Comfort Me With Apples

by Comfort Me

  Mammoth baking sessions were taking place in preparation for Gerald’s wedding and Anna knew her help was always welcome. She also embroidered the underwear that Winifred was collecting for her trousseau and her household linen.

  ‘Winnie’s sister’s going to miss her when she marries, isn’t she?’ Anna said, thinking of herself and Dorrie.

  ‘Yes, she’ll miss her coming in from work and I suppose they’ll miss her wages,’ Mrs Deagan said. ‘But Peggy and her father are made up for Winnie. He’s a lovely old man, you know, Anna. A bit deaf, but hale and hearty otherwise, and he does a lot of good turns for people.’

  ‘I’ve seen him with the girls,’ Anna said. ‘He looks a good man. Such a pleasant face and that thick white hair.’

  ‘Peggy and him do a lot to help a poor man called Jimmy O’Dowd who lives two doors away from them,’ said Mrs Deagan. ‘His wife’s out of her mind. The doctor calls it premature senile dementia. Doesn’t know who she is or where she is, poor soul, but it’s terrible for her husband. She can’t be left alone for a minute, day or night.’

  ‘But how does he manage?’ Anna asked.

  ‘God knows, girlie. I think he’s a living saint but Winnie tells me he says he has to keep to his marriage vows. There’s not many would. Even the doctor thinks he should have her put away but he won’t hear of it.’

  ‘If she’s so confused, though, would she know?’ asked Anna, as she eased a large fruit cake from its tin.

  ‘If she was in a lunatic asylum? She’d realise soon enough, girlie, the way they get treated there, after the care she gets from him. And he says there’s sometimes a few minutes when she seems normal again, then the shutter comes down on her. I can see why he can’t do it,’ said Mrs Deagan.

  ‘But what about his work?’ Anna said.

  ‘He’s had to give up his job to look after her and they’re living on his savings. He was a master printer, earning good money, and they had no family so he saved a good bit but it won’t last for ever. Olive could live a long time like this, the doctor says.’

  ‘What a tragedy,’ Anna said soberly, feeling ashamed of her own misery. ‘Aye, for more than one,’ said Mrs Deagan. ‘Olive was never a proper wife to him. The house mattered more than he did. Fanatically house-proud she was, made him take off his shoes at the door and all that. When she started to go funny she wouldn’t even cook a meal – wouldn’t use the pans, so he used to sneak fish and chips in, but then she wouldn’t allow even that. He’d have a meal out in the day and take pies home for her to eat out of the bag so she didn’t dirty a plate. But she put them right in the bin for fear of the crumbs. I don’t know how she survived.’

  ‘It’s a wonder she didn’t starve to death,’ said Anna.

  ‘Well, that didn’t last long. She got worse and started eating like an animal. Poor Jimmy tried to hide it for a while but she used to rush to the door when the breadman came and snatch the loaf off him. Tear it up and stuff it in her mouth. Even the butcher’s lad. She used to snatch the raw meat off him and stuff that into her mouth. Jimmy had to stop deliveries but of course they talked.’

  ‘That’s true love, isn’t it?’ Anna said. ‘To stay with someone even when something like that happens.’

  Mrs Deagan snorted. ‘Don’t make me laugh, girlie,’ she said. ‘Love never came into it, except with him and Peggy. He and Peggy were always in and out of each other’s houses when they were young. Everybody expected them to marry when they were old enough but then Jimmy’s mother died when he was sixteen. That Olive worked near him in the printer’s as a taker off. She took him off all right, poor lad. I don’t know how she done it but she tricked him some way and married him on his seventeenth birthday and moved into the house. That’s all she was after and now he’s landed with this.’

  Mrs Deagan and Anna worked in silence for a while, then Anna sighed. ‘Poor Peggy,’ she said. ‘But she still stayed friends with him?’

  ‘Yes, she’s done his shopping and cooking for years and old Mr Parsons is very good. Jimmy can leave Olive with him for hours at a time. It’s the only break he gets. Mr Parsons says she’s always saying, “What’ve I got to do?” over and over and he tells her she has to mind him. He gets out the dolls’ tea sets that the girls had and plays tea parties with her and things like that. I think Jimmy’d be as mad as her by now otherwise,’ said Mrs Deagan.

  Anna caught sight of the kitchen clock. ‘Heavens! I’ll have to go!’ she exclaimed. ‘I don’t know what they’ll say about this.’

