“I’m sorry to burden you with this news, but in one sense, it is a blessing. Few men are given the chance to know when their end is coming. I have time to prepare. You will have time to prepare as well. You must find someone to care for you when I cannot. Wayne is a goot man. A fine farmer. I hope you will consider him.”
Emma arose and carried her mug to the kitchen sink. Setting it carefully on the counter, she stared out the window. How could she refuse Zachariah’s request? She couldn’t. Everything she had, everything she believed in, was due to the kindness and love of the man who had chosen to become her father.
“Where are the boys?” he asked.
She stared out the kitchen window at the snow-covered farm looking pristine and sparkling as the clouds parted and sunshine chased away the gloomy afternoon. God’s beautiful white blanket covered the holes in the barn roof and disguised the junk her father piled up along the sides of the sheds. No one could see how the henhouse roof sagged or how badly it needed to be replaced. “They took a load of firewood to Jim Morgan’s place. They should have been back by now.”
“You know how they like to look at Jim’s toys. Maybe he is giving them a ride on his motorcycle again.”
“I hope not.” She hated that her brothers were fascinated with Englisch vehicles. She disliked that Jim and his brother encouraged them, but her family needed the money Jim was willing to pay for the wood the boys cut and hauled.
Her poor brothers. They would be heartbroken when they learned this news about their father. She wanted to ease the pain for them, but she didn’t know how. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She brushed them away. “I wish they would come home. I know you want to share this news with them, sad though it is.”
“I will tell them, but not yet. Not today.”
She turned to face him. “Why wait?”
He stirred his coffee without looking at her. “Christmas is coming. You know how excited Alvin is about his school Christmas program. I don’t want to ruin that for him. This news can wait until after the New Year. A month or two won’t make any difference. Perhaps by then they will have the news of your coming marriage to cheer them up and make them feel secure.”
“I see your point.” Except that meant she would have to carry the burden of this information alone.
“I hear someone coming. Is it the boys?”
The sound of hoofbeats reached her. She glanced out the window and her traitorous heart gave the same funny little flip it always did when she caught sight of Luke Bowman. He drew his buggy to a stop in front of the house.
Luke. The man she had once hoped to marry. The same man who had made it painfully clear that he didn’t care about her at all. The memory of their parting years ago still had the power to bring tears to her eyes.
Jim Morgan had been the one who told her Luke was leaving that night. She had packed a bag and rushed to find him before it was too late. At the bus station, she had gripped his arm, willing him to see how much she cared.
“I love you, Luke. More than my own life. More than my family. I’ll go anywhere as long as I can be with you. You need me as much as I need you. I know you love me.”
He brushed her hand aside. His face was blank as he stared at the ground. “You don’t get it, Emma. I don’t need you. I don’t want you tagging after me. Stay here. Live a simple life. Be happy with some farmer and have six kids of your own.”
“I don’t want to stay without you. I love you. Please, let me come with you.”
“Why would I? You’ve become a nuisance. I don’t love you, Emma. I never did.” He turned away and started to board the bus as her heart broke into tiny pieces. On the steps, he paused. “Forget about me. Find someone else.”
He took a seat by the window and left her weeping at the bus station. He never looked back. She knew because she had watched until the bus was gone from sight.
She had meant nothing to him, while he had meant everything to her.
But not anymore.
It was a blessing that he had rejected her offer to go out into the world with him. Nineteen, lovestruck and foolishly naive, she hadn’t understood the powerful hold his growing drug use had on him then. She thought her prayers and her love could change him, save him from himself, but she had been wrong. Luke had been caught in a downward spiral that brought shame and heartache to her and to his family. He had disappeared into the city where he went from using drugs to selling them until he was arrested. It had taken time in prison to free him from his addiction.
Emma blew out a deep breath as she watched Luke get out of his buggy. She’d gotten over her feelings for him ages ago. Now, he was simply someone she chose to avoid. In the year and a half that he had been back among the Amish, she’d managed never to be alone with him.
