Magical Cool Cat Mysteries Boxed Set Volume 3 (Magical Cool Cats Mysteries)

by Mary Matthews

  Chapter Nine

  Frank and Veronica became crowd favorites because Veronica had the most extraordinary jewelry, strands of art deco styled bracelets that matched her earrings. They danced like they didn’t need the money. They needed the adventure.

  “Money can’t buy everything,” Veronica whispered.

  “It can buy your search for everything. You can search for everything all over the world on it. On luxury liners,” Frank said loudly.

  Their marriage was like a malignant tumor neither one of them severed. It just kept making both of them sick. Like great health can be truly appreciated only after an illness, they adored their lovers.

  Drinking and romping through woods at nineteen with her guy at 3:00 a.m. had been fun. Marriage and him coming home drunk at 3:00 a.m. was not. He became useless.

  “And now,” Nick began coughing and clearing his throat, “the Charleston again.”

  The dancers moved arms and legs back and forth quickly, upping their tempo with the music, in tandem. Myrtle continued to eat Charleston Chews candy while dancing the Charleston again. The crowd alternately threw change and candy at her. She liked it because none of the other female dancers were getting candy and money too.

  Grace didn’t like seeing the change thrown. She worried that someone was going to slip on it. She looked around the room, assuring herself that Jack, Zeus, and Tatania were all there.

  Tatania yawned and looked amused by the humans’ exertions.

  “Frank, the car has been making a funny noise. What should I do?”

  “Turn up the radio, Veronica.”

  Tatania, the huntress, dropped a mouse on one of Grace’s Mary Jane pumps. She put her paw on the mouse and meowed. Like a lion roaring over its prey.

  ‘Thank you,” Grace said.

  The saboteur released roaches into the resting parlors. When Veronica lay down for a nap, the roaches began crawling across her, waking her up, preventing sleep. They were aggressive bugs and even the bright lights from the top of the Dance Pavilion didn’t deter them.

  Afraid to fall asleep again because of the roaches, she reached for her shoe, and pulled it on. She felt something under her foot. She pulled it out. There was a roach in this shoe.

  She heard a macabre voice say outside, “Veronica has new insects.”

  “I hate it here,” Veronica snapped. Probably the only person in history to say that while in Coronado.

  Melanie thought she might have a chance to win and get her mom’s surgery money. “I’m getting what I want but not in the way I want to get it,” she said.

  “No one wants to hear that,” Myrtle snarled.

  “And you qualify as no one, Myrtle,” Jack said.

  Melanie hated mirrors. Hated to see her cleft lip looking back at her. Someone kept putting a mirror on the table next to her cot. Zeus jumped up next to her, rolling over, distracting her. Tatania batted the mirror, flipping it over to the other side.

  Then, they lept on the comfiest seats in the audience and enjoyed the admiring looks that always came their way. If Zeus had a salmon for every time he’d heard someone call him a cute kitty, he’d have an entire salmon farm.

  Tatania groomed her paw and barely noticed the dog on a leash across from her. He began barking incessantly at the cats.

  Grace and Jack never minded the sound of dogs barking. They were more likely to be annoyed by the sound of people complaining about the sound of dogs barking.

  “I can’t decide which color I want,” Grace said, holding up the red and black pumps.

  “Buy one in every color,” Annie Knickerbocker said, hand waving in front of the entire shoe rack set up outside the Dance Pavilion.

  They went back inside the Dance Pavilion. Myrtle and Fred were chatting. They never seemed to use the breaks to sleep.

  “Grace, your dress is the bees knees,” Myrtle shrieked.

  “Melanie, your dress is the bees knees.” Myrtle pivoted from Grace towards Melanie.

  Grace whispered to Jack, “she’s a little too facile with the compliments. It’s like she’s trying to grease your skids.”

  “Especially if she says something about my dress.”

  “You’re not wearing a dress, Jack.”

  “Exactly.”

  Tatania put a paw on Jack’s shoulder. Then she gently bit his finger, signaling it would be good time to serve her a snack. Jack got up and went to the snack bar to get Tatania some sardines. On a small sheet of butcher paper, the server gave him two sardines. He turned to give them to Tatania, and found the cat already right behind him.

