She thought she loved him then, but it hadn’t been true love. It had been a foolish teenage crush. He had been right to reject her. Now, she knew better than to believe he cared.
Scrubbing her cheeks vigorously to erase the past and the traces of her tears, Emma paced the confines of her small bedroom and struggled to regain her composure. It wasn’t just Luke. It was everything. Her father’s illness, his desire for her to marry quickly, finding out her brother was ten times more foolhardy than she believed possible—it all added up to a burden too big to carry alone. Luke Bowman’s arrival today was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back.
And she was a weak camel to begin with. She sat down on the edge of her bed, wishing she could start the day all over again and have it turn out differently.
A gentle tap at her door proved that wasn’t going to happen. “Emma?”
“Come in.”
Her father peeked around the door. “Are you all right?”
“Nee, I’m not. How can I be after your sad news today?”
He entered the room and sat down on the chair against the far wall. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his knees. “You will be fine. You are so much like your mother. She was a strong woman, too.”
He was wrong. Emma wasn’t strong, but he was being brave in the face of his illness. She could do no less. She would pretend to be brave. For him. “What are we going to do with Roy? He’s gone too far this time. He could have been killed. Alvin could have been killed. I think you should tell them how ill you are. Maybe that will shock them into behaving.”
“They will learn of it soon enough. Let them be boys for a few more weeks. Perhaps Roy’s dunking in the river has taught him a lesson.”
At sixteen, Roy was in his rumspringa, the years between childhood and adulthood when Amish youth were free to experience the outside world before they were baptized. Once an Amish man or woman chose to be baptized, they embraced the strict rules of the Amish faith, rejecting the outside world forever. If they chose to remain a part of the English world before baptism, they would be able to do so without being shunned by her church group, although not all Amish churches were so open-minded.
Emma had left her rumspringa behind at twenty and joined the faithful that same year. She knew Luke had yet to make that decision. He had been living Amish for a year and a half, ever since his release from prison, but he hadn’t taken his vows. At twenty-five, his family and the congregation would soon begin pressuring him to make a choice. He couldn’t stay on the fence forever. It was time to declare his intentions. Was he going to be Englisch or Amish?
She forced herself to stop thinking about him. “I pray you are right and Roy has learned his lesson, but he is hardheaded.”
“Like I was. There’s an old Amish proverb my father was fond of using. ‘Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first, then the lesson afterward.’”
“At least Alvin may not follow him so willingly in the future.” Alvin was a sensitive boy and not prone to troublemaking unless Roy put him up to it.
“Alvin looks up to Roy as only a younger brother can. It will take more than this incident to tarnish Roy’s image in Alvin’s eyes.”
Her father was probably right. “Did you look up to your older brother in such a fashion?”
Zachariah chuckled. “Your hair would turn gray if you knew half the things my brother, William, and I pulled when we were their ages.”
She giggled, amazed she could smile after all that she had learned. “You should go and visit him.” Her uncle and his wife along with her father’s sister had remained in Missouri when her father moved to Ohio twenty years ago. He had been to visit them only once in all that time.
“Before it’s too late, you mean? Don’t look so sad. You’re right. I should go. Perhaps I will after the New Year. Until then, I have a lot to do here.”
Besides farming, her father had always planned to open a hardware business that catered to a few of his Amish neighbors with things like lanterns, nuts, bolts and his prized key-cutting machine that was powered by an ancient diesel generator. Only the shell of the building had been completed. The rest of the things he had collected over the years were junk in her eyes, but occasionally someone needed a part for a broken bailer and Zachariah Swartzentruber was the man to see. He had five bailers in various stages of rust sitting in a long shed he’d built to house them. He never came home from market day empty-handed.
Tears pricked her eyes again. What would she do without him? The doctor had to be wrong. “The boys and I will help with whatever you need.”
“I know you will. I want to get my store finished and stocked by Christmas. I have loads of things just waiting to be put out on shelves.”
His store was a room he’d built off the side of the house. The roof was on and the walls were framed, but that was all. His shelves were nothing more than long boards stored in the shed alongside the rusting bailers. “Roy and Alvin can help you finish the store.”
“I need more help than they can give me. My hands are getting weak, and I can’t swing a hammer the way I once did. I need a man’s help.”
“You’re not going to ask Wayne Hochstetler, are you?” The idea of seeing him daily while the work was completed was troubling. What if she didn’t like him enough to walk out with him? How could she face him day after day knowing he was sizing her up to be his wife?
“Nee, for if Wayne has his mind on courting you, he might not be any use to me. A lovesick fellow often makes a poor worker.”
“Then there are a number of young men who should suit your needs nicely. How much will this cost?”
He rose and cupped her cheek with his hand. “Don’t worry your head about it, daughter. Buy the material for a new dress, and let me worry about the money.”
“All right.” She smiled for him.
“That’s my girl.” He started to leave the room.
“I’ll put an ad for a hired man in the newspaper tomorrow.”
“No need. I’ve already hired someone. He starts on Monday.”
