Kat Got Your Tongue

by Lee Weatherly

  I nodded stiffly, trying to hold back the tears. ‘I just … I can't believe that I did the same thing to Tina,’ I whispered. ‘Mum, how could I have done that?'

  She put her arm around me, hugging me close. ‘Kat, it's all right. I'll ring her father, and we'll make things right, somehow. We will.'

  I took a deep breath. ‘No. I've got to do it myself. I did it to her, and I've got to make it up to her.'

  Mum shook her head. ‘Kat, darling, you can't do it on your own. You need help.'

  ‘But you didn't do it!’ I cried. The hot chocolate, cold now, sloshed in its cup as I put it back on the tray. ‘It was me! I can't hide behind you, I've got to make things right on my own!'

  Mum and Richard looked at each other. Mum started to say something, and stopped.

  ‘Let me try,’ I pleaded. ‘Let me just try, OK?'

  ‘All right,’ said Mum finally. ‘But talk to me, Kat, OK? Let me know what's happening. And I'm going to have to ring her dad tomorrow after school, regardless.'

  ‘OK,’ I agreed softly. Guilt speared through me. Because I hadn't told her anything at all about what was happening at school, and I knew I wasn't going to.

  It was for me to deal with, no matter how scared I was.

  It was almost midnight when my mobile beeped with a new text: 2MORROW BEFORE SCHOOL, IN THE GIRLS’ LOO BY THE CANTEEN. WE WANT 2 TALK 2 U.

  Poppy was waiting for me inside the courtyard when I got to school the next morning. I showed her the text from Jade and she grimaced. ‘Not good. She and Tina are definitely up to something.'

  No, really? But that wasn't the important thing now. Tina was.

  I put my mobile back in my coat pocket, and my fingers brushed against the deck of cards. For a second I couldn't think what they were doing there, and then I remembered sticking them in my pocket the day before, in case I had to wait ages to see Dr Perrin.

  Great. I could impress Tina with card tricks; that would make up for everything.

  I glanced at Poppy, tried to smile. ‘I better go.’

  ‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Worry creased her round face.

  I was holding a plastic carrier bag, and I shook my head, tightening my grip on it. ‘No. I'll tell you what happened later.'

  ‘Kat! Are you sure? I could help, maybe, if—’

  ‘No!’ I snapped, gripping the bag so tightly that my fingers hurt. I took a deep breath. ‘Sorry. No, OK? I've got to go.'

  When I got to the girls’ loo, Tina and Jade were there waiting for me. Jade leaned against the sinks with her arms over her chest. My bag was beside her, stuffed into the next sink along. Tina stood by the window, hugging herself.

  Jade straightened up slowly when she saw me. ‘I didn't think you'd come.'

  I looked over at Tina. ‘I had to. I – Tina, listen, I'm so sorry! I know what I did, and – and I don't know how I could have done it. I'm really, really sorry.'

  Tina's cheeks reddened. ‘Oh. Do you remember now?'

  I flushed. ‘No, not really – I—’

  ‘No, you just wanted to get this,’ interrupted Jade. She reached into my bag and took out the cat statue. She passed it from hand to hand, watching me.

  ‘That's not why,’ I told her. But my skin chilled, and I couldn't take my eyes off the cat. I saw my dad, swinging my violin back and forth. And suddenly another memory came into focus.

  Cat. Dad had given me Cat, from his collection of ancient Egypt stuff. It was a real relic, thousands of years old, and had cost loads of money – but Dad knew how much I loved it, and he had just given it to me one day, without my even asking. I knew then that he had to love me. He really did, no matter how he acted sometimes.

  ‘You took my bag,’ I said to Jade.

  She lifted a black eyebrow, giving me a level look. ‘I didn't, actually.'

  ‘No, I did.’ Tina's chin jerked up.

  ‘Why?’ I whispered.

