Without Doubt

by CJ Azevedo

  * * * * * *

  We didn’t make it down to the little crepe shop I had originally wanted breakfast from. Instead, Declan ordered a whole slew of items from room service. We stayed in bed, ate, talked and had lots of sex. Let’s face it, we had some catching up to do while taking advantage of the alone time also. Who knows when the next time is that we’ll get some of that.

  I learned a lot about Declan during our time in bed. One thing being that Declan James is a complete and utter clean freak. I knew he liked things neat and organized, but he’s borderline over the top, possibly OCD, in my opinion. I seriously think he may need some therapy. We’re in a hotel and he wipes out the water droplets left behind in the sink after washing his hands and even after I wash mine. I find this hilarious. I brush my teeth after our brunch and he’s standing there in his boxer briefs watching me and talking about Harper’s daycare.

  “I was just thinking that if she starts the preschool program after summer, then maybe we can look into schools closer to my place,” he suggests calmly, as though he’s not infiltrating himself completely into our lives.

  I swish out my mouth, shut off the tap and wipe my face and hands. “I don’t see how that makes any sense.” I’m not trying to argue with him, but I don’t get why he thinks that would be okay if it’s completely out of the way from my school and apartment. I place the towel so it’s draped over the front of the sink basin and the counter and reach up to brush out my hair.

  Declan sneaks a sly hand in to grab the towel and wipe out the sink and faucet. He gingerly folds the hand towel and places it next to the sink as he talks to me. “Well, I’ve been thinking about that, too. We should talk about you girls moving in with me.”

  I know I should be having an intelligent and mature conversation with him about this, but I can’t. Not right now while he’s completely oblivious to the fact that he just cleaned up after me; that he just dried the hotel sink. My hair falls across my face and I double over in laughter. When I can stand up straight, I see an amused smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised. His arms are folded over his muscled chest and he’s simply waiting for me to pull it together.

  “You don’t even realize what you just did do you?” I ask him, calming myself down.

  “What?” he replies, thoroughly confused.

  “Declan, you just dried the sink and refolded the towel I just set down. I’m pretty sure if you had a handheld vacuum, you would have searched for crumbs in the bed! You’re crazy! We’re on vacation, relax a little bit.”

  “First of all, you left your toothpaste spit in the sink along with strands of your hair. It’s gross. As far as the bed goes, you are the messiest eater I have ever known. I was being nice not saying anything but since you’re going to be an ass about my cleanliness, I’ll be one about your messiness.” He’s smiling my smile, the smile that’s reserved for me and I love it. I love him.

  “I’ll try to be cleaner and eat nicer.” I smirk, turning to wrap my arms around his neck and press my nakedness against him.

  “I like you dirty.” He winks and slaps my backside, leaving me in the bathroom and walking out to get dressed. “Macie’s going to be here soon so you girls can go down to the pool. Grey and I have some business to take care of real quick and then I’ll be back to take you to dinner in Paris. How does that sound?”

  “Sounds like a dream. Where are we eating?” I can’t believe this is my life.

  “The Eiffel Tower restaurant. It’s pretty nice; jeans are allowed but not too many people wear them, so dress up since I actually have the chance to take you somewhere fancy. And Ava?”

  It makes me a little nervous when he uses my name like that, so I don’t verbally respond. I just raise my eyebrows in question as I pull on my swimsuit.

  “We will be revisiting the moving conversation over dinner.”

  I’m not ready to confirm or deny that I’m ready to move in with him, so I appreciate that I have the afternoon to think about it. Declan’s wearing his signature outfit: jeans with his chunky silver belt, a black t-shirt with a UFC logo across the chest and a backwards black and grey hat, piercings in place. I watch him as he walks over to me and lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around him.

  “I think I should walk you down to the pool, that way whatever guys are there will know you’re with me.” He kisses me and I don’t argue. For one, he’ll get his way if he really wants it. And for two, I really don’t care if he feels the need to ward off other guys. I’m his, hopefully forever.

