by Leigh Bale
“Hi, Emily.” Caleb hugged the babysitter.
“Hi, buddy.” Emily ruffled the boy’s hair.
“Mom got pizza for us,” June said.
“She did, huh?” Emily looked at Megan.
“Yes, there are several in the freezer. You’ll have to bake one for each kid, and then whatever you like.” Megan gestured toward the kitchen.
Pizza in a town this size consisted of homemade or frozen from the grocery store. There were no pizza parlors available. Caleb had chosen a frozen pepperoni and cheese, while June had asked for a Hawaiian.
Caleb reached for a DVD and held it up for Emily to see. A Disney movie he’d watched at least six times before. “Can we watch this one tonight?”
Emily nodded. “Sure, whatever you like.”
“Mom’s going out with Jared, but it’s not a real date and she doesn’t want to smooch him,” Caleb said.
Megan just shook her head. She would have laughed if it weren’t so serious.
“Hi there.”
They all turned. Jared stood in the open doorway, holding a bouquet of yellow roses and baby’s breath wrapped in green tissue paper in one hand and a single yellow rose in his other hand. Oh, boy. If this wasn’t a real date, it sure felt like it.
“Hi, Jared. We’re gonna eat pizza and popcorn while you’re not on a date with Mom.” Caleb hopped up and down in his stocking feet.
Megan’s face flooded with heat. She definitely should have explained a bit more to her kids. But she figured any more talking about the subject would only make things worse.
Jared smiled and glanced at Megan. “You are, huh? That sounds fun.”
He held out the single yellow rose to June. “This is for you, sweetheart.”
The girl blinked in awe. She reached out tentatively and took the rose, as if it was fragile and might break. “No one ever gave me a flower before.”
“Well, I’m glad to be the first, then,” he said.
She tilted her head and looked up at him with shy eyes. And when she spoke, her voice sounded rather timid. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Are you doing okay?” he asked, and they each understood his question. The tent mishap had been upsetting for all of them, especially June.
“Yes, I’m fine. How about you?” The shyness was gone as she gazed at his chin.
He gestured to his wound, where a small pink line showed where the stitches had been removed. “I’m great, but do you think the scar is too noticeable?”
June shook her head. “No, you can’t hardly even tell.”
Both he and June smiled, and Megan knew the two had become friends.
“And these are for you.” Jared turned and held the bouquet out to Megan.
He looked achingly handsome in a pin-striped suit, red paisley tie and shiny black wingtip shoes. So formal in comparison to his Forest Service uniform. He’d slicked his dark blond hair back, his face freshly shaven. And he smelled very nice. In a rush, Megan felt a moment of absolute panic sweep over her.
He looked good. Too good. And she realized how much she missed the company of a handsome man.
This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date. She kept repeating the words over and over inside her mind.
His gaze swept over her attire with approval. “You look absolutely stunning tonight,” he said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
Oh, that didn’t help matters. In fact, his words made her feel weak in the knees.
“Thank you. You look nice, too.”
Sudden warmth flushed across her face. She took the roses, her fingers brushing against his as they wrapped around the green tissue. She felt an electric zap of awareness that left her disconcerted and uneasy. This no longer felt like just a favor for a friend. In fact, she wasn’t sure what it felt like.
“Thank you. That’s so kind of you. I’ll put them in some water,” she said.
Carrying the flowers, she shifted into autopilot and walked into the kitchen to find a vase. Sandy followed, opening the fridge to peer inside, then the cupboard, to get out a pan to cook the pizzas on. “You’re really lucky, Mrs. Rocklin,” the girl whispered.
“Oh, how’s that?”
“He’s romantic—and really hot!” She flashed a wide, knowing smile and jerked her head toward Jared.
Megan rested one hand on the counter and released a steadying breath. She agreed with Emily—though she wouldn’t tell her so. But Megan would have to be half-dead not to notice Jared’s dynamic good looks.
“That’s my daddy.” Caleb’s voice came from the living room.
Megan glanced over her shoulder. Her children were gazing up at a picture sitting on the fireplace mantel. It showed Megan and Blaine on their wedding day, dressed in their beautiful white clothes, smiling and happy.
“It is, huh?” Jared peered at the picture. “Your dad was a handsome guy,” he said, looking down at June.
“He was the most handsome man in the whole wide world,” the little girl said with conviction.
Megan’s throat tightened. She didn’t want to discuss her husband with another man. But she liked the loyalty her children had for their father. And then, she felt a humbling gratitude that God had led her to Blaine. All her life, she’d wanted to marry a good man and give her children the best father she could. She believed she had done that with Blaine. But now, she wondered if lightning could strike in the same place twice. Was it possible for her to ever find two such wonderful men? If so, she’d be truly blessed. But it couldn’t be Jared. Her heart couldn’t risk losing another man the way she’d lost Blaine. She needed to fall for someone who wasn’t a firefighter. Someone with a safe, boring job.