  ‘Because it's what you did to me, isn't it?’ Tina's voice trembled. ‘It's only fair. Go on, Jade.'

  ‘Right, then.’ Jade held Cat up in the air, dangling him by the head. ‘What we have here seems to be something that Kathy cares about, since she had it wrapped up so carefully in her bag. No, hang on – is it even yours?’ she shot at me. ‘Or did you steal that too?'

  ‘It's mine,’ I whispered. I stared at Cat, hanging so casually from her fingers above the hard tile floor. I wanted to talk to Tina, to tell her again how sorry I was, but the words froze in my throat.

  Jade nodded. ‘So you know what it's like to be worried about it, yeah?’ She held Cat as high as she could over her head … and then let him drop. I gasped as she snatched him out of the air with her other hand.

  Oh, please, I thought. Not Cat. It's the only thing I have from my dad …

  Jade laughed. ‘Not so nice, is it? Let's see, what shall we do next?'

  ‘No! Tina, wait … I found this.’ I scrambled to reach into the carrier bag, and pulled out my journal. Its shiny black cover glinted in the light.

  ‘It's something I want you to read,’ I said.

  Frowning, Tina took the journal from me slowly, looking down at it. I swallowed, trying to find the right words. ‘I think … I think I really liked you, Tina. But, Jade, you were right, I was jealous.’ I glanced at her, still leaning against the sinks. Her dark eyebrows were drawn together uncertainly. ‘I was jealous, and I couldn't deal with it. But I was completely wrong … and I'm sorry.'

  Tina didn't move. She stood staring down at my journal, like she was trying to hold in a thousand emotions.

  ‘Yeah, well maybe that's not good enough,’ said Jade. ‘You say you're sorry and that's it? Here you go, Tina, your choice.'

  She tossed Cat to Tina. Tina looked up and caught him, fumbling a bit. I stiffened.

  Tina stared at me, her eyes wide and uncertain. Then she dropped my journal onto the floor. It fell with a clatter, lying splayed and useless on the tiles. She held Cat up in the air, her hand deathly steady as her eyes bored into mine. ‘Right, Kathy. This is what you deserve, isn't it?'

  I felt hot and cold at the same time. ‘Go on, then,’ I said softly. ‘Smash it.'

  Her expression loosened with surprise. ‘You can't care that much about it, then!'

  ‘You're wrong,’ I told her. My voice shook, and I swallowed hard. ‘You're so completely wrong. It's – it's the only thing I have from my dad. But—’ I glanced at Jade. She stood frozen, staring at me. I looked back at Tina, and steeled my spine.

  ‘Smash it,’ I said.

  She didn't move.

  ‘Smash it!’ I yelled. ‘You know you want to do it, so go ahead!'

  ‘Fine!’ she screamed back. In a single motion she stretched her arm back and threw Cat against the wall.

  ‘No!'

  For a second I thought it was me who had shouted the word. But it was Jade. She lunged for the wall, grabbing Cat before he hit it.

  I gasped, managing not to cry. Tina pressed a hand over her eyes. Her shoulders shook.

  ‘Here.’ Jade thrust Cat at me, her face contorted. ‘Take it! We weren't going to actually do it.’ She whirled round to face Tina. ‘You weren't supposed to actually do it! We were just going to scare her, remember?'

  Crying, Tina pushed past Jade and ran out of the door, just as the first bell rang.

  I stared at Jade. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered, clutching Cat.

  She turned quickly away, looking like she was going to burst into tears. ‘Forget it! Just – forget it.'

  I started to say something else and stopped. There'd be time to talk to Jade later. Shoving Cat in my pocket, I grabbed my journal and went after Tina, running as fast as I could.

  Tina darted through the corridors, her ginger plaits flying. I pounded after her, weaving my way through the stream of black uniforms. ‘Oi, watch where you're going!’ snapped someone.

