Beth and the Bachelor

by Susan Mallery

  ‘‘Thanks for telling me.’’ Todd was pleased by the boy’s acceptance. ‘‘I remember what we talked about before. I don’t want to hurt her. I think she’s very special.’’

  ‘‘I’m glad.’’

  Matt’s coach called his name. ‘‘I gotta go,’’ he said.

  ‘‘I hope to see you soon,’’ Todd told him. ‘‘I’m going to visit with your mom for a while. Maybe ask her out.’’

  Matt grinned. ‘‘Good luck.’’

  Todd headed for the stands. Beth saw him and stood up, then walked down to meet him on the dirt pathway.

  ‘‘I didn’t think you were serious about driving out to Matt’s game,’’ she said when she reached him. ‘‘He’s not even playing today.’’

  ‘‘I wanted to make sure that he was feeling better. And I wanted to see you.’’

  She was in her uniform of a T-shirt and shorts. Most of the other mothers were dressed the same, but he didn’t find them nearly as attractive as Beth. Her exposed bare legs made him remember their evening together, how she’d sat on his lap, straddling his hips.

  She was an amazing person, and not just because she made him want her in less than thirty seconds of actual face-to-face conversation. He liked how she cared about her kids and the way she looked at him directly, without trying to hide or play games. Not that he objected to her full breasts or pretty face. He glanced up to confirm his theory that she was the most beautiful woman here, when he noticed they were the object of more interest than the baseball game.

  Todd took her arm and led her around behind the stands. ‘‘How much gossip did I just create?’’ he asked.

  ‘‘We won’t make the six o’clock news, but tongues will be wagging on street corners.’’

  ‘‘I’m sorry,’’ he told her. ‘‘I didn’t mean to make trouble. I really did just want to say hi to Matt and spend a couple of minutes with you.’’

  ‘‘You drove all the way down here for a ten-minute visit?’’

  ‘‘Why are you surprised?’’

  She shrugged. ‘‘I just am.’’

  Mindful of the interested audience not that far away, he lightly touched her cheek. ‘‘I want to see you again.’’

  ‘‘So you’ve told me every time you’ve called.’’

  ‘‘You’ve never said yes.’’

  She smiled. ‘‘You’ve never given me a specific date or time.’’

  Hadn’t he? No wonder she hadn’t been enthusiastic about going out with him. He was so smitten, he was forgetting all the important stuff. ‘‘Saturday morning. I want to show you my world. We’ll make it an all-day affair.’’

  ‘‘Interesting choice of words. ‘Affair.’’’ She glanced down at her hands, then cleared her throat.

  He could tell she was nervous…and he knew exactly how to fix the situation. ‘‘I know what you’re worried about,’’ he said.

  ‘‘Oh, I doubt that.’’

  ‘‘After what happened the last time we were together, you’re afraid I’m going to want to make love with you.’’ She blanched and took a step back. ‘‘Yes, well, maybe you do know what’s been on my mind.’’

  He touched her chin until she looked at him. ‘‘I want to,’’ he told her. ‘‘Very much. But I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable. You matter to me, Beth. I want it to be right. While you tempted me beyond measure the last time we were together, I was concerned that we’d gone too far, too fast. I won’t rush you.’’

  ‘‘You’re saying you’ll wait.’’

  ‘‘For as long as you need me to.’’

  ‘‘Why? You probably don’t wait with the other women you’ve dated.’’

  She wasn’t asking a question, he thought, but she didn’t have to. She knew him pretty well. ‘‘Because they don’t usually matter. You do.’’

  ‘‘This is guy thing, isn’t it? In theory, I’m important so you won’t sleep with me. They’re not important, so you will? That doesn’t make sense.’’

  ‘‘It’s not a guy thing, it’s a Beth thing. I don’t want to scare you off, and to be honest, I’m enjoying this slower pace. I want to get to know you. If you and I ever become lovers, I want it to mean something to both of us.’’

  She’d managed to get through almost the entire conversation without blushing. Todd watched her jump when he said the word lovers. Color followed instantly.

