Lost and Found (books 1-3): Small-Town Romantic Comedy

by Elizabeth Lynx

  “I remember Vulta. I thought you used to jizz in it.”

  He scratched his head and blinked at me. “What sort of whacked-out fantasies do you think I have, Iona? Why would you think I’d get off fucking a stuffed eagle?”

  “Patriotism. I don’t know.” I shrugged.

  Grabbing my hand, he pushed on the gold band. I lifted it up to admire it on my finger. For a moment, it warmed my heart to wear his grandmother’s ring. The way he smiled at me, at the ring, I wondered if he felt it, too.

  But then the gleam in his eyes faded, along with his grin.

  “There you go. Officially, faked engaged.”

  FIFTEEN

  Tyler

  “Oh my God, that’s incredible, Jake. Mmm,” I heard Iona say as I came down the stairs.

  As I moved closer to the kitchen, there was a moan and finally, “You are wicked, you dirty man.” Iona’s laughter had the hairs on the back of my neck rising. It was deep, sensual, and I thought used only to seduce me.

  “I knew you’d love it.”

  “How do you get your nuts so juicy? I didn’t know that was even possible.”

  My heart pounded as I clenched my fist. How could they do that to me? My brother and my fiancée. I mean, she’s not really my fiancée, but he doesn’t know that.

  “What the hell are you two doing—” I stopped when I turned the corner of the kitchen. The scene I saw was revolting. Bile crept up my throat and I hoped I wouldn’t throw up. Something dark brown coated Iona’s lips and Jake had it dribbled down his chin.

  “Want some of my famous brownies?”

  “Brownies?” I asked, still surprised it wasn’t what I thought. My God, if they had been doing what I thought they had been doing, I don’t think I could be in the same room with them ever again.

  Jake lifted a tray with dark gooey brownies. A few were missing and I assumed in their stomachs.

  “No, thank you. I haven’t had dinner and I only allow myself one indulgence a week.” I patted my stomach and moved toward the refrigerator.

  After we showed my brother the ring, he made jokes at my expense about being cheap. He had never seen Grandma’s ring and had no idea that was what I gave Iona. To my surprise, Iona defended me and said she loved it.

  I spent the rest of the day at work. They were home alone. I had just returned and went upstairs to change. I was hungry but not enough to ruin my appetite.

  “I forgot you eat like a bird,” Jake mumbled in between bites of his dessert.

  Grabbing the milk from inside the fridge, I turned back and placed it on the island. They were still munching down on the other side.

  “And you eat like a caveman. Though, I don’t think cavemen had brownies.”

  “I’ll have you know they aren’t all sugar. I sprinkle some protein powder in them.”

  How much protein does a person need? No wonder he looked like He-Man.

  “Now that you both are here, I feel there’s something I need to get off my chest,” Jake said as he stepped closer.

  “To me?” Iona asked.

  “To both of you.” Jake pointed to us. “It’s something that might help clear up a few things.” Jake sighed. “Now that you two are back together, I feel I owe it to you to let you know the truth . . .”

  My brother was never serious—everything was always fun and light-hearted with him. This couldn’t be good.

  “You know how you lost the phone at the edge of town after the dance your senior year?”

  I felt heat crawl up my neck as I nodded.

  “Well, you didn’t lose it. Dad sold it to Keaghan Bailey for money. I heard Dad on the phone one day when I got home early from school. I don’t know how it went down but I know Keaghan offered him a replacement and paid him, too. Dad even thanked him for pre-programming in a few numbers for him. Which I thought was weird, but it was Dad, so I knew not to question him for fear I’d be dragged to jail for being an accessory.”

  Now it all made sense. I didn’t fat-finger Iona’s number, Keaghan put it in wrong.

  “So, it was Keaghan who messed up the number. And all these years, I thought you hated me. One more reason to hate the mayor.”

  “Ugh. How did that sleazebag ever get elected?” She groaned and licked her fingers.

