Made for Me (Danielle Grant Book 1)

by Sarah Gerdes

Somewhere, sometime later, she would consider the consequences of her actions, the details buried within the documents she’d signed, along with the words of commitment she made to Lars, but not now. Andre pushed her skirt past her hips, wrapped her legs around him and carried her down the hallway.

  “I can’t be without you, Danielle,” he murmured, his lips on the skin of her neckline. “And not just for tonight.”

  Danielle couldn’t think about time beyond the present. In a haze of desire, she told him she needed him now.

  Andre’s mouth vibrated from a moan of pleasure as he found a position to honor her request, giving her what they both wanted. She turned off thinking about the future as Andre moved inside her, as easily and naturally as dancing during their first night out. She promised herself that she was going to give every ounce of pleasure to this man, creating memories that would have to last the remainder of her time in Zurich.

  Danielle woke first to the sound of pebbles falling on the roof. Dark grey clouds cloaked the sky, and she saw the huge droplets of rain on the open window. She gazed at Andre lying next to her, sleeping peacefully.

  His arm was up on the pillow where her head had been, his hair messy, his face darker and even sexier than it was during daylight hours. Last night, she’d spent copious amounts of time playing with the hair on his chest, curling it in her fingers, teasing parts of his skin with her tongue as they took turns exploring one another’s body in a way far more intimate than their first night together.

  Danielle silently removed a light cover up from her drawer and went to the second bathroom to wash her face. She put water in the tea pot and started a batch of oatmeal before she went into the living room. The room was chilly, the moisture accompanying the clouds reminding her of spring in Oregon.

  She found the switch for the gas fireplace and flipped it on, making it back to the kitchen just before the buzzer on the tea pot went off. Pouring herself a cup, she added honey because her throat felt scratchy. They hadn’t had much sleep, to be sure. She finished her drink then returned to the bedroom.

  She lay down alongside him, her elbow propping up her head, her fingertips tracing his arm. His eyes flickered open, a cautious smile on his lips. His fingers crossed to her cheek and dropped down to her décolletage.

  “This is pretty,” he said, feeling the fabric between his fingers. “How are you feeling?”

  Danielle gazed at him and sighed. “Shocked and amazed, and very…upset. And you?”

  Andre’s thoughtful smile continued as his finger dropped lower, maintaining eye contact with her as he did so. “You are a veritable tsunami,” he deadpanned. Despite the situation, Danielle couldn’t help giggling. She liked the visual of a destructive force hitting land, decimating everything in its path.

  Andre turned serious. “Now tell me about what you signed. Don’t skip anything.” Danielle didn’t. She even went so far as to retrieve a copy of the paperwork from her files. Andre sat up in bed as read the documents as Danielle sat next to him. Finally, he asked her to repeat what Lars had told her during that first conversation. When she finished, Andre looked up at the ceiling, then smiled like the underdog who had just out-strategized the chess champion.

  “Danielle, we’re Swiss. Discretion is what we do best. We can continue seeing each other on the side.”

  Her mouth opened. “Are you kidding me? This is a very small community of ultra-wealthy people. One errant comment by your cousin, word gets around to Lars and then I get fired anyway. Besides, it’s unethical. I can’t do it.”

  Andre felt for her leg under the comforter. “Forget Lars, forget my cousins in Geneva and for a moment, let’s not talk ethics. Let’s talk reality. We can just keep meeting up here or my new apartment, and no one is the wiser. We’re business partners in any case. We have a reason to meet all the time anywhere we please.”

  “Without touching or being close? Nothing that could be misconstrued?”

  He gripped her inner thigh. “We have entire countries we can escape to. It’s not like we’re going to walk in front of MRD and flaunt it.”

  After their passion-driven night together, she didn’t have the internal stamina to end their relationship right then, but she was perfectly clear on one thing: she had to end it. She’d call Lani and Stephen, and her dad, empowering herself with the strength she’d need change the nature of their relationship—certainly their intimate side—at least for the remainder of the year. Personal happiness—even the kind brought about by great chemistry in bed and fun on the road—were far easier to be replicated that a well-paying job at a prestigious firm. She and Andre were friends, first and foremost, and that wouldn’t change. Three months of togetherness had convinced her of that.

