Dancing On Air

by Hurley-Moore, Nicole

  ‘I’m sorry Miss, what did you say?’

  ‘Take me to Beggars Mews.’

  ‘A fine lady like yourself doesn’t want to go to a place like that.’

  ‘Yes, I do — now if you would be so kind and take me there at once. If not I shall find another who will.’

  With a shrug of his shoulders the driver flicked the reins and the carriage moved off. Lisette stared out the window at the gas-lit street. I will not cry... I will not cry. Her hands clasped hard together in her lap, her body stiff as if she was a wind-up music box that had been wound too far. Tension turned her stomach as the carriage clattered over the dark cobblestones. Minutes passed but she did not heed them as her mind was trapped in a never-ending loop.

  ‘I can’t marry you! I mean... It is not that I do not wish to marry you. It is that my family would never allow it. I may be the second son but my father is an Earl. I am expected to marry a girl of impeccable breeding, with ready money and estates. I thought you would understand that.’

  His words were as bitter as any bile and Lisette squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to block them out. What a fool she had been to think that Evander would actually marry her. After several minutes the carriage jerked to a halt and Lisette was shaken out of her thoughts. She quickly descended, handed a coin to the driver and turned away, relieved that she was finally alone.

  ‘Do you want me to wait?’ the driver called out.

  ‘No, but thank you for your concern,’ Lisette said softly. ‘I shall be fine.’

  ‘Very well, but it don’t seem right,’ the driver said before he took up the reins again. ‘Walk on!’

  Lisette didn’t wait for the carriage to leave; she was already walking down Beggars Mews, towards where she belonged. Tears fell of their own accord and trickled down her cheeks. She let them fall unchecked. She tried to erase the rosy picture from her mind; the perfect image of what her future with Evander would have been like. What a fool she had been, so blinded by Evander’s charm and pretty words she had lost sight of reality. A reality that was hard and sharp and cut her to pieces.

  The rain was falling heavier now and it made the metal steps of the staircase slippery. Lisette paused when she was half way up. She leant on the rail and dragged in a breath. The air was cold and a shudder rippled through her body. The rain splattered on her, running down her face, mingling with her tears. Her fingers tightened over the rail and the iron bit into her flesh. The first sob reverberated from deep within, then she sank down on the tiny, open landing and wept. How could she have misjudged him? How could she have been so wrong?

  She didn’t know how long it took for her heaving sobs to stop. She swayed on her feet as she stood up. Her dress was wet through and she couldn’t stop shivering. With trembling fingers, Lisette opened the catch of the window and ducked into her room.

  ‘Lisette, is that you?’

  Cringing, Lisette walked through her room. She had hoped that Aunt Marie would have been asleep but, of course, that was not the case. Lisette wasn’t sure how long she had sat out on the landing for tonight. A minute or an hour? No matter how long it was she had no more tears left. Her throat was dry and hoarse from crying. She felt tired, spent and numb. The last thing she wanted was to be interrogated by her aunt but luck was far from her side.

  ‘Yes, Aunt Marie.’

  ‘Good. Well, come in here and tell me how your evening was.’

  Lisette stepped through into the main room but leant against the wall.

  ‘It was fine. If you don’t mind Aunt... I am very tired.’

  Marie turned her head and almost immediately her interest was snared. ‘What has happened to your face — your eyes are puffy. You can go to bed after you have explained what has happed tonight and why you are dripping wet.’

  ‘Evander asked me to be his mistress.’ Lisette’s voice sounded hollow and each word caught and scratched at her throat.

  Marie smiled. ‘Is that not what you hoped for, Lisette? I was sure that you were in love with him.’

  ‘I am but I also thought he was in love with me. I was inexperienced and stupid but I thought that Evander would marry me.’

  Marie threw back her head and laughed. It was harsh and mocking and it stabbed at Lisette’s heart. ‘Dear God, child, are you so simple? Of course Lord Gainswith could never marry you, but he will provide for you. What did he offer?’

  Lisette shivered as she tried to be detached from her emotions. She stood by the door and wondered if it was another girl altogether speaking. Her voice sounded desolate and jagged and not at all her own. ‘He offered a house and an allowance...and his time whenever he could manage it.’