  ‘Take no notice, girlie. Let it all wash over you,’ Mrs Deagan said. ‘Don’t answer back or you’ll only make things worse and anyway you have to show respect to your mother.’

  It was better than Anna had expected when she returned home. A neighbour from a few doors away had called to see Mrs Furlong and Clara and had asked too many questions about Dorrie’s wedding and her life in London.

  ‘Such impertinence,’ Mrs Furlong said. ‘The type of questions she asked. Clara and I soon put her in her place, though, didn’t we, Clara?’

  ‘We did indeed,’ Clara said, with a self-satisfied smirk. ‘She won’t be back in a hurry asking you questions, Adelaide.’

  Anna gave them a few details about the preparations for Winnie and Gerald’s wedding, enough to give them something to talk about without betraying any confidences, and the unusual air of harmony lasted throughout the evening.

  Anna had hoped for a letter from Eugene but none had arrived. At bedtime she lay awake thinking over the day and the sad story of Peggy and Jimmy. It seemed there was a tragedy behind so many of the doors she passed but Anna reflected that, although her own worries might seem trivial by comparison, nothing she heard made them any easier to bear.

  The next morning letters from Dorrie arrived for her mother, aunt and sister, all making the same joyful announcement. Michael had ten days’ leave. They would spend the first weekend in Liverpool, then travel to Ballinane to see Michael’s parents and Dermot, then return to Liverpool for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, before returning to Caterham.

  ‘Two long weekends,’ Anna said, her eyes shining. ‘Doesn’t it seem a long time since we saw Dorrie?’

  ‘It is a long time,’ her mother said. She looked at her letter. ‘Two weeks today they’ll be here. It’ll give us time to get ready for them.’

  Anna was about to say that preparations didn’t matter. She just wanted to see Dorrie as soon as possible, but she was learning to think carefully before making any remark to her mother.

  Gerald Deagan’s wedding took place on the Saturday. Winnie had planned to have a quiet wedding early in the morning, with just a few friends and relatives present, but Gerald had persuaded her to have what he called a ‘proper wedding’.

  Winnie wore a traditional white dress, wreath and veil, and Peggy a pink dress, and Norah provided all the flowers. Winnie drove to the church in a carriage with her father and Peggy and it would have been hard to say who was the happiest of the three.

  The wedding breakfast took place at the Deagans’ house and was an hilarious occasion. Even Mrs Furlong said afterwards, ‘A nice wedding. Not as stylish as Dorrie’s, but very happy.’

  Clara couldn’t resist adding, ‘I suppose they were relieved to get the knot safely tied after all this time.’

  Anna had watched Peggy with more interest now that she knew her story and was surprised to see how happy she seemed. She spoke of it to Mrs Deagan, who told her that, when all the arrangements had been made, Peggy had said she had always been afraid someone like Olive might move in and trick Gerald into marriage, leaving Winnie broken-hearted.

  ‘You can see why she worried,’ Anna said thoughtfully.

  ‘Yes, but I told her, “Over my dead body would he have married anyone else,”’ declared Mrs Deagan.

  Anna laughed. ‘I’m sure you’d have seen off more determined women than Olive,’ she said.

  ‘I’ve given our Gerald a talking to, now,’ said Mrs Deagan. ‘Told him he’s got to
pull up his socks and look after Winnie. “The wedding’s not the end,” I told him, “it’s only the beginning, so you’d better stop drifting along.”’ She laughed. ‘He was real indignant. Said Winnie thinks he’s done wonders with the house they’ve taken, and the business, so I said no more.’

  The following weekend, when the excitement of the wedding had died down, Norah announced her engagement to Frank Sutton, the man from the Town Hall who had been so frequently in the florist’s shop when Anna called there. ‘I thought it would be a surprise to everyone,’ Norah told Anna, ‘but they were all expecting it. I might have known. You can’t keep anything quiet in this family.’

  ‘I guessed, Norah, but I didn’t say anything, honestly,’ Anna said.

  Norah smiled. ‘I know you didn’t, Anna. I suppose I’ve given myself away, talking about him, but I couldn’t resist it.’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ Anna said, thinking of how much she longed to talk about Eugene, but there were now so few people she could talk to about him. Letters still came from him, but at more infrequent intervals, and she wondered whether he still corresponded with the O’Briens, as he sent messages to them in most of his letters.