  CHAPTER 21

  Danielle dropped the bomb on her partners Saturday morning at their flat. “It happens more than you imagine,” Stephen said calmly, bringing her a cup of tea. “Think of the handsome attorneys or beautiful management consultants. The client is smart, attractive and single. Sometimes married. Choice are made. Consequences follow.”

  “What did you father say?” Lani wanted to know.

  “I will quote him directly,” Danielle answered. “It’s love over life. You can always have a life, but not always have a love.”

  “Smart man,” said Stephen approvingly.

  Lani gave her husband a sideways look. “Did Andre get back to you after he spoke with his father?”

  Danielle nodded her head, still in disbelief. “Georgy and my dad might as well be in league together. Georgy told Andre that under no circumstances does he want me quitting, and he also doesn’t want Andre to stop seeing me.” Lani’s mouth dropped and Stephen chuckled. “It’s an ethical conspiracy of ridiculous proportions. I feel sick at the thought of going out with him and being seen before I have a chance to sort this out—which I have to do soon. He, on the other hand, believes we can keep riding motorcycles and not be noticed.”

  Lani was skeptical. “Is he serious? You wear your black motorcycle outfit and aren’t recognized? No. Way.”

  Stephen turned to her, his hand on her neck. “As long as they aren’t overt, it will fly under the radar.” He looked at Danielle. “Seriously Danielle. At this stage in your life, relax and enjoy having a real boyfriend for once. Just don’t make out in public.”

  “I can’t do it, Stephen. I’m not going to put my career on the line for Andre, love and a great relationship aside. I’ve worked too hard to get to this point.”

  After a sip from her glass, Lani exhaled the sigh of inevitability. “When are you going to tell him?”

  “Well, first things first. I’ve got tonight and tomorrow, and honestly...”

  Lani snorted, the unfeminine response stopping Danielle short. “You want to sleep with him a few more times? Oh man…” her comment cut off by laughing.

  Danielle glared at her. “As I was going to say, I don’t want to be so abrupt about it. Maybe ease into it this week, draw back into phone calls and then texting so it won’t be so crushing.”

  “Crushing for who? You or him?”

  When Danielle didn’t immediately answer, Stephen spoke. “Maybe he’ll wait it out. Who knows what a man in love will do?”

  “Well, for the sake of my nerves, can you please do this earlier rather than later? I want know that he’ll still be a part of the restaurant after you guys aren’t sleeping together anymore.” Lani turned to Stephen with what Danielle knew was fear in her eyes. “Do you really think he’ll stay?”

  Stephen nodded. “The financials don’t change with their dating status.”

  Lani exhaled, nodded as though to convince herself. “Ok,” she said. “Sleep together tonight and through the weekend, pull back and then tell him next weekend. I can handle six days of complete stress and uncertainty.”

  Danielle inhaled. She could too.

  Andre came over after midnight, his last evening cruise going well over schedule. Danielle couldn’t bring herself to join him in the shower, guilt c
onflicting with desire. He showed no signs of withdrawing from her, mentally or physically, something she already felt herself doing. Being with him tonight was wrong, she acknowledged to herself. Just as wrong as not telling Lars and Ulrich the moment after she realized Andre was a client of the firm.

  “You are so beautiful,” Andre said, meeting her eyes. He had only a towel around his waist, drops of water still on his chest. “My attempt at drying was half-hearted at best. I’m more interested in you.”

  Danielle simultaneously placed her fingertips on his chest, the motion her only attempt at doing the right thing. “I know you have to work tomorrow…” she began, stopping when the towel dropped.

  “I don’t need much sleep,” he said with a smile. Danielle’s fortitude evaporated with his kiss, but she knew deep inside her mental countdown had begun.

