by CJ Azevedo
“If you don’t sign this, Farrah can decide in five years that she wants Harper, full custody, or even joint custody and we will have go through all of this all over again, but it will be much worse, I guarantee you. Then she will most likely get at least fifty percent custody and Harper will have to start spending time in a strange place with a strange woman and whatever man Farrah is with at the time. Then, Ava, you won’t have any rights at all, not even visitation outside of what you can get from me as her aunt, not her mom. I can’t allow that to happen.”
Declan is just as stressed as I am and he’s angry too, not that I blame him. I’m not angry with him though; I’m pissed at the whole situation. Tears are streaming down my face and my breath is catching. Sitting across the table from me is the man that I love, the man that was taken from me by circumstance long before I was ready to give him up. I hate that I’m crying when I’m supposed to be strong, confident and cordial. I think I’m failing on all accounts. We’ve been in here for almost an hour and I need a break. I probably shouldn’t request one but it’s necessary at this point.
“Sally, may I please take a few minutes and use the ladies’ room?”
“Of course. I could use a coffee break myself. Let’s meet back in ten minutes and see if we can’t come to an agreement on this legal custody.” She once again smiles her warm, grandmotherly smile at me as if my world isn’t falling apart in front of her.
Sally walks to the back door and it closes soundly in the quiet room. Declan and I both stand and walk to the end of the table. I don’t think he’s going to say anything until just before we reach the door when he grabs my hand and stops me.
“Declan please, I just need a minute,” I say in a rush, trying to beat him to the door before he can cause any more heartache today.
“Sunshine, I love you. Please don’t walk out that door yet,” Declan says in desperation and a sob lets loose from my chest. “You’re assuming that I will be able to fall out love with you and love someone else or at least like someone else enough to bring them into mine and Harper’s life, but you’re wrong, Ava. I’m in my mid-twenties and you’re the first girlfriend I’ve ever had. You are my forever; I just need to figure out a way to convince you of that. I’m not going anywhere. The only thing I’m doing here is being a good Dad and doing all that I can to make sure I can give you what you want and need. I’m just protecting my girls. I’m doing everything in my power to assure that we remain a family unit. All you have to do is stop fighting me on it, Sunshine. Please.”
And just like that, my hope for getting my way in this mediation is obliterated. I know he won’t stop until he has his way concerning this situation because he truly feels like he’s exerting his only option.
“Declan, please just let me have a minute,” I practically beg him, looking away. I know that if I look into his eyes, I’ll cave. I’ll sign the papers that are sounding more and more like the inevitable and go home with him. I know why I started this and I still completely believe in my purpose, but the chances of me getting my way over his are seeming grimmer and all I need right now is air.
Instead of air, I get Declan and all of his manly scent that turns my insides to mush, his never-smelled-better cologne is all up in my space and my stupid eyes close, my lungs dragging in a deep breath hoping for fresh air, but my brain already knows it’s going to be wonderfully tricked. Declan cups my face and kisses me. Of course, I kiss him right back. I’ve missed him, I’ve been starved from him and my body begs me to take what I can get at this very moment. My fists clutch the lapels of his coat and his strong hands hold me firmly at my lower back. He pulls back just enough to break the kiss and our breath mingles together like a slow dance.
“I love you so much, Sunshine. I miss you more than you can imagine. If I thought we would never be in danger of losing our daughter I would walk out right now and not change a fucking thing, but that’s just not reality, baby. I’m sorry, so sorry, but we have to do this.” He kisses me softly as his words spin in my head.
I still need that air.
“Dec—”
“Right, you need a minute.” He steps back and holds the door open for me. Everyone stands up as we walk out to the hall and I keep walking straight to the lobby and out the front doors. I can hear footsteps behind me and I assume they belong to Jax.
I walk down the steps and out to the grassy area in front. I stop in front of a tree and lean my back against it as I look up at the sky through the branches. I was right; Jax followed me out. He’s now standing just a couple of feet from me, facing the same direction so I don’t have to feel scrutinized under his gaze, which I’m grateful for.
“He thinks what he’s doing is the right thing for everyone, ya know. I don’t believe he’s being malicious, Ava.”
“I know.”
“He’s being kind by going through this mediation process, but he won’t stop. He’s determined to keep her from Farrah.”
“I know this too, Jax.”
“I’m just wondering at what point are you going to stop?”
I think about his words for a minute or two; we’re both doing this to each other. We’re both hurting one another off of possibilities and in reality his possibility is much greater than mine, really. I know he’s it for me, he’s just admitted to me being his forever; apparently I’m it for him too. If I could just find a way to not feel like I’m giving up on Harper, I could give him what he wants, but as of right now I do feel that way and that’s just not something that I can live with.
I clear my throat, wipe my eyes, and begin walking back towards the front steps of the court house before responding to Jax. “It’s not going to be today.” I’m back to feeling a little more strong and confident. I’m still on the losing end with the instructions to be cordial, though.