  “How do you think? His usual ways—bullying people to vote for him and donate to his campaign.”

  We all stood there for a moment and let the truth of what happened sink in. Finally, I grabbed a glass and began to pour the milk when I saw Iona move toward me with a gleam in her eye.

  “I need a kiss from my fiancé.”

  She puckered her lips, and I noticed that not only was her mouth covered in chocolate, but her fingers were, too. She was like a very tall toddler who got into her mom’s cooking batter.

  “No.” I put down the carton and backed out of the kitchen toward the living room. “Stay away from me. I’ve got my good T-shirt on.”

  “It’s faded and worn. How is that your good T-shirt?”

  “It’s comfortable.”

  My plea did nothing to stop her. It only encouraged her, and she picked up speed. I ran up the stairs double time and made it into the bedroom, but I couldn’t get the door closed in time. Though Iona was several inches shorter than me, she was quick.

  Closing the door, she locked it and smeared chocolate all over the doorknob.

  “You need to wash your hands and wipe off your mouth, then I’ll kiss you.”

  Shaking her head, she inched closer, dragging out the dread. Unlike the rest of my body, my dick liked this game. My heart pounded and my jeans grew tighter with each step she took.

  Iona stopped just short of touching me and I sighed in relief. This childish need of hers to taunt me with chocolate needed to end.

  Her smile grew and I realized too late that what I had thought was over had only just begun.

  Her finger reached out and my eyes widened as it headed toward my nose. At the last second it changed course, dipped lower and pressed to my lip. My reaction was instant and without thought—I opened my mouth and let it slip right inside.

  My cock twitched in appreciation.

  “You can help me clean up.” She stepped forward and stood on her toes. The sweet taste of the chocolate did something to me. Or maybe it was the scent of lavender that drifted from her hair as I leaned toward her. Or maybe it was how I couldn’t stop thinking about her at work today. It was a busy day but nowhere near as hectic as yesterday.

  I also worried about not using a condom but made a vow that if we had the chance to be intimate again, I’d make sure to have a condom on me at all times. Not physically on my dick all the time. Like, right now, I wasn’t wearing a condom. I just made sure to carry a condom with me wherever I went.

  Remembering our night on the picnic table made it hard to concentrate at work. And my eyes dipped to her lips with the memory of how she tasted. I reached out and traced the small scar under her lip.

  I remember when Keaghan tripped her in the hall in eleventh grade and she fell. She had a gash on her lips and chin, which healed into a permanent reminder of what an asshole he was. He claimed it was an accident, but I saw how he laughed and high-fived his friends after.

  Thankfully, the mixed-up phone numbers and cut lips are just distant memories now.

  I pulled her finger from my mouth and lowered my mouth to hers. She sighed and it made the kiss so much sweeter. I nipped and sucked at her lips until she was clean.

  “You taste so good,” I said as I lifted her fingers, making sure to get them clean, too.

  “I knew you’d like the brownies.”

  Lowering her hand, I gazed into her eyes. They were dark, almost black, as she stared at my lips. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and when she touched me, I never wanted her to stop. This woman would be the death of me, and I was sure it involved multiple orgasms and butt plugs.

  “It’s you I like. I could eat you all day long.”

  The corner of her lips t
icked up. “Is that a promise?”

  I nodded and lifted her into my arms, walking toward the bed.

  “You really do have a thing about carrying me around, don’t you?”

  I’ll never let you go.

  “You have a thing about being a smart-ass.”

  I lowered her onto the bed and stood over her. Last time she was the one almost naked while I never completely removed my clothes. This time, I was going to undress.

  I was peeling off my shirt when I heard her say, “That’s it, baby. Strip for me.”

  Chuckling, I threw the shirt onto the floor. “You want a striptease?”

  She scooted up and sat crisscross, clapping her hands. “Yes. Please, do it for me.”

  “There’s no music.”

