The City and the Dungeon

by Matthew Schmidt

  "Sheesh," you said. The words more of a sarcastic cover for true fear. "Overreaction much?"

  "In the Dungeon, there's no such thing. Please. Don't. I'm not kidding that I could have just killed you."

  You were silent for a time. "Just visit more often, OK? You'll feel better. And this sort of thing wouldn't happen if we knew about it."

  "That's not the point," I said. "I have to keep delving to survive. I'm eating violet. That's an insane amount of crystal. I can't even describe how insane. I could retire for—maybe a year. More if I sold stuff. Then back down again. And my party needs me—I'm sure they won't retire. Elise especially."

  You had listened patiently up to the point where you moved your hand, stopped, then slammed the floor with your cane instead. "Ugh. This isn't that difficult. If you have to do it, then do it."

  "But why?" I asked. "What does it mean any more?"

  "Why doesn't it mean something? You're rich and powerful, and you've got a great friendly party. And a greater friendly family, which you should visit more often."

  "I know, I know, but..." I told you about Ivan's. "I can't live that way. I don't know if I can live this way. Power for the sake of power. Even the labydules have it better than I."

  "Then take up labyrinthodula."

  "I can't just worship the Dungeon, just because—" I cut myself off. "Well, labydules don't worship the Dungeon per se."

  "Great! You can split theological hairs. Already halfway there to a new religion."

  I sighed. "It doesn't work that way. Elise and Andy both really believe. I don't."

  "Elise?" You asked. "You mentioned her before. A girl in your party?"

  "Don't even think about it," I said. "She's not interested in me."

  "Hmm. You sound awfully defensive."

  "It's..."

  "Hmm," you went louder. "There's another one, isn't there. A girl you are hot on."

  I was too speechless to reply.

  "Oh, ho, ho. Now we see the real issue. You're pining after a girl. Who is she?" When I didn't reply, you began poking me. "Spill it! Spill it!"

  "Alice Black," I said. "The Alice Black."

  "She's famous? Oh, let me guess, she's your superior."

  "Basically. She's an actual member of the Black family. I'm just a liegeman."

  "And she's pretty? And smart?"

  "1,000 Charisma and Wisdom. She is literally the wisest and most beautiful a human being can be," I said. "She also transforms into a four-winged, four-headed being covered with eyes. And she has a wheel covered with her own eyes, too."

  "Are they pretty eyes? Do they wink at you?"

  "No, I don't... Well, she did once. But—but I don't think she's interested in me," I said. It was so painful to say, even my Charisma could not stop me from stumbling over words.

  "Hmm? I don't think you really believe that."

  "But I do—"

  You slammed your cane into the ground even harder. "No, you think there's something there. Why?"

  "She does tend to come with us on delves, I admit. Actually... She came with us to the 50th, which is the deadliest floor in the Deep. OK, the Core delve, too, but it was with a superparty."

  "There you go," you said, satisfied. "She's probably telling her sister that she's feeling a little attracted to a certain cute liegeboy."

  The thought of her having girl talk with Adrianne was too bizarre to picture. Let alone if it was about me. "But I don't think she's interested. That interested."

  "Really?" you said. "What would happen if you just asked her out?"

  "I might be expelled? No. The Black family is better than that. She might..." The thought was too awful to complete.

  Not for you, though. "Reject you? Oh, no, whatever you would you do? Alex, if a girl doesn't want you, what's wrong with that? At least you asked her. Is she really so shallow that she'd freak if you just asked?"

  "Yeah. She's not. No way."

  "Then ask. You guys have to make it so complicated. She's a human being, too, you know. Except when she's a five winged eye-monster."

  "Four-winged. And not a monster, it's just a polymorph class."

  "Sure thing. You're already defensive about her."

  I sighed. "Thanks, Annabelle, but could you give me some time to think about this? It's..."

  "Sure," you said, and got up. "Any time. Any time you actually visit."

  * * *

  I have never felt so out of place at a party allegedly for me.

  The opulence seemed pathetic. Gold and silver everywhere, which I could have bought without a thought. Masterpieces of art, which I could find in the City for bargain prices. Guards who could not have survived the 2nd Floor. Food—OK, fine, the food was good.

  I perceived the vast parade of pretty girls in expense dresses who were interested in myself and anything thereof had a most specific purpose in mind. It wasn't unreasonable per se. Male delvers often take surfacer wives. But the girls’—or their parents’—strategy utterly failed for three reasons. Spending so long around high Charisma delvers made them look less seductive beauties and more overdecorated girls who would rather do anything but talk to me if they had any choice in the matter. That would be the second reason: I could tell none of them really cared, only being forced to pretend to do so.

  The third reason was that none of them were Alice Black.

  Noble after noble introduced themselves to me. I could only remember their names from high Intelligence, but as a purely banal series of facts. Yes, Baron Gaudi owned the gold mines. Why would that matter to me? I do not care.