  She ran straight out of the front door. I followed her, ignoring the receptionist, who stood up and called, ‘You two girl
s! Get back here, you don't have permission to leave!’ Her voice faded behind me as I ran down the front steps.

  Once we were away from the school, Tina slowed to a brisk walk, hugging herself. I slowed down too, and she stopped suddenly, glaring over her shoulder at me. ‘What do you want? Can't you just leave me alone?'

  My footsteps echoed against the pavement as I came up alongside her. ‘I'll leave you alone if you want,’ I said softly. ‘But I really want you to have this.’ I offered her the journal again. ‘Please? You don't even have to read it; you can burn it if you want! But please take it.'

  She hesitated for a long moment. Finally she took it from me, holding it against her chest. Tears welled up in her eyes. ‘You … you really had amnesia, didn't you?’ she whispered. ‘You weren't putting it on.'

  I nodded, suddenly feeling totally exhausted. Like I could curl up on the pavement and sleep for a week. ‘Yeah, I really had it. I still do, pretty much. I've remembered a couple of things, but …’ I trailed off, not wanting to think about my dad. I'd have to at some point; I knew that, but … not now.

  I gripped my elbow against my side. ‘Why didn't you tell your dad what I did?’ I asked. ‘Or Mrs Boucher, or somebody?'

  Tina's face crumpled a bit. She looked down at my journal. ‘I – I didn't want my dad to know. It was his father's violin; he'd be so upset – I mean, you can't imagine. So I just told him it was stolen, and that was awful enough.'

  I took a trembling breath. ‘Tina, look … I told my mum what I did. She's going to ring your dad tonight and talk to him about it … so he's going to find out what happened. I'm sorry. I'll tell her not to if you want, but – but I think she'll probably do it anyway.'

  She bit her lip and didn't say anything for a moment. ‘That's OK,’ she said finally. ‘I think he figured something was wrong anyway.'

  Her fingers tightened on the journal. ‘Kat … why did you run out into the road?'

  ‘I don't know,’ I said softly. ‘I don't even know why I went to school that day, except – except I guess I was too ashamed to tell my mum what had happened. Maybe that's why I ran. I was too ashamed to face you; I wasn't even thinking straight.'

  There was a long pause. Tina glanced over her shoulder at the school, and then at me.

  ‘Do you want to bunk off?’ she said.

  It was probably the very last thing I had expected her to say. I gaped at her. ‘What – together?'

  Her eyes were a very clear blue, like chips of sky. She shrugged. ‘Well, I don't really feel like going to school today. Do you?'

  ‘No, but – what if someone catches us? The police or someone?'

  She smiled. ‘So what? I've always wanted a criminal record.'

  * * *

  We walked the mile or so into town, not talking much. And we didn't do all that much when we got there – we just bought a couple of sausage rolls and looked around the shops, trying a few things on. I glanced at my reflection, seeing a girl with wavy dark hair and green eyes who wasn't a stranger any more.

  ‘There's nothing good here,’ said Tina, putting a black miniskirt back on the rail. ‘Let's go somewhere else.'

  We wandered the rest of the way through town, and finally passed by a music shop, over by the library. Tina hesitated in front of the window, glancing at me. ‘Do you want to go in?'

  I nodded slowly, looking at the gleaming curve of saxophones on display. ‘Sure.'

  The violins were at the back. We stood looking at them without saying anything, but I knew that Tina felt the same as I did, that she was admiring how the light stroked the rich wood. A man with a black moustache came over to us, looking a bit suspiciously at our uniforms.

  ‘Do you girls play?’ he asked.

  Tina nodded at the same time that I shook my head. She gave me an oh, right! look.

  ‘You do play,’ she said. ‘You're miles better than me.’

  My cheeks heated up. ‘No, that was before! I don't know how any more.'

  The man took one of the violins down. ‘Has it been a while, then? Never mind, it soon comes back. Here, why don't you give it a go?'

