Secrets of My Hollywood Life #5: Broadway Lights

by Jen Calonita

  Sky is right. This is for charity. One kiss can't hurt, right? I grab my wax lips and stand on my tiptoes. All I can see are Dylan's eyes. I close my own and feel my wax lips ripped out of my hands.

  "What are you, two? You have to kiss him onstage anyway!" Sky insists. She grabs me by the arm and steers me around the table, which was the only barrier between me and Dylan. She shoves me toward Dylan, and he catches me. His arms linger around my bare shoulders, and I can barely breathe. "No wax lips."

  "But--" I protest. My skin is starting to feel prickly.

  "I'm not sure about that," Liz says worriedly. "The photographer--"

  "It's okay, Kaitlin," Dylan looks down at me. Wow, he is tall. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

  "It's not that," I start to explain.

  I am momentarily blinded by the first flash and then another and then another. Sky is yelling in my ear, Liz is pulling on my arm, and Riley swears under her breath (a British term I shouldn't repeat), but I'm mesmerized by Dylan's eyes. They're really nice and his dimpled grin is so cute. I don't think, I just act. I grab Dylan's vest lapel, pull him in close, and lay one on him. And...

  Wow. Really wow.

  His lips are softer than I imagined and feel different. Different from Austin's is all I can think, but my heart's racing anyway. Dylan leans into the kiss and doesn't pull away.

  This is nice. Really nice. My shoulders relax and... OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I DOING?

  I let Dylan go, but the camera flashes continue to pop. My face is beet red. I hope you can't tell in the photos. Actually, I take that back. I hope you can, for once, so Austin will know I didn't like it.

  Even if I did.

  Sky looks satisfied. "There! Was that so hard?"

  Dylan smiles at me and I try to smile back, but inside I feel all weird and squishy, like I do if I eat ice cream too fast or eat too many Oreos.

  I feel... guilty.

  "Next!" Sky says. "Bye-bye, RI-LEE! Bye, Dyl!"

  "See you Monday?" Dylan asks, his face totally calm and relaxed, as if he kisses other people's significant others every day of the week. Oh yeah. I guess we both do. We're actors. "At rehearsal? Then maybe Monkey Bar?"

  "Rehearsal, yes," I tell him, and stop myself there. "See you then."

  "K, snap out of it," Sky says, as I watch him walk off. "We have paying customers waiting."

  "Right, right," I agree. I wipe my lips with a baby wipe and quickly apply more ChapStick. And then apply ChapStick again. I rub it on my lips harder and harder.

  "Are you okay, Kates?" Liz asks worriedly.

  "I ine," I mumble as I continue to rub my lips with ointment. And that's when I realize what I'm trying to do--erase Dylan's kiss from my lips, as if that were possible. And even if it were, there would still be proof--in the People photos. I've got to call Austin and explain. He already thinks Dylan has a crush on me. He's going to freak out. I'm kissing Dylan and I'm not at work! What if the photos, like, show how into the kiss I was? For just a second, of course, but what if?

  What if Austin can tell I enjoyed that kiss?

  "K! Come on!" Sky insists and throws my wax lips at me. "Get back to work and start kissing!"

  "Sorry!" I smile at the next payee apologetically. I pick up my wax lips and prepare to plant a kiss on the nervous-looking guy, but all I can think about is Austin.

  Saturday, June 13th

  NOTE TO SELF:

  Call Austin ASAP.

  MEETING OF THE MINDS

  SCENE 6

  In line in the cafeteria.

  JENNY:

  Amy! Amy! HELL-O? Amy!

  ANDIE:

  (turns around) Are you talking to me?

  JENNY:

  (impatiently) Yes!

  ANDIE:

  I'm Andie.

  JENNY:

  Whatever. Listen, Andie, whatever it was you were trying to say to my boyfriend back there, you can save your breath. Leo isn't interested.

  ANDIE:

  I didn't think he was, Jenny. This is more about me than it is him. I don't want to start the rest of my life having regrets. Sort of a carpe diem on my last day as a minor, you know?

  JENNY:

  Carpe what? Leo didn't even know you breathed the same air until today. Even if he did, you don't belong with our crowd and you know it.

  Don't embarrass yourself.

