Alpha House: A Shapeshifter/BBW Novel: The Complete Seven-Part Collection

by Lib Starling

  Chase gave a little laugh. “They’re good friends. I’m glad they’re looking out for you.”

  “I am, too, even if they go a little overboard sometimes.” She smiled, and it cut into Chase’s soul like a white-hot dagger.

  Some flicker of that agony must have passed across his face. “Are you all right?” Roxy said.

  “Yeah, of course. I’m fine.” I’m not fine. I can’t live without you. He glanced around. The square was still empty. “Do you want to sit down?”

  They picked a bench near one of the arches and sat, a conspicuous space between them. An awkward silence hung in the air for a long moment—then they broke it at the same time.

  “I wanted to apol—” Chase began, and Roxy said over him, “I’m sorry I—”

  They both laughed uncomfortably and looked away, staring out into the darkness.

  “You go first,” Roxy said.

  Chase took a long, deep breath. The air was a cold fire in his lungs, and the feel of it braced him. “I’m sorry for what I did…with Scarlett. She put some kind of spell on me, and I wasn’t thinking straight, but as far as I’m concerned, nothing is a good excuse for hurting you. I’d take everything back if I could, Roxy. I’d do it in a heartbeat. I just…I want you to know that.”

  “I know.” She smiled at him tentatively. “Scarlett’s done a lot of bad things to a lot of people. I should have realized her magic was behind it.”

  “I didn’t even realize. None of us did. She was good with her spells, I’ll give her that.”

  “She is good,” Roxy corrected. “You of all people know that she’s still out there, trying to mess with us. Why, Chase? What does she want?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve been asking myself the same question. I think…” He watched her soberly for a moment, then admitted, “I think she wants you.”

  “Me? What do you mean?” Roxy sat up straighter, and Chase could well imagine the icy fingers that were clutching at her heart.

  “It’s envy that’s driving her—envy of everything you are, Roxy. A female shifter, desired by so many desirable men. But you’re more than that, too. You’re beautiful, and smart, and funny, and amazing, and…a thousand other things I could go on listing until the sun comes up.”

  Even in the darkness, Chase could see her cheeks flame red.

  “Scarlett doesn’t have anything to offer, compared to you—just her body, and you’re plenty hot enough to match her in that category, too. Her jealousy is driving her to do crazy things. I don’t know what she’s capable of at this point, or what she might be planning next.”

  “I don’t know, either. I’ve tried to imagine what she might pull off next…and I’ve tried not to imagine it, when it keeps me awake at night. But I’m glad we’re all united in stopping her, now. I just hope we can really do it—I hope she’s not too smart for us.”

  Unexpectedly, Roxy reached across the space that separated them and took Chase’s hand. The warmth and softness of her skin nearly ripped a gasp from his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, reveling in the feel of her touch. He thought he’d missed it for all these months, but he didn’t even know what missing meant until now.

  “Are you okay?” she asked gently. “I mean…the forced shift, and being…trapped. It’s so awful, what’s happened to you.”

  “I’m all right,” he assured her. His voice was hoarse from the feel of her skin.

  “I think for me, the worst part is that I didn’t even know what had happened to you. I’m still trying to process it. Scarlett did this to you a week ago, and all that time I was just going about my life, not knowing what you were dealing with.” She sniffed. Chase glanced at her in surprise, and saw one tear slide from the corner of her eye.

  “Hey. It’s okay. I’m all right, Roxy.”

  “Thanks to Katrina,” she said quietly.

  “Yes. It was incredibly lucky that I met up with her when I did. If she hadn’t come back into my life, I’d be trapped inside my wolf right now. I’d probably never re-emerge.”

  “I guess you owe her a lot.” Roxy’s hand withdrew, and Chase had to resist the urge to grab it back, to hold on and never let go. “Seems like you have a real history with Katrina.”

  “I do. I guess you’ve figured out by now that we used to date.”

  “She told me. I’ll give her that—she’s really up-front with everything.”

  “Not quite everything. I didn’t know she was a witch until very recently. I had no idea about it, back when we were dating. Neither did Alexander.”