  She didn’t look convinced. He didn’t know how else to make it clear. He’d told her the truth—she was special and deserved more than a quick affair. He wanted it to be more…which was something he’d never thought he would feel. While he wouldn’t admit it to her, he was also willing to wait because he didn’t know how much more it was going to be. He had a bad feeling that once they became intimate, it would be more difficult, if not impossible, for him to walk away. And isn’t that what he always did?

  ‘‘Is it because I’m old?’’ she asked.

  He groaned. Despite the interested bystanders who were straining to watch them, he pulled her close. ‘‘Do you remember the last time I was at your house?’’ he murmured into her ear. ‘‘Do you remember what we did on your sofa?’’

  She nodded.

  ‘‘I was so hard, I thought I was going to explode right there with you rubbing against me. Guys can’t fake getting hard. That was all because of you.’’

  She looked at him. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. ‘‘Really?’’

  ‘‘Yeah, really. I want you. But as much as I want you naked, first I want you comfortable with your clothes on.’’ He drew her earlobe into his mouth and nibbled gently. She shivered.

  ‘‘Do you believe me,’’ he asked, ‘‘or do I have to be more convincing?’’

  ‘‘Oh, I believe you,’’ she said.

  He gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. ‘‘Saturday morning, bright and early. I’ll be there at eight. Dress casual and pack fancy. We’ll be going to a party that night.’’

  ‘‘Great. It’s been a long time since I went to a hoe-down. It’ll be fun to see how the other half lives.’’

  ‘‘You’ll like it,’’ he promised.

  She didn’t look convinced. ‘‘What time should I tell my kids I’ll be home?’’

  ‘‘Sunday around noon,’’ he teased.

  She put her hands on her hips. ‘‘Be serious.’’

  ‘‘Not much past midnight. I don’t want you turning back into a pumpkin. See you then.’’

  He walked toward his car. Before he could get there, Beth called his name and hurried after him. She caught up with him and wrapped her arms around him. ‘‘Thanks for everything,’’ she said.

  ‘‘I didn’t do anything.’’

  She smiled. ‘‘You’ve done more than you know.’’

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘‘This was a great idea,’’ Beth told Cindy as they wandered through the clothing displayed in the elegant boutique. ‘‘I didn’t know what I was going to do about a dress for the party Todd wants to take me to on Saturday. Knowing him, it’s going to be expensive and exclusive. My budget doesn’t allow for designer originals.’’

  Cindy held up a beautiful, beaded black dress. ‘‘Sure it does. Just not dresses that are new this season.’’

  Beth nodded her agreement. At Cindy’s suggestion they were shopping at a resale shop that specialized in designer clothing. The prices were still high enough to make Beth wince, but probably a quarter of what the clothes had been originally. The location—close to the exclusive upper-crast neighborhood of River Oaks—guaranteed quality as well as a fair-size selection.

  ‘‘My only fear,’’ she said as she picked up a rust-colored dress with sheer sleeves and a fitted bodice, ‘‘is that I’ll run into the woman who sold the dress to the shop in the first place.’’

  Cindy held up a bright pink pantsuit. Beth groaned and shook her head. Cindy laughed. ‘‘Don’t worry about that,’’ her friend told her. ‘‘No female is going to publicly admit she’s been selling her clothes.
She wouldn’t want people to think her husband couldn’t support her.’’

  ‘‘I guess. Of course she could tell all her close friends and they could spend the evening pointing and laughing.’’

  ‘‘That’s what I like about you, Beth. You always manage to put such a positive spin on things.’’

  Beth sighed. ‘‘You’re right. I’m being negative. I’m sorry. It’s just this whole situation has me nervous.’’ She handed the rust dress to the clerk to take to the dressing room. ‘‘I had a long talk with myself the other night and I realized I’ve been hiding behind my past. I need to move forward in my life. If I want to stay by myself for a few more years, that’s a perfectly acceptable decision. If I want to think about dating, that’s fine, too.’’

  Cindy flipped through a round rack, pausing at a couple of dresses, but not showing any to Beth. ‘‘Sounds logical and sensible. So what’s the problem?’’

  ‘‘I want to continue believing that there’s only one love for each of us,’’ Beth said, remembering the long night of soul-searching. ‘‘Then I could dismiss my attraction to Todd and everything else going on. But I know too many people who have learned to love again.’’

