Catch
Page 24
“That was for Max. For walking out on her when she needed you.” She slaps me again. “And that was for you walking out on her without giving her an explanation.” The mom tone was in full force. And although I was happy that she was slapping me around for Max—because lord knows I deserve far worse—I couldn’t help but notice that was the first thing she addressed.
“So everything else I told you?”
She reaches over and takes my hand. “Sage, if these men were half as bad as you say then it was probably for the best. You are my son, and no matter what you do, or have done, I will always love you. I don’t like the fact that you’ve been lying to me, but I do understand why. What really concerns me is that you say they took a piece of you with them, and I just don’t think that it’s okay that you allowed them to do that. You’re an amazing man, just like your father was. You need to realize that, and take back what belongs to you. Those horrible dead men don’t deserve any part of you, Sage Carmichael. And it kills me to know that you feel this way.” Tears are shinning in her eyes, which in return makes the tears gather in mine.
She stands up and comes around the table to stand behind me. Wrapping her little arms around my broad shoulders she leans in and puts her chin on my shoulder. “Please promise me that you will work on getting all of you back into one package. You can stay here with me. I know how much this place means to you.”
I turn my head and kiss her cheek. “I promise.”
I stay in the house while I’m here in Lookout. I went into the guest house above the barn once and I was slapped in the face with the memories and the soft scent of lavender. So, the little room in the house that gave me little privacy is where I slept for the past week.
I work my ass off cleaning out the barn, fixing parts of the fence mom had concerns with, and repairing things around the house. All the work kept my mind busy and was very therapeutic. Max only entered my mind when I crashed into sleep. My first night here mom gave me her prescription sleep aids to help. “Helping” was an understatement. I woke up the next morning not being able to remember how I put my pajama pants on, or how I got into bed.
Mom wants me to work on getting back what those assignments took from me, but I don’t have the slightest clue where to start. I think maybe a shrink can help, but how do you walk into their office and tell them you are a retired assassin? I guess I could talk to Snitch and see if there’s any help the government would be willing to offer, but I scratch that one off real quick. I’m done with them. I don’t want anything to do with Timer or the government.
I’ve been hiding out in Lookout for over a week and I’m cleaning out Kalila’s stall. She’s gotten bigger and more beautiful. She’s also surprisingly gentle for her age. While I’m giving her a good brushing I hear my mom clear her throat. I turn and smile at her. She’s wearing jeans, boots, and a red shirt that has pearl snaps up the front.
She walks over, crosses her arms over her chest, and leans into the wall. “Do you know where I got her name?” I shake my head. I never really knew where she got any of her horse’s names. “Max named her.” I stop brushing and turn to face her. “I insisted.”
“Why did you do that?” Mom never let anyone name her new horses, unless that horse belonged to that person. Growing up both my sister and I had our own horses that we were allowed to name.
“You don’t give me enough credit. I know that the two of you were lying, and now I know why. But I could see the way you two were stealing glances at each other. The invisible energy the two of you shared.” She walks over and takes the brush from my hand and starts working on Kalia’s mane. “I let her name the horse because deep down I feel like she is already a part of this family. I know that’s crazy because I had just met her, but she made you different. You seemed better when she was here with you.”
I shake my head. “Mom, I don’t think I can…” She drops the brush in a bucket and walks over to me.
“Have you ever thought that maybe Max is the answer?” I furrow my brow not sure where she’s going with this. “That maybe she is the one that helps you feel the peace you need to get through life. Sage, she may be the way back when it comes to finding what’s missing in here.” She places her hand over my chest right above my heart. I look down at it for a few breaths before picking it up and kissing her palm.
“I’m going get cleaned up,” I choke out before hurrying away from the barn.
I take the hottest shower I can stand while I try to let the words my mom said sink in. Every time I think about Max my chest constricts and my lungs squeeze making it harder to breath. But I force myself through. I force myself to remember the time we spent together, focusing on the way her presence made me feel.
I get out of the shower and wrap the towel around my waist. I look in the mirror at myself. Dark circles are under my eyes, and I look older than I remember. “Max, made you feel alive again you stupid fucker.”
Those words mixed with my mom’s snaps something in my head and my heart. I know what I need to do. I fling the door open and hurry across the hall. I throw on the first jeans and T-shirt I can find, throw all of my stuff into my bag, and pull my boots on.
I hurry down the stairs and find my mom in the kitchen. She tilts her head at me for a moment and then smiles realizing what I’m going to do. I walk over to her and kiss her cheek.
“Thank you. I love you, and I’ll call you when I know something. Wish me luck, because my sorry ass really needs it right now. I’ll be a lucky bastard if she doesn’t shoot me.” She pats my cheek, wishes me good luck, and then I’m out the door.
When I get onto the interstate I call Snitch. He answers on the third ring.
“Catch, what’s up? I hear that Timer cut you loose. I also hear that he’s more than pleased with the way that little shit stain turned out.” I can hear him typing away on his computer.
“I’m done with all that now. But I didn’t call to talk about it. I’m heading for Max and I need her address. I also need a favor,” I say.