  ANDIE:

  (lowering her voice) You're the one who should be embarrassed. I saw you. Last weekend. With Thomas Lopez at the Bait Shack, and I don't think he's part of your crowd either. Unless you started accepting members from the Spanish Honor Society all of a sudden.

  JENNY:

  You... you... I would never hang out with Thomas Lopez. And if I were you, I wouldn't dare say another word about something you know nothing about. Got it? (gets bumped in the back) OW!

  JORDAN:

  Oops. Didn't realize I was standing so close to you. Hey! That shade of Jell-O looks really good against your orange tan.

  JENNY:

  (shrieking) It's Golden Summer! And you just got Jell-O all over my new shirt! I was going to wear this to Leo's graduation party.

  JORDAN:

  Guess you'll be wearing something else then, won't you?

  (Jenny stalks off and Jordan and Andie burst out laughing.)

  ANDIE:

  What was that about? I've never heard you open your mouth to their crowd before.

  JORDAN:

  Maybe you've inspired me. We do only have twenty-four hours left here, you know. How bad could Jenny make things for me?

  LEO:

  Andie?

  ANDIE:

  Leo! Hey.

  LEO:

  Do you have a minute?

  JORDAN:

  She actually has eleven till next period. (Andie nudges her.) I think I'll take my Jell-O to go.

  ANDIE:

  (smiling) I have eleven minutes.

  LEO:

  So I heard. Then maybe we should start talking. But first, this conversation is going to need ice cream. I'm getting the fudge pop. What can I get you? My treat.

  ANDIE:

  Okay. The strawberry fruit bar, please.

  LEO:

  You got it. (hands bar to Andie) So... you wanted to tell me something?

  ANDIE:

  Yes, and here it goes...

  SIX: It Ain't Over Till the Fat Lady Sings

  "Amy! Amy! HELLO? AMY!" Riley takes her cue and bounds out onstage in a violet tank top and khaki cargo shorts. Her tone is impatient with me, just like the one she uses in real life.

  My line! "Are you talking to me?" I ask, sounding confused. I'm wearing black Bermuda shorts and a fitted white Juicy tee that says "Juicy loves drama." We haven't worn costumes for rehearsal yet, not that our stage clothes are really binding. Riley wears a cheerleading uniform and I'm in jeans. "I'm Andie," I say and enunciate loudly the way my acting coach taught me.

  This is really fun. Acting on stage is just like rehearsals for Family Affair. We always ran through everything before shooting. Except on stage, your first take is your only take--when you've got an audience I mean. And I think I'm going to like that a lot. It's live and anything can happen.

  Riley shakes her head at me. "Kaitlin, I was supposed to say 'yes' before you said 'I'm Andie.' Remember?"

  She's right. I know she is. Just like she was right in the last scene when I accidentally cut out one of her lines by skipping her. "Sorry."

  "I know you are," Riley says patiently and fiddles with the tiny purple pearl earring in her right ear. "This is very different from cinema, I'm sure. If you trip me up, then I trip up Karen and she trips up Dylan and it's all rubbish. Do you see what I mean, lovely?"

  I shake my head, aware that the rest of the cast is watching me, including Karen, who plays Jordan. Everyone looks uncomfortable, as they usually do when Riley berates me. I just wish I knew if it's because she's being obnoxious or because I'm such a rube. Forest isn't here today. It's just the cast members. Whene
ver Forest's not in the house, I get more anxious around Riley because she tends to make a spectacle of the fact that I don't know theater the way she does.

  "Now did you watch that video on stage direction on the American Theatre Wing website I told you to?" Riley questions. I nod again. "We don't want to have what happened yesterday, do we? When we queue up in the cafeteria, I'm behind you, not in front of you. Something like that can mess up the show's whole aesthetic."

  "Riley, come on now," Dylan tells her. He's wearing an outfit similar to his character, a black tee that shows off his fit upper torso, tight jeans that are torn at the knee, and black Converse. Running his hand through his dark, short hair, he looks tired of having to talk her down for the millionth time today. "Kaitlin is working her arse off. "

  "I know she is, Dylan." Riley crosses her arms over her chest and I notice the small ruby ring on the middle finger of her right hand. "Everything I tell her is for her own good. I don't want her going on stage opening night, messing up like she continually does, and feeling like a total wanker. She should shine!"

