Honor on the Cape

by M. K. Meredith

  “Blayne.”

  “Jamie, I’m going back to—

  “MacCaffrey! Are you comin’ or what?” Lilly yelled from the double doors.

  Jamie winced. “Gentle bunch.”

  Skating backwards, she was thankful for the interruption. With a weak laugh, she said, “Roller derby is not for the faint of heart.”

  A fact she had to keep telling herself. There was no room for softness on the track or with Jamie Astor.

  One wrong slip would result in a broken and bloody mess.

  “Margaritas? Larkin can’t drink, she’s pregnant.” Claire chastised Blayne but barely glanced Larkin’s way.

  Blayne took a healthy sip of her own, determined to enjoy Saturday night with her friends and put Jamie and his sexy lips and sweet gestures out of her head and heart. With one week of May firmly behind them, her time to return home was only a little over three weeks away.

  Larkin’s pregnancy wasn’t easy for Claire, and none of them expected it to be, but the longing on her face every time she looked at their friend’s growing belly made Blayne want to cry.

  And she didn’t cry.

  At least not usually. It seemed since Jamie had returned to town she’d already filled her tear quota for a lifetime.

  “Cinco de Mayo only comes around once a year, and we’re going to celebrate.” She hung a few beaded necklaces over Claire’s head before her friend could bat them away. “Besides, the blue pitcher is virgin…which I’d like to point out is hilarious, because Larkin has clearly had a lot of sex.”

  Larkin rolled her eyes and took a sip. “Neither of you can talk, so—”

  Claire cleared her throat then downed half her glass. With a wince, she grabbed her head. “Shit! Brain freeze.”

  Larkin leapt up from her spot on the couch as quickly as her belly would let her, then wrapped her arms around her grimacing friend. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  Claire nudged her away. “I’m fine.”

  Larkin kept patting her awkwardly on the arm. “I know, but I’m usually more sensitive. My brain lately.”

  Claire smiled. “Stop. I’m fine.”

  Blayne set out chips and salsa and a pink pitcher filled to the brim with full-octane margaritas. “What am I missing?”

  “Nothing.” Claire sunk to the midcentury, cobalt sofa.

  “Since when are we lying to each other?” Blayne cocked her head in an I’m-not-playing angle and waited.

  Claire threw daggers at Larkin. “Thanks a lot.”

  “I’m sorry.” With a sigh, Larkin continued. “John was the only man Claire had ever been with.”

  Blayne shot a look of surprise at her friend. She was considered part of the North Cove Mavens when based on geography she should be a South Cove Madam. Claire’s fiancé had been the man driving the other car in the horrific accident that claimed the lives of Larkin’s husband and son. Claire had miscarried soon after the accident, and it took a while before she could handle seeing Larkin.

  But Larkin had a way about her, and Blayne had refused to put up with any meanness—a combination Claire couldn’t resist in the end.

  Now Claire had been smacked back into mourning with Larkin’s pregnancy—though she tried to hide it behind a too-bright smile.

  Blayne sighed. “What the hell am I going to do with the two of you?”

  She grabbed the chips and salsa and carried them over to the vintage round coffee table. The black table was a striking companion to the blue couch and white flooring and window treatments. She loved how it felt to be in her home. Almost as good as it would feel once she stepped on Irish soil once again. “So, how long has it been?”

  Claire took a healthy sip of her drink.

  Larkin settled into one of the matching velvet chairs flanking the sofa and tucked her feet under her. “Has it really been that long?”

  “You hadn’t had sex until Ryker,” Claire tossed out in an accusatory tone.

  “She’s got a point,” Blayne quipped.

  Larkin’s chest blushed bright red. “But, whoa, was he worth the wait.”

  Blayne pretended to gag on her finger. “Spare us your syrupy happily married crap.” She teased her friend, but they all were so thrilled for her. Larkin and Ryker were made for each other. They healed past hurts in a way no one else would have been able to do. She may not think she’d ever be as lucky, but she certainly wanted all the happy ever afters for her girlfriends.

