Hush

by Jess Wygle

  “Hey baby,” Callem said. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a week now. This was the only way I knew how. Please, sit down. We need to talk.” He gestured to the chair in front of me with the gun.

  “Callem, put the gun away, what the hell are you doing?” I moaned. Erin looked at me with wide, fearful eyes.

  “Please, Liv, we have a lot to talk about and I’m not leaving here without you,” Callem said.

  “No, I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ve got a lawyer, Cal. You know that. You can’t be here right now. You need to leave. You need to leave before--”

  “Before what?” Callem snapped, taking the words from my mouth. “Before you call the police? That’s not a good idea, Livy, since I’ve got the police on my side. I promise you. They’re not going to help you. The only thing that will help is if you sit down and talk to me; that’s all I want. And if you refuse, well, I really hope you don’t.” His tone was mellow and smooth, contrary to the tension building in the small room. “I only brought Red and the guns because I’m at the end of my rope here, Liv. You’ve taken all my slack. We can work this out. This is fixable. Please, I’m asking nicely. Just sit down and listen to what I have to say.”

  I shook my head as the tears emerged. “No, I don’t want to hear excuses. You can’t excuse what you’ve done. You can’t explain it to me. You can’t try to deceive me with more lies and sugar coat this. You can’t just sweep it under the rug like it never happened. It happened. It’s happening. It’s real. It’s right in our faces and there’s nothing you can do to cover it up. Now, you need to leave.” I tried to sound firm. “Get out, Callem. Just get the hell out!” I shouted.

  Callem lifted his gun and pointed it at Erin’s temple. Erin cringed as she started to sob, squeezing her eyes shut. “No! Callem, no, stop,” I screamed, holding my hands out. Red didn’t flinch as he watched this scene unfold.

  “If you don’t sit down now, I’m going to do something you’ll regret,” Callem’s words were short and venomous. “I am not leaving here without you. Don’t make me prove that to you.”

  Red took a step towards me. I shuffled backward as he pulled the chair out in front of me and backed away again. I begged him with my eyes, begged him to stop this; to help us. He was too obedient to Callem. He’d never think of it. Reluctantly, I took a seat as Erin’s sobs subsided. “Will you please take the gun away from her?” I pleaded with him. As Callem moved the gun away from Erin’s head, I caught her gaze. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  Callem pulled out the chair next to Erin and took a seat, dropping his weapon on the table in front of us with a macabre thud. I sat uneasily as he shifted his weight, breathed in and out deeply, ran his fingers through his hair. Erin’s eyes flicked from one gun to the other as she sat stiff as a board. I’d seen Callem like this before. I’ve seen the fear he could instill in people first hand. He’d never used it on me, until now.

  “What do you want, Cal?” I finally whispered.

  He looked up at me for a long moment before answering. “I just want you to come home.”

  “I already told you that’s not happening.”

  “What do I have to do to make it happen?”

  I shook my head quickly. “There’s nothing you can do. What you could’ve done, that’s a different story and too far gone. You should’ve done something seven years ago.”

  Callem’s eyes moved to Erin. “How much did you tell her?” he asked me.

  “I haven’t told her anything. She doesn’t know,” I mumbled firmly, growing tense.

  “Are you sure?” Callem’s hand twitched. “I know you, Liv. You tell her everything. This is important. You need to tell me what you told her.” There was a professional air in his voice that rubbed me the wrong way.

  “I swear.” My throat was dry as I choked on my words. “I just told her we were fighting. I told her it wasn’t good. She tried to get it out of me, but I knew it would just come back on her if she found out. I’m not stupid. I understand how these things work.”

  “Is that true?” Callem turned to Erin now. “Did she keep my secret from you?” Erin’s chin quivered as she nodded. A large tear trickled from her eye, breaking my heart. Callem looked up at Red and sighed, leaning back in his chair. “You have to understand something, Erin, my secret is very dangerous and things might happen to you, things out of my control, if you knew, if you talk. I might not be able to help you if you decide one day to walk into a police station and tell to an investigator about me.”