There are a few moments of silence and for a second I wonder if he’s going to help me or not. “It’s about fucking time. She’s a good girl, Catch. I’ll do whatever you need.”
26
Max
“June, we had plans. I can’t believe you’re going to ditch me for Snitch.” She’s sitting on her bedroom floor in front of her full length mirror putting on her makeup. We were supposed to hang at Jack’s tonight but Snitch called to let June know he was in town. “What’s he doing here anyway?”
She shrugs. “Not sure, and I really don’t care. I’m just happy he’s here.” She applies a coat of deep red lipstick and looks at me through the mirror. “Why are you giving me such a hard time anyway?”
The disappointed look on her face softens me a bit, and I kind of feel bad for being bitchy. “The first time I met Snitch there was this slutty, half-dressed blond straddling his lap with her tongue down his throat. I just don’t want you to get in too deep with him, and the most you ever become is some booty call while he’s in DC.”
She starts putting her makeup back in the bag. “You’re a good friend, Max. And I know I’ve been kind of weird since I started talking to Snitch but…”
I put my hand up to stop her. “I know you’re a big girl. I’ve felt like shit since Catch left, and I don’t want it happening to you.”
June stands up and walks over to me to take my hands in hers. “I’ve had my heart broken before. I can’t let that stop me from pursuing other men all because of one asshat. Snitch is my chance to take, okay? It’s okay to take chances even if the outcome might be shitty.” I hear what she’s saying and I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes. “If it doesn’t work out in the end I know I can count on you to pick me up off the floor of Jack’s at closing time.” That gets a laugh out of me. Her special Snitch phone chimes. She smiles. “He’s downstairs.”
“Go have fun. I’ll be sure to put my earplugs in before I go to sleep.” I smile.
Sh
e kisses my cheek. “Things are going to get better for you soon. I can feel it. I love you, Max.”
I have leftover takeout for dinner, and then take a long bath. I go in my room and pull on a clean pair of panties and slide Sage’s shirt over my head. As I’m pulling the covers down on my bed I hear the spot on the wood floor near the front door creak. My body tenses for a second and then I pull my gun from the night stand.
My heart starts pounding as I peek out of my bedroom and down the hallway. I always leave the light above the stove on for June when she’s going to be back late. So, my lungs seize up when I see a shadow move through the soft glow. Someone is without a doubt in my apartment.
I stand there on nearly shaking legs to see if they are going to come down the hall. I have no plans on make my presence known just yet. A few seconds tick by and I see a tall broad figure fill the entrance to the hallway. I quietly remove the safety on the gun and step out into the hall.
“If you move one inch I will put a bullet in your chest,” I warn. It’s too dark so the figure looks like nothing more than a dark shadow. I’m ready to advance on the intruder when he speaks and stops me in my tracks.
“Blaze,” his voice carries through the dark and hits me in the gut so hard that I actually drop to my knees. He takes a step closer and I raise the gun again.
“Don’t you fucking come one step closer,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
He puts his hands up. “Max, I’m just here to talk to you. I have a lot of apologizing to do. If you shoot me right now I wouldn’t for one second blame you. I feel like I deserve much worse.”
Hot tears roll down my cheeks and I know the last thing I would ever do to him is shoot him. So, I lower the gun, get to me feet, and do the next best thing. I walk up to him and nail him in the jaw with a tight left hook. He stumbles back a few steps as he rubs his jaw. I shake my hand trying to chase the pain away, but it only causes one of my knuckles to sting more and I gasp in pain.
He reaches for me, but I pull away. “Please let me look at it.” Through the dark I can see the worry in his eyes, so I reluctantly hold my hand out to him. The first feel of his calloused fingers brushing against the soft skin of my hand causes me to flinch. It’s so familiar that it brings me back to the first time he offered his hand to me.
He leads me back into the kitchen and starts flipping switches until the one over our head comes on. I look down to see a small split over a few of my swollen knuckles. Sage turns to the freezer and starts digging around. While he does that I hoist myself up onto the counter.
“Why are you here, Sage? And do tell how you got into my apartment without breaking the door down.” I whisper as I pull a paper towel off the roll. I run it under the water and ring it out before placing it on my bleeding knuckles.
He turns around and closes the freezer, leaning his back against it he pushes a hand through his messy hair. He’s wearing a deep red V-neck shirt that hugs his broad shoulders and biceps, ripped denim jeans that hang low on his waist, and black boots. Sage is a beautiful dream and I hate the fact that I can’t stop staring at him.
Reaching across the small kitchen he hands me a pack of frozen peas. “I got a key from June. I met up with her and Snitch about an hour ago. That’s why Snitch is in the city. I called in a favor.”
My eyes snap up to meet his. Now I know what June’s speech was about. “The president of the club turns on me. What a fucking traitor.”
Sage ignores that comment and answers my other question. “I’m here because I love you, Max.” His eyes never leave mine.
“Wow, you get right to the point.” I chuckle as I look down and place the peas on my hand. “You know maybe if you loved me enough you wouldn’t have left me in that hospital to wake up alone. Maybe you would have called me instead of going completely silent.” Now I’m yelling. “How dare you just leave me to deal with all this shit in here?” I flatten my hand over my chest. Even with him standing right in front of me I can still feel the dull ache that took up housing inside of me the day I woke up and he was gone.
