His parents had each married and divorced so many times he’d forgotten that musical partners wasn’t a normal state of being. He wondered about her ex-husband. Was the man still in her life? Did he see his children? The thought was oddly unsettling.
‘‘How long have you been divorced?’’ he asked.
Beth stared at him. ‘‘I’m not. I’m a widow. My husband died eighteen months ago.’’ Her smile was sad. ‘‘Until then, we were one of the lucky ones. Our marriage was very happy.’’
Todd didn’t know what to say. ‘‘I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.’’
A widow? Beth? He looked at her, at her pretty face and bright red hair. In his mind, widows were elderly women all dressed in black. She still had school-age children. She wasn’t supposed to have a husband die on her. He couldn’t say why finding out about her being a widow was so startling, but it was. He didn’t like the information.
Divorce he could handle, but death was very different. Her marriage hadn’t ended because she’d fallen out of love with her husband, or he with her, but because he’d been taken from her.
She released her glass and pressed her fingertips against her cheeks. ‘‘I still miss him. Isn’t that silly? But I do. It was unexpected. A car accident.’’
She gave him more information than he wanted. ‘‘You loved him.’’ It wasn’t a question.
She straightened. ‘‘Of course. I’d married him. We had two children together.’’
Love. He heard about the emotion. Every time one of his parents married someone new, they swore it was true love which would last a lifetime. Instead, the relationships generally lasted about two years. Then there were the loud fights, the accusations. Months later, he got a phone call saying the divorce was final. A year later, an invitation to another wedding.
‘‘How long were you married?’’ he asked.
‘‘Nearly eighteen years.’’
That was practically a lifetime. He wasn’t sure he knew anyone who had been married that long. His parents’ marriage had lasted nearly five years and the entire family thought that was a great accomplishment. What did people talk about year after year? How did they coexist without making each other crazy?
‘‘I don’t think you drove all the way out to my house to talk about my widowhood,’’ Beth said. ‘‘So why are you here?’’
He was still reeling from finding out she was a widow. It took him a moment to remember what had motivated him to walk out on his meeting and drive down to see a woman who by all rights he should have forgotten the moment their date ended.
‘‘While the flowers were very nice, I wanted to hear your apology in person.’’
Beth blushed the color of the tomatoes ripening on the windowsill above the sink. She closed her eyes tightly and ducked her head. ‘‘I swear I’ve never done anything like that before in my life, and I’m never going to do it again.’’ She looked at him. ‘‘Really. I’m a nice person. I have good manners, I tip great, I have taught my children to write thank-you notes for presents. I can’t believe I just walked out on you like that.’’
‘‘Me, either.’’
‘‘It was just—’’She waved her hands in the air, then slapped them on the tabletop. ‘‘I couldn’t stay. Everything was wrong. The people at the restaurant were so rich and sophisticated. I felt like they were laughing and pointing. I thought you were bored and hoping to end the evening early. And no, I’m not pushing responsibility on everyone but myself. I didn’t like the idea of a date from the beginning. I let myself be talked into it. I should have listened to my instincts and told you the truth. I don’t usually mess up this badly. I apologize for my behavior and I’m very sorry if you were embarrassed or in any way inconvenienced by what I did. I mean that.’’
Sincerity softened her mouth and darkened her eyes. Despite her age, her lengthy marriage and having had two kids, she obviously hadn’t learned how to hide what she was thinking. He found he liked that quality.
‘‘I accept your apology. The flowers were a nice touch. No one has ever sent them to me before.’’
Beth smiled. ‘‘I thought about baking you cookies, but that seemed so motherish.’’
He tried to remember if his mother, or any of his stepmothers, had ever bothered baking cookies. He thought not. Several of the housekeepers had baked, but that wasn’t the same thing.
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. The front of her T-shirt gaped a little, but the neck was too high to show off any cleavage. Todd found himself hoping for a hint of exposed curve.