  Zeus joined her and grabbed the second one. Tatania tolerated the cute little black and white tomcat. She had a generous nature.

  Fred had a way of dancing like he knew all the steps but never heard the beat. Myrtle danced like she could hear a beat but couldn’t get a step quite right. Nick kept them both encapsulated in a bubble of nepotism.

  Chapter Ten

  The juggler came in with balls and sardines. After juggling the balls, he picked up the sardines. Zeus quickly jumped up and grabbed a sardine while he was juggling it. The crowd applauded. Zeus scampered away to enjoy his meal privately.

  Nick said, “Molly and Stan are spending their honeymoon with us at the Dance Marathon. How’s married life treating you so far?”

  “So far, it’s the same as single life. We’d rather be fishing.” Molly laughed. The crowd clapped. There was a crowd in their marriage. And it looked like Molly and Stan were becoming a favorite. Myrtle stood to the side wringing her hands.

  “Who needs Niagra Falls when you can dance in Coronado?” Nick asked rhetorically.

  The crowd clapped again. Molly and Stan joined the tap dancer with a little impromptu dance of their own.

  “I want to he the first woman who gets pregnant and gives birth at Nick’s Dance Marathon.”

  “Well, you may only be the first to give birth.” Nick joked.

  Tatania purred next to Melanie. She’d noticed there wasn’t a cat around her. When a person who didn’t have a cat appeared kind, Tatania would give her extra attention, imagining how sad it must be for a human to live without a cat.

  She brushed against Melanie’s cleft lip for good luck. Melanie was a good human and Tatania knew things would get better for her. She’d get her operation. Melanie touched her cleft lip self consciously and Tatania rolled on her side and extended one paw adorably to distract her. Melanie smiled. She had beautiful teeth. And a nice male human. All she needed was a cat. If it wouldn’t be devastating to Jack and Grace to lose her, Tatania would consider adopting Melanie.

  Zeus quietly left cat fur on Melanie’s dancing sweater for good luck. Both cats were sensitive to the plight of the catless.

  A man swayed in the crowd, unable to find his seat.

  “When did you begin drinking and how much have you had?” A cop asked.

  “I don’t know how much I’ve had but I began drinking in 1917.”

  “Sit down and have a cup of joe.”

  “I’m trying,” he said.

  Fred looked disgusted by the befuddled man. He had the self confidence of someone who has had everything handed to him and never been tested.

  Tatania and Zeus kept their distance from him but Grace noticed both cats sniffing the air as if they were memorizing his scent.

  Grace noticed Myrtle coming back late and no one saying anything about it. The judge kept eating.

  “The judge is paid for by her father-in-law. So no one questions it.”

  “It’s not fair.”

  “No. But it’s not like anyone regulates dance marathons either. No one wants to cross Nick.”

  The judge kept eating. “I don’t have any mustard,” he yelled and kept eating his hot dog.

  “Grace, Myrtle just lives in a bubble. She doesn’t know any better,” Jack said.

  “She’s all wet. One day her bubble of nepotism will get pricked and she’ll fall flat on her face.”

  “But what is Fred so b
itter about?”

  “First rule of dependency. You hate whomever you are dependent on. It’s one of the differences between humans and animals,” Annie said.

  Tatania lapped up a serving of ice cream.

  “Sweet kitty, pretty kitty,” cooed the human who brought it to her.

  Fred walked in carrying what looked like a portable heater.

  “I’m fixing it,” Fred said.

  “No, no you don’t need a screw for that. I think you just latch it at top.” Grace pointed out the top of the heater.

  “Stop screwing around,” Jack said.

  “We’re going to Europe soon.” Fred smiled the smug smile he wore when he thought was doing something no one else could do.

  “Have you ever been?”

  “Yes, we’ve both lived there. I went for the Great War. Grace went for Finishing School. Both battles of different sorts.”