  I took the violin from him, even though I didn't have a clue how to hold it. It was heavier than I had expected. Tina helped me, arranging my fingers on the bow. ‘There you go,’ she said.

  Feeling like an idiot, I stood up straight and pulled the bow across the strings. A sound like a screeching cat rang through the shop. I looked at Tina and we burst out laughing. ‘OK, you were right,’ she said. ‘Bad idea.'

  ‘Thanks anyway,’ I said to the man, handing the violin back. He sniffed and adjusted it back on its stand very precisely, like he thought we had completely insulted it.

  We bought sandwiches and crisps for lunch, and sat eating them on benches beside a small park. Tina drew her knees up to her chest and stared at the sky. ‘This is nice,’ she said.

  ‘Yeah.’ I gazed up at the clouds, remembering what Nana had said about seeing the world freshly. If I got all of my memory back, would I get all blasé about things like a gorgeous sky, like they didn't matter any more? Or would I remember how important it was?

  I didn't think I could ever forget. I really didn't.

  I let my head drop against the back of the bench, thinking of Kathy. Of the person I had been. I sort of felt as though I knew her now. And maybe I hated some of the things she had done, but I couldn't hate her. Not ever.

  In fact … I thought she was pretty OK.

  I touched my scar, my fingers lingering across its jagged length. And I knew suddenly that I'd be sorry when it faded. It sounded daft, but it was like the last link I had with Kathy.

  Except that wasn't true, was it? Swallowing a crisp, I remembered how the bow had felt in my hands, and I smiled. Maybe I'd take Mum up on her offer after all.

  I finished my sandwich and put my hands in my pockets, feeling Cat there, safe and snug. Suddenly I knew that I wouldn't hide him any more. Mum could ask questions if she wanted, and that was OK too.

  My fingers touched something square and smooth, and I frowned for a second before I remembered the deck of cards I'd taken with me to Dr Perrin's. I grinned to myself, thinking of Richard. Pulling out the cards, I shuffled them.

  ‘Here,’ I said to Tina, holding the deck out to her. ‘Pick a card. Any card.'

  Acknowledgements

  Though I've made some allowances with science in the name of story, my sincere thanks are due to the following experts in the fields of amnesia and brain damage, who generously gave their time to answer my questions:

  Dr Hans Markowitsch at the University of Bielefeld, Germany; Professor Michael Oddy of BIRT; and Dr Paul Warren of Parklands Hospital, Basingstoke

  Thanks are also due to:

  My lovely friend Liz Kessler, for her valuable

  feedback at every stage. (And thanks again to the

  EFF, to whom I've never stopped being grateful.)

  Siobhan Dowd and Fiona Dunbar – having you just

  a phone call away keeps me sane.

  My husband, Peter, whose love and support

  I depend on.

  Thank you, darling.

  And Cold Mountain, where the miracle happened.

  A DAVID FICKLING BOOK

  Published by David Fickling Books

  an imprint of Random House Children's Books

  a division of Random House, Inc.

  New York

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product

  of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons,

  living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2006 by Lee Weatherly

  All rights reserved.

  Originally published in Great Britain by David Fickling Books, an imprint of Random

  House Children's Books, in 2006.

  DAVID FICKLING BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of David Fickling.

  www.randomhouse.
com/teens

  Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at

  www.randomhouse.com/teachers

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Weatherly, Lee.

  Kat got your tongue / Lee Weatherly. — 1st American ed.

  p. cm.

  SUMMARY: After being hit by a car, thirteen-year-old Kat wakes up in the

  hospital with no memory of her previous life.

  eISBN 978-0-307-53454-5

  [1. Amnesia—Fiction. 2. Emotional problems—Fiction. 3. Fathers and

  daughters—Fiction. 4. Self-perception—Fiction. 5. Interpersonal

  relations—Fiction. 6. England—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.W3553Kat 2007

  [Fic]—dc22

  2006024408

  June 2007

  v3.0