The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

by Paulette Mahurin

  “I’ll be with you soon, my Emma!” he cried. Charley lifted his head and screamed at the ceiling, “Take me! Take me now!”

  As Mildred soaked in a hot tub that Edra had filled for her behind a partition next to the kitchen, she heard a knock at the door. “What the… Who’s coming at this hour? Edra! Someone’s at the door!”

  Edra moved swiftly, returning a moment later to find Mildred out of the tub and wrapped in her robe. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s Frank. He’s asking if you can go to his place…”

  “At this hour? I’m not going back out…”

  “Emma died. He wants you to watch his children.” Edra relayed that Charley’s neighbor rode out to tell Frank. “Said Helene’s a mess and wouldn’t leave him alone.”

  Mildred was taken aback. “I didn’t expect this so soon. Good thing I got over there today…” She hesitated to get her wits about her. “This is going to speed things up…”

  “You mean the plan?” asked Edra.

  “Yes. Tell Frank I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.” Mildred wondered about Helene’s reaction.

  After Mildred left, Edra made use of the still-warm bath water to ease the tension she was feeling since agreeing to go along with Mildred’s idea. She did not see how the Wilde commotion would change things between them and tried to get Mildred to see her point of view, to no avail. Although it did not sit right with Edra, Mildred had been so sure, strong in her opinion that the way people were talking would impact their lives were any suspicions to form. It was the fear she sensed in Mildred that finally cinched the deal for her and she resigned herself to go along with it. She was no stranger to stress; trauma held in her cells from her brutal rape. A good soaking in the bath would help relieve her knotted muscles. She got into the water, closed her eyes and drifted back.

  On a day when thirteen-year-old Mildred had gone into town with her father, her nine-year-old cousin Edra was left at home with Mildred’s mother, to get over a cough. While Sadie was in the kitchen preparing supper, Edra snuck out to go to the meadow behind the Dunlap house. She loved to rest under a huge single-leaf pinyon pine tree that grew next to a bristlecone pine, their branches intertwining. In her place of sanctuary she would watch mountain bluebirds, hummingbirds, osprey, and once to her excitement, a bald eagle. She enjoyed the feel and texture of the sandstones between her fingers. It was under these trees that she met Swifty, the name she gave to a desert tortoise.

  Edra knelt to the ground and reclined in a comfortable position. She looked up at the trees shading her while the exhaustion of the fever took her to sleep. She could not remember how long her eyes were closed before she was awakened by loud laughter.

  “Why lookie here.” The itinerant was unkempt and smelled foul.

  Edra, dazed, tried to sit up. The man pushed her down with a foot to her chest, and jumped astride her, lowering his body on top of hers.

  “My, you is a beauty. You been waiting here for me, darling?” He ripped at her blouse with one hand and held her firm with the other, lifted her skirt, and entered into areas she never knew could receive so much pain.

  The last thing Edra remembered, before losing consciousness, was the man’s face moving in on hers, his acrid breath.

  It was Mildred who found her and was there for her, day and night, combing her hair, rubbing her back, filling her tub, bringing her meals, and after many months coaxing her back outside to return to the place that had once given her so much joy, now a place she feared.

  The cooling water in the tub sent a shiver up her spine as she continued to remember. In the weeks that followed, it was Mildred’s insistence then, just as now over the Wilde turbulence, that spoke to her. Mildred holding out a hand to her and saying, “Let’s take a walk. You need to face this. It’s for your own healing.”

  “Not today, Mil. I will another time. I promise.”

  “You’ve promised me that many times. Come on. I’ll be at your side.”

  Edra broke out in a sweat when Mildred grabbed hold of her hand. She refused to move. “I can’t.”

  Mildred tightened her grip. She then put her other hand in the pocket of the dress she was wearing and grabbed hold of the derringer nestled in there. When she pulled it out she said, “You’re safe. No one is ever going to hurt you again. Do you hear me? I’ll kill any bastard who puts a hand on you!”

  Edra felt the weight of her legs start to move and with a racing heart followed slightly behind Mildred at a slow pace. When the trees came into view Edra stopped. “I can’t go any further.”