  Fred’s face looked disappointed. Then, he saw a red haired woman and loudly said, “I think brunettes are the best looking.” Glancing back and forth between her and Grace and smiling.

  Chapter Eleven

  “When you’re young and in love, you don’t need sleep.” Grace recognized the sound of her friend, Annie Knickerbocker, talking to Melanie and Jimmy.

  “I can do anything,” Jimmy said. “During sex, women start calling me God.” Annie seemed to evoke confidence in men.

  Melanie rubbed her feet. She looked pained. Zeus jumped up next to her and purred.

  “He’s the cutest little kitty I ever saw.” She scratched Zeus behind the ears.

  “If we win first prize this time, we can take time off. I’d like to stay in Coronado for awhile.”

  “Everyone has that reaction to Coronado.”

  “There’s nothing Myrtle hates more than seeing someone accomplish something. I don’t trust either one of them. They’d poison food. Put laxatives in a couple’s food,” Grace said quietly to Jack.

  “But isn’t Myrtle his daughter-in-law? She gets money even if she doesn’t win.”

  “Lets stick to crackers. We’ll just nibble now,” Grace said, pulling Jack away from the buffet of steak, salads, seafood, pineapple, and watermelon.

  “I want Melanie to win,” Grace said.

  “I know.”

  With the dance marathon, Nick brought in exhibits that consisted primarily of farm animals that had some type of deformity. Like a two headed calf and a chicken with three eyes. Grace didn’t like it. She had a queasy feeling when she saw animals put on display. It was different when people like Tom Thumb chose to put themselves on display because they were midgets. Or extravagantly fat people like the Fat Lady at the Circus got paid while people gawked at her.

  “Jimmy knows he’s handsome,” Annie observed, never missing anyone or anything good looking.

  Zeus head butted Melanie’s side, making her laugh. Jimmy and Melanie had been through three dance marathons with Nick. They saw Fred and Myrtle take first prize each time. time. Still, they consoled themselves that they were making enough money to travel and save a little towards Melanie’s mom’s operation.

  “Don’t hide any of your money in your resting parlor,” Grace advised.

  “Too much oddball stuff going on there. Wire it home to your parents. To someone you trust. Or open a bank account here.”

  Barber chairs and beauty salon chairs were set up around the perimeter of the dance floor. But sometimes, one couldn’t finish a cut or style during the fifteen minute break. Then the hair stylist would follow the dancer back on the dance floor and keep curling her hair while the audience cheered.

  The audience would watch manicures and pedicures and it seemed to evoke hidden voyeurs in the audience members. It was like they all had a latent longing to witness a stranger’s rituals.

  “Welcome back, suckers. Get your Maxwell House coffee people, good to the last drop. Like an aging actress, good to the next flop,” Nick yelled.

  “Apparently, no joke is too goofball for Nick,” Grace watched the shameless huckster.

  “How rich do you think he’s getting off this gig?”

  “More than a Catskills comedian. Less than Al Capone. Maybe more than the President.”

  “Sprint. Fox Trot. Lets go!” Nick bellowed.

  “Come on, you suckers! Show me the cat’s pajamas,” Nick yelled and the crowd clapped.

  “It seems like he borders on denigrating the dance contestants,” Grace said.

  “What part of it is borderline?” Jack replied.

  Grace laughed. “Come here my little fluffy paw.” She reached for Zeus, who was entertaining himself after some fresh catnip by rolling around at the edge of the dance floor like it was the greatest thing ever. The dancers moved by, speed increasing, at a frenzied pace.

  “Dance cards are becoming so last century. These girls could not carry a card big enough for all the dances they’ll complete in the next rounds. We’ve got hours to go and who will win nobody knows.” Nick kept speaking.

  “Nick is obviously rigging it. We need to find out who is sabotaging it because they’re so bitter that Nick is rigging it.”

  Tatania rolled her eyes. Humans were so slow. She could solve a mystery as quickly as she could eat a treat and groom a paw. Humans took much longer to figure things out. And humans had a tendency to make too much noise. Tatania knew the power of being silent. Of hiding. Of stealth.

