Becoming His, Learning to Breathe: Part Two - The Collective - Season 1, Episode 8

by Ellie Masters

  They? Ellen placed particular emphasis on that word.

  Derek huffed out a sigh. “Thank you. We’ll be there in a moment.”

  Ellen left, pulling the door shut.

  “Derek…” she began. “I—”

  He took her hand and laced their fingers together, the gesture both gentle and possessive. “I’m happy to see your excitement, but in this, I set the pace. There’re too many pitfalls we can encounter by moving too fast. I meant what I said…”

  Damn, he’d said a lot of things. Which one was he referring to?

  “You will be my last.”

  He stood and drew her up against him, lifting her without effort. A quick glance from her head to toes, and back up where he lingered on her breasts, brought a smile back to his face. The look was long enough and needy enough to bring heat flooding her face. The man had no problems letting her know exactly what he wanted.

  “Now,” he said, “I do believe I mentioned a surprise.”

  The surprise! As if a private concert of the nation’s A-listers wasn’t treat enough.

  “I can’t wait,” she said. “I love your surprises.”

  “Good.” He lifted her off her feet, planting a bruising kiss on her mouth. “Because I love giving you rewards, nearly as much as I’m looking forward to all the rest.”

  Nearly? “Oh!”

  He led her out and back toward the tents. The flutter in her belly disappeared between one breath and the next when she saw the stage. Standing front and center, her favorite female singer had her hand wrapped around a microphone. Shadow and Flame was an up and coming band. They didn’t draw sold out venues like Angel Fire or Beneath the Burn, but they might someday soon. They had talent and that special something which made them unforgettable.

  Rhianna Rain scanned the crowd. Her magnetic gaze took everyone in. The first strings of The Lovers rolled over the crowd, a tsunami of sound rushing toward Sally with the force of brilliance. Rhianna took in a breath and belted out the first haunting lyrics.

  Sally clasped her hands under her chin, spellbound by the depth of Derek’s surprise. How he’d managed to get Shadow and Flame to play at this concert was beyond her, but she was beginning to think there wasn’t anything Derek couldn’t do once he set his mind to it.

  “You like?” he asked.

  The profoundness of Rhianna’s stage presence had her spellbound. “You did this for me?” George was going to be pissed once he found out she’d been at an exclusive concert with their favorite band. He didn’t care much for Rhianna. It was the blue-haired siren who captivated his attention.

  “Do you want to go up close?” Derek asked. “I can arrange for you to meet her after the set.”

  “Oh, no,” she gasped. “This is fine.” She’d much rather keep Rhianna on stage, rather than meet in person. There was a mystery about the band she didn’t want to ruin by coming face-to-face with her idol. Sometimes, it was best to leave those people alone.

  “And the song?” he asked. “What do you think of it?”

  The Lovers? She turned to him, eyes wide and heart pounding. “Did you set this up?”

  “For you, although I’m surprised you don’t want to meet them.”

  “I don’t. I prefer to keep them a mystery.”

  She grabbed his hands and wrapped them around her waist. His muscular frame towered over her, and he nuzzled her neck.

  “It means something to me,” he said.

  “That song?”

  “Yes.”

  She spun in his arms, wanting to look at him when he revealed the song’s personal meaning to him.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Lovers,” he said. “That is what we’re becoming. First and foremost, we come together as lovers, maybe even friends.” He drew a line along the curve of her throat, right where a collar might one day rest. “All the rest, whether dominant and submissive, or even master and slave, were lovers first. Do you understand?”

  She bit her lower lip, realizing he envisioned a long future. It stirred her heart because she wanted it, too. When she’d said she wasn’t a one-night stand kind of girl, she’d meant it. George’s goals differed from hers. He’d simply wanted her out of the house, to recover from her funk. He’d wanted her to live again, and in his words ‘get laid.’

  The idea of a meaningless fuck had left her content to eat in and never explore the possibility of another date. When she’d gone to see The Nutcracker it hadn’t been with the intention to be with anyone. She’d gone alone with simple goals. All she’d wanted was to get out of the house. What she found was something miraculous in the dark and mysterious Derek LeMark.

  “I want that,” she said. “I want it all. But, I’m scared, Derek. I’m terrified of disappointing you. I don’t know if we’re moving too fast, or not fast enough, and I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You’re not going to lose me,” he said. “Now, do you want to stay and watch the rest of the set, or do you want to explore what more might be like?”

  Part III

  A Whirlwind

  White Roses

  “I want more,” she said. “But, aren’t we supposed to discuss limits?”

  She’d read all about limits in both The Submissive’s Journey and Dominant Desires’ blogs. There’d been a score of similar blogs she’d devoured as well. All of them spoke about the importance of setting limits.

  “That’s exactly my intent, but I don’t want to push,” he said. “Are you ready to discuss limits?”

  Her insides twisted with a nervous energy, more of an excited flutter really. Once they discussed limits, she would formally hand over control. At least, that’s how it had been described in the blogs. Right now, there seemed to be an understanding between them, and the sex they’d had, as toe-curling and earth-shattering as it had been, could still be labeled vanilla by the BDSM crowd. They were feeling their way around. Or rather, Derek was letting her discover at her own pace. Well, he may have been giving a rather insistent nudge, but she needed that. Left to her own, she’d never travel this path.