  “Yeah, let’s do that. Let me put a cover up or something on you and then we’ll go get Grey and Macie and head out.”

  I’m awarded another heart melting kiss. “I love you, Sunshine.”

  My smile is ridiculously wide, I’m sure of it. “I love you too.”

  * * * * * *

  Apparently Macie’s totally prepared to dress me this weekend. Once again, she had the perfect dress and shoes for me to where to do dinner tonight. It’s a simple silk gown, black and long and plain with a deep V at my chest and my back. It barely brushes the tops of my feet, which happen to be adorned with cherry red patent peep toes. I really feel like a million bucks.

  When we arrived, the hostess knew who Declan was and we were seated at the back of the restaurant in front of the huge windows. We’ve been talking and laughing and holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes while saying nothing at all. Cheesy romance movie scene? Definitely. Something that I will remember forever? Absolutely. Declan is my forever and I will do what’s necessary to make that happen. We just watched the water show that the Bellagio hotel puts on. The water and lights display is incredible and I really want to walk down to see it in person.

  “Ava, uh, you’ve mentioned once or twice that you won’t ever get married. They had always been flippant comments and you never went into detail. Care to now?” he asks expectantly.

  I’m sure I have given more of an explanation than he’s suggesting I have, but I’ll go over it again. It’s not common for girls my age to be dead set against marriage, so I think he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around it. “Sure,” I reply with a knowing smile. “It’s not the commitment I’m against if that’s what you’re concerned about,” he shakes his head a couple times letting me know it’s not, “I have just never understood why two people would need the law to have a say in their relationship. Whatever happens between committed couples should be worked out, resolved or celebrated between that couple and that couple alone. Judge Jones shouldn’t determine crap if husband X decides he wants to be unfaithful. Let the wife resolve his fate since it was his decision to get into a committed relationship with her, not Judge Jones’. I shouldn’t have to have a piece of paper with witnesses’ signatures, who think they know all about my relationship on it, because I guarantee you they don’t. I don’t need to be in a system where I am forever changed and judged and filed under all sorts of things just because I fell in love, I had a ring put on my finger and a judge or pastor or a man off the street who took an online class sign a document saying I’m now married.” I take a deep breath and prepare for Declan’s rebuttal. That’s only a portion of my reason behind not wanting to get married, but I’ll just give him that for now. It’s enough. Jackson used to argue my point all the time. He was raised by a lawyer and is on his way to becoming one himself, so arguing was fun for him, is fun for him, but he will never win this argument with me.

  “So those weren’t just flippant comments then?” Dec asks nonchalantly, the left side of his lips turning up in a smirk.

  I bring my linen napkin quickly up to my mouth to hopefully catch my outburst of laughter. I wasn’t prepared for that. After regrouping myself, I decide now is as good a time as any to see if staying with me is something he can do now that he knows how serious I am about not ever getting married. Can he handle that?

  “Do you want to revisit the moving conversation now?” I ask right after our dinner plates are removed and our desserts are ordered.

  �
��I do.”

  “All right then, let’s revisit.” I lean back in my seat and fold my hands in my lap to give this conversation my full attention. “I just want to say first that I don’t think I could’ve created a more perfect boyfriend to allow into Harper’s and my lives. You are more than I ever expected and I am completely in love with you.”

  “I am completely in love with you too, Sunshine. I hear a ‘but’ coming, so before you say it, hear me out.”

  Sly man. I’m not going to say “but.” There is no “but” here. I was getting ready to make sure he knew what he was getting into and then say hell yes I want to move in with him. I want every waking minute I have to spare to be with him and Harper both. I’m tired of trying to balance them.