  “I don’t know anything!” Erin snapped through clenched teeth, slapping her hand on the table in frustration. Her sobs swelled again as her shoulders shook. Callem watched her cry heartlessly for a moment, studying her state for the validity of her words before turning back to me.

  “Thank you for keeping this to yourself,” he mumbled to me.

  “Fuck you,” I grunted. “So now what?”

  “Now we can go home.”

  “I am not going to tell you again. I am not going back to that house.”

  “You know, there’s a problem with your determination, sweetheart. You are coming with me. You just don’t know it yet. You don’t have a choice, you see, because I have the gun. I have the men. I have the power. I didn’t want it to be like this. I didn’t want to have to be the bad guy, but you haven’t made this easy on me.”

  “You son of a bitch,” I said under my breath. “Made this easy for you? How dare you. You don’t deserve easy and you don’t deserve me. What makes you think I’m afraid of that gun? You’ll never use it on me. That much you can’t get by me. So if getting me to go home with you by force of your gun is your big plan, maybe you should call my bluff because I’d rather get shot than go home with you.”

  Callem scoffed. “You’re right, I’d never shoot you,” he admitted easily, too easily. “I didn’t bring the gun with intentions of threatening you with it. I brought it to use on Erin.”

  The words came out of his mouth as easily as a cordial greeting. My heart stopped. “Don’t,” I spat, cocking my head to the side.

  “Do you want to call my bluff?” He grabbed the gun, pulling it closer to himself.

  I had to force my head to shake. The Callem I knew would never do this. The Callem I knew loved Erin just as much as I did. The Callem sitting in front of me was not that man. “And what do you think is going to happen if I go home with you? You think things are going to go back to the way they were? You think I’ll just forget, act like nothing ever happened?”

  “Oh no,” Callem said, shaking his head. “It’ll take some adjusting, but eventually I think you’ll come around.”

  “It’s that easy, huh?”

  “Liv, I love you, even if you have a hard time understanding that. I love you so much I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you in it. I swear to you, we’ll work this out, for our sake.”

  “What happens to your plan when I don’t love you anymore? Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? I want a divorce, Cal. I want to put this, and put you, behind me. You will never get my love back, no matter how hard you try.” He didn’t say anything. “I will keep your secret. I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone. I just want to walk away from this, wash my hands of it.”

  Callem’s lips were tight. “There’s no walking away now. You’re scarred and that doesn’t wash away. If you leave me, I can’t protect you. It’s in your best interest to stay. Once you’re in it, there’s no getting out. I’m sorry.” My stomach turned. His words were as sincere as I’d ever heard from him. Truth was, he’s told me so many lies in the past using that same delivery that it could be completely twofaced and I wouldn’t know the difference.

  “Are you?” I asked through clenched teeth. “Are you really sorry? What did you think would happen? We could go on for the rest of our lives with me completely in the dark? Seriously, did you think you’d get away with it?”

  Callem shook his head. “No, I wanted to tell you myself.”

 
“Then why didn’t you?”

  “How could I? What would you have done if I would have told you when we first met?”

  “You and I wouldn’t be having this conversation right now if you had told me then. It wouldn’t have gotten any further than that.”

  “Exactly. I couldn’t lose you.”

  “Instead you tricked me. You seduced me until my heart was yours. You wanted me to be in so much love that I’d accept this secret life of yours. You imagined I’d be so blinded and crazy in love with you that I’d be okay with it.” Callem didn’t answer. I knew him well enough to know that meant I was right. “You’re delirious. I am not a gold digger. I’m not a dumb twenty-something with aspirations of being your trophy wife. I don’t depend on you to live a certain lifestyle. I can take care of myself. That was your first mistake when you targeted young, innocent me. I don’t need you. I needed your love to make me feel complete, but I would have turned away from it if I knew what it came with. I don’t want it anymore, any of it.”