  "You're right," I tell Riley, blushing, and ducking behind my hair a little. But why does she have to constantly bring up every little thing I do wrong?

  "Now let's try that again, shall we?" Riley claps her hands. She's somehow taken over Forest's role when he's not around. ("I do have the most experience, having been on stage since I was two.") "Let's take it from the next line."

  Riley rolls her shoulders back, shakes her head, and takes a deep breath. She even closes her eyes and I try not to snort. Yesterday she caught me laughing at her "mental preparation," as she calls it, and I got a ten-minute lecture on theater etiquette.

  "Whatever," Riley drawls in a dead-on American accent. I have to admit, Riley is good. "Listen, Andie, whatever it was you were trying to say to my partner back there, you can save your breath. Leo..."

  "Boyfriend," I interrupt and Riley just blinks. "You said 'partner.' Isn't it 'boyfriend'?" Everyone is looking at me. I look at Dylan. He tries not to smirk. Oh no. I probably shouldn't have done that.

  "Bugger! Kaitlin's right," Riley smiles at me thinly. "It is boyfriend. We say partner in England, you know. It's so hard keeping track of two dialects, you have no idea." She walks across the quiet stage, her white sandals making clomping sounds. "You're so lucky all you've ever had to master is your own accent, Kaitlin. You'd have the hardest time trying to speak like a Brit."

  "Actually, I used a British accent in..." Dylan coughs and I shut up. I've learned his cues to navigate Riley's wrath. Right now, he's inconspicuously trying to signal me to close my mouth. Which I do. "You're right, Riley." I smile patiently trying to glue my lips shut to keep from screaming.

  "You're lucky you have me, Kaitlin." Riley strides back my way and puts her arm around me, turning me slightly to face the others. "On the stage, there is no 'I,' only 'we.' We work together or we all fail. When I was in Gypsy--you've seen Gypsy, haven't you?"

  I don't look her in the eyes. "I haven't."

  Riley gasps and drops her bony arm as if I'm on fire. "Kaitlin, it's another classic. I saw Gypsy when I was just a wee one. It was the second play I saw after Jesus Christ Superstar."

  My voice is even smaller. "I haven't seen that either."

  Riley looks around at the others. Some actually look surprised too, I notice as I lift my eyes ever so slightly to peek at the others. Some just roll their eyes. "Can you imagine? These are staples every trained theater actor has seen! You should really see a local production, Kaitlin. It's so important to view others' works for your craft."

  "I just got tickets to see Rock of Ages for this week." I look at Riley hoping this will appease her. Instead she looks at me like I've just suggested she watch American Idol.

  "Rock of Ages can't compare to Jesus Christ Superstar!" She's so shocked she's stuttering and she looks to the others for support, but no one gives her any. "That's like, that's like, comparing Gypsy to Mary Poppins!"

  "I liked Mary Poppins." I'm beginning to realize I can't win. "I saw it the other night." I'm trying to see as many plays as I can before I start my own show.

  "A Disney show!" she laughs. "Oh, Kaitlin, whatever will we do with you?" She looks at her shiny silver Movado watch. "Loo break! We'll reconvene in fifteen minutes."

  Karen and Riley head off to the bathroom and I collapse cross-legged on the dusty scuffed-up floor, knowing I'm dirtying my Rebecca Taylor shorts, but I couldn't care less. All I want to do is hear Austin's voice. I dial his number and wait patiently till I hear him pick up.

  "Hi, you've reached Austin," I hear him say.

  "Austin! Hey, it's me," I say quickly, excited to finally catch him. "I haven't talked to you in two days..."

  "You know what to do at the beep," he says. "I'll call you back soon. Promise." BEEP.

  It's a message. A new message that I don't recognize, which is what confused me. "It's me." I can't help sounding glum. "Call me, okay? Miss you." I hang up and shove my phone into my overstuffed snakeskin bag. (I'm carting around a change of clothes for the meeting I have with Laney later.) Why did he change his message since yesterday?

  "Chin up, mate." Dylan joins me on the floor, not minding that his battered jeans are getting dirty too. He offers me half of his Cadbury bar, and I look around for Riley ("No more cupcakes, Kaitlin! Theater is about being dedicated to your body!") before I take it. He has them shipped over here from the UK because he swears the Cadbury sold in the States tastes different. "What's that saying you guys have? Riley's bark is worse than her bite?"

