Lost Without Them

by Trista Ann Michaels

She looked hesitant at first as she stared at the horse. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I think I do.”

  Cody held his hand out, and she came toward him. He helped her place her boot in the stirrup, then climb onto the animal.

  “His name is Chestnut,” Cody said as the horse bobbed his head in reaction to her added weight.

  She took the reins in her left hand and patted Chestnut’s neck with her right. “That’s a nice name.”

  “Watch your foot, darlin’,” Cody said as he nudged her foot from the stirrup and put his in its place. Swinging his leg over the back of the horse, he climbed up behind her.

  She leaned to the left so she could turn slightly. “You’re going with me?”

  He settled his arms around her waist and took the reins in his hand. “Is that a problem?”

  He hoped not. He liked how she felt in his arms, the way her thighs rubbed against his as the horse sidestepped from the added weight.

  “No,” she whispered and quickly turned back to the front.

  Cody grinned slightly as he kicked Chestnut gently in the side, urging him out of the barn. Keegan felt stiff at first but slowly began to settle back against him as they made their way up a worn path. At the top of the hill was a nice spot that overlooked the house. It was where he planned to stop and show her the surroundings.

  “This isn’t uncomfortable on you, is it?” Cody asked. “On your stitches?”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s not bad. The fresh air and activity actually feels good. It’s so beautiful here.”

  “Yeah. I forget that sometimes.”

  He placed his hand on her thigh just above her knee. She didn’t push him away, so he let it rest there as the horse casually made his way up the path.

  “I guess it’s easy to take things you see every day for granted.”

  “Yeah.”

  The wind blew her hair into his face, so he used his left hand to brush it back over her shoulder. She turned her head slightly to look at him from the corner of her eye, but she didn’t say anything. He glanced down at the side of her neck.

  He was so tempted to place a soft kiss there, just below her delicate earlobe. The diamond studs in her ears caught his attention, and he touched one with the back of his finger.

  He hadn’t noticed those before. They looked to be about two karats, maybe more. Definitely high quality.

  “Those are nice earrings,” he said.

  Keegan lifted her hand and touched her ear. “Just wish I knew where they came from.”

  “I’m just hoping it’s not a jealous boyfriend or husband,” Cody drawled.

  Keegan giggled, then suddenly went quiet. Was she married?

  “I didn’t see a wedding or engagement ring, Keegan, so I think we’re okay,” Cody said with a slight chuckle.

  Keegan jerked around as best she could to stare at him. “This isn’t funny, Cody.”

  Cody frowned. “I never said it was, sweetheart.”

  She turned back to look at the scenery stretched out before them. Cody sighed and put his chin on her shoulder. “I know it’s scary, Keegan. I know you’re confused.”

  “I don’t know what I am. That’s a lot of the problem.”

  “I know what you are,” Cody whispered.

  “What’s that?”

  “A beautiful, sexy woman who makes me think of doing things that should truthfully get me shot.”

  Keegan snickered.

  “Life’s much better when you smile, Sunshine,” he whispered.

  He felt the slight tremor in her body and wondered if it was from the cold or their close proximity. The horse pranced, and Keegan’s bottom shifted against his groin. Damn, he could feel himself getting hard. He imagined her straddling him while he sat on this saddle, his cock buried deep inside her hot body, her mouth on his. He pictured his hands full of her curvy ass, and every part of him tensed with need.

  If he didn’t stop this, he’d kiss her. And probably scare her off. She had enough problems. The last thing she needed was two horny cowboys seducing her.

  “You’re so different from your brother,” she said softly.

  Cody began to absently rub his hand along her thigh. He offered her the reins, and she held them limply in her hand.

  “How so?”

  “It’s…hard to explain.”

  Cody knew what she meant. Others had noticed it too. Sam was gruffer, more intense. Cody was more easygoing, slower to anger. He felt the change in her body, the way she breathed. Looking down, he noticed just how high his hand was getting.