Pushing her painful memories and broken dreams into the deep recesses of her heart, she dumped her coffee down the drain. “Luke Bowman is here.”
“Luke? I wonder what he wants.”
Chapter Two
“Are you going to come in with me?” Still seated in Luke’s buggy, young Alvin gazed fearfully at the house.
“Ja, I’ll come in.” Luke knew exactly how the boy felt. He’d been in the same position more than once in his life—having to face the consequence of his foolhardiness. The boy had learned a hard lesson today. Older brothers did not always know best.
Luke stood in the cold air waiting for the boy to get out. His hands still ached, but at least he had the feeling back in them now. His buggy horse whinnied to Zachariah’s horse hitched at the rail in front of the house. The black gelding nickered back. Flecks of foam on the animal proved the horse had covered more than a few miles recently. Why hadn’t he been put away? It was bad for a sweaty horse to be left standing in the cold. Zachariah knew that. Maybe he was leaving again soon.
“She’s gonna be mad.” Alvin scooted a shade closer to the open door but didn’t get out.
Luke knew whom the boy meant. “She’ll be thankful that you’re safe. Trust me.”
“For a little bit. Then she’s gonna be mad. You don’t know what my shveshtah is like when she gets her feathers ruffled.”
“Actually, I do know what your sister is like when she’s angry.”
Luke didn’t bother trying to explain ancient history to the worried boy with him, but he still recalled the tongue lashings Emma had given him when she’d discovered he and Jim were experimenting with drugs. His life would have been a lot better if he’d taken her scolding to heart, but he hadn’t. He’d let the drugs pull him deeper and deeper into trouble until he ended up in prison. Like most fools, he’d had to learn his lesson the hard way. Even now, he worried that he might fall back into his old ways without the threat of prison hanging over his head.
Alvin finally got out of the buggy. Luke followed him up the porch steps. At the door, Alvin drew a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Luke followed him in. Emma and Zachariah were waiting for them in the clean and cheery kitchen. The room had wide-plank pine floors. A blue checkered cloth covered the long table in the center of the room. A star quilt in bright shades of red and white covered a quilting frame in front of the far window. The mouthwatering smell of roasting meat and vegetables came from the oven. A pan of rolls sat rising on the stovetop. Emma had always been a good cook.
Luke took his black hat off. Alvin pulled his off, too, and stood at Luke’s side, staring at the floor. From his own experiences, Luke knew Alvin wouldn’t be able to sink through it and disappear no matter how hard he wished he could. He put a hand on the boy’s shoulder and nodded to Alvin’s family. “Afternoon, Emma, Zachariah.”
“Goot to see you, Luke. What brings you here with my youngest in tow? Has he been up to some mischief?”
“Alvin, where is Roy?” Emma didn’t bother to acknowledge Luke. He was used to it, but it still hurt when she poi
ntedly ignored him.
“There was a sort of accident,” Alvin muttered.
“What kind of accident?” Zachariah rose unsteadily to his feet. Emma stood beside him wide-eyed. She pressed a hand to her chest.
“Roy is okay,” Luke added quickly to reassure them. He pushed Alvin forward. “You had best tell them everything from the beginning.”
Alvin nodded, took a deep breath and looked at his sister. “We took the wood to Jim Morgan’s house like you told us to do, Emma. We unloaded it and stacked it in his shed. When we were done, Jim let us sit on his snowmobile. The red-and-white one that goes so fast. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”
“And?” Emma prompted, the concern in her eyes giving way to speculation.
“Jim went inside to get our money, and his brother Brian showed Roy how to start the snowmobile. Brian let us take it for a little ride. Just a short one. We were coming right back. It was loads of fun. Then...”
Her eyes narrowed to slits. She propped her hands on her hips. “Then what?”