  I laugh. "That's it. I hope you're right."

  Dylan is sitting right next to me and our knees are touching. He smells a little like pineapple. Maybe it is CK One cologne. And even in just a faded Ed Hardy tee, I've been sneaking looks at him all rehearsal. His biceps peek through his tee. He must work out a lot.

  "It's too bad Meeting of the Minds already opened." Dylan snaps me out of my thoughts. "You could really use the Gypsy Robe."

  "I read about the Gypsy Robe," I tell him excitedly. It was in one of the books I read about the Great White Way. HOLLYWOOD BROADWAY SECRET NUMBER SIX: The ritual of the Gypsy Robe occurs on the opening night of a Broadway musical right before the curtain goes up. The whole cast and members of the production get together on stage and form a circle. In the center is a performer who is supposed to be a representative of Actors' Equality and a former recipient of the ritual from the last musical that opened on Broadway. The performer holds a gorgeous decked-out robe that has memorabilia from past Broadway musicals all over it. The recipient of the robe is usually someone from the chorus who has performed in the most Broadway shows and embodies the qualities of the Broadway "gypsy"--someone who is dedicated, is professional, and has a seasoned career. The hope is that the robe brings luck and charm to the play's opening night.

  "I don't think it would work here, though," I tell Dylan, tracing my pointer finger along the floor. "This isn't a musical, this is my first show, and I'm not in the chorus."

  "Bollocks, you're right," Dylan says with a laugh. He rests his head on his knee. "You don't need it anyway. Everyone likes you, and you're going to be brilliant on opening night."

  "You think?" I know I'm fishing for it, but this is the sort of reinforcement that I shamelessly know I need right now. I pluck at the fabric of my cotton shirt, fretting. I'm freaked out enough about being on stage without worrying how I'm going to sound. I was hoping Austin would say the same thing, but he's been out of reach the past few days. I know he's just busy with finals and getting ready for lacrosse camp, but I really feel how much I miss him.

  "I know," Dylan tells me firmly. "Rehearsal is done in an hour, and I was going to take the tube uptown to get some lunch. You interested?"

  "Yes," I tell Dylan regretfully, "but I have a meeting with my publicist. She's in town with another client who is doing the talk shows."

  Dylan smiles, knits his forehead, and looks down at the painted black stage. "Maybe tomor
row then," he suggests. "We can even stay after to go over a few more scenes if you like."

  "I could really use the help." I struggle to get up and Dylan offers me his hand. He pulls me up and I find myself looking into his green eyes again.

  "Happy to," Dylan says and gives me the most amazing grin. Huh, look at that. He actually has two dimples, not one. It makes me blush, oddly, and I feel the heat move over my face.

  "That would be great." I feel my iPhone vibrate, and I run for my bag. "Will you excuse me a second?" Dylan nods. "Hello?"

  "Hey, stranger." Austin's voice growls in my ear.

  "Hey!" I'm so excited I practically scream. "I mean hi. And you're the stranger. I haven't spoken to you in two days."

  "Well, it feels like a lot longer," Austin tells me. "But I'm really sorry, Burke. We had those two meets in San Diego and we wound up staying overnight and by the time I went to call you, I realized it was too late."

  "It's okay," I say. Did I even know about those two meets? I can't remember either way. Then again, I didn't tell him about the charity kissing booth, which I have to do now. Eek. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

  "Does it sound good?" Austin teases.

  "Yes!" I laugh.

  "So what is it you wanted to talk about?" he asks. "I'm all ears."

  Okay, here it goes. "Do you remember me telling you about that Operation Read America event I went to the other night?"

  "Um... did you tell me you went to an Operation Read America event the other night?" Austin laughs. "Sorry. I can't remember."

  I'm a tinge annoyed. I did tell him and I talked about it for like an hour because it was at the Waverly Inn and I was really hoping to bump into Graydon Carter. But now is not the time to point that out. "That's okay. It was this event for charity and they had this kissing booth with the stars where people paid money to kiss celebrities."

  That gets his attention. "Go on."

  "And Sky and I were two of the kissers," I continue nervously. I can't think of a time I've ever been this nervous to talk to Austin, ever. "We wore wax lips and we kissed babies and it was all for a good cause." God, I sound like Laney. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know because you might see some pictures in the tabloids."