  He hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing until his hand almost touched the apex of her thighs. He moved it back down and slowly began to work the other one as well.

  Ever so gently, inch by inch, he rubbed up her thighs, then back down. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest as his fingers slid even higher.

  Tilting his head, he placed a kiss on the side of her neck, barely touching her skin with his lips. Her breathing hitched as her head shifted just a little. He placed another kiss just a tad bit higher, this time pressing his lips against her more firmly.

  She sighed; barely audible, but Cody heard it, and the sound encouraged him to continue.

  “Did you ever get off last night, Keegan?” Cody whispered.

  She shook her head.

  “I can do that for you now.”

  She swallowed as he nipped at the side of her throat. He let the first two fingers of each hand slide over her pussy. Even through her jeans, he could feel her heat. Her hips shifted slightly toward his hand, and he knew he had her. He moved his hands back down her thighs before slowly sliding them back up again, this time applying a little more pressure to her mound.

  She let her head fall back as a low moan escaped her parted lips. Full, kissable lips that Cody wanted to taste so bad it hurt. He kissed the side of her neck again, this time parting his lips and letting his teeth sink into her flesh.

  Keegan gasped and arched her back. God, she was incredible. He rubbed both hands against her mound before roaming down her leg once more. This time she whimpered when he removed his touch.

  “Do you want me to get you off, Keegan?” he asked softly.

  Please say yes. Please say yes.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  Chapter Six

  Keegan could hardly breathe. What was she doing letting him touch her like this? All she knew was that it felt so good, and after that dream last night, she needed it so badly she could hardly stand it.

  What would he think of her, though? They hardly knew each other. She didn’t even know herself. The only thing she did know was that if he stopped touching her, she’d fall apart.

  This felt so right. So incredible.

  Oh God…what am I doing?

  She put her hand over Cody’s and pulled them away from her body. If she didn’t, she’d lose herself, and she just couldn’t do that right now.

  “We can’t do this,” she whispered.

  Cody briefly put his forehead on her shoulder before sitting back up and putting some much-needed distance between them. She finally felt as though she could breathe again, despite the lustful tightness of her body.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s just…after last night and… I don’t know who I am, if I belong to anyone, although…it doesn’t feel like I do.”

  Crap, she was rambling.

  “It’s okay, Keegan. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

  “It’s not all your fault.” She swallowed and passed the reins back to him. “Could you take me back to the house?”

  Cody nodded and turned the horse back down the path. Keegan couldn’t admire the scenery. All she could think about was how his touch had made her feel. Her mind went back to the dream and how well she’d known them. How could she know them like that? Was it really them or just two men her mind conjured up while sleeping?

  It felt as though it was really them—that she really did know them that well. She
glanced to the right briefly to study Cody from the corner of her eye. She knew deep down that he wasn’t angry…that he understood. How did she know that?

  “Are you sure I don’t know you two?” she asked.

  Cody shifted his hat lower over his eyes. “Trust me, Keegan. If we’d known each other, I would’ve remembered. Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just… I feel like I know you.”

  “Hmm,” Cody hummed. “Maybe you were stalking us, and we just didn’t know it.”

  Keegan smiled slightly. “Maybe,” she replied coyly, knowing that Cody was teasing her.

  An image raced through her mind, and she tensed. She could see Sam and Cody at a table. Sam lifted a beer bottle to his lips. Cody laughed at something a third man said as he passed by their table. Country music blared over speakers hidden throughout the dim, smoke-filled room.

  “You okay?” Cody asked. “You got tense all of a sudden.”

  “I remembered something.”

  Cody stopped the horse. “Yeah. What?”

  “I don’t know. It was just an image for a split second.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing, right? Did you recognize any of it? Did it seem familiar?”

  Keegan debated what to say. Should she tell him she saw them? “No. None of it seemed familiar.”

  Cody gave her a comforting squeeze. “It’ll come, Sunshine. Just give it time.”