Chapter Twenty-One
Declan
Another two hours in that musty room in those ancient, wood rolling chairs and we’re basically where we started. She’s not getting it; she’s not understanding how serious I am about keeping her and Harper together. This has very little to do with me and she doesn’t see that. I’m her father. I can fight until I’m blue in the face and even then I won’t stop to keep Harper with Ava and me and away from Farrah. Ava, on the other hand, won’t be able to say two words if Farrah comes back in here and fights for Harper. If Ava even has joint legal custody, Farrah can argue that she wants those rights and she will get them. Ava’s concerned about some imaginary future woman in my life, but she doesn’t know that she’s right; I am going to get married some day, but it’s going to be to her, not some random woman that she’s creating in her head.
“Well, I suggest that since you both have them, you consult your attorneys about how to move forward so we can remove ourselves from these stagnant waters. Please make another mediation appointment at the front window on your way out,” Sally says as she rubs her tired eyes. She’s too old to be doing this shit; she should have retired ten years ago.
It’s like we’re sitting at Aunt Bee’s kitchen table; I keep waiting for her to whip out the wooden spoon and fling it around as she talks this out with us. I help her out of her chair and hand her briefcase to her before she smiles and walks out the back door leaving Ava and I alone again.
“Save it, Declan. You’re not going to get me thinking all of those sexy thoughts about you again and distract me. I need to get out to Jax and Mr. Andrews before it gets any later.” Ava has her small hand held up like it’s going to physically stop me. She looks so fucking hot in her professional skirt and jacket; she’s been driving me crazy all day. I’ve seen her dressed like this a few times when she’s come to pick up Harper after work and it takes all my inner Superman powers to refrain from hauling her ass up the stairs to our bedroom and tying her to the bed, locking the door and not letting her out until she agrees to stay of her free will. Shit. I need to stop that thought right there in its tracks.
“Damn it, Declan, stop looking at me like that,” is what
she says, but I can tell by the tone of her voice and the heat in her eyes that that isn’t what she wants at all.
Instead of pressing her on it, I decide to let her sit with the thought for a while. She promised to ride home with me and I need to make sure I can make her keep that promise. I open the door and nod with my head, gesturing for her to walk through and I’m pretty certain I see a flicker of disappointment cross her face. Typically I avoid disappointing her at all costs, but this one was intentional and it worked, hopefully in my favor and not against me.
Ava walks directly to Jax and his dad and the three of them walk out towards the lobby. I decide to text her to remind her of her promise before she gets in their car and leaves my ass behind.
Declan- Remember your promise Sunshine. Meet you out front in a few
She doesn’t respond, but that’s okay, I’ve never known her to break a promise or go back on her word, so I trust that she’ll be out there when I get there. I walk over to my family, my family that insisted on being here even though I practically begged them not to. I didn’t want Ava to feel like she was at a disadvantage or anything because she doesn’t have the immediate family like I do, but my family is overbearing and God himself couldn’t have stopped them from being here today to “support” me.
Danielle and Deven Macabee are sisters and partners at the Macabee and Macabee law firm; Bailey set them up as my attorneys as soon as she became my publicist. I argued after I met them that it wasn’t going to fly since I was, at the time, trying to get Ava to see me seriously, but Bailey refused to budge, telling me they were the best and I quote, “you would be an idiot not to hire them.” So I hired them and they haven’t disappointed me yet. I reach the ladies just as my family surrounds us with hopeful looks on their faces, probably assuming I got what I wanted after seeing Ava walk straight out of here not looking too happy.
“Were you finally able to convince your girlfriend that we’re right and she’s wrong?” Danielle asks smugly.
I completely ignore her and turn to face my parents instead. “We have to come back and try again. She’s not understanding what I’m trying to do and I can’t make her see it in a room of old oak and Miss Sally.” I remove my jacket and hand it over to Macie, whose hopeful face drops in sadness and frustration. I roll my sleeves up to my elbows and scrub my weary face with my hands before grabbing my jacket back.
“Oh, honey,” my mom says in her loving tone as she rubs my back just like she has since I was a baby.
“No, we don’t come back and try again,” Danielle says firmly as she reads emails from her phone looking particularly irritated that we’re bothering her with this. “This is a waste of our time and your money. We take it to litigation and finish it in ten minutes.”
I take a deep breath, something I’ve been doing since I was probably four years old to try and control the fury brewing inside of me. “This is the final time I will say this, we are not going to litigation. You might as well remove that from word your vocabulary,” I say in a deadly calm voice, but I’m sure my whole demeanor is giving me away.
Danielle tucks her phone inside the purse dangling from her forearm and squares her shoulders. “Declan, you’re fighting an already won battle. You’re the child’s father and Ms. Sterling is not her mother…”
“Deven,” I say loudly and firmly, because Danielle has tested every last nerve remaining and I am about to lose any semblance of patience I’ve been holding on to.
Macie surprises me when she steps in front of me and slightly pushes on my chest with her small hands. I step back willingly, not because she’s applying enough force to budge me but because she probably has the right idea of gaining space between Danielle and I right now. “Dec, take a walk. I’ve got this.”