  Roxy’s sudden stillness filled Chase with rising anxiety. “Alexander?” she said, too casually, and then cleared her throat.

  “Yeah. Katrina ditched me to date Alexander instead. I’m sure Alexander wasn’t entirely innocent in the process. He’s never been shy about moving in on women any of the brothers are dating, if he finds them attractive. I guess that’s one of the perks of being the frat’s alpha.”

  Chase watched Roxy for a long, silent moment, trying to talk himself out of the anger that filled him. Roxy broke up with you, fair and square. She can date anybody she likes. Alexander didn’t steal her, the way he stole Katrina. It’s not the same. But it felt the same. In fact, it felt far, far worse.

  “Well,” Roxy said, “what are your feelings for Katrina now? I mean, now that she’s back in your life…”

  This took Chase aback. Couldn’t Roxy see that he only had eyes for her? What did she think this night-time meeting was all about? “I, uh…” he stammered. “Obviously I’m grateful that she saved me.”

  “Of course.”

  “But Roxy, I…I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but…”

  “Maybe I was a little hasty about that,” she said. Chase’s heart beat wildly, until she added, “I mean, I’m so glad to see you now—to know that you’re okay—but I’ve been thinking a lot lately, since I started taking shifting lessons…”

  “From Alexander,” Chase said, his voice dropping low, almost to a growl. “I get it. You don’t have to tell me any more.”

  Roxy narrowed her eyes. “Don’t get mad. You were shacking up with Katrina in her Airstream. You don’t have any room to judge me there, buster.”

  Chase was tempted to tell her that he really had been only sleeping with Katrina, not sleeping with her. Separate bunks, all friendly respect, and no nudity anywhere to be found, unless it was to accommodate the occasional shift to his wolf form. But he bit his tongue. If Roxy was gracing Alexander’s bed, Chase didn’t want her to know that his relations with Katrina had been entirely G-rated. Let her believe whatever she would.

  And maybe, the sensible side of his brain whispered, maybe whatever Roxy has with Alexander is just as G-rated. But Chase quickly discarded that idea. He knew Alexander too well to believe that he’d let any opportunity to possess Roxy’s gorgeous body slide by. Alexander had changed, but he hadn’t changed that much.

  Chase shrugged. “Whatever was or is between Katrina and me, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

  Roxy stared at him with interest. Her green eyes seemed to spark with a sudden fire, almost luminescent in the darkness. A strange smell rose from her, at once bitter with disbelief and honey-sweet with desperate longing.

  Chase swallowed hard. He was about to say the one thing that would either bridge this terrible divide between them, or force it wider until it could never again be crossed. He was afraid of losing her for good this time, but he had to take the chance.

  “I love you, Roxy.”

  For a long time, she didn’t move, didn’t look at him—just stared blankly out into the blue-black darkness of the town square, her hands folded in her lap and her breath misting in the cold. Then, slowly, she turned and looked at him. Her face was pale, as if she’d been struck by some fierce inner pain. Her lips trembled, but there were no tears in her eyes.

  “Say something,” Chase pleaded.

  “I…” Roxy passed both her hands over her face,
as if trying to brush away a welter of emotions. “I can’t…figure this out. It’s all too much.” She jumped to her feet and walked a few brisk paces away, then stood, swaying.

  Chase hurried after her.

  Roxy wouldn’t face him, but when she spoke her voice shook with the force of her feelings. “I haven’t seen you in so long, Chase, and so much has happened to me in that time. I can’t just fall back into what we had like nothing ever happened.”

  “I know,” he said.

  “It ripped my heart out, when you started sleeping with Scarlett.”

  He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. “I know.”

  “There are other…other things in my life now, than just you.”

  Chase heard the words she meant to say: Other people—another person. Alexander.

  “And anyway,” Roxy went on with a bitter laugh, “why would you want me when you have Katrina again? She’s a hundred times more beautiful than I’ll ever be, and she freed you. She’s perfect; maybe you should just go back to her, re-start what you had before…and forget about me.”