‘‘So was it too horrible when I didn’t come back?’’ she asked.
He shook his head. ‘‘I told the waiter there had been a sudden illness in the family.’’
‘‘I’m sure he believed you. After all, you’re not the kind of guy who gets stood up much.’’
Rather than agreeing, he took a drink of his iced tea. ‘‘Can I reimburse you for the drinks?’’
Her unexpected question nearly made him spit. Irritation sharpened his voice. ‘‘I understand that you weren’t willing to spend an evening in my company, but please don’t insult me further.’’
Beth hunched forward as if he’d threatened her physically. ‘‘I’m doing this all wrong. Please, Todd, I wasn’t trying to be insulting. I really do feel badly about everything. I’m trying to make it better, but I see I’m just making it worse. Obviously I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house with a member of the opposite sex until I take a remedial course on how to deal with men.’’
Her discomfort eased his annoyance. He found himself leaning forward, as well, getting closer to her…wanting to touch her. ‘‘The class isn’t a bad idea. You’re really out of practice. I shudder to think how you would have trampled on my ego if this had been a real date.’’
‘‘Maybe you could write a book on the subject. After all, you have the experience.’’
He grinned. ‘‘Too many women would want to be mentioned in the dedication. There wouldn’t be room for actual text.’’
‘‘I see.’’ Beth smiled at him. ‘‘You’re much nicer than I thought you would be. I like that in a man. So, have you ever been married?’’
Her question, on the heels of her compliment, left him fumbling for words. Normally he knew exactly what a woman was going to say at any given moment, yet Beth caught him off guard on a regular basis.
‘‘Not even once,’’ he told her. ‘‘My parents have made marrying, divorcing and then marrying again something of a second business. I’ve lost track of their combined number of marriages, but as of three or four years ago I’d had about thirty-six step-or half siblings. I keep in touch with a few of them, but not many. There are some I can’t even remember.’’
‘‘Wow. The rich really are different.’’ Beth tilted her head. ‘‘I can’t relate to that, except maybe from watching Dynasty on television. Do you remember that show?’’
He shook his head. He loved how the afternoon light filtered in through the window and caught her hair. The dark red brightened like fire coming to life. He noticed she had tiny lines by her eyes. They crinkled when she smiled and he wanted to trace them.
‘‘The Carringtons were this really rich family. Several of them and their friends got married a lot. It was interesting but nothing like my life.’’ She took another sip of tea. ‘‘I met Darren—my husband—in high school. Both of our families were completely boring. No second or third marriages. Darren was a couple of years older than me and we got married when I was nineteen. I worked to help put him through his last year of college and then through graduate school.’’
She continued talking about Darren’s job as a geochemical engineer for a Houston-based oil company. Todd realized that her life sounded as strange to him as his had been to her. He’d never known a woman who worked to put her husband through college. He thought that only happened in the movies. What would have made her do that? Love? Did it really exist? He had his doubts.
‘‘Tell m
e about your children,’’ he said when she paused. She straightened and her whole face took on a glow. ‘‘They’re wonderful. They’ve been terrific since they lost their dad. Jodi is sixteen, and a junior in high school. She’s brilliant and beautiful.’’ Beth fingered her bangs. ‘‘She has my red hair. Matt is fourteen and he takes after his dad. Brown hair, brown eyes and glasses. He’s my little man.’’ Her mouth turned up in a smile. ‘‘When I got home early on Friday, Matt wanted to know if something bad had happened. There he was, all long legs and too-big feet, ready to defend my honor. I love them both. They’ve been a blessing to me. I don’t think I would have survived Darren’s death without them. They gave me a reason to keep on living.’’
Todd didn’t know what to do with the information she’d given him. He was used to being the object of adoration in any relationship. Women wanted and he gave. From the looks of things, Beth didn’t need anything he had to offer. Not that he was interested in having a relationship with her. The contrasts were intriguing, but not significant.