  Besides, if Larkin was going to take the plunge again, Ryker was a delicious man to do it with. The whole tall, dark, and grumpy thing worked for the guy in a way that left women salivating.

  “Claire, it’s time to get you back on the horse, so to speak, and snog a bloke…or five.”

  Tucking her blond strands behind her ears, Claire spoke through a mouth full of chips. “Because your hunt at the South Cove Ice Festival was so successful?”

  “I still can’t believe you were going to randomly pick someone to take home.” Larkin carried a chip loaded with a healthy chunk of salsa to her lips.

  “Not randomly, I was making a choice. Taking action.” She defended. “Unfortunately, three blondes stood between me and the doctor’s son, and I wasn’t about to damage Eclectic Find’s reputation for any man. Jade Dawson is rising fast in her design business, and I plan on keeping her and her sisters as customers.”

  “Speaking of action…” Larkin let her words sink in. “I heard through Maxine, who heard through Janice, who heard from Lilly’s mother, Rose, that a sexy and let me reiterate—sexy—man stopped by to see you at the track yesterday.”

  Blayne emptied her glass then poured another. “Stupid man, you mean. Who in their right mind shows up at a roller derby track? A man like him strutting around the Roller Beauties is like a rabbit in a fox den.”

  “So, you’re still attracted,” Claire said.

  It was a statement, not a question, and panic and denial raced up Blayne’s throat. “What? No.” She waved in front of a hiccup. “I mean…of course, he’s good-looking. No one is going to argue that, but I am not going there. Ever. No matter how sweet his actions might be sometimes.”

  She hadn’t told Larkin about his Archer’s Angels plan. It was his brainchild, so it was important that he be able to share it himself.

  Larkin offered. “He’s grown up. Maybe on the inside and out.”

  Blayne jerked her chin to the side, her heart arguing with her head at every turn. “It doesn’t matter. My da warned me there was no honor in my actions or Jamie’s when we left Ireland. Jamie only proved that to be even more true when he chose his career and family business over me. That isn’t a mistake I’ll make again.”

  “What mistake did you make exactly? Loving an eighteen-year-old? I hope you don’t make that mistake again,” Claire scoffed.

  “Gross!” Blayne threw a pillow at her.

  “So, what? You’ll just stay single forever?” Larkin popped another chip in her mouth.

  Blayne raised her glass in a toast to her best friends. “It’s working for Claire and me. Maybe it’s not in the cards for us like it was for you.”

  Claire raised a glass. “Hear, hear.”

  “You two are dumb.” Larkin sighed. “This conversation is proof that celibacy isn’t working for either of you.”

  Claire smirked with a raised brow at Blayne. “I can take care of myself for the time being.”

  Blayne raised her glass in a toast. “That’s our girl!”

  “But you don’t have to. Since a relationship with Jamie is off the table, I think sex with him should be on one. A big one. A big table for big sex. I’m talking an all-nighter, better yet, a 24-hour free-for-all.”

  Heat rushed through Blayne’s chest with the thought as she laughed. She snatched Claire’s drink from her. “That’s it, you’re officially cut off.”

  She saluted. “I don’t care as long as you go find Jamie and get off!”

  The vision of Jamie’s naked torso clouded her vision as she tried to
process Claire’s words amidst the echoes of laughter. Her pulse sped, her lungs constricted, and her fingers flexed under the onslaught of sexy horizontal memories. She’d have to be drunk or crazy to consider it.

  So she tossed back the rest of her drink.

  Chapter 7

  At the insistent chiming of the lighthouse bell a few days later, Jay opened the door to find berry-colored lips pressed into a resigned thin line.

  “This is a surprise.”

  So surprising, adrenalin still pumped through him. The sight of her was both a salve to his soul and punch to the gut. She had her hair piled on top of her head, and his fingers itched to remove the pins, to see those thick, shiny locks fall to her shoulders.