  He place a gentle hand on Roxy’s shoulder. She turned and looked up at him, her eyes brimming. God, how he wanted to bend and kiss her, to hold her, to take away all her uncertainty with his lips, his hands—every part of him. But she needed to make up her own mind about where they stood.

  “I can never forget about you,” he told her. “There are a lot of things I’m not sure about—my future with Blackmeade, and what’ll happen with Scarlett—all kinds of things. But the one thing I’m certain of is you, Roxy. I love you, and I always will.”

  Chase asked if he could walk her home, just to be sure nothing happened to her along the way. She accepted, and they made their way through the snowy streets of Jackson Hole in silence, side by side. When they reached the walkway that led up to Roxy’s little blue house, she turned to gaze back at him for a moment, and Chase waved a hand in a friendly good-bye. Then she vanished through the front door. The sound of it shutting was like a boot stamping on Chase’s heart, and the night’s cold rushed in all around him.

  .7.

  W hen he returned to Alpha House, Chase sat for a long time in his Mustang, gripping the steering wheel, looking between the old Victorian that had been his home for most of the past three years, and the Airstream parked outside. There was a small, golden light flickering in the camper, like the flame of a burning candle.

  It seemed his life was nothing but forks in the road, turns in the path—and each time he thought he’d taken a correct path, it ended up wrong after all, and Chase found himself wishing he could go back and do everything over again.

  This moment, it seemed to him, was another fork in the road. To one side was Roxy, and to the other…

  Could he live without her? Could he truly forge a life on his own, knowing that she was out there somewhere, knowing that she knew the depth of his feelings but didn’t return his love?

  Katrina was beautiful, and brave, and capable—and Chase owed her much. If he could make a post-Roxy life with anybody, he could do it with this fearless witch, and with nobody else.

  He got out of the car, turned his back on Alpha House, and tapped lightly on the Airstream’s side door.

  Katrina opened it without a word. She was dressed for bed, in sweat pants that hugged her trim hips and her small, tight ass. A thin black t-shirt draped enticingly over her little round breasts. When the cold air met her skin, Chase could see her nipples stand out through the cotton.

  She seemed to know just what he was looking for—what he needed. Without a word, Katrina reached one soft hand around Chase’s neck and pulled him close. Her lips found his, warm and sweet; her tongue flicked between his teeth, teasing him, inviting him.

  He stumbled up the camper’s steps. The door shut behind him with a loud bang. The interior was lit by a single candle, its amber flame dancing dimly over Katrina’s folded-out bunk. They moved toward the bed together, her hands sliding along his shoulders, his gripping her around the waist.

  Katrina broke from the kiss to press her mouth against his neck, licking below his ear, where he was most sensitive. She still remembered that—the realization that she recalled his body so well pushed Chase to greater desire. He pulled her tight against him, cupping her ass with both hands, and she gave a little moan of encouragement.

  They tumbled onto the bunk, tangling in Katrina’s blanket as they struggled to strip off their clothes while still keeping hold of each other. When at last they were naked, pressing skin-to-skin and breathing in the scent of one another’s closeness, Chase shut his eyes.

  Maybe he could do this after all. Maybe he could get used to a life without Roxy.

  Just the thought of his beautiful fox sent a shiver of loss through him, but Chase ignored it, running his hand over Katrina’s small but warm curves, feeling her arch beneath his touch. She pulled him around for another long, deep kiss, and for one moment Roxy slipped entirely from Chase’s mind.

  Then he drew in a breath to whisper Katrina’s name, but his mouth formed an R instead.

  With a sudden chill and a colossal effort, Chase stopped himself from speaking. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Katrina’s feelings after all she’d done for him. His hand froze on Katrina’s breast.

  She pulled away from him, looking into his eyes with a wry, told-you-so smile.

  “What?” Chase finally managed.

  “I knew it,” she said. There was no malice in her voice—in fact, there was a hint of laughter in it. She rolled over, tugging the blanket up to cover her body. “Chase, you big, dumb idiot.”

  Stupidly, he said again, “What?”

  Katrina cupped his cheek with one hand, a friendly gesture. “You don’t love me.”