Her heart dropped like a rock and she closed her eyes. Please, please, please, don’t let it be him.
“Who did you hire, Daed?”
Chapter Three
“I don’t feel so goot. I don’t think I’m ready to go home.”
Luke suppressed a smile at Roy’s downcast expression as he sat on the edge of the boy’s bed the following morning. Roy looked less like a drowned rat today and more like a fella ready to get up to mischief as soon as Rebecca let him out of bed. Both of them knew better than to make that move without her permission. Luke’s sister-in-law was a force to be reckoned with. She and Emma were cut from the same cloth.
Why hadn’t Rebecca mentioned that Emma was seeing someone? While most Amish sweethearts kept their relationship a tightly guarded secret from the community until the banns were read a few weeks before the wedding, family members usually knew what was going on when a couple became serious. Zachariah’s announcement yesterday had hit Luke like a ton of bricks, although he wasn’t sure why.
That was a lie. He knew why. Emma held a place in his heart that no other woman had been able to fill.
She should marry. Wasn’t that why he had stepped aside all those years ago? Because he wanted her to be happy? He wanted her to build a life in the Amish community where they had grown up. Emma belonged here. She embraced the Amish way of life. It was something he had never been able to do.
All through the rough times when he was on drugs and then behind bars, he imagined Emma living a contented life. He was able to find comfort in that. It had soothed the pain of knowing how poorly he’d treated her. His words that night had been cruel, but they had been for her own good. He knew how much her family was going to need her. He had learned her mother didn’t have long to live, but he h
ad been forbidden to tell anyone, even Emma.
Roy plucked at the covers. “I think I should stay here another day or two.”
“You’re fine. You’re just afraid of what your daed is gonna do.”
“Not daed. Emma. She has a way of looking at you that makes you feel two inches tall.”
“I’ve seen that look. Your daed didn’t seem well when I saw him yesterday.”
“He’s been feeling poorly for a spell, but he saw the doctor yesterday. I’m sure he’ll be better soon.”
“Until then, I reckon that means he needs you and your brother’s help more than ever with the farm chores.”
Roy glanced from beneath his lashes at Luke. “Was he mad at Alvin?”
“A bit. Emma more so.”
“There’s no surprise.” Roy rolled his eyes, forcing Luke to hide another grim.
“Mostly they’re thankful both you boys survived. It was a dumb stunt.”
Roy scowled. “Micah and I watched you ride a snowmobile up and down that river a few years ago.”
“It was a dumb stunt when I did it, too. Micah who?”
“Micah Yoder. We thought it looked like mighty goot fun. He would have enjoyed it.”
“I’m sure he would until he ended up in the water. Not so much fun then, was it? It could easily have been your brother lying here in your place. Or worse. You know that, don’t you?”
A stoic expression settled on Roy’s face. “Ja. I know.”
Luke waited a few moments to let that thought soak in. “Your father mentioned he wants to get some of his equipment ready to sell in the spring. He asked for my help to repair some of his machinery. He offered to hire me for a couple of months.”
Roy’s face split into a wide grin as he scooted up in bed and leaned against the headboard. “Are you gonna take the job? That would be wunderbar.”
“I’m glad you like the idea.” Luke still didn’t know what had come over him. He never should have accepted Zachariah’s offer. He hadn’t even spoken to his own father yet.
“I have so many things to ask you, Luke. You know everything about life in the city and about the things an Amish guy needs to do if he wants to live English. You can teach me that stuff, can’t you? I’m a quick learner.”
A chuckle made Luke look over his shoulder. His brother Samuel stood in the doorway. Samuel’s face still bore the faint scars of the burns he had suffered when their gasoline generator exploded. Luke’s carelessness had contributed to the accident. He knew Samuel had forgiven him, but he had a hard time forgiving himself. His one consolation was that Samuel’s need for a nurse after the accident had brought Rebecca into their lives. Samuel considered Rebecca’s love well worth the pain he had suffered.
Samuel advanced into the room. “Luke can teach you how to get into trouble anywhere, Roy. Amish or Englisch trouble, it doesn’t matter to him. I’d avoid his company if I were you.”
“He sure saved my hide yesterday.”
“And the lesson learned from this?” Luke prompted.
“Don’t take a snowmobile out on the river no matter how thick the ice looks.”
Luke shook his head. He recognized a restless spirit in Roy. It was the same restlessness that had filled him at that age. “The lesson is to stay off snowmobiles and all Englisch machines.”
Roy cast him a sheepish look. “I doubt I’ll get the chance to ride one again since I almost ruined Mr. Morgan’s.”
Luke thumped his finger into Roy’s chest. “It serves you right. Just so you know, Jim Morgan came by to collect his machine. His brother isn’t going to be riding for a while, either. Jim wasn’t happy to hear Brian let you boys ride off without adult supervision.”
Samuel chuckled again. “That is the pot calling the kettle black. You and Jim were always up to no good when the adults weren’t looking. He’s the one who taught you to drive a car when you didn’t have a license.”
Luke frowned at his brother. “You’re not helping, Samuel.”
