling plows and doing the day’s work happily.

  As a chunk of the flesh fell off of my arm, I closed the window a little. Damn. Now I have to find someone to fix that tattoo and no one is going to do it better than Ken, I thought pushing it off the sill.

  “Get away from the window!” came the shriek behind me.

  Laughing I turned around ready to laugh at Brian for having such a high pitched scream when I came face to face with Phoebe.

  Immediately my laughter stopped. I stood there staring at her in disbelief. How had she found me here? Why did she care if I burned in the daylight or not?

  “Stay away from me,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “Why? I mean after all we’re practically family. Look, I needed to come tell you something.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Now get out and don’t ever come back. You’re not welcomed here,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

  “No can do,” she said hopping up on a small wooden table, “besides, I’m more welcome here than you are. She only took you in because she smells my brother so strongly on you.”

  At the mention of Cody I felt the tears spring to my eyes. I still couldn’t believe that I’d never hear that laugh or see that boyish grin ever again. It honestly made my heart want to stop beating once and for all. I wiped the tears away and she reached past me to close the window tightly.

  “Listen. You really should hear what I have to tell you,” she started.

  “No. I don’t care! Nothing you say to me will make me ever trust you again. Not after what you did. I honestly can say that I’ve never hated anyone as much as Skiles until you killed Chase, Phoebe,” I said clenching my fists at my sides.

  She stared at me for a moment then smiled. “Suit yourself.”

  I watched her hop off the table and make her way to the front door. She easily picked up Brian and moved him to the side so she could leave. With the door open, she turned and looked back at me as if she were hesitating. I looked at Brian hoping he wouldn’t wake up. The next thing I heard was the sound of the door closing.

  Sighing I went over to grab one of the linen I had put in the trough and wrapped my arm up. It’s not like it was bleeding but I’m sure it was unsightly to look at. As I walked past the trough to the back of the house, I caught sight of the damage done to my face in the reflection of a steel pan that was hanging over the little stove.

  At least now I look like the monster I am, I thought. I stared at myself for a moment wondering if the damage would ever be reparable. Shrugging it off, I went back to the trough and lay down in it, closing my eyes. This time was different.

  Because I had lost substance I fell into a deep void of darkness.

  That night when I woke up, I felt a wet cloth on my forehead. Cracking my left eye open I saw that it was Brian looking at me with worried look on his face and Billie was looking down at me from over his shoulder.

  “Not a very smart thing to do,” he said when he saw me looking at them.

  “I just wanted to see the farm during the day,” I said in a dry voice.

  “I’m sure,” he said with a chuckle.

  I straightened myself out onto my back and opened my right eye. Something was wrong though. It seemed to be damaged because the vision in it was blurry.

  Panicked I sat up straight and reached for it. Then I realized why. That was the side of my body that I had burned in the sunlight. I held one hand over the right side of my face and looked around with my left eye only. Everything seemed to be perfectly clear. I then held one hand over the left side of my face and looked around with my right eye. Everything was different. Almost as if there was a blackish cloud over everything I was looking at.

  “Sick,” I muttered to myself.

  “Sick is right,” said Billie suddenly. “You’re lucky that your eye didn’t fall out of your head.”

  “Oh come on, it’s not that bad,” I said with a chuckle.

  Raising an eyebrow at me, she walked away for a moment then came back with a hand mirror. I looked at myself and almost screamed. My face looked much worse than it had the night before. It had went for small splotchy white spots to almost as badly burned as Ava. Around the edges of the black crust on my face was the white of my skin, which seemed to be trying so hard to fuse back together. I reached up and trailed my fingers on it then shuddered. The only thing that remained the same on the right side of my face was the color of my eye, unlike Ava who now had two different colors. Shaking my head, I thought about how we were basically reflective of each other now. The left side of her body was singed and the right side of my face and part of my arm was gone now too.

  I just hoped that I’d be able to hang on to my sanity unlike her. Then again, so long as I didn’t let thoughts of Code take over my mind, I should be okay. Random visits from Phoebe weren’t going to help so I was going to have to talk to Billie about that. The sooner I could get rid of my Phoebe problem, the sooner I could get on with what I had to do.

  12. The Wild Card

  (Day 14)

  Billie and Brian bustled about the small house looking for rolls of gauze to tie around my arm. I rolled my eyes. This wasn’t that big of a deal to me. So now what was on the inside was reflected on the outside. I handed Billie her mirror back and gave Brian a gentle shove out of the way. It had been a few days since I had written in my journal and I had a lot of stuff to put in it. I walked over to the chair that I had placed it on and absently leaned down to pick it up. My fingers grazed the bare wood of the chair but nothing more. Thinking that it may have fallen under the chair, I got down on my knees and looked underneath it; still nothing.

  “Hey. Did you guys happen to see a leather book on this chair?” I asked turning around.

  Brian shook his head, but Billie looked a little uncomfortable.