“Roy drove it out on the river,” Luke continued when it was clear that Alvin was out of courage. “The machine broke through the ice. Alvin was thrown clear, but Roy was dumped in the water. Fortunately, Noah and I saw the whole thing. We fished Roy out and got him back to my folks’ place. Mamm and Rebecca thought it best that he stay in bed for a day or so to make sure he recovers and doesn’t come down with pneumonia.”
Rebecca was married to Luke’s oldest brother. She was Emma’s cousin and had worked as a lay nurse in the community before she married Samuel. Luke knew Emma would trust her judgment over anyone else on the subject of her brother’s health.
Zachariah sat down. “Sounds like my boy took more than a little dunking.”
Luke turned his hat in his hands. “He was in the water for a good bit.”
“He got swept under the ice, but Luke saved him,” Alvin said, looking up with admiration in his eyes.
Uncomfortable with the praise, Luke ruffled the boy’s blond hair. “God helped a little. He kept me from falling through the ice, too.”
“I know how treacherous the river ice is this time of year. You risked your life to save my son. Danki.” Zachariah rose to his feet again and held his hand out.
Luke accepted the man’s thanks and shook his hand. “Anyone would have done the same.”
Emma rubbed a hand across her forehead. “So Roy has ruined a machine that costs hundreds if not thousands of dollars. How are we going to pay for it? Does your brother possess a single grain of common sense? What came over him to try and ride a snowmobile? And you just went along with him as if it were okay. I honestly don’t know what to do with you, Alvin.”
“Told you,” the boy whispered under his breath. He stared at the floor again.
Luke was hard-pressed not to smile. “I managed to get a rope on the snowmobile and pull it off the river after Roy was safe. It will take some work, but it will run again.”
“You went back out on the ice? You risked your life to retrieve a stupid machine? What is wrong with you, Luke Bowman?” Emma’s eyes snapped with fury.
Taken aback by her anger, he gaped at her. She had no idea how attractive she was with her cheeks flushed with color and her hands propped on her shapely hips. Her dress was a deep blue, the same shade as her eyes, and her white kapp accented the fiery red of her hair. She was a fine figure of a woman now. Not at all like the skinny girl that he’d dated back when he was nineteen. They had both changed, but he remembered the sweet taste of her lips as if it were yesterday.
“What were you thinking?” Emma demanded.
Luke fastened his gaze on the floor. Best not to think about the times he had kissed those pert lips. “I was thinking it would be a shame to let a fine machine fall into a watery grave. Jim is a good friend of mine.”
“You are unbelievable!” Emma stormed out of the room and up the stairs. The sound of a door slamming overhead reverberated through the house.
Zachariah swung his gaze to Luke. “Forgive Emma’s temper. She has had a trying day.”
“Having Emma mad at me is nothing new. I’ll live.” Luke quelled his desire to follow her and make amends. It wouldn’t do any good, anyway. She could barely stay in the same room with him, let alone listen to his apology.
Zachariah laid a hand on Alvin’s shoulder. “I’m glad you are safe. I give God thanks for His mercy. Are you well enough to go take care of my horse?”
“Sure.”
“Danki, sohn.”
When the boy left the room, Zachariah gestured toward the chairs at the table. “Please, sit down, Luke.”
“I didn’t plan to stay.”
“Humor an old man. Sit for a spell.”
“You’re not so old, Zachariah.” Against his better judgment, Luke took a seat. He knew having him around made Emma uncomfortable. If he heard her coming downstairs, he’d leave.
Zachariah leaned back in his chair. “I feel as if I am a hundred today. How is your family?”
“Everyone is fine. I don’t know if Emma told you, but Samuel and Rebecca are expecting a child in May.” Luke’s oldest brother had married Zachariah’s niece a year ago. Rebecca and Emma had remained close friends.
“She mentioned it the other day. That is goot. A blessing to be sure. Is your father’s business keeping all your brothers busy?”