  “I’ll do the music,” Iona said, and I thought she would go grab her phone to bring up a song, but instead, she produced sounds from her mouth that might be considered music in some ancient culture.

  I swiveled my hips and popped the button from my jeans. “Why does this feel like a ritual dance? Like I’m about to be sacrificed or something.”

  “Because you are. I’ll sacrifice you so hard you’ll think you’ve entered Valhalla after I’m done.”

  Lowering my zipper, I had no idea how to take off my jeans in a sexy way. I thought of how I’d seen women do it in movies and remembered they kept their legs straight as they pulled their pants down, showing their ass.

  I decided to do that. Turning, I pulled the jeans and bent forward. My balance began to waver, and I took a step to regain it, but my jeans were around my ankles at that point. I tripped and fell face forward onto the floor. Thankfully, I reached forward in time to lessen the impact with my hand.

  “Oh, damn. Did that hurt? It looked like it hurt.” Iona scrambled out of bed and lowered herself to my side.

  I lay, half-naked in a ball on the floor, and I mumbled, “A little. I’m okay.” But I didn’t move.

  “Can you roll over?”

  She pushed at my back in an attempt to help. I winced as I moved but got onto my back. Gazing up at her, I worried. She wasn’t smiling exactly. Her eyes darted over my face and it seemed like she was forcing herself to look happy. Either that or she was holding in a fart.

  “How bad do I look?”

  “It’s just your face, so that’s good.”

  That’s the thing everyone sees. How could that be good?

  “Just tell me.”

  “Half your face is super red and a little puffy. And I think that’s a cut on your cheek. Is it painful?”

  “No. I feel a little throbbing by my eye but that’s it.”

  Her eyes slid down my body, stopping about halfway. Even lying here hurt she couldn’t stop thinking of sex. The woman had a super activated sex drive. Even when we got home last night, she wanted to do it again. But I was beat from the day, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

  “Stop staring at it.”

  “But it’s so handsome.”

  That made me smile, which caused a bolt of pain to slice up the side of my face. “Ow. Don’t make me laugh or smile or anything that might move my face in any way.”

  “Oh, my poor little man.” She reached over and cradled my head, careful to avoid the left side of my face. “I need to get you to bed.”

  She took my hand and helped me up. I was light-headed but the feeling soon disappeared. Guiding me over, she pulled back the covers and helped me into bed as if I couldn’t do it myself.

  I let her because I liked the doting side of Iona. She was usually so crass and silly, but this was her gentle side—willing to do anything to help someone in need, just like her mother.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Iona left the room. It wasn’t long before I heard the front door open and close, and I wondered if she had left. But then she blew through the bedroom door and riffled through her section of the closet.

  “I sent Jake to get some Aleve at the drug store. He should be gone for a while.” She winked with a pile of clothes and a black bag.

  “Okay. Sounds good.”

  She shuffled into the bathroom and shut the door. After a minute, I considered getting up and going downstairs to start dinner but before I could get up, the bathroom door opened.

  Iona stood there in a perfectly fitted nurse’s costume, complete with the little fantasy hat. She held a black medical bag in her hands and sashayed over.

  “Now, it’s time to check on my patient.”

  SIXTEEN

  Iona

  The look on Tyler’s face was worth every penny I paid the costume department on the film The Boss’s Nightmare. I played a private nurse to a rich executive and halfway through the film, I turned into a zombie.

  “You’re my n-n-nurse,” he stuttered and it was everything.

  Once, when we were young and our friendship had yet to blossom into something more, he admitted he had a thing for nurses. That’s why I bought the costume from the movie. Not because I thought this day would ever materialize, but it gave me an idea that it would be fun to do some roleplay with a one-night stand. My reasoning was that if Tyler had a fantasy about nurses, then other guys might, too.

  “Yes, Dr. Ferguson. It seems the doctor has become the patient, and I need to make sure he’s well cared for.”