  It was time to decide what she would and wouldn’t allow.

  “I am.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled against his chest. “I’m about three parts terrified and one part excited to have this talk… if I’m being perfectly honest.”

  He huffed a laugh. “God, your honesty is a breath of fresh air. You have no idea how intoxicating that is.” He reached between them, his hand snaking down to adjust his hardening length. “I’m not sure we’re ever going to make it around to having that conversation because when I’m with you, all I can think about is fucking your brains out, or eating that sweet pussy of yours. Whatever it takes to make you scream.”

  She peeked up at him. “I don’t mind that.”

  “Well, you see, I want the good screams and the bad,” he said.

  “The bad?”

  “The ones which come before the good ones. The screams which spin your head, flip you around, and having you flying. Pain and pleasure, Sally. I need them both, and I believe you do, too.”

  “Oh,” she said. “You’re a sadist.”

  “I’m a dominant and a sadist. I thrive on control as much as inflicting pain. I find them to be equally addictive drugs, and I’m a happy addict. Does that change your mind?”

  “Um…”

  “How about this? When I tell you I know which images you liked on my page, does that change your mind?”

  That had been his page? The one with all the images? Shit, she’d handed over her deepest desires without even realizing it.

  “If that’s the case, then you already know my limits.”

  “Everything I assigned had a purpose. I can’t lead if I don’t understand what drives you, what excites you, what turns you on, and what turns you off.”

  “I didn’t realize.”

  “Your responses on that page were honest. You spoke to the desires hidden within. I have a better idea what drives you, but we still need
to discuss limits.”

  “I wish I’d known.”

  “You would’ve held back,” he said. “I needed to know what was in your heart.” He pointed to her chest. “But even more…” He pointed to her forehead. “I need to know what drives your mind.”

  Well, she was still with him. Her answers must be rather close to what he desired.

  “Answer my question,” he pressed. “Are you ready to discuss limits?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “If we don’t, you’ll never know the exquisite pleasure a flogger can bring, or a strap, a belt, or perhaps even a cane. You won’t know the bliss of being tied to a Saint Andrews cross, or draped over a bench.”

  “Now, I’m terrified again.”

  He gripped her chin and forced her to look up. “I seem to remember an awfully wet pussy after I spanked your ass.”

  “But that…that was different.”

  “Hmm,” he said.

  “What?”

  “You’ve just opened the gates to heaven, my pet.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “I want you to sit at my feet, and kneel before me. I want it to mean something, not be an act. I want to lead you, control you, and when necessary, punish you. I believe you get off on that nearly as much as I do.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “I derive pleasure from inflicting pain. I love spanking a woman past the point of her endurance. I love the feel of a whip in my hands, the crack as it flies through the air, and that moment when it contacts tender flesh. Your screams excite me, thinking about it makes my cock twitch. That rush of power is indescribable, similar yet different from what you experience when you choose to kneel at my feet. I want to push you to that point and beyond, where I feel the rush, and you spiral into oblivion. Does that make sense?”

  She’d only knelt at his feet to give him a blowjob, but that wasn’t what he meant. Derek spoke of the future as if it were a foregone conclusion.

  “Y-y-yes,” she managed. His words brought a flush to her cheeks.

  “I thrive on control. I want to know I can have you whenever, and however, I want. I don’t want to spend my life negotiating sex. I want you to forego your desires to serve mine. I need you to trust me and believe that in seeking my desires, I’ll take care of yours.”

  “What if I can’t give you that?” Her head was filled with doubts. Her heart had other thoughts. “I have so many questions.”

  “Having questions is natural. I…” His face clouded over, a brooding look full of pain. “Here is something I think you need to know. There was this woman,” he said. “Nikki came to me needing certain things, or so she thought. We dated, played around. She was looking for something, fell into my lap, then ran out of my life.”

  Why was he telling her about another woman? She unlaced her fingers and dropped her hands from around his waist.

  He kissed her brow. “Before you withdraw, or get angry about a woman from my past, you need to listen.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “You did.” His brusque tone forced her to look at him. “I moved too fast with Nikki. She did the same with me, lying to herself as well as me. She played with something she didn’t understand. It ended, not badly, but with lessons learned on both sides. We parted without hard feelings after some very honest conversations, but I’ll never forgive myself for hurting her.”

  “You still care for her?”

  “We were engaged,” he said. “At one time, I thought I loved her, but it was only an infatuation. I still care about her, and I’ve checked in on her from time to time, but not as a lover, not even really as a friend. I have a sense of responsibility to her. You could say, I monitor her from afar, at least until another man steps up.”

  “Oh.”

  “Not ‘Oh,’” he said. “I’m telling you because I learned a valuable lesson. I’m not ashamed of my past. I don’t regret it, and I don’t mind sharing it with you. I also won’t hide it from you.”

  “What did you learn?”