  “Ava, I know you think this is too quick. And, hell, maybe it is for some people. But it’s not for us. It’s really difficult on all three of us to try and see each other, spend quality time together, while living twenty minutes apart. Your schedule is ridiculous and I hate it. I hate that you have a roommate and you and Harper have to share a room. I hate that you live in a shithole when you don’t have to anymore. I am crazy proud of you for all that you do on your own, but it doesn’t have to be so hard anymore, baby. Let me take on some of the load your carrying. Just move in with me, let me see your beautiful face every morning. Let me help tuck in Harper every night. Just say ‘Yeah, Dec, I’ll move in with you.’” During his speech, he turned his chair sideways and faced me head on, cupping my face with both hands and whispering softly.

  I’m about to lose it. I can feel the tears welling up and I’m only kind of trying to hide them. I feel all of the stress of my entire adulthood right at this very minute and I just want to let it all go. “Yeah, Dec, I’ll move in with you.”

  Making the decision to move in with your boyfriend is a big deal. It’s exciting and maybe even celebration worthy, but not so much tear worthy in my opinion. But my opinion isn’t stopping me from letting the welled up tears flow. I just want the weight of my life to be released some, even just a little.

  “I’m just so tired, Dec,” I admit. “I’m exhausted all the time. I love you and I can’t get enough of you, but you’re very demanding. You take up a lot of time and space in my head.”

  He looks wounded and I laugh as I wipe away tears. “That better be a good thing,” he says on a low growl.

  “It is. It’s a great thing. I’ve never been so consumed by anyone before and it’s amazing. It’ll just be so nice to be able to have you next to me while I sleep. It’ll even be nice to be able to have the time and privacy to get to have sex with you.”

  I wink and he rushes forward to kiss me hard and unabashedly. We should not be kissing like this in this restaurant, but I’m not going to stop him. I don’t want to and he would be super pissed if I tried, anyway. Dec does what he wants when he wants and as long as it’s within reason, I don’t stop him.

  “So that’s it. When we get home, you don’t stay at your place anymore. You’re coming straight home with me after we get Harper. Agree?”

  I know he’s asking but he doesn’t expect me to disagree with him. Disagreeing on this point is not going to be acceptable. “Agree,” I whisper to him with my eyes still closed.

  He just might be my happily ever after and I can’t wait to get started.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ava

  After a very long weekend in Vegas, we are finally getting home. Harper is sleeping, so we’re going to go over to Declan’s first to start planning the move. I don’t have a lot of belongings, but Harper does; her things are overtaking my apartment.

  I’m sitting in the car with Macie while Dec and Greyden take Macie’s bags into her house. She’s looking a little sullen. I’m not sure what went down with her this weekend, but I have a feeling something happened because she’s been a bit off the last couple of days.

  “You okay, Mace?” I ask, turning to her in the backseat as she collects her things.

  “Yeah, I’m great. I just have a lot to catch up on tonight and a million things bouncing around in my mind,” she responds with a smile.

  I don’t believe her, but apparently she doesn’t want to talk about it so I’ll just have to get with her this week and find out what’s going on.

  “I had so much fun with you this weekend, Ava. Let’s get together and do lunch this week, okay?”

  “Okay, call me if you need to talk, Macie. I’ll see you in a couple days.”

  She smiles a big fake smile again and gets out of the car. Dec comes back to the car alone, which means Greyden is staying here with Macie.

  “Ready to go home, Sunshine?” Declan asks as he puts the car in reverse and heads home.

  “I am, actually. I can’t wait for Harper to wake up. I miss her like crazy.”

  Declan laughs and grabs my hand. “Is it weird that I miss her too?”

  “Not weird at all. It’s actually kind of adorable.”

  “Just don’t tell the guys. They already think I’ve gone all pussified since I saw your hot ass at the bar. I really don’t need to hear what they would have to say about me being ‘adorable.’” He squeezes my hand and I feel like I’m in complete bliss. I love this man. “Aubrey’s going to bring Harper over as soon as she wakes up and my parents are going to come over for dinner. Are you good with that?”