  Monday, Danielle dressed with more care than usual and was up twenty-seven percent when Glenda told her she’d received another new client referral. Ulrich stopped by not long afterward, amused the new client refused his attempts to take a meeting. He was interrupted by her phone ringing. She saw it was the extension for Lars and Ulrich excused himself.

  “He won’t be as forgiving as I am,” Ulrich intoned. Danielle smiled weakly, unsure if he was kidding or serious.

  “Will you come to my office please?” Lars asked. Her stomach clenched as she said she’d be right down.

  When the door unlocked, he motioned her to the sitting area. She watched his eyes dart across the screen for a few seconds before he joined her, striding in her direction with purpose.

  His face was stern, a slight flush on his cheeks. Danielle glanced away, feeling a heat that that had nothing to do with nerves. He was unbelievably striking today, the dark suit set off by a grey pinstripe suit and another blue tie, this time a deep, electronic blue with a shimmer. Danielle felt her blood pressure drop at both his looks and from her fear at what he might have to say.

  “Yes?” she asked as normally as she knew how.

  “Danielle, you know I appreciate your style. You come, you focus, you deliver. But this morning you put me in a position of discomfort which I didn’t completely appreciate.”

  “I didn’t think discomfort was a state that was actually possible for you,” she said in a measured tone. All the feelings of guilt came rushing to the forefront and her other, more reasonable self screamed at her for not being forthright when she had the chance. He stared at her with those penetrating, dark eyes. Easy. If this was going to be her last time in his presence, she might as well be careful and considerate. “That said, I will apologize in advance if what I have done has caused you, or the firm, any embarrassment.” Her tone was as serious and direct as her first meeting with him. They stared at one another, each silently assessing the other, waiting for a break. It was Lars who spoke first.

  “Today I had a breakfast meeting with a man I’ve been trying to get as a client for nearly three years. As I prepared to ask for his signature on the paperwork, he informed me he already had a trader lined up at the firm.” Lars stared at her meaningfully. “You.”

  The relief that he wasn’t confronting her about Andre gave her back the day of life she’d lost upon entering his office.

  “That made you uncomfortable?” she said, the disclosure giving her a touch of levity.

  Lars pursed his lips, but his eyes held hers, as steady as an Olympic gymnast on the balance beam. “He is also moving his family’s trust investments to MRD, with you holding all the gold and currency.” Danielle held her nerves and her foot steady. Her control registered on his face, a flick of managing-director impatience registering as he tapped his forefinger on the edge of the chair. “I would like it to at least appear as though you inform us of your activities.”

  Danielle breathed in the fresh air of freedom, feeling like her sentence had just been commuted. “Lars, would you rather have a trader who talks big or one who does her job with the numbers simply appearing at the bottom of the screen?”

  Lars crossed one leg over the other, his foot bouncing. The man sighed in both admiration and frustration. “Did you even know?”

  “Know what?” she asked, purposefully misunderstanding him.

  “Know that he was going to sign?”

  The fear of losing her job momentarily over, she relaxed into honesty. “Lars, I don’t give hard sells to anyone, so if and when people elect to choose our firm, it’s a bonus for me.”

  “So the answer is no, you have no idea who I’m talking about.”

  “It wasn’t like I was keeping anything from you.”

  Lars gaze of admiration continued. “You really don’t have any idea who you are influencing and when?”

  “Do you?”

  Something shifted in Lars’ manner, and her chest suddenly felt full. “Yes, most of the time I have a pretty good idea.”

  Bring it back, she coached herself. Be humorous.

  “I’ll tell you what,” Danielle began. “I promise to keep bringing in new business if you promise to not get mad if neither one of us knows about it.” She added, her unforced laughter echoing off the glass walls and back to her.

  Lars drew his lips into his mouth, the effect chiseling the skin on his cheekbones and jawline. “I assumed that part,” he said dryly as he stood up to open the door for her.