He takes a deep breath. It’s ragged and filled with pain making me want to throw myself off the counter and into his arms. I want to wrap my body around him and not let go for days, but I can’t. I’m hurt and he needs to do more explaining.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. But I realize now that it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.” He reaches out to me and when I make no attempt to allow him to touch me he drops his hand and clenches his fist.
“Where have you been these past three months? Snitch wouldn’t tell me.”
Sage crosses his arms over his chest and tells me the story about the new assassin and the training he had to do. He explains why he had to do it, and why it wasn’t something he could discuss with me at the time.
“But I’m done, Max. Timer is pleased with his new assassin. He won’t be bothering you anymore.”
I lean back on the counter resting my weight against my hands. “And after Timer let you go, where did you end up?” I couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t come here immediately.
“I went to Lookout. Max, there are some things that I needed to work out with myself. All those men I killed…”
“If this has to do with you forgiving yourself that’s no excuse for you not to at least call me,” I croak. My resolve is starting to fade and the already fragile wall I put up is starting to crack. “You should have let me be there for you.”
The fissures in my wall don’t go unnoticed and he quickly closes the gap between us. He settles his hips between my thighs and takes my face in his hands. I focus my eyes on the cabinet handle over his shoulder. Because I know that if I look in his eyes while he says what he is about to say I’ll lose it.
“Max, look at me. I need you to look at me when I say this.” His hands tighten on my face as he angles it in a way where I have no choice but to look into his gray eyes. “I made a huge mistake, and it took being slapped numerous times by Gracie Carmichael to knock some sense into me.” I almost crack a smile. I totally love that woman. “I’ve always felt like when I took those men’s lives that they took a piece of me with them. I have always suffered with that guilt, but what I learned while I was away from you is that you make that guilt go away. I love you, Max, and you came into my life when I was lost and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life. How I was going to deal with having to live out the rest of my life without being consumed by the guilt? You became my light. You make me want to be the man I was before I became an assassin. And you can be mad at me for as long as you want, but if you think I’m just going to walk away from you now you are bat-shit crazy.”
The wall crumbles and completely disappears. I reach up and grab his wrist digging my nails into his skin. Worry stretches across his face and I realize that he is taking my reaction the wrong way. I just simply needed to hang on to him because the wave of emotions that just hit me has rocked me to my core.
Since I’m at a loss for words I decide to erase his worry with actions. I lock my legs around his waist and grab two fistfuls of his hair. Forcing his head back so I have better access to his mouth, I press my lips hard against his.
His mouth is warm, soft, and everything I remember. As his mouth moves against mine the ache in my chest turns into butterflies, and suddenly he isn’t close enough. I release his hair, wrap my arms around his neck and arch my body into his. The kiss deepens and becomes hard and frantic, licking and biting. Like we are both trying to make up for the time we were apart. But before it can go any farther he pulls away. I make this pathetic little noise in the back of my throat and reach for him, but he dodges me.
He moves back slightly and looks at me. “I’m sorry, Max. And for the rest of my life I promise to make it up to you.” He pulls on the hem of the black T-shirt raising it just enough to expose my stomach. I follow his eyes to see that he’s looking at the light pink scar on my abdomen. He leans in and feathers kisses down the length of it, ignitin
g a tight heat between my legs. I throw my head back and moan. God I missed him. “And this.” I can feel his breath caressing the scar, his fingers digging into my hips. “I will never let this happen again.”
I pull his head up and he places his hands on the counter on either side of my hips. “Not your fault. I will never blame you for what happened with James. That was his fault. So, get that out of your head right now.” I run the palm of my hand over his cheek and he turns his face into my hand. “I love you, Sage. And I will never stop loving you, because you taught me how to love. You have made me feel things I never thought I was capable of feeling. Now if we don’t have makeup sex soon I just might flood through these little panties and ruin this kitchen counter.”
An evil grin plays across his lips as he pulls me off the counter and fills his two large hands with my ass cheeks. “Dammit I missed you,” he growls.
I lean in and suck his bottom lip into my mouth, and grind my wet core into his erection. “Well, then prove it to me, Sage Carmichael.”
Epilogue
Eight months later
Catch
“What should I pack?” Max is standing in our closet flipping through her rack of clothes. I lean against the frame of the door and laugh. She scowls at me. “I’m serious. I’ve never done this whole family thing before and I don’t know what I’m supposed to wear.”
Max moved in with me a month ago in my DC warehouse. I had all the damage fixed and we went furniture shopping together to replace what was destroyed in the bedroom. I would have had her move in with me the very next day after that night I went back to her, but she refused until June could move back into one of the newly renovated single bedroom apartments.
Max still has the job she started while I was gone, and once I was officially unemployed I took a job at Jack’s. On weekends when there’s going to be a large crowd he has me come in to help clear out any trouble that might arise. It hardly pays anything, but I like helping the old man out, and I’m not at all suffering for money.