  * * * *

  Cody stood on the porch, waiting for Sam to park the truck. He’d been in the helicopter all day, so Cody was sure he would be tired, but he needed to let his brother know what he’d done earlier. Or more precisely, what he’d almost done.

  Sam slowed as he came up the steps. “You look like you have news I don’t want to hear.”

  Cody shifted from one foot to another. “It’s nothing bad…I guess. I just thought you should have a heads-up.”

  Stopping on the top step, Sam narrowed his eyes. “What?”

  “I took Keegan for a ride on Chestnut earlier today, and things might’ve gotten just a little…carried away.”

  “How carried away?”

  Cody sighed. “I had my hand between her legs. She almost came before she stopped me.”

  Sam closed his eyes, and Cody could tell he was silently counting to ten. He waited for him to finish and for the inevitable blowup. Cody didn’t know why he bothered to count. It never helped.

  “Have you lost your mind? I know it’s been a while, Cody, but damn!”

  Cody rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t like that; it just happened. I’m not even sure how it happened or even when. It just happened.”

  “Is she pissed?”

  Cody shrugged. “No. I don’t think so. She did remember something, though.”

  “What?”

  “She didn’t say.”

  Sam let out a tired breath and glanced toward the front door. “Have you talked to her since then?”

  Cody shook his head.

  “Well,” Sam said as he headed for the door. “If there’s going to be a meltdown, might as well get this over with.”

  Cody followed his brother into the kitchen. The smell of food filled the house, and Cody’s stomach growled. “Wow. That smells good.”

  “Yeah, it does,” Sam said as he looked around the kitchen.

  The smell came from the oven. The rest of the kitchen was clean.

  “Where is she?” Cody asked.

  “Good question. Keegan!” Sam yelled.

  The door to the deck opened, and Keegan stuck her head inside. “Yeah?”

  “There you are,” Sam said. “I thought maybe you’d left.”

  Keegan’s lips thinned. “Where would I go, Sam?”

  Sam opened his mouth to say something but instead just nodded in agreement. “What’s for dinner? It smells incredible.”

  Keegan walked inside and shut the door behind her. “It’s a casserole recipe from a cookbook I found in the cabinet. The timer will go off when it’s ready.”

  She had her hair pulled back, exposing her neck, and Cody’s hands shook with the tension of holding back. He wanted to taste her again, this time her mouth. He needed to calm himself down, or he’d end up running her off. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

  “Have we got time to wash up?” Cody asked.

  Keegan looked at him and nodded as her lips spread into a hesitant smile. Part of him relaxed in relief. At least she wasn’t shooting daggers at him.

  “The timer has about ten minutes left, so you’ve got time.”

  Cody turned to leave the kitchen. “Be right back.”

  SAM REMAINED BEHIND, watching Keegan closely. Her gaze stayed on Cody as he left the kitchen, and he could see the shimmer of confusion and doubt.

  “Cody told me about what happened earlier,” Sam said softly.

  Keegan’s gaze shifted to his in surprise. After a brief pause, she rolled her eyes. “Do the two of you talk about everything?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. We share everything from secrets, to clothes…to women.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest as she took in a deep, almost shaky breath. “I see.”

  “Are you okay?”

  She looked at him through angry, narrowed eyes. That look was probably the most spark he’d seen in her, and he’d also never seen her look more beautiful. “What do you think, Sam? Stop asking me if I’m okay, when you know damn good and well that I’m not.”

  “Keegan—”

  “Don’t,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m not angry at either of you. I wanted what happened today just as much as he did, but I’m just not sure it’s a good idea to be following through on that desire. None of us know who I am or why I’m here. For all I know, I could be…”

  “Married?”

  She shook her head sadly. “I don’t feel married.”

  Sam walked over and leaned on the island. “What do you feel? It might make things easier if you talk about it.”

  She put one hand on her hip, the other against the other side of the island across from Sam. “Yeah, or it might makes things more uncomfortable.”