  And Grace and Jack were easily distracted from the case by dancing with each other. Zeus was watching any bird fly. She alone had the focus, determination, and curiosity necessary to solve each case. They really should change those business cards to Tatania & Associates, she thought again.

  Fred and Myrtle looked smug.

  “I suppose we’d look smug too if we lived in a bubble of nepotism.”

  “Earning your own way is much more exciting, Grace.”

  “Really?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never had the option of doing it any other way.”

  “If you hadn’t been a Pinkerton Detective, I never would have met you.” Grace ran her fingers through the dark black hair on the head she loved more than any other.

  “Melanie and Jimmy have the greatest motive. If it’s about the money and they want the money the most, they would be most likely suspects. Except.” Grace paused, twirling her hair.

  “I don’t think they’d hurt people for money.” Jack and Grace said in unison.

  “And we keep thinking it’s someone who has been following them through towns for the Dance Marathon. But what if a new couple joined? What if it’s a ring of couples who are acting together?”

  “We’re talking about a lot of dough. It could be that they’re promoters who want to derail Nick’s Dance Marathon, take it over for themselves, or make it less competitive.”

  “And while you’re dancing, I”m going to find out who has been romancing.” Nick jumped off the stage. Tatania and Zeus followed him out.

  Chapter Twelve

  Nick got in his private railway car on the tracks. Even though they were ostensibly following him, Tatania and Zeus beat him there. Cats are like that.

  Zeus jumped up quickly when Nick entered. Without Tatania’s invisibility power, he lacked protection from unfriendly humans. Cats required keen senses, speed, and agility to protect themselves from the world’s predators. Fortunately, God blessed cats with all three. Divine Providence offered a dark armoire, and Zeus lept on top of it before Nick noticed him.

  Nick went directly to a drawer, pulled out a bottle of scotch, and started drinking. A woman came out of the bedroom car wearing a half-open robe with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.

  “I’m busy drinking. I don’t want you,” he said.

  “I feel the same way,” she said, taking the bottle from him, and pouring herself a drink in the glass she already carried.

  “Leave my expensive scotch alone.”

  “Leave me alone.”

  He shoved her and she fell backwards, grabbing onto the wall for su
pport. She retreated back into the bedroom and banged the door so hard the whole railway car shook. Tatania, though invisible, backed away from him. Men who smelled like alcohol were usually not good news for cats. Once, she saw a drunk on the pier throwing a bottle at an innocent kitten, hitting the little one on the back and she quickly swivelled her ears three times, became invisible, lept up, and clawed his face. He kept drinking, blood mixing with alcohol, and Tatania clawed his ankles until he fell down. Let the creep know what it feels like to be on the ground, smaller and more vulnerable than everyone else.

  She’d napped on stories about Prohibition. They said if alcohol was illegal, domestic violence would end because men wouldn’t get drunk in saloons and then go home and beat up their wives. Faulty human logic. Humans, though she was fond of some, seemed to lack an understanding of the inherent animal instincts that drove every being. For good or bad. She was lucky she met Jack, who saved her from drowning as a kitten. He’d follow good inherent animal instincts his whole life. And Grace was inevitable. Cat meets nice human male. They live happily together. Human female shows up and wants to live with them too.

  Nick bellowed at the woman again. They heard a thud. Tatania looked under the bedroom door. She’d shoved furniture against it from inside. Good for her.

  While Nick pounded on the door, Tatania opened a hutch cabinet. She pulled out a bottom drawer and began rifling through its contents. With the fan blowing, it looked like papers in the drawer were moving of their own volition while the invisible cat went through the papers one by one.

  She pulled something out, put it in her mouth, nudged Zeus to get moving, and they jumped out an open window. Tatania stayed invisible and it looked like a paper was flying along next to the cute black and white kitty, leaving people they passed staring open mouthed, gaping at them.

  Tatania paused. She caught Jack’s scent in the sea wind. She could always hone in on Jack’s location. He was her primary human. When she saw him sitting outside the Dance Pavilion with Grace, she swivelled her ears three times, became visible, and jumped in Jack’s lap, dropping the paper.