  She’d slap him, no doubt about it.

  But ever since feeling her weight against him in nothing but her skimpy underwear—the look in her eyes, the hitch in her breath—he hadn’t been able to think of anything else. There was something about her that made him feel like he was unraveling, but she was the only thing that could keep him together at the same time.

  Made no God damn sense.

  “I’m not here for you.” She cut right to the point.

  He dipped his chin. For every moment she softened toward him, another only showed that her resolve to keep her distance had strengthened. He didn’t blame her, but he wanted to.

  He’d just have to work harder.

  Opening door farther, he stepped away. “Come on in.”

  “Nope.”

  He hesitated, drinking in the sight of her.

  She had on her overalls again, which only filled his head with ideas that would get him killed. Instead of her signature wedges or heels, her feet were covered in a pair of bright yellow Converse sneakers.

  “No?” He rubbed his chest in confusion, delighted when her eyes followed the action and went dark with her dilating pupils.

  She shook her head. “I made that mistake already. We don’t seem to do well in confined places together.”

  The memory of her straddling his body jerked his dick to attention. “Actually, Bean, I’d say we do very well in confined places.” His voice dropped an octave with the memory.

  “Too well.” She lifted one side of her lip in an Elvis scowl and dismissed the direction he’d hoped to take the conversation.

  But he had to try. Anything to see that heat in her eyes or the unconscious way she darted out the pink tip of her tongue and licked her lips.

  Fuck.

  “We need to go over our options for directors, so we can vet out those we want on the board,” she said.

  “But we can’t do this inside?”

  “Nope.”

  It made sense, and nothing made him happier than the fact she didn’t trust herself with him. His dick agreed.

  If she worried, then she still cared.

  And if she cared…then maybe there was still a chance for them.

  “Fine. Let me grab my sneakers.”

  He felt her eyes on him as he shoved his feet into his Nikes, wishing he knew what was going on in that head of hers. It would take time, but he’d find out. Maybe he’d even break some ground today. They needed to develop a friendship once again if he had any hope of something more. And God damn, he wanted more.

  It had always boggled his mother’s mind that he insisted on taking on the hardest challenges, but he’d learned long ago, they paid off the greatest reward.

  And nothing was greater than Blayne MacCaffrey.

  He joined her and closed the door behind him. “Don’t we need to take notes, make our list, and brainstorm?”

  “I know this town. As soon as I get home, I’ll get everything we discussed down on paper and you can approve it. We can set up a meeting next week to get a feel for who’s interested.”

  “Did you just give me permission to approve something, and I didn’t have to win a game or bet first? I’d say this is progress,” he teased, grabbing her hand.

  She resisted at first but soon fell into step.

  “There’s a tree Ryker and I loved to climb when we were kids. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  They made their way past the fountain in the circle drive and the memorial going up next to the newly built well where Archer’s old well used to be. Her gaze lingered. Her frown made him want to wrap her in his arms and promise that bad things wouldn’t happen.

  “We’re climbing trees now, are we?” She tugged her hand away.

  He released it, not wanting to push her limits, but the loss was immediate, and he flexed his fingers against empty air.

  Leading her down the path toward the woods, he laughed. “Please, I can’t think of anything you wouldn’t climb. From what I hear, that includes the corporate ladder.”

  “For a bit. But it didn’t suit.”

  They broke into the ethereal world of the cape woods, all the noise of reality muffled into a soft hum of life and potential. “I’ve always loved it here. There’s something so special about this property. It’s like we’ve stepped into another world. Reminds me of home.”

  The mention of Ireland was like tightening a noose around his neck. “When was the last time you were home?”

  He slowed. “Please tell me you’ve gone home.”

  She ignored him as they passed a small bench and hummingbird feeders near an active apiary. A little grin spread her red lips wide. He could stare at that smile for the rest of his life and never get bored.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Larkin. She’s afraid of bees.”