  Mildred squeezed her hand and in a comforting tone said, “We’re almost there. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay. Trust me.”

  Edra continued to move along with Mildred. Once upon the place where the trees intertwined, Mildred caught sight of Swifty coming out of a nearby bush. “Well, look who’s coming.”

  Edra felt a startle. “What!”

  Mildred pointed to where the tortoise was creeping along a couple of feet away. “Probably take him another two days to get to us. I bet he missed you.”

  The memory of the conversation shifting to Swifty, and how Mildred tried to cheer her up, made Edra smile. She got out of the cold water and dried herself. She thought about Mildred’s urgency when describing the plan and wondered if it could work. Mildred was sure that if she showed interest in Charley by bringing food to him at Emma’s bedside, it would start the gossip going. She would continue to show interest in Charley until he rejected her.

  “Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it into seasons.” OSCAR WILDE

  4

  In the weeks that followed Emma’s death, the people in town kept a vigil on Charley. Shifts were mustered to bring food and offer comfort. The melodrama in town was fueled by a rumor Josie started that Charley was suicidal. Mildred continued to bring him food. She could not stomach his histrionics but knew that she had to endure them. “I’m going to take Mabel Whitmore along with me today,” she told Edra.

  “You can’t take a four-year-old around Charley. It’ll scare her.”

  “Charley’s not going to do anything to upset his own niece.”

  “I don’t know about that. That man seems out of control,” Edra insisted.

  Mildred softened her voice. “Trust me.”

  The buggy ride to Charley’s place consisted of an endless stream of “What’s that?” with Mabel pointing at everything her eyes set sight on and getting under Mildred’s skin something awful. It was all she could do to maintain her composure. She resisted fending off Mabel’s barrage. “Listen here, honey,” Mildred hesitated, wondering if her tone was too stern. “Your Uncle Charley has been feeling a little sad lately so we’re going to play a game with him.”

  “A game! What game? I like games!”

  “We’re going to play, let’s make Uncle Charley smile and laugh.” She felt silly. This was out of character for her but she wanted to deflect attention off her when they arrived, and nothing else came to mind.

  “How do we play that? I never heard of that game. Tell me, Mildred.”

  “Well, you see honey…”

  Mabel interrupted, “Tell me! Tell me!”

  Mildred’s grip tightened on the reins. “I’m trying. Settle down there a minute.”

  Mabel squirmed in her seat. “I’m waiting!”

  “When we get there…”

  “Yes, tell me!”

  “When we get there…” She drew a slow breath. “You just tell your uncle all the things that make you laugh.”

  “When my feet get tickled,” Mabel chuckled.

  “There you go. Let’s see how many things we can think of. Whoever makes him laugh the most is the winner.”

  “When daddy tickles me on my sides.”

  The view of town came into sight across the open dry desert, with a few tumbleweeds flying around the scattered pinyons. The warmth of the sun felt good, relieving some of the tension Mildred was feeling about visiting Charley aga
in.

  “Yes, yes.” Mildred turned left at the corner by Gus Spivey’s General Store. “Almost there. Just be a minute now.”

  When Mabel saw Charley’s place, she bounced with excitement. “Uncle Charley!” she screamed. “Uncle Charley, we come to play!” She ran to the front door.

  “What’s all that commotion?” Charley asked Harry Peterson, sitting vigil at the side of his bed. “Can’t you people just go and let me be?” He heard another scream coming from his front porch. “Stop all that racket!” he yelled.

  “Uncle Charley!”

  “That sounds like a child.” Charley paused. “Sounds like Mabel,” he said to Harry.

  When Harry left Charley to get the door, Mabel burst in, nearly knocking him over.

  “It is you, Mabel. Who in God’s name brought you here?”

  “Uncle Charley.” Mabel threw herself on the bed next to him. “Mildred brought me to play with you.” Mabel was not fazed by the fact that Charley looked old and worn with his hair in need of cutting, nor did she notice his dull brown eyes surrounded by newly formed wrinkles.