  “Billie? Did you see the book?” I asked again.

  “I saw where it went,” she said looking down.

  Where it went? What did it do? Grow legs and walk away?

  “Okay, so where did it go?” I asked impatiently.

  “She took it.”

  “She who?”

  “You know.”

  “No. I don’t.”

  “Her,” Billie said fixing me with a look.

  “Look, I don’t have time to play this game. Who is her?” I asked emphasizing the last word.

  “Phoebe,” she said her voice barely above a whisper.

  “Huh?”

  For a moment I sat there with a confused look on my face. Then it dawned on me. Hadn’t she hesitated at the door for a second? The chair was by the door and the book was on the chair. Angrily I punched a hole in the side of the farmhouse.

  Bad manners, I know, but because I refused to listen to her she stole my journal.

  “Alright. I’ve got to get that book back,” I said suddenly feeling frantic. “I’m going to track her scent and I’m going to find her and get the book back.” I was pacing back and forth and I knew that I was starting to sound crazy but I really did need my journal. “I’ll tell her to leave me alone. I’ll ask her if I can go to any services that might be held for Cody, then I’ll tell her to leave me alone.”


  “Track her scent?” Billie asked curiously.

  “Yeah,” I said tapping my nose rapidly, “I can track scents. I don’t know if that’s a gift or a curse. Billie, I’m going to need you to look out for him until I get back,” I said waving a hand carelessly at Brian.

  “Wait, I want to go too,” he said eyeing Billie suspiciously.

  “No,” I said louder than I meant to. “You stay here. I don’t need a babysitting job right now. This is going to be hard enough as it is.”

  “Babysitting?” he shouted incredulously.

  “Yeah, babysitting,” I said giving him a deadly stare. “You’re not going to be able to control yourself once you get the scent of the humans. Not yet anyway, and I don’t have time to clean up your messes. I have something way more important to do. So you have two choices: Stay here and help Billie with the farm or I can kill you right now and no one has to worry about you. Ever.”

  I almost laughed out loud at the look of shock on his face. Apparently he thought that when I made him like me, it was to keep him. That definitely wasn't the case. He was the first I had ever made and I had only done to see if I was strong enough.

  Before either of them could protest any further, I walked out the door and slammed it behind me. I zipped my jacket up and pulled the hood around my face. I didn't want to have to explain to anyone why my face was looking the way it did now.

  I wandered past the animals toward the streets realizing to myself that I had no idea what I was going to say to Phoebe when I caught up to her. All I knew was that I wanted my journal and I would kill her to get it. The more I walked the more determined I became to find her. That book had my entire afterlife written in it, and if it could help anyone who met my fate, then I wanted to be able to preserve it for when my existence was ended.

  I started to hum to myself as I made my way to through the town. It was the same tune that Cody had been humming as we wandered through the cemetery in Devils Lake.

  Suddenly it hit me. I knew where I would be able to find her. I took a deep breath and broke into one of my super runs back nearer to the state line where I had crossed the night before. I picked up as much speed as I could muster and shot through the town. I saw the sign in the distance and started to slow down a little knowing that if I didn't, I'd probably become enraged and run back to Devils Lake and take out everyone there.

  I reached what I was looking for and walked around to the front of it to study it. Apparently I was going to have to cross state lines one more time, but not back into North Dakota. According to the sign, Devils Tower was 33 miles west in Wyoming. I considered it. I just knew in my heart that she would be there.

  Then at the same time I also knew that even if I started running now, I most likely wouldn't be able to do much scouting. The sun would probably be rising when I entered the state and I'd be of no use to myself.

  “Hop in,” called a voice. I shook the thoughts away and looked to my left.

  That's Ken's car, I thought to myself. Leaning down slightly, I squinted to take a look at the driver.

  It was a pretty girl with amazingly beautiful dark blue eyes that crinkled at the corners with the friendly smile she had on her face. I took a step closer and saw that she had short, cropped black hair with dark blue streaks that matched her eye color. It was actually a pretty cool look but I'd never do something like it. One thing was standing out about this girl; she was human. I could smell it on her.

  “Who are you?” I asked suspiciously.

  “Friend of Kaeden's,” she said leaning over and shoving the door open.

  “Of Kaeden's?” I asked not making a move toward the door. “How are you possibly a friend of his? And how'd you know where to find me? And while I'm at it, what are you doing in Kendrick's car?”

  “Get in and I'll explain everything,” she urged.

  I stood there giving her a cagey look. What kind of human would be running with a vampire and be so carefree around me? Especially the way my face looked right now. Well, she can get me to Devils Tower faster than if I ran, I reasoned with myself.

  Nodding, I got in the car and closed the door. I made myself comfortable in the seat and she grinned. Then she put the car in drive and spun a wicked U-turn so fast that I thought the car might flip. The tires let out a loud squeal as she straightened it out and headed for route 212.