I have no idea what she has, but I know my sister and no matter what, we have always had each other’s backs so I trust that if she could, she would scratch Danielle’s eyes out for me right now, or bitch slap her at least. Greyden tugs on my arm and we walk towards the lobby with my dad following us. Macie and my mom stay behind with the inept attorney and her civil sister.
I can’t walk all the way to the lobby; I need to hear what Mace has to say, I need to make sure that she makes them understand our situation and what I’m trying to accomplish because apparently the damn lawyers didn’t get it when I explained it to them the first time. I thought they did get it; they’re the ones that suggested mediation, after all, I hadn’t ever even heard of it. Well, Deven suggested it, I guess. I stop within hearing distance and glance over at the women. My body is on fire, I need to hit something and even air will work at this point. Just going through the motions would release this pent up aggression but that would be inappropriate in a court house so I focus on my damn breathing.
“You don’t have kids, do you?” I hear Macie ask in the polite socialite voice she was raised with.
“Obviously not. I’m a successful attorney with my own firm at an unheard of young age, I don’t have time for children of my own,” Danielle replies with complete disgust towards my sister and it only fuels my fire.
“Well, Ms. Macabee, congratulations on that, but I am assuming that you didn’t get to where you are by being a complete and utter insensitive bitch towards your clients’ cases.” Macie doesn’t make a fuss over anything, never has. She has always been the easygoing child, the well-behaved and well-mannered daughter of Mr. and Mrs. James, and she sure as hell doesn’t cuss.
My eyebrows rise to my hairline like some cartoon character as I wait for my mom to reprimand her, but she doesn’t. Instead, my mom takes a firmer stance alongside Mace, creating a united front, and I’m shocked. So is Greyden; his head snaps over to me in disbelief and amusement. My dad quietly chuckles from behind us. Danielle looks taken back by her words but doesn’t say anything in response.
“Ms. Sterling is ‘the child’s’ mother,” Macie repeats Danielle’s term for Harper while air quoting her, “and it’ll do you wonders to remember that. It’ll also keep my brother, who is quickly becoming quite famous, which I’m sure you are aware of or you wouldn’t be ‘wasting’ your time here, as your client if you remember that Ms. Sterling is the love of his life and he is not fighting against her but for her, you arrogant, spiteful woman. I highly suggest you hand this case over to your civilized, completely competent partner while you still have Declan as a client and walk your devious ass out of here. Right now.” Macie emphasizes that last tidbit with a huff of air before she and my mother turn on their high heels and walk over to where us guys are standing in astonishment.
My mother has an angelic air about her at all times. Even when she was yelling at us as kids, she always presented herself as a precious stone not to be tampered with. The mother standing before me? Not recognizable. I’ve always described her as an angry elf when she gets mad, but she is so far beyond mad that as Danielle breezes past us with her head held too high, I swear I hear my sweet, never-does-anything-wrong Mom cuss her out like a sailor. My mouth is still hanging open and I can’t respond before Grey and Macie bust out laughing. They make it sound like we’re on a playground, not in a court house where I’m fighting for my family, but I can’t really blame them now, can I? The good Catholic Angry Elf just cussed out my now fired attorney—I’ll admit this is probably the funniest shit I’ve come across since Ava left.
“Mr. James,” I hear from behind me in a quiet timid voice. Deven was always the quiet one of the two, the paper pusher. All of my communication with the firm has been by phone or email from Danielle or her assistant. I have only ever seen Deven when I went into their offices, but she was always the one to make the calls, her sister just voiced them and then took credit for it.
I pull myself together to address her because I am sure this has to be all kinds of awkward for her. I turn to face her and see her nervous energy written all over her face. “Hey, Deven, I apologize for the unprofessionalism of how that just went down. I assume you just learned that nobody messes with my family, even
if outsiders don’t consider certain members to be legit.”
“Duly noted,” she says with half a smile and I admire her courage and obvious sense of humor even though I’m not being funny. “No need to apologize, sir, Danielle was way out of line and I apologize for her. It is, of course, my pleasure to assist you in any way I can to obtain the custody you desire for little Harper, that is if you agree with your sister’s wishes and will allow me to remain as your attorney.” Deven releases a breath as if she’s not sure she should even be hoping for a shot at keeping me as her client.
“I’d like that, Deven, but Danielle’s termination stands as is. I won’t be working with her again.” My bad mood is back and I can tell that Deven senses it because she straightens herself a little and avoids eye contact with me until she’s prepared to reply.
“Danielle and I don’t typically co-chair on cases. That was on special request, so I promise you won’t notice any lack of support in your case.”
I nod my head in agreement and can see my mom begin to relax a little as she leans into my dad. I’m sure she’s spent from all of the emotions she’s experienced today.
“Before Danielle… well, earlier I had an idea,” Deven begins. “I was thinking that if I set up a meeting with Ms. Sterling and Mr. Andrews, I could show her the pros and cons of each of you getting what you’re requesting on paper. Obviously she has pros on her side, but her cons far outweigh them. Hopefully if I show her all the possible outcomes of her requests, and yours as well, she’ll be able to better understand what you’re trying to achieve and why.” This time she makes eye contact with each of us and I can tell this is her element, this is what she does and she’s damn good at it.