  “Mildred? What the hell…”

  “You said a bad word,” admonished Mabel. “My mom told me never to say a bad…”

  That calmed him. “Okay, young lady.” Emma Milpass had loved her niece Mabel, a fact that was not forgotten by Charley. He also had a soft spot for her. “Mabel, your Uncle Charley here isn’t feeling well. Go and get Mildred to take you home.”

  Mabel pulled a face and pouted, “I don’t want to leave.”

  When Mildred approached the bedroom door, Charley shot her a look. “Mildred, you need to take Mabel back home. This is no place for my little niece to be.”

  “I’m not going!” Mabel responded vehemently.

  “Calm down now, Mabel,” Charley urged.

  “Charley, why don’t you just get on up and we’ll all have a little snack together. Mabel has something in store for you after that.”

  “Come on, Uncle Charley.” Mabel tugged at his arm until he got up. “Do you have any cookies?”

  Charley begrudgingly moved to the kitchen with Mabel. “I don’t know what we got here,” he mumbled, as Harry signaled to Mildred that he was leaving.

  “I’m hungry,” Mabel whined. “Here.” She opened a cabinet where Emma had kept cookies and candy for the kids who visited them and pulled out a tin of stale cookies.

  “How about some tea?” Mildred suggested to Charley as she picked the kettle up off the stove, filled it with water, and started a fire.

  “We gonna play a game with you, Uncle Charley,” Mabel said, biting down on a hard chocolate-chip cookie.

  Charley surrendered to Mabel’s exuberance. He watched while she jumped up and down in excitement and took notice of the scrapes on her banged-up knees. “How’d you get all those bruises?” he asked.

  “Cranky.”

  Cranky, the Whitmore’s yellow-haired mutt, was a handful. As a puppy, he had unbounded energy and was always getting into mischief chewing anything he could get in his mouth. His name was Yellow Dog until he tore Mabel’s favorite hand-sewn cotton doll to shreds. Mabel was inconsolable till Helene promised to sew another one that very same day. “He’s just being cranky,” Helene told Mabel while she patched together a new doll.

  “Cranky, Cranky, Cranky,” Mabel squealed at him.

  That name stayed.

  Charley looked down at his niece. “What’s Cranky been into now? Come here and let me have a look…”

  Mildred noticed that Charley seemed to be perking up.

  “That’s some dog you have there, little missy.” Charley patted Mabel’s head. “He still running with two balls in his mouth?”

  “He can do three now, Uncle Charley.”

  “Three balls. Well! How about that?” Charley smiled.

  Mabel burst forth with stories about her play with Cranky while Mildred sat by and took it in. They stayed until Sam Larue came to relieve Mildred’s watch. After taking them to her buggy, he returned to find Charley heating up water for a bath. “I won’t be needing you here, Sam.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Charley smiled. “What does this look like to you, Sam? I’m gonna have myself a bath. Then when I clean myself up, this place here needs some help. Go on now. Go home to your family. I’ll be okay.” He saw Sam’s hesitancy and continued, “Don’t be worrying. It’s just gonna take time.”

  “You sure?” Sam needed to reassure himself.

  When Charley responded, he was convinced it’d be okay to leave.

  “One should absorb the color of life.” OSCAR WILDE

  5

  It had been on Edra’s twelfth birthday, three years after she was raped, that things forever changed between the two girls. The rape that had been a curse up until then would transform into a dark blessing. When the search party came back empty-handed, people understood why Edra felt unsafe venturing outside the ranch. For Edra, who was becoming a beautiful young lady, it became the accepted excuse for lack of interest in socializing. Mildred did not need a reason. No one paid attention to why she had no friends and spent her time with the ranch animals and her traumatized cousin. Her homely, overly tall, and masculine appearance at a young age was fodder for heckling. Through the years, town folk, particularly mean-spirited Josie and her friends, did not let up or spare her when she was in earshot. She’s ugly. No one will ever take to her. Good thing she has her cousin…no one else would want her.