His brother laughed again. “Daed wants to see you downstairs.”
Luke nodded and rose to his feet. “Okay. I’ll check on you later, Roy. Stay in bed or Rebecca will have your head on a platter and mine, too.”
Luke followed Samuel out of the spare bedroom. In the hallway, Samuel gave him a sidelong glance. “You took a job working for Zachariah? You’re joking, right?”
“I don’t know what happened. I opened my mouth to refuse, but that wasn’t what came out. I agreed to a part-time job for a few months. Maybe more.”
“What were you thinking? Did sticking your head under the ice freeze your pea-size brain?”
“Maybe so.” Until recently, Samuel’s teasing would have made Luke fighting mad, but these days the brothers had come to understand and respect each other.
“There’s no maybe about it. Then again, it will get you out from under my feet.”
“Sammy, you’ll come crawling to find me the second that finicky planer jams again, begging me to fix it.”
“On bended knee. You’re the only one who can coax that machine to do its job. Zachariah might have made a smart move getting you to help him.”
Working for Zachariah was a bad idea for so many reasons. Number one—Emma would hate having him around.
Number two—he already had a job working for his father in the family’s woodworking and gift shop. He wasn’t sure his father could spare him.
Number three—Emma would hate having him around.
His parents were sitting at the kitchen table when he came downstairs. The fact that his mother wasn’t offering him food proved it was going to be a serious talk. His father folded his hands in front of him. “What is this about you taking another job?”
Luke looked back and forth between them. “How did you find out?”
“Rebecca spoke to Emma this morning.”
Luke shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants. The Amish might not use telephones, but that didn’t stop news from spreading like wildfire. “Zachariah talked me into a part-time job working for him. It was a mistake. I’ll tell him I’ve changed my mind or that you can’t spare me.”
“What sort of job is it?” his mother asked.
“He wants help finishing his hardware store before Christmas. It would be mostly simple carpentry, stocking shelves and taking inventory. I don’t think the man knows half of what he has stashed away.”
Samuel rubbed a hand over his new beard, the one he’d started growing after his marriage, and scratched at his chin. “Luke, you suggested that we add a hardware section to our gift shop. I’ve been seriously considering it. Won’t Zachariah be in competition with us?”
Luke’s father snorted. “In all the years I’ve known him, Zachariah Swartzentruber has rarely finished a project he started. He won’t become our competition. I doubt he’ll ever complete his store.”
“Isaac, that is unkind,” his mother said with a sharp-eyed scowl at her mate. “Our neighbor has asked Luke for help. What do you think, Samuel? Can we spare Luke for a few weeks? Don’t forget, your father and I will be gone to Florida for a month after Christmas.”
Samuel fixed his gaze on Luke. “Will you have to notify your parole officer that you have a new job? Working and living here was one of the conditions of your early release, wasn’t it?”
It wasn’t common knowledge that he was still on parole. Only a few people outside the immediate family knew. His parents didn’t like to discuss anything to do with his time in prison. He had caused them enough embarrassment in the community. He was surprised his brother mentioned it in front of them. “I’m not moving, and it would be in addition to my work here, so it shouldn’t make a difference.”
Samuel propped his hands on his hips. “If a neighbor needs help, we must give it. We can spare you, Luke. We’re
caught up on our Christmas orders for both the gift shop and the woodshop. Unless we get more than a few rush orders, Timothy, Noah and I can handle your work. As long as you can make any equipment repairs we need.”
“You don’t have to pick up my slack. I’ll tell Zachariah I can’t do it.”
“How is Emma?” his mother asked with a look of innocence.
Suspicious at the abrupt change of topic, Luke shrugged. “Fine as far as I know. Ask Rebecca. She’ll know more than I do.”
“Won’t it be hard for Emma to have you at her home? The two of you were close once. She was broken-hearted when you left.”
His father shook his head. “That was a long time ago, mudder. They were kinder.”
Luke avoided his mother’s sharp gaze. He and Emma hadn’t been children, but they had been too young to know what love was. He tried for an offhand tone. “I’m sure Emma couldn’t care less if I work with her father or not.”
“You are right about that.” A cold voice he recognized came from behind him.
He spun around to see Emma and Rebecca standing in the doorway to the living room. They must have come in through the back door, for both women wore their traveling bonnets and cloaks. Emma had a fixed smile pasted on her face. Rebecca shook her head and glared at him.
His mother rose to her feet. “Emma, how nice to see you. If this arrangement is all right with you, then it’s okay with us. Luke can work for your father.”
Great. Now he was stuck with the job. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe if he and Emma spent some time together they could put the past to rest and start over. He wasn’t expecting friendship, but he hoped for something more civil than the icy stare he was getting at the moment.
“How is Roy?” Rebecca asked, pulling off her bonnet.
“Goot,” Samuel said. “He’s been a better patient than I was.”
She laughed. “That wouldn’t take much. Come, Emma, I’ll show you up to his room. He was very blessed that Luke was able to reach him under the ice and pull him out. I hope he knows that.”
An Amish Noel Page 3