  ‘Good, good...but I’m sure we can sweeten the deal. Perhaps we can get him to include a carriage and a higher allowance which encompasses your gowns.’

  ‘There will not be any deal. I will not see Lord Gainswith again!’

  Marie’s smile broadened. ‘Oh you little fool, you truly are in love with him. Go to bed. Everything will appear clear in the morning. If you want Evander, the only way you can have him is if you accept his offer.’

  ‘I will not change my mind, Aunt Marie. If he does not marry me, then I shall not have him,’ Lisette said.

  ‘Go to bed. You are becoming shrill. And get out of those wet clothes before you fall ill. We will discuss whether or not you are going to accept Lord Gainswith’s arrangement tomorrow,‘ Marie said before turning her head as if to dismiss her.

  Lisette walked back into her room and began to strip off her sodden clothes. If Evander had truly loved her, he would have found a way to marry her.

  Marie reached for her brandy and threw it back in one gulp. Lisette was an idiot to think she actually thought the boy would marry her. Silly little chit! She showed that she inherited her mother’s lack of brains and intellect. Mélisande had been the same, all wrapped up in the ideals of love without paying any attention to reality.

  Biting her bottom lip, Marie shook her head. Mélisande had been swayed by trinkets and declarations of love. Her mind would spin with perfect pictures of the future, which included herself, Lisette, and the new beau as the ideal family. But it was always Marie who had to find dinner each night and enough coin to keep a roof over their heads. Once her sister became famous then Marie’s job was simplified. At least there was more than enough money to feed the three of them.

  But just as their lives looked promising, Mélisande had found love with a secret beau. She was going to leave, taking her money and Lisette with her. After everything Marie had done for her, she was preparing to abandon her. Marie wouldn’t allow that to happen; she wouldn’t be abandoned or betrayed.

  For months Marie had been seeing the hedonistic Vincent de Vale. He was a young lord who had just come into his fortune, with the demise of his poor, dear papa. He was younger than Marie and at the beginning she thought him impressionable. She had been wrong but they were drawn together just as strongly as a moth flies towards the deadly flame. They amplified each other’s lusts and wants and lack of empathy. Marie fed Vincent’s ever-growing dark desires and lined their pockets with the stupidity and suffering of others. She would use Vincent to seduce her sister. Mélisande’s affair with her secret love would end and then she would find a way for a small accident to befall her. Nothing too serious, just enough so Marie could replace her as the principal dancer. It was a simple enough plan but then everything changed with a look.

  It was a small glance that neither Mélisande nor Vincent realized she had witnessed. But Marie had seen the way Vincent looked at her sister. it was a look of something soft, fragile and pure. Marie had been stunned. In an instant her world tipped and as she gazed at Mélisande she felt the hot, white rage infuse every pore of her body. Mélisande had always had everything — the beauty, grace, and ability. Men fell under her spell as if by magic and she was the darling of the Paris de opera. But she would not have Vincent, no one ever would. Vincent belonged to her.

  Marie refilled her glass a
nd took another mouthful. It burned the back of her throat. The past was as dead as Mélisande; best let it lie. To think on it gives the ghosts of the past power, power to come and accuse. Besides, she had more important things to contemplate, the first being how she was going to make Lisette see what an opportunity it was for her to become Evander’s mistress.

  Evander reached for the champagne flute and threw its contents down his throat with one gulp. He reached for the bottle, refilled the glass and drained the bubbly liquid immediately. He barely registered the fruity taste or the exquisite sensations as a myriad of tiny bubbles exploded in his mouth.

  He slumped back in his chair and stared ahead, focusing on nothing as he replayed the scene with Lisette over again in his head. The last thing he had expected was that she would leave. He tossed the glass back on the table and contemplated another drink. She had said that she loved him, but obviously not enough. He had thought that she would be happy that he had found a way they could be together. After all the trouble and expense he was willing to outlay, after all the time and thought he had put.... He closed his eyes and rubbed one hand over his wrinkled brow.