  Mildred had just finished her chores and gone to the kitchen to help with birthday preparations when Edra called her back to the living room. “It’s warm.” The blistering heat made Edra feel lethargic. “Let’s go for a swim in Walker Lake.”

  “I have to help mamma with your cake. You go on.”

  Edra pouted, “It’s my birthday. I’m not going if you don’t.” She went to the kitchen, where Sadie was pouring baking ingredients into a bowl, and returned to Mildred a moment later. “Mamma told me it’s okay for you to go.”

  “Edra,” said Mildred, noting there was still plenty of daylight left, “you’re going to wear me out.”

  Edra’s excitement rose. “Let’s go.”

  “Wait a sec. Let me get my things.”

  Edra felt warm inside. Her nipples hardened like they did when it was cold outside, and a sensation crept into her body that she had only recently experienced, way down deep inside. A yearning burst up her spine when Mildred returned and grabbed her arm to get going.

  The air cooled as they approached an isolated area of trees at the lakeside. “Here’s a good spot.” Mildred looked over to Edra for agreement.

  “I forgot to bring my suit,” Edra lied.

  “You forgot your suit?”

  “I don’t need a swimsuit. I’m going in naked.”

  “What?”

  “No one ever comes out this way. I’m not getting my clothes wet. It’s hot.” She unbuttoned the back of her dress, disrobed, and ran to the water.

  Mildred smiled inside, feeling a sense of satisfaction over how much Edra had changed since the time when she was violated. At first it was very slow going, an incredible effort to even get her to mention the incident, but with time and nurturing Mildred helped her return to where it happened. After that, Edra learned to trust and open to Mildred, to become playful again, and even take risks, like today, that she hadn’t since being traumatized. She was returning to herself and as she recovered, their affection grew.

  “I don’t know what I am going to do with you,” Mildred muttered to herself as she got out of her skirt and blouse, and folded them neatly. She took off her undergarments and put on her swimsuit, wrapped herself in a large towel, and then made her way down to the water.

  “This feels great!” Edra screamed and splashed, sending ripples right up to Mildred’s legs, now knee-deep.

  Edra floated over to Mildred as she made her way deeper into the water. She moved closer and let her arms slide down over Mildred’s buttocks.

  �
��Don’t pull me under like that,” Mildred said, as she broke loose. She turned onto her back and floated around feeling the coolness of the water under her as the sun baked hot on her face.

  Edra paddled about keeping her full attention on Mildred’s body, the curves of her fully formed breasts showing through the thickness of the swimsuit that went all the way to her knees. As Edra watched, she felt the stirrings returning, warming her insides in the coolness of the water. She drifted closer and placed a hand on Mildred’s belly.

  “Hey, watch out. You’ll drown me,” Mildred laughed.

  “Mildred.” Edra put her arms around Mildred’s waist and drew her close. “I love you.”

  Mildred backstroked away, kicking water to stay afloat. “The feeling is mutual. Now watch it.”

  Edra trod water. “I think I have different feelings than we have talked about before.” She paddled toward Mildred. “Let’s get out.” Edra had first sensed her affinity for Mildred’s body, a woman’s body, a couple of years earlier when she got excited entertaining thoughts of them together, without clothes on. When she turned eleven, the attraction grew, along with the awareness that she didn’t feel the same preference toward a man’s body. She knew what she wanted, what she needed, and what sat right in her skin.

  Mildred didn’t know what to make of Edra’s comment. “I won’t be much longer. It’s so nice here.” She moved her arms to stay afloat. “I’ll just be a little bit.”

  Edra went ashore and wrapped herself in a towel. While she sat and watched Mildred, feelings inside her screamed for attention. She wanted to explore what was happening. She yearned to be touched in places that she had only, until now, gone to by herself; places where hair was starting to appear, where tingling erupted when she moved her hands and rubbed herself near the folds of skin and moistness. She wanted to experience what it would be like to be naked and touched by the only person alive she felt safe with and trusted completely. Edra let the towel fall to her waist as Mildred approached.

  “Cover yourself up,” Mildred admonished.