  “That’s too bad,” Callem said sourly. “You can’t get out of it. This is bigger than a marriage certificate and you may think you have a good understanding of what this is, but you don’t know the half of it. You haven’t even begun to scratch the surface. What I did to you was wrong and it was selfish and I don’t want to see you pay for my sins, which is exactly what will happen if you don’t stay.”

  “You’re wrong,” I grumbled. “I am paying for your sins with my guilt and disgust. Now, I’m forced into a situation I don’t want to be a part of. That won’t end. I’ll forever be in pain because of what you’ve done to me.”

  Callem sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Look, let’s just go home and we’ll take it one step at a time.”

  My eyes moved to the gun in his hand, still securely clutched in his grip. I shook my head slowly.

  “Please don’t make me force you,” Callem whined. “Please. I really, really don’t want to do that. Don’t push me to that point.”

  “You have a choice. You don’t have to do it.”

  “This is your last chance. Are you coming home with me?”

  The tension was so thick in the air I could feel the pressure pushing down on my chest. I studied him. He was desperate. I could see that much. With desperation comes unpredictability and that terrified me. Callem shifted his grip on the gun, pulling it off the table and dropping it down to his lap. Strangely, I was able to think clearer with the gun out of sight, even though I knew it was even closer to Erin than before.

  “What about Erin? She still doesn’t know anything. Do you promise me you won’t hurt her in any way?”

  Callem nodded. “I promise.” There was a hint of hope in his voice.

  Erin looked at me with a twisted expression, deducing my intentions. “You can’t go with him,” she said through clenched teeth. “Olivia, you can’t.”

  “I have to protect you,” I whispered. Erin’s mouth hung open. “I’ll be fine. He’s not going to hurt me. This will work out.” I was only saying these things for Erin and I hated that Callem had to hear this. Was I filling him with a false sense of hope? “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you because of me. You just have to trust me. You trust me, don’t you?”

  “I don’t trust them,” she replied.

  “You have to. You have to trust that I’ll be fine and so will you.”

  “Look, I don’t give a fuck if you’re married. This is illegal! This is kidnapping. You can’t seriously be thinking of going along with this. This is crazy,” Erin pleaded with me. I could see the frustration bubbly under skin.

  “Erin,” I glanced at Callem before I continued. It felt strange talking about him like he wasn’t right in front of us. I had to keep my voice calm in an effort to calm Erin down a bit. “You don’t understand and I can’t explain it to you. It’d be useless to go to the police or try to get him in trouble for this. I guarantee you. There isn’t anything else we can do.”

  Erin looked as cornered as I felt. Her mouth became tight with anger as she stared aimlessly at the table top. “If anything happens to her, I kill you,” she mumbled to Callem.

  “If anything happens to her, you’re welcome to try,” he enticed Erin while staring at me. “I know it may be hard for you to accept after what’s happened here tonight, but I will take care of her. She’s the only reason things happened this way. I just want her back.”

  “How chivalrous of you,” Erin mocked. “What am I supposed to do?” she asked me.

  “I’ll call you every day. We’ll get through this, okay?” Erin didn’t seem pleased with my response. What else could I say?

  “Are we done here?” Callem asked impatiently.

  I told my legs to move. I tried to stand, but I was glued to the chair, staring into Erin’s troubled expression. My mind was racing in those short seconds, looking for a loop hole in this plan; looking for a way out. Finally, Red took a step closer to me. I was afraid he’d grab my arm or pull me from where I sat. I looked up at him as if setting a dare with my gaze. Something in me was trying to provoke a confrontation, just to have a chance to throw a swing at either one of them. I had to keep it together while we were still with Erin.