Luke’s father owned a woodworking shop. Luke and his four brothers as well as several other carpenters from the area made furniture for a high-end furniture dealer in Cincinnati. “We’ve been busy, but Daed plans to close for a month after Christmas and take Mamm down to Pinecrest, Florida, for a few weeks. They haven’t had a vacation in years. Mamm says she can’t take the cold the way she used to. She wants to visit the Amish settlement by the sea.”
“I understand how she feels. I have often wanted to go there myself. Luke, I wanted to talk to you because you’re a fellow who knows his way around machinery. I’ve collected a fair number of items that need some restoration work before they can be resold.”
Luke smiled. “You collect junk, Zachariah.”
The older man chuckled and gave Luke a wry smile. “Ja, I do. But not all of it is junk. Some of it just needs a little elbow grease and a knowing hand to set it to rights. I’ve heard you keep your father’s equipment in tiptop shape.”
Luke grimaced inwardly. He did now, but he hadn’t always been so diligent. An accident in which his oldest brother had been seriously injured made Luke realize how he had failed his family yet again. Now, he took every step of his work seriously. “I try to keep things in working order.”
Zachariah leaned forward. “I want to get my new hardware store open the Monday after Christmas. It’s almost finished. After that, I want to get this place in order over the winter. I want it ready for a farm sale in the spring. It’s time to get rid of it all.”
“That’s a tall order.” Zachariah owned numerous sheds and buildings crammed to the rafters with all manner of stuff. Clearing it out would be a monumental task.
“I know it’s a tall order. That’s why I’m looking for help. My boys and I can’t do it alone. Roy likes machinery and hardware. He has a gift for it. That’s why I want the hardware store finished. He’ll run it one day, but he doesn’t have the skill to get all of my broken-down machinery working. I’d like to hire you to help me for the next few months.”
“I already have a job.”
“Surely your father could spare you a few days a week. That’s all I’m asking for. A few days a week to look over what I have and see what can be repaired and fix it if you can.”
“I think Emma would rather you ask someone else.”
“Your breakup was a long time ago. It’s water under the bridge to her.”
Zachariah might see it that way, but Luke wasn’t so sur
e Emma did. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
Zachariah stared down at his hands for a long moment. When he looked up, Luke saw desperation in his eyes. “I’ve been remiss in not putting money aside for Emma’s dowry. Time just went by too fast. What I get from the sale of my machinery will go to her. She’ll marry soon. I don’t want her going to a new husband empty-handed. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. What do you say? Can you give me a hand?”
Emma was getting married? Luke shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was. Emma was old enough and a fine woman, but it still came as something of a shock. It was hard to imagine her as someone’s wife, but she deserved happiness. He wanted her to be happy.
Would helping secure her dowry make up in some small way for his treatment of her in the past? If so, then maybe he could finally put away that guilt.
* * *
Tears streamed down Emma’s face as she leaned against her bedroom door. She didn’t even like Luke anymore. So why did the thought of him risking his life for a chunk of metal turn her blood ice-cold?
He had risked his life to save Roy, too, and she hadn’t bothered to thank him.
His bravery she could admire, but she couldn’t bear his foolhardiness. He hadn’t changed. He would always be the same reckless man who broke her heart.
Rubbing her eyes with both hands, she faced the sad truth. She still went soft inside when Luke smiled at her. For some unknown reason, he still had a hold on her heart.
Until she remembered how irresponsible he was. Why couldn’t she get over this silly schoolgirl infatuation with him?
Sure, he was a fine-looking man with broad shoulders, slender hips and blond hair that curled just enough to make a girl want to comb it into order with her fingers. There were plenty of nice-looking men in her community, but none of them affected her the way Luke did. Her feelings didn’t change the fact that he had gone to prison for dealing drugs after he left the Amish.
It was wrong of her to hold any man’s past against him, but she couldn’t forget the way he had brushed aside her tender heart when she offered to give up everything and leave with him that night so many years ago. She’d learned a bitter lesson. Luke didn’t care about anyone but himself.
An Amish Noel Page 2