  Although she was smiling on the outside, Danielle’s legs were still shaking as she walked down the hall and sat behind her desk. She waited until after trading had ended and the halls were quiet until she called Lani, relating that her heart was still palpitating at the conversation.

  “I’m telling you, you are playing the odds Danielle,” Lani said nervously. “And you never, ever play the odds.”

  Danielle watched as Lars walked in front of her, his head straight, his eyes focused.

  “I know.” One heart-palpitating experience was enough, and she didn’t need another. This Friday she had her first company event, boating on the lake. They were getting together Saturday night. She’d tell him then.

  CHAPTER 22

  As the evening sun set, every ounce of her body craved to be with Andre, but she ate dinner, read her reports and traded. He called and despite her initial remark to keep it short, they remained on the phone for hours. In a single, marathon conversation, she learned more intimate details of his life than he’d shared in the previous three months. Maybe it was the absence of sex, or perhaps the realization they’d be unable to meet in person again unless it was a very public place.

  Danielle turned on her side, recalling what he’d unexpectedly revealed about his ex-girlfriend becoming pregnant and aborting the child. He’d had no choice or legal recourse in the decision. Compounding his grief and anger was his own mother taking his then-girlfriend’s side. Both women believed they should have a formal wedding, buy a home, wait a few years then have a planned family. All he wanted was his baby girl. Georgy had sided with him, and that had caused the rift between his parents that had never closed.

  The following day, she posted her first loss. It was small, four percent, but it was enough to garner some notice.

  “Glad to see you’re human,” said Ulrich, who made a rare appearance at her office door.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. It happens.”

  “Even to the best of us,” he said with a pleasant smile before leaving. No, not to him or Johanne, Danielle knew. She hadn’t seen either men post a loss since she’d arrived. Sometimes fractional gains, but it was on the right black side of the line, not the red.

  “It’s the subconscious guilt making itself known,” Lani told her that night. Danielle dismissed the comment, only later feeling an uneasiness that Lani’s words had an element of truth.

  When Andre called, she hesitated picking up the phone. Talking to him is a bad idea. It’s not making it any easier. On the fourth ring, she clicked her cell phone with a jerk.

  “Hi beautiful,” he greeted her. Danielle melted at his words and intonation. This time, she told him ab
out her own college pregnancy, her boyfriend leaving the school and her when he learned the news. She would have been a single mother, but a miscarriage at month five ended the ordeal.

  “My doctors told me it was a fluke I’d become pregnant and that I don’t have the ability to carry a baby full term.” Had a committed relationship with Andre been on her agenda, she would have told him this early on, before they’d gotten serious. As it was, the point was moot. Still, it felt good. Andre applauded her desire to have the child, even if meant being a single mother.

  “It never occurred to me to do otherwise.”

  The following day, Danielle arrived at work earlier than usual, triple checked her analysis prior to making her trades and despite all that, had fallen well into negative numbers by noon. Only a few lightning speed trades got her above the black line before the markets closed.

  The moment she saw the last employee leave, she called Lani. “You are going to be infinitely relieved when this is over, as hard as the conversation will be,” Lani said.

  “Do you agree with Stephen? That he’ll wait?”

  “No,” Lani answered, her voice softer. “He’s a man. Men don’t think straight all the time, despite what Stephen says. And you,” she continued, sighing. “I’m not sure you’ll be sane if you see him at a club all intimate with another person.”

  “I can handle it Lani. I’m a professional.”

  Determined to get her focus and numbers back under control, Danielle shut out every distraction on Wednesday, texting Andre that she had meetings back to back, then research and an early morning. He wrote back he loved her and they’d talk the following day. Her reward was ending the day up thirty-three percent. That night, she spoke with Andre on the phone, but explained her numbers were down, the anxiety in her voice clear to them both. She doubled her efforts Friday, feeling a modest thrill of victory when she hit a milestone. Two billion under management for gold, over one with currency. She didn’t have a bell to ring or horn to shout, so she did the equivalent. She decided to hit up the gelato stand around the corner.