  “I’m not uncomfortable. Are you?”

  “I’m weirded out. Does that count?”

  Sam chuckled. “Yeah. That counts. Cody said you remembered something today.”

  Keegan nodded and chewed on her bottom lip. “I told Cody that I felt like I knew you. He made a joke that maybe I was stalking you before I was attacked. I laughed it off as teasing, but the flash of an image I got was of you and Cody in a bar.”

  Sam tilted his head. “What did it look like?”

  “It was dim, lots of cigarette smoke, lots of wood paneling, plank floors. There was country music blaring. You and Cody were at a table talking when another man walked by and said something to you. He was tall, brown hair, maybe. It was too dim to tell for sure. You were both dressed as you are now.” She looked at Sam and grinned. “Maybe I was stalking you.”

  “Or maybe you just noticed us across a crowded room. If it was the bar in town, maybe they remember seeing you.”

  “Maybe.”

  The timer went off, and she moved to take the casserole out of the oven. She placed it on the hot pad on the counter while Sam washed his hands. He recognized the casserole immediately.

  “Texas hash,” he said with a smile. “I haven’t had that since Dad was alive.”

  She gave him a look of relief. “I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.”

  “Naw, I love it. So does Cody. If that tastes as good as it smells, I don’t think you have to worry about whether or not you’re a good cook.”

  Keegan grabbed some plates from the cabinet and handed him one. “Since Cody isn’t back yet, you can be the taste tester.”

  Sam took the plate and placed a heaping serving right in the middle while Keegan fixed drinks. He took a bite just as Cody walked into the room. “Ah, man,” Sam said with a smile. “This is good, Cody.”

  Cody glanced at the dish and smiled.
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  * * * *

  Dinner had passed with relative ease. The guys had even stayed to help her clean, which, truthfully, had been greatly appreciated. By the time she’d climbed into bed, her stitches were beginning to ache and pull.

  Keegan settled farther under the sheets, hoping she wouldn’t have a repeat of last night. All through dinner, she couldn’t keep her mind off that afternoon with Cody. God, she’d been so close to letting go, so close to losing it and making a complete fool of herself.

  But man, did she wish she had.

  She could still feel his touch. His breath on her neck. His lips. Her nipples hardened beneath the cotton of Sam’s shirt, and she rubbed her palms across them to ease the ache. It didn’t do any good. It only made it worse.

  Sighing, she dropped her hands and stared up at the ceiling. Sam’s scent clung to the shirt, and she sighed, wishing he were here. Wishing both of them were here.

  She really needed to stop daydreaming and get some sleep. Hopefully tonight would be dream free. Closing her eyes, she ignored her body’s needs and forced herself to relax. She must’ve been more tired than she’d thought. Darkness enveloped her much faster than she’d expected. Unfortunately, it didn’t stay dark.

  The nightmare began again.

  Chapter Seven

  Keegan stood outside. The full moon highlighted the snow-covered ground. She could see for miles across the mountains, hear the wolves howling in the distance. She tensed at the sound. Two wolves moved in front of her as though to stand guard, ever ready, ever watchful.

  She touched the head of one. His black-and-gray fur was soft between her fingers, but she knew the strength held tightly checked within his muscular frame could easily overpower her.

  “They’re close,” she whispered.

  “We are not alone,” he answered in her mind.

  She turned to see the others, about twenty in all, standing with her. She spotted Sam and Cody, and every inch of her body tensed. “You can’t be here,” she shouted.

  Sam turned to look at her. From the corner of her eye, she saw the black wolf lunge forward. Keegan screamed and took off at a run, determined to get between Sam and the wolf. Someone grabbed her from behind, stopping her.

  Sam turned toward the wolf and raised his gun. A shot was fired, but he wasn’t fast enough. Blood splattered from the wolf and covered Sam just as the wolf lurched forward, knocking Sam to the ground with a menacing growl.