“Well, we better be on our way.” She retrieved a delicate sweater from the coat closet, then picked up her purse.
Jared’s eyes met hers. “You all ready?”
She nodded. As he opened the door, her heart was beating like a bass drum. She stumbled and he clasped her arm, steadying her. The warmth of his fingers sent tingles shooting up her arm.
“You okay?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Yes, thank you. Sorry to be so clumsy. I’m not used to wearing high heels.”
“I know you ladies like to wear those skyscrapers on your feet, but if it helps, you look really nice tonight.”
Yes, it helped. At least he’d noticed. But then she wondered why she’d taken such great care with her appearance. It didn’t matter. Did it?
He held her arm as they walked toward the driveway, where he opened her door and helped her step up into his truck. A round decal just below the window caught her eye. A picture of Smokey the Bear pointing a warning finger at her with the words Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires.
Another vivid reminder of what Jared did for a living.
“Careful there. We’ve got an hour-and-a-half drive ahead of us, so you can kick off your shoes and relax for a while.”
She smiled her gratitude and clicked on her seat belt. As he climbed into the truck, turned the key and backed away from her house, she glanced over and saw her two children and Emily with their noses pressed up against the windowpane. She returned Caleb’s wave, feeling edgy and nervous. As though she were going to the executioner’s block.
The low rumble of the engine sounded comforting yet set her on edge. This evening was a reminder of how lonely she’d been this past year. And she realized Jared was wreaking havoc on her well-ordered world.
* * *
“Are you warm enough?”
At Jared’s question, Megan glanced up. He gripped the steering wheel with his hands, looking straight ahead. Although this wasn’t a real date, he still felt kind of nervous. Afternoon sunlight blazed against the black asphalt. Soon, it would be dark. Jared barely noticed the scenery of the town whisking by as they turned on
to the freeway.
“Yes, in fact I’m a bit hot,” she said.
He reached over and adjusted a knob on the dashboard. A whoosh of cool air brushed against his cheek.
“Is that better?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you.” She folded her hands primly in her lap.
“Do you own a car, or just a truck?” she asked.
“Just a truck. I’ve always been a truck kind of guy. What about you?” He was trying to make conversation, and this seemed like a safe topic. The ride into Reno gave them lots of time to chat.
“We had a car once, before my husband died. I drove it most of the time, because I always had the kids with me.”
He glanced over at her. “But no more? Why’d you get rid of it?”
“It was pretty old, and I couldn’t afford to keep both vehicles. I sold the car and kept the truck, thinking it’d be more helpful with running the restaurant. Sometimes I have to drive into Reno for supplies.”
He nodded. “Sounds logical, but your kids seem to do okay in the truck.”
“Do you have kids?”
He coughed, her question taking him off guard. A pinch of regret tweaked his heart. “I’m afraid not. I always wanted children, but my wife didn’t like them. She said she didn’t want any little monsters making messes or ruining her silk blouses.”
“Did you know that when you married her?”
No, he hadn’t.
“Unfortunately, she changed her mind about having a family after we married. We got hitched right out of college. I tried to be what she wanted, but I wasn’t enough. I was working long hours. Living in such small towns, she got bored. I think that’s what helped lead to her infidelity.”
Megan flinched. “Oh, Jared. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. She liked working out and keeping her tiny figure. Looking good was of high importance to her. She didn’t want any kids to give her stretch marks.”
Megan chuckled. “Well, kids definitely do make messes. They also grow up to be some of the most amazing people in the world. But what got you and your wife together in the first place?”
He adjusted the rearview mirror. Anything to distract himself from this conversation. He really didn’t want to talk about this, but he also wouldn’t avoid Megan’s earnest questions. “During college, Sharon was a different person. She was carefree and happy and easy to be with. After we graduated and got married, she wanted me to work in her father’s bank. But that’s not what I wanted. She knew I was studying to be a fire scientist. I’d always planned to work for the Forest Service, but she never accepted that. She thought fighting fires was a hobby, not a full-time career. Over time, she came to resent me for it.”
And before he knew what he was doing, he’d told Megan everything. How Sharon had kept putting off having a family and had finally told him that she didn’t want kids at all.
“The surprising thing is that I found out several months ago that she’s now expecting a child with her new husband,” he said.
“That must have been so difficult for you,” Megan said.
He heard the sincerity in her voice but no pity. And he was grateful for that. A hard lump clogged his throat and he tried to swallow.
“It was. I can’t help wondering what’s wrong with me. Why I couldn’t make her happy. But what hurts the most isn’t that she didn’t want kids, but that she didn’t want to have them with me,” he said.
“I doubt that’s true. It sounds like she didn’t know what she wanted,” Megan said in a kind tone.
He gave an acerbic laugh, still feeling betrayed and bitter after all this time. “Maybe so. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a downer tonight.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said. “I understand that you’ve been hurt.”
But he’d confided something he hadn’t told another living person. And he realized that Megan was way too easy to talk to. Though they weren’t romantically involved, he felt a kinship with this woman that he didn’t understand. In spite of their reticence, they’d become good friends.