  Sticking a hand out toward me she told me her name, “Charlie.”

  “Finnegan,” I replied shaking her hand quickly. “So do you want to answer my questions now?”

  “Sure,” she said glancing at me quickly. Feeling self-conscious I looked out the window. “I've known Kaeden for years. Well not years but it sure seems like that! We're actually really good friends that's why he asked me to come here to help you. I found you because he taught me how to track people. Not the way he does; he's got an edge. Just like a hunter would. Anyway I told him I'd definitely be up for it; I mean I like adventure you know? Who doesn't,” she said with a laugh, “And as for having Kendrick's car? Kaeden actually had it after he ... um ... you know.”

  I laughed. A bitter laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “I take it he told you not to talk about that?”

  She nodded, keeping her eyes on the road. We took a right onto route 112 and she continued, “So that's everything you asked. Anything else you want answered?

  Anything you want to know about me? We're gonna be stuck in this car for a little while so feel free to ask questions.”

  “I don't mean to be rude, especially since I don't know you. But out of respect to Kaeden, I'll say this nicely. I don't care about anything that has to do with you. I appreciate your giving me a ride, but if stuff goes down and you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, that'll be your problem.”

  “Understood,” she said with a chuckle.

  I glanced at her to see if she was being serious or joking but since I didn't know her, I couldn't tell yet. It didn't matter really. I was going to ditch her once we got to Devils Tower anyway. I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned back in the chair watching the streets go by. Being in this car again was so weird but I was doing my best not to let it bother me, so I closed my eyes. I didn't realize how tired I had been until her voice had jarred me out of my sleep.

  “Wyoming just welcomed us,” Charlie said cheerfully.

  I jumped and opened my eyes. I looked out the front window and frantically started to unbuckle my seat-belt. Once I had it off, I immediately crawled into the back of the car and onto the floor in an attempt to hide myself from the sun.

  “What are you doing?” she asked looking at me through the rearview mirror.

  “The sun is out,” I said.

  “Yeah and we're in a vampire's car,” she said laughing. “The tint on these windows was reinforced to keep the sun out. You'll be fine. Come back in the front.”

  “No thanks.”

  “I'm serious. Kaeden's driven this car in the daylight to come see me. Does he look like he's been burned to a crisp? No offense,” she said softly.

  “None taken,” I said sitting up. “This was intentional,” I added locking eyes with her in the mirror.

  “Oh. Can I ask why?”

  “I was looking at animals on a farm,” I replied realizing how stupid it must've sounded.

  She smiled kindly but didn't reply. I guess that was something she learned from Kaeden; never push an issue.

  “So what are you doing hanging out with a vampire?” I asked looking out the back window.

  “I don't judge. I like Kaeden as a person so we're really good friends. I don't care really what he is. And I'm pretty confident in the fact that he has no desire to kill me. I mean he's trained me quite well.”

  “Sounds like Kaeden,” I said chuckling. “Listen, once we get to Devils Tower, I'm going to need you to leave. I have some business to take care of and Kae's friend or not, if something happens to you, I'm pretty much not going to care.”

  “It's cool, I'm used to being in the way of danger,�
� she said turning down a city highway.

  “Yeah, so the best way to avoid it is to leave once we get there, got it?”

  “Sorry but I promised Kaeden I'd keep an eye on you until you went back to Devils Lake, and that's what I intend to do,” she said looking back at me.

  “Whatever. Just try not to get yourself killed I guess.”

  She laughed and kept driving. We drove for what had to be another twenty minutes when looming on the horizon came one of the tallest rock formations I had ever seen in existence.

  Devils Tower, I thought grimly to myself.

  The closer we got the more amped I became. I knew this was going to be a major showdown. She stole my book and because of her, not me, Cody was dead and I was going to make damn sure she felt my pain.

  “Wait, where are you going,” I asked Charlie leaning forward, “We just passed the damn tower!”

  “I know but unless you've got some SPF four million on you, you're not going to get to do much out there,” she said reasonably.

  “Argh!” I shouted punching the back of the seat. I threw myself back violently and stared at the tower as we continued passed it.

  She glanced curiously at me through the rearview once again, then shook her head and kept driving. About a quarter mile up the road there was an abandoned shack like house that had looked like it stood empty for years. She pulled onto the grass and drove straight toward it.

  “Do me a favor,” she said parking the car. “When I open this door, I'll need you to be face down on the floor there so the sun doesn't get you. I'll go inside and see if maybe there's an old quilt or something we can cover you in to sneak you inside, okay?”

  I nodded and stretched myself across the bottom of the car. I pulled my hood tightly over my head after I shoved my hands into the sleeves. This kid was smart; it never dawned on me that a quilt could get me around during the daytime. I'd have to remember that for the rest of my hopefully short second life.

  “I'll be back as soon as I find something,” she said. I heard the door open and shut quickly as well as the sound of her footsteps as she jogged toward the house.