  Using my hands, I pushed myself up from the table, rising slowly. The seething anger heating my core vaporized my tears before they could break to the surface. I moved to head for the door, escaping the final pleading gazes from Erin. Callem stepped between Red and me. He put his hand on my back, but I shook it off. “Don’t touch me,” I mumbled as I slipped my shoes on and swept out of the front door.

  I stopped on the darkened front walkway. Red sidestepped past me and walked down the street. The Mercedes was parked a few houses down in front of a large SUV. I should have seen it. I shook my head at the carelessness of it. “I’ll have Red go to the hotel and collect your things after he drops us off at home. Do you have the room key?”

  “I can get my own bags, thank you,” I said shortly.

  “It’s not a request. Until things get as close to normal as they can be, you won’t have very much say-so in how things are going to work.”

  “I’m your prisoner?” I asked, though it seemed more like a statement.

  “No, Liv, you’re my wife.”

  “Sounds to me like those terms are interchangeable in your vocabulary.”

  “Let’s not get it twisted. I’m doing this to protect you. Do you know how many of my clients know us on a personal level? Do you know what they’d do if they found out we separated? They’d all assume you knew about my business from the get go. They all assume you know each and every one of them. They’d assume you’d nark on them if we separated. It honestly terrifies me to think of what could happen to you.”

  He should have thought about that a long time ago. This little pity party he was trying to throw from himself would be celebrated in solitude. “Don’t try to convince me for one minute that this intimidation game you just played wasn’t completely selfish. The king-pin just wants his queen back by his side to restore order to the empire. Stop me when I’ve said too much.”

  He and I looked at each other, his face masked in the dark of night, but still very much alive with the sweet sting of victory, or was that candid relief I saw? “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

  “Sad thing is, I’ll never know. You’ve hidden the truth from me since we first met. I don’t expect you to be truthful now and I don’t think I’d be able to discern the truth from a lie if I tried. It’ll be hard for me not to consider every syllable out of mouth to be a complete and utter lie.” I moved to the Mercedes, now waiting for us at the curb, before he could respond.

  2006 - Olivia

  “Let’s not make a big deal out of this,” I said to Erin as she helped me set the table.

  “I think it’s a very big deal,” Erin said. “You realize this is the first guy you’ve ever brought home? I mean you told me about those guys while you were at Berkeley, but I never met any of them. My bab
y’s all grown up,” she added, imitating a whiney Southern Bell.

  I chuckled, shaking it off. “Really, it’s nothing, but at the same time I don’t want to jinx it or get myself worked up only to be knocked down, you know?”

  “Do Mom and Dad know?” Erin asked, referring to her parents.

  “Mom knows I’m seeing someone. She was inquisitive when I told her, of course, but I kind of played it off like it was nothing. I don’t think we’re at the point in our, well, whatever it is to be talking about meeting the parents. There’s no point in me even bringing it up if this thing fizzles or something.”

  Erin nodded, setting a wine glass at each of the four table settings. “Yeah, but you’ve known each other for what, nine months now. You’ve gone out together like a dozen times. You’re not strangers anymore. All that time and he’s still coming back for more. You can’t be upset about that. But what about this Red guy? What’s his story? Is he cute?” Erin grinned wickedly.

  “Red is really nice. He’s a lot like Callem was when I first met him, all business, really professional. But each time I see him, he, you know, buttons down more and more. He’s more casual with me now. He and Callem grew up together. Their families were really close. Red’s father passed just a couple of years ago, but his mother still takes both of them in for holidays and such.”

  “What about Callem’s parents?”

  “His mother died of cancer when he was really young, much like my mother. His father died when he was twenty-eight, which is when he picked up the company and asked Red to be his right-hand man.”

  “Why do they call him Red? Is that his real name?”

  “You know, I asked that too and both Callem and Red laughed. They told me I didn’t want to know, whatever that means,” I shrugged. “I didn’t press them about it.”

  Erin leaned on one of my dinette chairs. “That’s kind of creepy, right? Why won’t they tell you? That’s weird. You think it’s something bad, something gross?”