  ‘‘I’m glad you’re letting that go.’’

  ‘‘I’m not glad,’’ Beth said unhappily. ‘‘Now I have to figure out why I’m still terrified. Some of it is getting back into the whole dating thing again. It’s harder now than it used to be. I have responsibilities to my children. I’m a grown-up. I don’t think I want to fall in love again. It was great as a teenager, but I remember a lot of pain being involved.’’

  Cindy showed her a black dress. Beth studied the simple lines and nodded her approval. ‘‘Make sure it’s a size twelve. There aren’t very many. Apparently most of the rich women around here are also tiny, which I really hate. I would promise to go back on my diet and lose a quick twenty, but I don’t think I can do that in three days.’’

  ‘‘I know what you mean,’’ her friend told her. ‘‘Not about the twenty pounds, but about the rest of it. When I was first getting to know Mike and there was an obvious attraction, I was terrified. I thought all men left, so I wasn’t about to commit myself again. Mike didn’t help things by being in a profession that forced him to travel constantly. I still remember the shock of learning everything he owned could fit in a couple of duffel bags.’’

  ‘‘So how did you survive?’’

  ‘‘I didn’t have a choice. Like you, I had two kids and a job. I had to cope with my feelings for Mike. I fooled myself for a long time. I told myself I didn’t really care about him except as a friend. Then I realized I would rather have loved him, even for a short time, than to have let him walk away without taking a chance. Yes, falling in love is sometimes painful, but it’s also a glorious way to feel alive.’’

  Beth thought about what her friend had said. ‘‘I haven’t felt alive in a long time,’’ she admitted. ‘‘Even before Darren died, there were times when I was just going through the motions.’’

  She found one more dress, this one in dark cobalt blue, and nodded at the salesclerk. ‘‘I think I’m ready to start trying things on,’’ she said.

  Cindy followed her toward the rear of the boutique. There were only two dressing rooms, but both were large, with three-way mirrors and soft lighting. Cindy sat down on the gilded chair in the corner and took Beth’s handbag.

  ‘‘I came prepared,’’ Beth said after closing the door. She quickly stepped out of her jeans and shirt. Underneath she wore a black strapless bra and panty hose. ‘‘There are a pair of black pumps in that shopping bag.’’ She pointed to the one at Cindy’s feet. ‘‘Could you get those out? If a dress looks okay, I want to try it on with the shoes.’’

  ‘‘Good thinking.’’

  Beth tried on the rust colored dress first. The long sleeves were too short for her and the whole thing didn’t hang right. As she pulled down the zipper, she said, ‘‘I’m going to do what you suggested. I’m going to go out with Todd for a while and practice on him. It’s the only way I can think of to protect myself from getting hurt.’’

  ‘‘You could not go out at all,’’ Cindy said softly.

  Beth met her gaze in the mirror. ‘‘Yes, well, I thought of that, too.’’

  ‘‘But you want to keep seeing him.’’

  Beth exhaled slowly, then reached for the shortsleeved black dress. There were shiny jet beads scattered across the front of the crepe fabric. ‘‘As much as I hate to admit it, yeah, I do. I like him. He’s a decent guy, which surprises me. He’s also good-looking and fun to be with.’’ She thought about how great it was when they kissed, but figured she didn’t need to discuss that with Cindy.

  ‘‘So what’s the problem?’’

  ‘‘That I might start to care. I don’t know how to date someone. I’ve spent my entire adult life married. There are so many potentially awkward moments.’’ She thought about when she and Todd had been making out on the sofa and he drew her across his lap so she could straddle him. She’d felt like a beached whale—large and lacking in grace.

  ‘‘With Darren, we’d done everything a hundred times. Every movement was choreographed. For some people that would be boring, but I like the idea of a comfortable relationship. I want to know what to expect.’’

  ‘‘You can find that in time.’’

  Beth stepped into the dress and let Cindy zip her up. She stared at the short sleeves, which fell midway between her shoulders and her elbows. ‘‘I didn’t know it was possible for a sleeve that length to be unflattering, but I was wrong,’’ she said. Something about the cut made her arms look shapeless. ‘‘Apparently I don’t have a body that works with designer clothing.’’