“Actually, it kind of feels good to finally talk about it,” he said. “For so long, I’ve kept it all bottled up inside. I thought I’d gotten over it, but maybe not. In retrospect, I didn’t realize until too late that my wife and I weren’t compatible. Even though she hated my work, I loved it and have never regretted it.”
Megan released a pensive sigh, and he realized that she understood. And that somehow brought them closer together. He couldn’t explain why, but he felt as if he could trust Megan. That she was genuine and would never betray him.
“And what about you?” He met her gaze. Her expressive eyes seemed to search deep inside of him, and he had to look away.
She lifted one shoulder. “What about me?”
“Tell me about your husband.”
“Talk about blunt.” She laughed, but it sounded cold and hollow.
“I’m sorry, but I’d really like to know some more about him.”
She took a deep breath and let it go. “We met in college, too. He was in a forestry program, and I was going to culinary school. His profession was much like yours. I always knew we’d live in small towns. It kind of goes with working for the Forest Service. Like you, he always worked on a fire crew during the summer months, to pay his school tuition in the fall. Then, right out of college, he joined the Minoa hotshot crew and hoped to one day work his way up to becoming the superintendent. I was raised in small towns, so I never minded his work, until he got killed. Then I didn’t...”
She trailed off, as though she couldn’t speak the words. But he knew. She’d lost her husband in a wildfire and that must have soured her on the profession. He couldn’t really blame her.
“Likewise, I’m sorry to make you rehash painful memories,” he said with an understanding smile. “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, losing your husband and raising two kids on your own.”
“No, it hasn’t. And yet, I have a lot to be grateful for.”
“Me, too. But how’d you end up owning the restaurant?”
She gripped the armrest and gazed out at the scenery as it flashed by. “My father-in-law owned it. My husband grew up working in the diner, just like I’m raising my kids. When his dad passed away a few years ago, he left the restaurant to us. I was already working there as a cook, so it seemed natural for me to just step in and run the place. In retrospect, it was a blessing. It gave me a livelihood after...after Blaine died.”
“You have two wonderful kids,” he said.
“Yes, they’re great, aren’t they?”
He smiled, liking the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about her children. She was a good mother. “The best. And I even think June is starting to like me.”
“She is. She’s just very cautious,” Megan said.
“And probably still missing her dad.”
Megan inclined her head. “Yes. I worry about both of them.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I’m so busy. I’m working at the restaurant all the time. I’d send the kids to a child care provider more frequently, but then I’d never get to see them. Thankfully, they’re pretty well behaved most of the time, so I bring them with me when I can.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said. “I think your kids are exceptional. They mind you very well, have good manners, and seem inquisitive and happy. You’ve done a great job with them.”
She smiled her thanks, and the warmth of happiness filled his chest. He liked the way this woman made him feel better about himself. He had a lot to be grateful for. He was making new friends and had a thriving career. All he was missing was someone to share his life with. Someone to confide all his hopes and dreams to.
Someone to love.
“I envy you that,” he said.
“
You mean my children?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I always wanted kids. Now I may never get the chance.”
His heart gave a hard pinch. Without a wife and family of his own, he felt as though he were missing out on a vital part of life. He didn’t want to be alone, but he didn’t want to be hurt again, either.
“I’m sure you’ll marry again. You’ll have children one day,” she said.
He released a heavy sigh. “I’m not so sure.”
And suddenly, he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. It hurt too much. For so long, he’d pushed everyone away. Any woman that had gotten too close, he feared they might break his heart again. He hadn’t even considered dating or being with another woman.
Until recently.
“I have to put in an appearance at the retirement party tonight, but when you’ve had enough, you just let me know and we’ll leave. We don’t have to stay all evening,” he said.
“Okay, thanks.”
The topic of discussion changed, and by the time they arrived in Reno, Jared felt as though he’d known this woman all his life.
They pulled into valet parking. Stars glittered in the sky. Darkness gathered around them, and he saw Megan shiver. Handing his keys over to the attendant who would park his truck, Jared smoothed Megan’s sweater over her shoulders. He took her arm and politely escorted her into the party. Although he smiled and chatted with her, a heavy sadness settled over him. The conviction that he might never get a second chance at love. And as much as he hated the thought of being hurt again, nothing frightened him more than living the rest of his life all alone.
Chapter Ten
As Jared accompanied Megan into the retirement party, she felt his fingertips resting lightly on her back. A simple gesture. Polite and considerate. Not really territorial. And yet, it branded them as a couple.
They paused in the outer foyer, and she stepped away, trying not to appear obvious in her efforts to put some distance between them. Music filtered over the air along with the low hum of happy chatter. People clustered together, laughing and sipping from their glasses. Megan recognized a couple of them and couldn’t help feeling a tad jittery. Even if this wasn’t a real date, she was still here with Jared. She was his date for the night in deed, if not in name.