  “That’s not…I’m not…”

  “Don’t try to deny it. You love Roxy. I can tell.”

  Chase sighed. He rolled onto his back, too, and pulled his share of the blanket from Katrina. He put one hand behind his head and stared up at the ceiling of the Airstream, watching the candlelight sway there in pools of gold. “Okay,” he admitted. “You got me.”

  “Does she know how you feel?”

  “Yeah, she knows,” Chase said darkly.

  “Oh. The conversation didn’t go well, I take it?”

  Chase only muttered, “Damn Alexander,” and closed his eyes.

  He could feel Katrina shake her head against her pillow. “I wouldn’t write Roxy off yet. I can tell she still has feelings for you.”

  “What,” Chase said, refusing to open his eyes, “is this some kind of witchy thing? Can you see into other women’s hearts with your magic?”

  “It doesn’t take magic to see it, dope. Roxy’s torn over you. Sure, she might have…other distractions…but she’s not ready to write you off yet. She just needs to figure out where her life is going. And when she does, she’ll know the right path to take.”

  Now Chase did open his eyes. Katrina’s words mirrored his earlier thoughts in uncomfortable ways. He wondered if she had used magic to comprehend the situation, after all.

  “No magic required,” she insisted. “I can be insightful and observant without using spells.”

  She gave another light laugh and climbed over Chase so that she could pull her sweats and t-shirt back on. Chase barely saw her pale breasts or the flat plane of her stomach as she clambered across the bunk. All his thoughts were for Roxy.

  When Katrina was dressed again, she turned to Chase with a self-satisfied smirk. “I told Roxy she didn’t have anything to worry about.”

  “What was she worried about?”

  “You and me. She thought maybe you still loved me.”

  Chase sat up. “It sounds kind of mean when you put it that way. I mean, I’m grateful to you…”

  “Well, of course you are.”

  She tossed him his boxers, and he wiggled under the blanket, pulling them on.

  “And you’re so beautiful,” Chase said. “I don’t want you to
think…”

  “I don’t think anything, Chase. It’s all right, really. You and I are friends—we’ll always be friends. We’re more than that: we’re allies in this fight. We’re partners. We’re going to bring down Scarlett together. That’s good enough for me, and it’s good enough for you, too. I can tell.”

  Chase pulled on his jeans, then his shirt. When he was dressed, Katrina sat beside him on the bed and laid a friendly hand on his knee. “Roxy’s a smart girl. She’ll figure out where she belongs. She’ll decide the right path for her—and soon, too. So will you, Chase.”

  He stood and peered out the Airstream’s windshield, at the shadow of Blackmeade University, standing against the bare granite bones of the Grand Tetons. He remembered the freedom of his life in Salt Lake, and burned for it almost as much as he burned for Roxy.

  But he couldn’t return to the simple life—or sort things out with Roxy, or deal with his father and Blackmeade’s expectations—until Scarlett and her attacks were truly a thing of the past. First things first, he told himself. And then…who knows what the future might hold?

  “You can stay in here tonight, if you want,” Katrina offered.

  Chase glanced up at Alpha House, at the window to his little room. It was only across the yard from where he now stood—the snowy yard, gleaming in the moonlight. But it felt a world away.

  “I’d like that,” he said. “Thanks.”

  She helped him fold his old bunk out from the wall, then she pulled down spare blankets and a pillow from the little narrow closet beside the tiny washroom. Chase bedded down and Katrina blew out the candle, returning to her bed with a rustle and a sigh, as if their brief flare of passion had never occurred.

  It took a long time for Chase to drift off. His thoughts were tangled and desperate, and visions of shadowy paths kept flitting through his head. When he allowed his mind to wander down one of these paths, sometimes he’d find Roxy there, her face soft with forgiveness, her arms held out to embrace him. Sometimes he found Katrina, smiling, reaching for his neck, ready to pull him into a passionate kiss. And sometimes he found Scarlett, her hair and eyes as dark as the shadows in which she moved, taunting him with her hard, bitter stares and the memory of her intoxicating body.