  "My apologies for our lack of hospitality on such short notice," Duchess Maria told me. Another woman said to be so beautiful the stars would stop shining on her command. I guessed she was on the upper limit of natural Charisma, possibly in the twenties. "I hope the High House will not be offended."

  I assure you, the High House will not care in the slightest for any diplomatic faux pas with the upper class of a surfacer city that is not even the capital of its respective nation, I wished to say. I managed to instead say, "I believe they will be understanding."

  "If you need anything, anything at all, I have resources to help you," she said. Perhaps as a master politician, she hid her emotions well. But with high Wisdom I could sense the barest strain of some kind of hidden hope.

  But what I want she couldn't have provided, and nothing she could provide I didn't have already. What did fame or fortune matter to me, when I already possessed both? My utter lack of reaction must have disturbed her, so she made some trivial excuse and moved on.

  I turned to find yet another girl standing by me. "Hello," I said, and she turned bright pink, hid behind her fan, and stammered a reply. I take back what I said. I was the most gorgeous guy the girls had ever seen, and likely would ever see, in their lives. Some didn't care, I'm still sure, but I guessed there would be at least ten girls pining after a new crush that night. I didn't have the heart to tell them they didn't have a chance.

  And did Alice Black think the same way with me? Better not to think about that.

  I saw more than one guy flirt with Annabelle. I am amazed you didn't skewer them. Going soft, now?

  There was a delver there, yellow by aura. An ex-pat retiree, I think. If you didn't see us come together, it was that neither of us was particularly interested in talking to the other. Any stories he told of his valiant adventures in the upper Dungeon would be trumped by my survival of the lowest known Floor. Here he was part of the upper crust; in the City he was near middle class. No, better that we were happy ignoring each other.

  I sensed Katie Dodgson approach me, this time hesitantly. I turned. "Excuse me?" I asked.

  She was all dressed up in a ball gown and pearls. It occurred to me that the dress really was beautiful, but without any stat bonuses I would otherwise consider it worthless. She bent by my ear and whispered, "Um. How do you become a delver?"

  "You go to the City, go to the center, and touch the Cornerstone. That's it."


  "That's it?" she asked in disbelief. "No exams? Nothing?"

  "Nope," I said. "You can enter the Dungeon the moment you've got a heartstone. Mind you, it's incredibly dangerous."

  Mrs. Dodgson came and interrupted. "Now, now, have you told him about your..."

  She murmured some banality, and I replied with another; yet I saw a fire in her eyes. In retrospect, I hope I'm responsible for some wild plan to run off to the City. Not that she couldn't have learned this in a few moments from the yellow guy.

  You still there? thought Xavier. The thought was fainter, but definitely audible in my mind.

  Unfortunately. I'm stuck at a party.

  I'm going to have to crash it. You're needed. One moment.

  Xavier appeared in a flash behind me. Multiple people screamed, and the Dodgsons ran for it. "Don't worry!" I called. "Just my party mate."

  Mom pulled Annabelle along to me. "Are you going?"

  "Yes," I said. "I'm needed, apparently."

  I could see the Duchess trying to grab a hold on the situation. Perfect time to leave. Even more perfect as Xavier cast a Time Bubble around us. Everything outside seemed to freeze, and Mom grabbed Annabelle. "You have a minute," Xavier said. "Say goodbye, and try not to touch the edge."

  Bye, guys, I thought. I'll see you later.

  "What?" Annabelle said.

  Wait, she had heard me? I thought to them. You can hear my telepathy?

  "Yes," Mom said. "Very strange. Do you do this regularly?"

  "Regularly enough to do it by mistake," I said. Then inspiration struck. I sent a moment of my vision to Annabelle.

  "Huh," she said. "Is that what it's like? Weird."

  Mom hugged me. "You will be back, promise?"

  "Promise," I said instantly.

  "And you'll ask her out? Promise?" Annabelle said as I hugged her.

  "Promise," I said after a moment. "Bye."

  Xavier cast Return—and we were back home, inside the teleport chamber. Home? What a strange place that I had another than my family.

  And that I could never return to my old home.

  "Alex?" Xavier asked. "Ask her out?"

  Alice Black. I thought to him. I'm going to ask her out.

  Chapter Thirty-Two:

  Confession

  Xavier paused, his face going through several expressions. I would have been upset at you earlier, but not now.

  What do you mean, upset? I asked.

  I... had a crush on her. Never was going to do anything about it. But if you, brave soul, are going to try...

  How could I disappoint him, too? I'm going to do it. I thought firmly. "What's the crisis?" I asked out loud.

  "Shardgear," Xavier said. "We're going to have to testify in two days. Hagel wants us to prepare immediately."

  "It's been what, four days since the delve?" I asked. "I lost track."