  Dr O’Brien always appeared very pleased to receive the messages and seemed to take it for granted that she and Eugene were in love. Yet Anna discovered he received regular letters himself from Eugene, as he did from Michael and Dorrie. It all seemed odd to her and part of the mystery of Eugene.

  The present weekend was the last run of the Wheelers before the winter and Anna had been determined to go with Isabel, even though her mother complained that there was too much still to do before Dorrie came.

  Twin brothers, Albert and Alfred Reid, always known as Bert and Fred, had attached themselves to Anna and Isabel, riding with them, and insisting on buying their cream teas when they stopped at a cafe. They had escorted them home and wanted to take them out at night but the girls had made excuses.

  After Mass on Sunday the two young men joined Anna and Isabel as soon as they emerged from church and they were standing together talking when Anna looked up to receive an outraged glare from Dr O’Brien. Immediately, her temper rose. Am I supposed to refuse to speak to any young men, just sit about waiting for Eugene to make up his mind, she thought furiously, and began to laugh and talk animatedly to Fred.

  Others from the Wheelers joined them and the girls also greeted families such as the O’Briens. Three of her small brothers were with Isabel and soon she and Anna used them as an excuse to leave, without committing themselves to going out with the Reid brothers.

  ‘I don’t want to encourage them, do you?’ Anna said.

  Isabel shook her head. ‘No, they’re nice, polite boys but awful bores and they’ve both got clammy handshakes.’ They laughed and Isabel added, ‘I thought you’d suddenly been sprinkled with love dust, though, the way you were flirting with Fred.’

  ‘Was I! Is that what it looked like!’ Anna exclaimed. ‘Oh Lord, Isabel, what have I done? I was just mad because Dr O’Brien gave me such a dirty look, as though I was cheating Eugene.’

  ‘Never mind, you’ve made Fred very happy,’ Isabel said, laughing, then when she saw Anna’s face she said, ‘I’m only joking. Don’t take things to heart so much, Anna. I wonder why they have suddenly tacked on to us? How many times have we been out with the Wheelers this summer?’

  ‘Perhaps they suddenly realised the summer was over and it was their last chance of getting off,’ Anna said.

  ‘Certainly not our fatal charms, so don’t worry about them,’ Isabel said as they parted outside her home.

  How clear-sighted and sensible Isabel was, Anna thought as she walked away. I’m so lucky to have her for a friend.

  Dorrie and Michael arrived on Friday and were met at Lime Street Station by Anna and Dr O’Brien. Anna and Dorrie sat together as they drove home, and Dr O’Brien and Michael sat opposite, talking, so Anna was able to ask Dorrie quietly to tell her truthfully if she was happy.

  ‘I am now,’ Dorrie said. ‘I was always happy when Michael was there, but when I was on my own, I wasn’t. I’ve made a friend, though, and she’s explained things to me.’

  ‘What’s her name?’ asked Anna.

  ‘Mrs Rafferty. She’s – sort of rough, but very kind. She’s been an army wife for many years. At first it was like living in a strange tribe with all different customs, and I kept doing the wrong thing without realising it.’ Anna hugged her. ‘Poor Dorrie, it must have been dreadful. Really frightening.’

  ‘It was,’ said Dorrie. ‘Mrs Rafferty helped me understand. She said it was almost like India, where her husband served for seven years. A caste system, each lot turning their noses up at one of the others.’

  ‘But it’s like that in civilian life too, Dorrie, with the class system,’ Anna said.

  ‘Yes, but worse in the army because there are so many grades and they have more power over you, Mrs Rafferty said. She said we were the lowest grade of all. Untouchables.’

  ‘But why?’ Anna said indignantly.

  ‘Because we are the wives of the lower ranks. Mary Froggatt’s husband is a batman and he heard them talking, the officers I mean,’ said Dorrie. ‘They said they must devise something to keep us out of mischief and they decided to tell us to do the laundry.’

  ‘The impudence!’ Anna exclaimed.

  ‘I know. I said I would refuse but Mrs Rafferty said that’s not the way. You don’t argue but you do the laundry so badly that they have to give up the idea.’

  They were driving along Shaw Street by now and Dr O’Brien said he would get off there. ‘I hope you’ll come in and see my wife for a few minutes,’ he said. ‘She won’t detain you but she’s longing to see you.’