  But that was just it: he hadn’t thought. The revelation jarred and scraped against his brain. He hadn’t thought of the sacrifice Lisette would have to live with if she became his mistress. He had been so intent on what he wanted and how he could provide a love haven for them both, he had lost sight of how his decisions would impact her. His haven would quite easily become her hell. His love would mark her as a pariah and all of her fears she voiced when they first met would come to fruition. And what if their union begot children, his children... How would his actions impact them? A picture of Lisette holding a baby materialized in his brain. As the enormity of his thoughtlessness hit him, he thought for a moment that he might be sick as the bile rose in his throat.

  His mind’s eye replayed the instant he had broken her heart. He had seen it on her face and in her eyes. The twin flames of regret and guilt spiralled through him. He had just hurt the one thing he loved even more than Temperly. Keelhauling was too good for him.

  He snatched up the bottle of champagne and took a swig. Hell and damnation, what an imbecile he was! His only hope was that she would forgive him and give him a second chance. Not that he deserved it.

  In a fluid movement, Evander stood up and withdrew his billfold from the inside of his jacket. He took out several notes and threw them on the table before he strode out of the restaurant. The doorman quickly hailed the nearest hansom. Evander flipped him a coin in thanks as he got into the carriage.

  ‘Where to gov’nor?’

  ‘Beggar’s Mews,’ Evander said to the driver. ‘As quickly as you can.’

  The driver raised a bushy eyebrow. ‘If you say so gov’, but I won’t be waiting around.’

  Evander didn’t answer, as he was more preoccupied praying to God that Lisette would forgive him. The cab lurched forward and Evander swayed from side to side as the carriage bumped over the rain-wet cobblestones.

  It was taking what seemed like forever to get to Lisette’s. Evander took out his gold pocket watch. By the light of the passing gaslights he was able to read the Roman numerals. It appeared that time itself was slowing and he wondered if it would be quicker if he just got out and ran. At least then he would be doing something. He replaced his watch and then fidgeted on the seat. Finally he saw Beggar’s Mews edge into view and, before the driver had a chance to bring the horses to a standstill, Evander was already halfway out the door. Without a word he jumped down and jogged towards Lisette’s building.

  The rain fell gently and the smell of it sweetened the dank air. Evander opened the front door and stepped inside. He brushed the rain off his shoulders as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. The interior was dark and lit by one flickering gaslight. As he strode up the creaking wooden steps, he cast monstrous shadows on the dim, cracked walls. How anyone as beautiful as Lisette could live in such a depressing tenement always surprised him. But soon he would find a way to rescue her and it would not be by becoming his mistress. At the very top of the stairs he stopped and took a breath. The dim light barely reached this far up and he squinted as he stepped towards the peeling attic door.

  ‘Lisette, Lisette let me in. I did everything all wrong and I must apologise,’ Evander said through the door before he knocked. ‘Please Lisette, let me in.’ He waited with his ear against the door but could hear no movement from within. Again he knocked, this time louder and with a bit more force.

  ‘Lisette, it’s me, Evander. Let me in, I need to speak with you.’ The sound of heels clicking across a wooden floor emanated from behind the door. The key turned in the lock and the door cracked open. ‘Lisette, I was a fool... I... Oh, Madame Devoré... I’m sorry to disturb you.’

  The door opened a little wider and Marie Devoré appeared in its threshold.

  ‘Lord Gainswith, the hour is late and Lisette has retired for the evening.’

  ‘Forgive me, Madame, but I must see her.’

  ‘I’m sorry, my lord but she does not wish to see you. Perhaps you can try again tomorrow...at a decent hour.’ She stood in his way like a turret wall and just as impregnable. ‘Or catch her before the performance tomorrow.’

  ‘It is important, I must beg her forgiveness,’ Evander said as he stepped closer, but Madame Devoré held up her hand.

  ‘Non monsieur, she will not come. I do not know what you said but Lisette is heartbroken and refuses to speak to you. Perhaps tomorrow. Try again tomorrow.’

  The word ‘heartbroken’ stabbed at his heart. ‘Please Madame, I beg you.’