She glanced at her watch. ‘‘It’s nearly four o’clock. I’m sure I’m keeping you from important work.’’
‘‘Just a meeting. I walked out without saying where I was going. I’m sure everyone is in a panic right about now.’’
‘‘You sound happy.’’
‘‘It keeps them on their toes. Sometimes I’m too predictable.’’
She shook her head. ‘‘I can think of several words with which to describe you, but ‘predictable’ isn’t one of them.’’ That pleased him. He finished his iced tea.
‘‘Would you like some more?’’ she asked. ‘‘I also have some cookies. Peanut butter, and chocolate chip.’’
‘‘Homemade?’’
She filled his glass with ice, then poured in more tea. ‘‘Of course. They taste better and they’re cheaper.’’
That got his attention. She was a widow with two children. Was money a problem? He remembered her concern about prices at the restaurant on Saturday, then he glanced around the room and wished he knew enough about residential real estate to be able to estimate the value of the house. He could price commercial buildings in the loop to within a penny per square foot, but this market was beyond him.
Had Darren left her a decent insurance policy? He wanted to ask, but it wasn’t his business.
Beth set a plate of cookies in front of him. He took one of each and ate them. ‘‘Perfect,’’ he announced.
‘‘Jodi made the peanut butter ones, and I did the chocolate chip. I’m not expecting you to claim a favorite.’’
‘‘Definitely the chocolate chip.’’
‘‘Liar.’’ But she was smiling as she made her charge. Smiling in a way that made him want to sit at her table for a long time, just listening to her talk about her life. There was something to be said for simple pleasures shared with a woman close to his age. Why hadn’t he ever dated someone like her?
‘‘We should finish our date,’’ he said impulsively. ‘‘You barely tasted your drink and we didn’t have dinner. Let’s go out some night. I promise to do a better job of picking a restaurant. There won’t be any bone marrow flan in sight.’’
She was still standing and took a step back as he made his request. She folded her arms over her chest in a protective gesture. ‘‘It’s really nice of you to ask, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m not ready to get involved. I mean, to go out. I don’t think you’d want to get involved with me. Why would you? Actually, we don’t have anything in common. I know that. You’re being kind and I appreciate it. But the two different worlds thing…my kids, your busy schedule. It just isn’t a good idea.’’
She was babbling. Todd told himself she didn’t know what she was saying and that he shouldn’t take any of it personally, even though it was damn hard not to.
They stared at each other for a full minute while Todd tried to think of some way to respond to her assorted statements. Beth jumped in to fill the silence.
‘‘It’s me,’’ she said. ‘‘I’m not your type. I’m too old, almost forty and not attractive enough. I mean, I think I’m fine compared with, well, you know, regular women. But you date model types. They’re so skinny and young and I’ve had children. Two.’’
She took another step back, bumped into the wet bar and came to a stop. ‘‘To be honest, I’m busy that night.’’
This time there was no way to tell himself not to take it personally. She’d been doing fine…right up to her fatal mistake. ‘‘I didn’t suggest a specific night.’’
Beth could feel the heat flaring on her face. Her skin felt like it was on fire. She could only imagine what incredibly bright color of red stained her cheeks. Talk about putting her foot in her mouth. The worst part was she hadn’t meant to be insulting or rude or whatever else Todd was thinking of her. She just couldn’t figure out why he was being so nice. He wasn’t really interested in her, so she was simply trying to give him a polite out. What was that old saying? No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.
None of this made sense. She didn’t know why he’d shown up at her house or why he was asking her out again. Everything she’d told him was the truth. Especially the part about them having nothing in common. Although, if she was honest with herself, she sort of wished they did. Todd looked really great sitting in her kitchen. Just being close to him made her heart act as if she was in the high-intensity portion of a step aerobics class at the gym.
It wasn’t just that he was good-looking, although that was certainly true. It was that she liked being with him. He was a nice guy. She hadn’t spent much time in the company of men in the past eighteen months and she’d missed that. Since Darren had died, Todd was the first single man to actually have a conversation with her.