  They agreed and spent a pleasant ten minutes with Mrs O’Brien but as they drove away Anna said, ‘We won’t mention this unless we are asked.’

  Dorrie added, ‘Indeed, and I’m sure the O’Briens will be too tactful to say anything. Remember, Michael.’

  He smiled and agreed, although he looked puzzled, but Anna reflected that he would soon learn to negotiate the quicksands of the Furlong ménage.

  Dorrie’s mother and aunt were waiting in the hall and Mrs Furlong clung to Dorrie, weeping copiously. ‘I’ve missed you so much,’ she wept. ‘No one knows. Only a mother would understand.’

  ‘I’m here now, Mama,’ Dorrie said. ‘And I’m sure we’re going to have a lovely time for the next few days.’ But her mother still wept and had to be assisted to her sofa.

  Dorrie looked helplessly at Michael and he said cheerfully, ‘We thought you’d be happy to see us. We’ve been looking forward to coming back to Liverpool, haven’t we, Dorrie?’

  Mrs Furlong sat up and dried her eyes. ‘Oh, I am,’ she said. ‘I was just overcome for a moment. I’ll be all right now.’

  Now you’ve had enough attention, Anna thought cynically, but she said nothing.

  Later, after their meal, Dorrie played the piano and Michael sang, then Michael sat with Dorrie’s mother and aunt, charming them with anecdotes about the army and London, freeing Dorrie to slip away with Anna.

  ‘I’ll pretend I’m helping you to unpack,’ Anna said but the two girls sat close together on Anna’s bed and Anna at last was able to ask Dorrie about Eugene and to pour out all her doubts.

  Dorrie looked troubled. ‘It’s true, Anna, that we hardly ever see him. He’s in another company but Michael’s worried about you and him.’

  Their mother’s careful training in grammar was forgotten as Anna said eagerly, ‘Why? What way? I know there’s something, Dorrie.’

  ‘I don’t know exactly but Michael was worried one night, saying he had a duty to you as you were his sister now, but he might be wrong about Eugene,’ said Dorrie. ‘But he said he thought he was devious and if you could meet someone else he’d be happy.’

  ‘Eugene would?’ Anna exclaimed.

  ‘No, Michael,’ Dorrie said.

  ‘But why, Dorrie? He must have
a reason for saying that. Is Eugene in love with someone else? Could he even – even be married?’ said Anna.

  Dorrie said emphatically, ‘Oh no, no, Anna. Not that. There are always rumours and gossip flying round the camp and one of the wives would have told me. I’ve told Mrs Rafferty he fell in love with you when he and Michael came to Liverpool.’

  ‘I told you Mrs O’Brien said he was waiting to be promoted before he could afford to marry and that’s why he’s said nothing. I was made up, Dorrie, but the more I think of it the less likely it seems. Surely he should ask me to wait for him. I wouldn’t care how long, if I only knew? Anna cried in frustration.

  ‘Do you still love him, Anna?’ Dorrie asked gently.

  Anna nodded. ‘I should have more pride, I suppose,’ she said. ‘But I can’t help it. I think about him all the time, day and night, and remember when we first met and the way he looked and I’m fathoms deep in love again.’ She burst into tears and Dorrie put her arms round her and wept with her.

  ‘If only I could tell you something that would help,’ Dorrie said. ‘But even Michael doesn’t really know anything or understand Eugene.’

  Anna still wept and clung to Dorrie. ‘It helps so much, Dorrie, to be able to talk to you. I couldn’t say any of this to anyone else. I’d be ashamed,’ she said.

  Dorrie said indignantly, ‘Ashamed! You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of!’

  ‘I’m ashamed of clinging on to a man who can’t decide whether he wants me or not,’ Anna said bravely. ‘If it was anyone else I’d say they should cut their losses and finish with him but I can’t. I love him too much.’ Her voice trembled as she added the last few words.

  Dorrie hugged Anna closer and wiped her eyes. ‘I’m sure he loves you, Anna. The way he looks at you. It could be just because of the headlong way Michael and I rushed into getting married that Eugene seems slow. How many couples do we know who were courting for years? Gerald and Winnie for one.’

  ‘Yes, but they had an understanding. You know I wouldn’t mind how long I waited, if I only knew where I stood,’ said Anna. ‘But don’t compare it with you and Michael, Dorrie. You both fell truly and deeply in love at the same time and you both wanted to be married as soon as possible.’