  But Madame Devoré shook her head. ‘Non. I’m sorry monsieur.’

  Evander realised that pursuing the matter was useless, so he stepped back and bowed. ‘Until tomorrow then, Madame Devoré. I bid you goodnight.’ He turned and tramped back to the stairs. He heard the door shut firmly behind him and felt a wave of frustration sweep through him. If he had just been able to say sorry, if she had just seen him for a moment, he knew that she would have forgiven him. He slapped the rickety banister as he hurried down the staircase.

  Outside, the street appeared to be deserted, a fine rain fell and an icy wind had begun to blow through the dirty alleys. It was dismal and bleak and reflected the entire evening. The carriage driver had been true to his word and left, leaving Evander little choice but to walk back towards the theatre. Once back on a busy thoroughfare he should be able to find another hansom cab.

  It was just as well he had to walk, Evander thought as he strode down the lane. He felt annoyed, frustrated and guilt-ridden. It was as if he had a ball of energy pulsating within him, growing and looking for an escape. Maybe the walk would clear his head and settle his emotions. He had been walking only a few minutes when two long shadows ahead solidified into figures.

  ‘Evening, gov’. What brings a fine gentleman like yourself down here?’ He was a small man with a wiry build and his features seemed pinched together. His long hair was partially hidden by a brown cap and he wore a thin blue scarf around his neck.

  Evander nodded but said nothing as he neared the pair.

  ‘Here, Silas. The gent is above talkin’ to the likes of us.’

  Evander glanced at Silas. He was twice the size of the first man and resembled a small mountain. ‘Not at all, gentlemen. It is that I have much upon my mind. I am in a hurry but I do wish you both a good evening.’

  ‘Here, Silas. A proper gent after all.’ The little man stepped forward and blocked Evander’s path. He gave Evander an exaggerated bow but as he straightened up there was a sneer on his face. ‘We will wish you a nice night as well, just as soon as you hand over your billfold.’

  ‘I think not.’

  ‘Now, I don’t want this to turn...unpleasant. Just hand over your money and Silas here won’t hurt you.’

  ‘I’m afraid that I must decline.’

  ‘Shall I hit him now, Robbie?’

  Robbie stepped back and gave a shrug. ‘I
t looks that way, Silas. Pity, it could have been a simple transaction.’

  ‘A transaction? What exactly am I getting out of it?’ Evander asked with a smile on his face. Perhaps he would get the chance to work off all the pent-up frustration he was feeling after all.

  ‘Why, you get to walk away unharmed. Here, what are you smiling at? Are you simple in the head? If you don’t give me your money Silas will take it from you. Do you wish to reconsider now?’

  ‘Ah, I see, but my answer is still no.’

  ‘Suit yourself. Silas, get me his wallet.’

  Silas lumbered forward and swung a punch, one that Evander easily avoided. Evander spun around and waited patiently for the other man to turn and face him again. ‘I think you may have to move a little faster than that.’

  Silas frowned. ‘’Ere… Stop dancing about and face me like a man.’

  ‘You seem to forget, my dear Silas — this was none of my doing. Why on earth would I stand still so you can hit me?’

  ‘Oh come on, Silas, get on with it. We don’t have all night,’ Robbie said as he pulled out a silver pocket watch and checked the time.

  Urged on by his companion’s words, Silas lunged forward. Once again Evander dodged the incoming blow. The momentum sent Silas staggering forward and, to add insult to injury, Evander booted his backside as he went past. Silas fell to his knees on the wet cobblestones. He let out a howl of frustration as he regained his footing.

  Evander felt Robbie’s hands around his neck as he tried to secure him from behind.

  ‘Stop playing at it, Silas. Now hurry up and —’

  But Robbie didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. Evander reached up and pulled him headfirst over his shoulder. Robbie’s back hit the ground hard, leaving him stunned.

  Silas ran forward but this time Evander didn’t sidestep him. He attacked with a series of blows to the other man’s midsection. Silas managed one punch in retaliation. It caught Evander just under his cheek. It stung like the very blazers but Evander put up his guard before attacking the waning Silas again.