  I brought the bag over to the bedside table and bent over to look into it, making sure the hem of the dress rode up enough to show him that I wasn’t wearing any panties.

  “Oh, Christ.”

  He saw.

  I pulled out a moist antiseptic wipe, antibiotic cream, and a bandage. When I turned to him, I noticed his cock was eagerly awaiting my ministrations, but it had to wait its turn.

  I cleaned and bandaged his face, making sure I was gentle. The way Tyler stared up at me, you’d think I was an angel sent from sex heaven.

  I saw his arm move from out of the corner of my eye. His fingers brushed my chest, moving down into my cleavage, which was on full display.

  This wasn’t a cheap Halloween costume. It had been custom made for my body and it’s that little touch that turned me into his wet dream come to life.

  His hand slid past the front seam, under my white lace bra, and grabbed my breast.

  “I’m glad to see your energy’s up, Dr. Ferguson. But there’s one thing I think might give you the boost you really need.”

  My hand slid down his body—his abs tensed to my teasing touch. He watched my hand as if he really was dying and I held the cure in my fingertips.

  His cock was stiff and a bead of precum had already formed on the tip. His eyes slid up to mine, begging me to relieve him of the tension. He wanted to play this out and I would love to give it to him, but he needed to be patient first.

  “I think this needs mouth-to-mouth.” I slid my hand down his shaft, cupping his balls. My neck was so close to his chest as I bent I could feel his breath against my sensitive skin.

  “Fuck. Fuck.” Tyler’s hips lifted to my touch as he spread his legs.

  This performance was all for him. I’d do anything to make Tyler happy. Before I leave this house for good in a month and a half, I’d make sure I made up for every lie he told on my behalf. I couldn’t admit it to him, but the guilt of putting him through the deceit was weighing on me. He worked hard, was honest to a fault, and never deserved the chaos I brought with me when I came to town.

  He would never want someone like me long-term. Sure, I was capable of bringing his fantasies to life, but he was too good for me. I had lived long enough surrounded by people who’d sell their soul for one line in a blockbuster film that I wondered if I was turning into one of them.

  I left a trail of kisses down his chest, his stomach, and when I got to the tip of his cock, I heard him gasp. It was kind of easy to turn him on. Last night, all I had to do was flash him my boobs and he was on his knees. I think it helped that I flashed him my pussy, too, and played with myself, but still . . .

  “Oh, it definitely needs mou
th-to-mouth. But it’s so big . . . I’m not sure I can get my lips around. Let me get it wet first.”

  I crawled between his legs, unzipped the opening of my outfit, and pulled back the lace cups of my bra. It turned him on last night to see my tits, why not give him another show?

  His hands were tight fists at his sides as I played with myself. He didn’t complain, though.

  Once I was done teasing him with my tit play, I lowered myself back to his cock. It was angry having to wait so long for my touch. I never noticed how big he was until now. I mean, I felt it last night—the way he filled me was incredible—but I never got to fully see it in the darkening sky or when he was naked and didn’t realize it. It wasn’t as erect then.

  I cupped the base and slid my tongue up and down, making sure to suck on the tip. The groan Tyler released was worth the wait. My pussy was soaked, and I could feel myself drip down my thigh. I wondered if this tease was doing more for him or for me.

  I wanted to dig into the action team bag in the back of the closet and whip out my toys. But instead, I focused on pleasing my man. Because even though this engagement was fake, I enjoyed knowing we were together, even if it wasn’t for long.

  My hand was slick from pulling and rubbing his cock. I slid my mouth over, only getting halfway down before coming back up. He didn’t seem to mind. Tyler’s hands slid into my hair, causing the little hat to fall from my head and my hair to tumble forward.

  “Iona . . . Come here.”

  Was I doing something wrong? Why would he want me to stop? Oh God, was I bad at this? After all this time, no one told me? I get it; I had only had one-night stands, but you’d think someone would have mentioned something.

  I lifted my head, my lips raw from working his cock.