  "The Blues magazine had a typo, mentioning some gear above violet. An awfully conspicuous typo, if you ask me. As if they were trying to leak it deliberately to boost sales." Xavier shrugged. "In any case, I. L. Darkness told a family member that he had a shardgear—and, well, was legally compelled to give it to her. So, here we are. Cat's out of the bag."

  "I wish Cat was in the bag," I said. "What does it even mean to steal shardgear?"

  "Yeah, that's why Hagel wants to talk to us. So we aren't branded kidnappers." Xavier stretched. "By the way—just so you know how bad it's gotten—that family member tried an R&R. It didn't work. They couldn't even fit the pieces together."

  "Dungeon." I couldn't even comprehend how awful it was.

  "The hope is that there's some spell deep enough that can turn shardgear back into shards. But..." Xavier looked up. "Hagel is going to get really upset if we don't get moving."

  * * *

  And yet, even as Hagel instructed us, and argued with us, I couldn't pay attention. What would I say, do, tell, give...

  * * *

  Alice Black held a book in her lap, but I could tell she wasn't reading it. I considered, reconsidered, considered again.

  I realized that if I waited any longer, I would lose my nerve. I walked up and took a chair. "Hey, can I talk to you?" I asked.

  "Sure," she said, and sat the book on the table. "What's up?"

  My plan had already been derailed by what I saw she was (not) reading Prismatic Draconians: A Delver's Guide. "I'm sorry about what happened," I said without thinking.

  "Sorry?" Alice Black asked.

  "Now that we know about shardgear. And where shards go."

  "I'm actually a little happier," Alice Black said, but I could tell it was a lie. "Now we know where to look."

  "Maybe there'll be another spell even deeper to convert shardgear back into shards," I said. "I mean, if it turns out that... I'm sorry."

  "What's on your mind?" Alice Black asked. "I appreciate that you care, but that isn't why you came to me."

  "Well, um, see..." My entire insides hurt. But if I didn't say anything, they would burst. "I, um, I, we, um, I, you, I really like—I—I mean—"

  "Believe me," Alice Black interrupted. "I know."

  "I'm sorry?" I asked.

  "You've had a crush on me since we've first met." She met my eyes. "It tends to happen when someone who isn't used to high Charisma sees someone who is."

  "Oh," I said. I looked down. "Oh. I'm sorry. Really sorry." I couldn't bear to be there any moment longer, and I moved to get up.

  But she held my hand instead, and no one was getting out of 1,000 strength. "Don't be. You've been the least jerkish about it that I've ever seen. I actually like you as a person."

  I sat back down. Could this conversation even be happening?

  "Don't get me wrong," Alice Black said. "You have more feelings for me than I have for you. I'm not saying... well, that it's impossible for something to happen. But...”

  "Someone has to love first," I said without thinking.

  "Precisely." She paused. "Listen. You've actually treated me as a person, and not as some goddess. Just keep doing that, all right?" At my face, she sighed. "I'm—you realize how rare it is that someone looks at me as something other than a rival, a potential wife, or a customer? You've had conversations with me—normal, ordinary conversations. I—I don't want to lose that. Not over romantic silliness."

  I had never seen her emotional or anything other than the invincible violet delver. Even after a botched revival and her causally wiping of the slayers, I saw her utterly unruffled. But how much was that her? It wasn't a shell—Alice Black really is an enormously mentally strong person. But she was still, no matter her levels, a human being. "All right. I... didn't mean to put any pressure on you or anything."

  "You're not," Alice Black said. "You're confessing your love in a way that didn't end in humiliation for everyone involved. Listen," she paused for a painfully long time. "Can't we just be friends? I want you as a friend."

  "I'll be honest," I said. "I want you as a friend, but also, um..."

  "I understand," she said. "Forget what I said. Just keep being you, and I'll keep being me."

  "Right," I said. "We can do that. Um, this is really, really awkward, but there's a custom where I'm from."

  "Yes?" Alice Black asked.

  "When a guy wants to start, well, courting a girl, he brings her a gift. So, I—I actually brought a gift for you. I didn't mean to—"

  Alice Black laughed. "Seriously, don't make this complicated. There's nothing wrong with giving a friend a gift."

  "Great," I said, and took out the bracelet.

  She took it, and I could feel her use her N-Type Greater Identify. It's actually a faux pas not to examine a gift while the giver is still there, just in case you don't have the stats. "'Deep Telepathy'? I've never heard—This is—where did you even find this?"

  "Personal drop from the 75th Boss," I said. "I didn't think I could find anything else worthy of you."

  "That's actually really touching," she said, and put it on. "Whoa. Did you ever
try this? Oh, wait, soulbound."

  "What's it like?"

  "I can see people's thoughts. Like, there're these clouds above their heads." She looked around. "On second thought, this might be better to leave off." She looked above my head, and I turned red. "Huh. You are really sincere. Did anyone ever tell you that?"