  ‘‘Don’t give up,’’ Cindy told her. ‘‘You have several more things to try on. You know it’s always an effort to find nice stuff.’’

  ‘‘I know. Everything good is work.’’ She handed the dress to Cindy to put back on the hanger. ‘‘I wish Darren hadn’t died. We had a good life together.’’

  ‘‘You’re just afraid to try again.’’

  Beth looked at her friend. ‘‘Weren’t you?’’

  ‘‘Of course. I resisted for ages. If Mike hadn’t practically fallen into my lap, I would probably still be resisting.’’

  Beth understood the feeling. While she liked Todd and wanted to keep seeing him, a part of her kept whispering that it would be so much easier to return to her regularly scheduled life. This dating thing was highly overrated.

  The cobalt blue silk dress slipped against her skin with a cool softness. Beth shivered with delight as she dropped it over her head. ‘‘If this one doesn’t look good on me, I might buy it to sleep in. The fabric is wonderful.’’

  The tailored column dress had a deep vee in front. Silk skimmed over her breasts and hips, creating an illusion of a trim waist and sensuous curves. The full-length skirt had a slit higher than Beth liked, but the angle was such that as she took a mock step, her exposed leg looked long and lean.

  ‘‘Wow, it makes me feel like I have decent thighs,’’ she said. ‘‘That would be a first.’’

  ‘‘You look great,’’ Cindy agreed. ‘‘The color does amazing things to your eyes. They’re practically glowing.’’ Beth glanced at the price tag and groaned. Even secondhand, it was over three hundred dollars.

  ‘‘Which means it was probably over fifteen hundred new,’’ Cindy said. ‘‘I know it’s a lot of money, but it looks great.’’

  Beth stared at her reflection in the mirror. ‘‘I don’t think my wedding gown cost this much,’’ she murmured, ‘‘but I really like it.’’

  She turned around and glanced over her shoulder to get the rear view. ‘‘My butt’s not too bad.’’

  Her clothing budget allowed for impulsive purchases, although not usually ones this expensive. But she hadn’t bought herself any clothes so far this year and she didn’t think she was going to need much more than a couple of pairs of new shorts for
the summer.

  ‘‘I’m rationalizing,’’ she admitted. ‘‘I want to buy the dress. Some of it is because I know I’ll feel great in it, and some of it is because I want to impress Todd. Dumb, huh?’’ Cindy shook her head. ‘‘Both ideas make perfect sense. The dress is a classic. You can wear it again when you’re invited somewhere fancy.’’

  Beth wanted to ask how often that really happened, but she was already so close to buying it. She faced front again. With her hair fluffed and the right makeup, she would knock Todd’s socks off. Especially since the last time he’d seen her, she’d been all hot and sweaty at Matt’s baseball game. Before that, she’d been home caring for a sick kid. Neither impression had been very positive.

  ‘‘This will make him sorry he doesn’t want to see me naked,’’ she murmured, then clamped her hand over her mouth. Has she really said that out loud?

  Cindy’s eyes widened. ‘‘Excuse me? What was that?’’

  ‘‘I… That is… Damn!’’ Beth took a deep breath. ‘‘I wasn’t going to talk about this.’’

  ‘‘Sorry, but you don’t get a choice now. I want details. Start at the beginning and talk slowly.’’

  ‘‘There isn’t much to say.’’ Beth slipped into her high heels and studied her reflection. The shoes made her legs look even better. It was going to be worth suffering through the viselike grip of control-top panty hose and sore feet from high heels.

  ‘‘Todd told me he wasn’t interested in having sex with me.’’

  Cindy shook her head. ‘‘Uh-uh. No way I’m going to believe those words passed his lips.’’

  Beth shrugged. ‘‘He said that he was willing to wait until I was comfortable with my clothes on. Then we would talk about getting them off. I think it’s an excuse. He doesn’t want to see me naked. Not that I blame him.’’

  Cindy covered her face with her hands and groaned. ‘‘You make me want to kill you. Of course he wants to have sex with you. He’s just trying to be a nice guy. Give him credit for that.’’