Speaking of which, she owned him another apology. ‘‘I didn’t mean anything bad by what I said. I don’t understand why you’re asking me out. I wish I did. You’re a great guy and it’s not that I don’t like being with you—I do.’’
‘‘So what’s the problem?’’ he asked.
A reasonable question, to which she had no reasonable answer. If only she didn’t feel so quivery around him. ‘‘While you make me incredibly nervous, I also feel really comfortable around you. I think I can say anything and you’ll understand. Do you know how much trouble that means? As you’ve already noticed, I have a great talent for saying the wrong thing. I would spend all my time apologizing. That would get old.’’
‘‘Not for me,’’ Todd said. ‘‘You are the least boring woman I’ve ever met.’’
She beamed. ‘‘Thank you.’’ While she would have preferred he said she was stunningly beautiful and incredibly sexy, she would settle for least boring, even if the compliment sounded a little too close to ‘‘best of breed’’ at a dog show.
He rose to his feet. He was a couple of inches taller than Darren, maybe six feet or six one. As he moved toward her, the kitchen started shrinking. Her throat tightened. Unfamiliar heat rose in her body and she didn’t know whether to bolt or strip.
‘‘You owe me, Beth,’’ he said when he was a scant foot away from her. ‘‘You ran out on me and now you owe me a date. I’m the kind of man who collects what’s due him, so don’t think you’re going to get out of this one.’’
He was so…demanding and manly. She was embarrassed to find herself shivering, and not in horror. And to think she’d never liked the he-man type. Still, there was something to be said for masterful.
‘‘But I—”
He held up his hand to stop her in midsentence. ‘‘This Saturday night you and I are going out. I won’t take no for an answer.’’
‘‘I can’t,’’ she said. ‘‘I have too much to do.’’
He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘‘Try a different line. That one’s not working.’’
‘‘It’s not a line. I have to plant flowers in the morning, help with concessions at Matt’s baseball game in the middle of the day. At four o’clock is a pool party for several o
f his friends. By seven in the evening, I’ll be little more than a tired, sweaty puddle. I don’t think you’d be very interested in taking me out then.’’
His gaze narrowed.
‘‘I’m not lying,’’ she insisted, mostly because she wasn’t. Some Saturdays were brutal.
‘‘I’m out of town on Friday,’’ he said, ‘‘So we can’t do it then. It has to be Saturday.’’
It didn’t have to be anything at all, Beth thought, but she found she sort of liked the idea of Todd insisting on taking her out. It was very romantic. ‘‘Tell you what. You come with me for the day. If you can get through all of that and still want to go out to dinner, I’ll put on my best dress, even though you’ve already seen it, and we’ll head out to the restaurant of your choice. But I’m willing to bet money you’ll be too exhausted to think about dates or dinners.’’
‘‘You’re on,’’ he said and held out his hand.
She slipped her palm next to his. His skin was warm and tempting and she found herself sort of leaning toward him. Todd Graham was a very tempting man. It was like being by the tiger exhibit at the zoo. The cats were so beautiful you wanted to be in the cage with them, even though you knew that they would simply see you as lunch. Todd was dangerous. She had no business letting him into her life. Still, it was too late to back out now. And it was only for one day.
He glanced at his watch. ‘‘I need to get back to my office,’’ he said.
She led him to the front door.
‘‘Saturday,’’ he told her. ‘‘What time should I be here?’’
‘‘Eight in the morning.’’
‘‘Fine.’’
He stared at her. His gaze dipped to her mouth and she had the sudden thought he was going to kiss her. She held in the squeak that formed at the back of her throat, thought about praying but didn’t know what to pray for, so she settled on waiting. When he opened the front door and stalked out without saying a word, she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. The only thing she knew for sure was that Saturday was going to be one interesting day.
Beth and the Bachelor Page 5