  “To communicate before rushing in.”

  “Are we rushing in? Do you think I’m moving too fast? After all, you live this life. I’m still learning the vocabulary.”

  “Having doubts is natural. If you dove headlong into this, I’d have serious concerns about your sanity. But, I think you’re ready to give it a chance. You’re a natural.”

  “How’s that?”

  “You get off on giving up control. Your body responds to pain. Your mind thrives on obeying my commands. This lifestyle is for you.”

  How did he sound so certain, when one moment she wanted to embrace everything and the next she wanted to run away?

  Copying his actions from earlier, she pointed to her chest. “I feel that here. Like, I really feel it.” Pointing to her temple, she continued, “But up here, I’m still wrapping my head around it.”

  “Just remember, my pet,” he said in that rolling baritone which sent her heart to fluttering. “Any man can fuck your body. It takes a Master to make love to your mind, to delve inside your darkest fears and uncover your most sinful desires. A Master loves the submissive hidden within, while a man fucks the woman outside. I intend to earn my place.”

  “As my Master?”

  “If that’s what we choose.”

  “I…I want to explore that possibility, but I’m smart enough to know, I’m not ready for that yet.”

  “I know.” He looked over her head and took in the crowd she’d forgotten about. “Come, let’s find someplace a little quieter to have this talk. Let me show you the gardens.”

  Shadow and Flame were jamming it on stage. She’d love to stay and watch, but enjoying a concert wouldn’t happen with Derek standing by her side. He had a way of sucking the air out of the room and making it impossible to breathe.

  “Okay,” she said, taking his hand.

  His grip swallowed her much smaller hand, curving gently around to cup her fingers. Derek took off, heading away from the tents and the concert. Angling around the side of the massive home, he headed toward a trellised courtyard.

  Beneath their feet, the manicured lawn gave way to flagstones. The space between the flagstones, initially filled with grass, deepened and widened until water flowed in the cracks. The paths of the gentle streams merged and split again in a wonderfully crafted chaos. And the air! It was filled with the delicious aroma of hundreds of roses in bloom.

  “This is amazing,” she exclaimed. “Ellen designed this?”

  “She did. That woman is an artist.”

  “And are you a patron of hers, too?”

  He nodded. “Ballet, rock bands, and landscape designers.”

  “Why?”

  “I value art, I suppose.”

  “You suppose?”

  “Well, it’s not one of my gifts. I can’t sing. Don’t really dance. And can’t draw to save my life. I appreciate the skill of those who can, and since I’ve been blessed with the uncanny ability to accrue wealth, I shower it upon those I admire.”

  “You’re a true patron,” she said. “I admire that.”

  “Why, thank you, Miss Sally Levenson.”

  A patio sat in the back corner with a collection of outdoor furniture arranged into several small conversational groups. He led her toward it. In the middle of the patio, a large round table had been decorated with hundreds of roses. The centerpiece overflowed with roses from the garden, arching up and cascading downward like a fountain. Whoever had designed it had used the different rose colors to evoke a feeling of rushing water.

  Six places had been set. Three plates were bare. Alternating with those, the remaining three place settings were filled with flowers. One had deep red miniature roses laid out in the center of the plate in the shape of a heart.

  “Oh,” she said. “Dark red; the color of love.”

  “Indeed,” Derek said with a snicker.

  Another plate held deep amber rose petals. They were scattered all over the plate.

  “W
hat does that color represent?” he asked.

  “That’s a fire rose, the color of passion,” she said.

  “Never picked you to be an expert on roses.”

  “I’m not. It’s a thing George and I do.”

  “George,” Derek said, twisting her best friend’s name with a growl.

  “George is my bestie,” she said with a playful slap. “You know this.”

  “He’s a man.”

  “Ha! Don’t worry about George.”

  “How can I not?”

  “Because,” she said with a giggle, “he bats for the other team.”

  “Oh, well, in that case, I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Like you even have a choice. Nothing happens without George’s seal of approval.”

  “Nothing?” Derek arched a brow. “I’d say a whole hell of a lot of nothing has happened already. What’s he going to think when he finds out I love strapping you down and paddling your ass?”

  “Derek!”

  “You said everything.”

  “Well…he kind of already knows about that.”

  “And?”

  “He found Dominant Desires fascinating.”

  “Ah, he’s in the lifestyle?”

  “I guess. He seemed to be familiar with the lingo, and that website seemed to peak his interest.”

  “He’s a Dom?”

  “George?” She laughed. “Not George. I told you, he’s a lot like me. I think he has the hots for that Master D.”

  Derek walked around the table, pulling her with him. He pointed at the third plate, the one with tiny, delicate white roses arranged in a perfect circle. A single large red rosebud had been placed directly in the middle.

  “What do you think this one means?”

  “Well, white is the color of purity. And we already talked about red.”

  “True, but what does it mean?”

  Ellen glided down the path and called out to them. “That boy thinks of every damn detail. Figured out yet which plate is for you?”

  Sally released Derek’s hand. “This is for us?”

  “For the group,” he said. “I like to make an impression.”