  No! No, I’m not good with that. I’m freaking out just a little at the thought of having dinner with just his parents. I love his mom, but my daughter and I weren’t moving in with him when I met her and I still haven’t met his dad.

  “I’m good with that if it’s what you want,” I say bravely. “What are we going to do for dinner, though? I doubt you have what we’ll need to make a proper dinner and we don’t have time to hit the grocery store. You were out of wine last week too, and I don’t think you have anything to serve for dessert. Oh, God, what am I going to wear? I don’t think I have anything appropriate to wear with me, Declan. I need to go home.” Okay, I’m stressing the hell out. His parents? For dinner? Tonight? No, no, no, no, no, no.

  “Baby, calm down. Stop stressing out. I’ve already ordered Italian for delivery and my mom is bringing the wine. You can wear sweats if you want and you are going home, Ava, to our home.” He started off with a nice, soothing voice and ended it in a no argument stern tone. I breathe deeply and try to tell myself that everything really is ok and it’s not as ginormous of a deal as it seems to be.

  * * * * * * *

  I’ve been lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling fan for about ten minutes now. I’m showered and dressed and ready to go. Harper will be here any minute and Dec’s parents should be here within half an hour. I can’t be any more prepared for this.

  I hear the bedroom door open but I don’t lift my head to acknowledge him. I’m currently using all of my strength to stay calm and not freak out on him again. Three seconds pass, and as if my thoughts summoned him, Declan crawls up on the bed, his legs straddling my hips, his model gorgeous face staring down at me. His hair is combed neatly, his black slacks have replaced his jeans and his belt with the chunky silver buckle is in place. He’s already removed his piercings, but he’s missing his button down dress shirt; in its place is solid muscle showcased by his smooth tan skin and beautiful tattoos.

  “I love you,” he whispers fiercely. “My mom loves you. My dad is going to adore you. You, as usual, look beautiful. Thank you for doing this, Sunshine.” Declan leans down and kisses me softly.

  I’d like to say that, like in the romance movies, all of my worries went away along with my nerves, when in reality they just lessened a bit. They’re still there, but I’m willing to ignore them for him.

  “I have a surprise for you,” he whispers so close to my face that I can’t see his expression. He sounds excited.

  “I like surprises,” I murmur.

  Declan laughs and backs off of me and the bed, pulling me up and wrapping me in a hug before ushering me to the hallway. We walk across the landing that
connects the dual staircases. There are two rooms on this end—an office on the right and a spare room on the left, plus a guest bath at the end. Declan stops at the guest room and stares silently at me while he bites his bottom lip when he would usually be spinning his lip ring. He looks as though he’s trying to figure something out, so I just give him the time he needs. When I smile up at him, he draws in a steady breath before saying, “Whatever you hate, just say the word and we can change it. Or if this isn’t the room you wanted, just tell me and we can change that too, okay?”

  “Baby, what are you talking about? What did you do?”

  Declan winks at me and then opens the door. I don’t even have to step in to see what he’s done. He places his hand at my lower back and guides me into the room without saying anything, although I’m not saying anything either; I’m speechless. My breath has been taken from me as though it’s not necessary to breathe at the moment. It’s seriously the most beautiful room I have ever laid eyes on. This room doesn’t even belong in a home design magazine; it’s that beautiful. I take a few more steps and spin in a slow circle, trying to take it all in.

  He’s made a room just for Harper. I mean, I knew she would get her own room here, but I never imagined that he would do something like this. The walls are a shimmery white and there are pale pink drapes that bubble at the floor, tied back with large, white, glittery bows. Her bed is a silver Cinderella carriage with pink and white bedding and more throw pillows than I care to count at the moment. There are plush rugs throughout the room and the back main wall has a massive mural of a princess castle covering the expanse of it. On the opposite wall are a white chest of drawers with crystal knobs and a matching vanity with a stool. I’m pretty sure every little girl dreams of having a room like this; I know I did, but my dream never came true. Far from it, actually. Harper is going to lose her mind; this room is incredible.