  “But Ryker’s a beekeeper.” He watched the hum and activity of the box. Ryker’s grandfather used to take Ryker with him as a boy. Jay was glad to see his friend reconnecting with his good memories from the Cape. Lord knows the bad ones were too awful to think about. “Has he convinced her to give it a try yet?”

  She rose a brow. “Larkin? No way. In fact, she almost killed them both running from a few irritated bees up in the lighthouse lamp room when they’d first met.”

  He shook his head. “Those stairs are no joke.” They came upon a big oak that was wider than it was tall.

  Walking to the base, he patted the trunk then tilted his head to stare up the length toward the top. “Here she is. I’ve missed you, Daisy.”

  “You named a tree Daisy?”

  He shrugged. “Ryker and I always thought she looked like a flower because she seemed to bloom so wide instead of being tall. You haven’t answered my question.”

  The limbs of the tree started at about chest height. Jay grabbed on to one, then swung his legs up to another and leveraged to a sitting position. As expected, she followed suit on a thick branch next to him. Seeing her straddle the thing made him jealous as hell.

  “I couldn’t.”

  “But I never dreamed you’d stay here all by yourself,” he said.

  “I never dreamed you’d leave.” She returned, using the branches above her to stand, then climbing two limbs above him.

  He followed, hoping the weight of his guilt wouldn’t yank him to the ground.

  With his arm looped around a branch, he held her gaze. “Blayne, I was a selfish, eighteen-year-old bastard.”

  “Why did you ask me to come with you?” Her softly spoken question shredded his soul.

  It was time to splay it wide open. “I fell head over heels in love with a Bean Laoch, my warrior.”

  She rolled her eyes. “If you’re not going to give me an answer—”

  “But I am. I loved you, never stopped.”

  Turning away from him, she closed her eyes.

  He wanted to wrap her in his arms, to take it all back. Desperation and determination warred with how to show her he’d changed. Grown up.

  “No excuse I have is going to make it okay. I was selfish, driven. Too often given everything I’d wanted but desperate to prove I’d earned every bit of it. I thought I couldn’t say no.”

  “So, you left.”

  Rubbing a hand over his face, he nodded. “By the next morning, I’d figure
d out I’d made the biggest mistake of my life, but I knew I’d have to prove my worth to you before showing up at your door.”

  She snapped her head around. “What?! You were going to come home?”

  “I had the return tickets bought, but I kept playing our last conversation over in my head. You said if I left to never return.”

  Incredulous, her mouth dropped. “So, it’s my fault?!”

  His error caught too late. “No. Never. None of it was you. That’s not what I meant.”

  She moved to climb down, but he grabbed her arm. “Don’t touch me.” She ground out, her eyes shiny with tears.

  Fuck.

  “Just wait a second.” He kept her by his side. “I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck, Blayne. I ditched you, for Christ’s sake. There was no way I could show my face to you again until I proved myself. Until—”

  “Stop.” She trembled. “Stop with all the proving shit, Jamie. I never asked you to prove anything to me. I loved you.” The words ripped from her throat, and she stopped to swallow.

  “I loved you for you. I didn’t care that you were an Astor or where we lived or if you were given everything you had. I loved how hard we played, how hard we worked…how hard we loved. You broke me.” Her breath caught, and he reached for her.

  “No.” She stiffened. “Give me some space.”

  The pain in his chest was suffocating, but he’d deal with it tenfold if he could take away the pain he’d caused her.

  Yet there was so much more, so many reasons he’d thought staying away was the answer.

  Jay had loved his childhood, the events and travel and opportunities. He loved and respected both of his parents. They were an adoring, close-knit family. Always there for each other even when they were apart. “Family first” was the motto drilled into him since he could talk.

  But his mom had always been left behind while his father had pursued success. When his father was home, he’d take his mother on a trip as if it were the solution to all her loneliness—a passport payoff of sorts. At least that’s how it had seemed.

  How could he ever get her to understand that he’d refused to make her live the solitary life hoisted onto his mother’s shoulders?