by Jillian Hart
Destined to always be apart from him, she did her best to smile and dug her fork tines into the cake slice, alone with only a lost dream.
* * *
Stan's voice carried the power of the story as he read aloud, keeping the listeners riveted to him and the words faintly ringing in the warm and pleasant parlor. Saydee normally fell right into the story, but her attention kept zipping to the kitchen, heart warmed by the thoughtful man and his courtesy to her. She knew the instant he padded silently into the shadowed archway and propped one shoulder against the frame, his chin down, his eyes too shadowed to reveal his emotions, staying back, a man on the outside.
As Stan's voice dipped, caught up in the goings on in the story, Saydee leaned forward just enough on the sofa cushion to get a good look at the shadow of a man. Winn's gaze locked on hers and he shook his head, scattering the dark tendrils of his thick hair tumbling over his strong, intelligent forehead that made him ever more handsome to her. He eased a step back into the shadowed kitchen, where he'd must have turned down the lamp's wick earlier, as if he were better off staying out of the circle of warmth they'd made. Saydee, with her family members surrounding her, wished she could persuade him to stay for keeps, but he'd made up his mind what was best for him. She couldn't fault him. Distance was best if there was no chance for real, for staying. They would both only become even more attached.
"Winn." Peg's eyes sparked as she spoke up as her husband ended a chapter and paused to turn the page with a rustle of paper, crackling like fallen leaves in the stillness. "You'll have to come right in here and sit down. You'll enjoy the story more that way. Do you want me to get you a piece of cake? I worry you don't get enough dessert in life."
"I can't risk eating more treats and getting sweeter. This hard, gruff bitterness suits me for my work. I'd be a ruined man without it. Don't sweeten me up."
"You're sweeter than you think, but, fine, skip cake if you will and come join us. That can't hurt, can it?" Peg squinted at him, unaware of what she was asking. How could she know? She wanted to welcome Winn into the family, not prepared to let him go. Peg gave him her best, most hard-to-resist smile. "Come on in here and make me happy. Sit right down next to Saydee. Saydee, scoot over a little bit and make room for your charming rogue of a man."
Saydee blushed. "Do you think that's wise, Aunt Peg?"
"No," the woman agreed, "but we're living dangerous tonight. Perhaps it's that Stan is reading Dickens. It always brings out the mischief in me."
Winn's step knelled, ringing in the house, echoing with every step. "You look like wild trouble to me, Peg. Next time your husband may want to find something boring to read. Perhaps local law enforcement should know about you."
"They do! I'm friends with the sheriff's wife. She loves to crochet. Oh, the fun we have talking about patterns."
"That's not what I mean." Winn continued crossing the room, drawing closer with each beat of her heart.
Saydee quivered as Winn settled onto the couch beside her and his nearness was like being set ablaze from the inside out in the most pleasant, thrilling way. His thigh pressed against hers, forcing heat to curl through her entire body, and her brain ceased to function.
"Better?" His voice rumbled in her ear.
She was too befuddled to nod, too afraid to speak or the passion and desire she felt for him would show in her voice. More heat spread across her face as Winn's laughing gaze met hers, and she had no doubt, as he lowered his eyes to study her mouth, what he was thinking. Her lips tingled, remembering the velvet heat of his kiss and she hardly noticed when her uncle began reading the next chapter, his voice could not penetrate the thick, heavy thud of her pulse tolling in her ears. What beat between the space of their two hearts, hers and Winn's, felt like a solemn, silvered hush, a quiet understanding that had they been able to, they would have had love.
34
A strange, frightening noise ripped Saydee out of a deep sleep, right on the edge of falling into a dream. Groggy, her mind like cotton, she blinked herself awake in the still, dark emptiness of her bedroom. A thundering, nasal-like whistling sound rang out, rather like a pig squealing if it were also combined with a train chugging down a mountain grade, breaking, while a donkey brayed.
Uncle Stan was snoring again. Saydee stared up at the night-black ceiling, in awe that anyone could make such a noise that would be louder than the howl and swirl of the storm outside beginning to wind down, from the sounds of it. No longer did the windows rattle or the house feel as if it were being shaken. But still, the dying blizzard raged and made sound enough that it was remarkable, truly a feat of human talent, to snore loud enough to make the fury of the wind sound small.
She sat up in bed, and the mattress ropes squeaked beneath her. She shifted, and they silenced. The snoring overhead continued, in and out, a note higher, then falling to sound like a piece of metal screeching only to snort and start the cycle all over again. At least her uncle was sleeping soundly. Hoping everyone else in the house did too. They were better off than she was and she gave infinite thanks that Winn had talked Peg into choosing the upstairs guest room instead of slumbering right next door.
Pretty certain that sleep would remain elusive for her, she swung out of bed, planted her stockinged feet on the soft braid rug and padded to the doorway. She turned the handle with care, aware of the guests staying in the rooms overhead, and swished out into the darkened hallway.
"Whoa, there! Don't run headfirst into me." Winn's good-natured humor whispered, not exactly startling her but she was surprised by how her heart leaped and how she treasured too much the butter-rum warmth in his baritone.
"What are you doing up?" She held out her hand, hoping not to bump into him, and didn't jump when his male-hot much larger fingers caught hold of hers and held on. "Oh, wait, I think I know."
"It's a real talent to snore like that. I don't think I've ever heard the like."
"He could be a national champion at it, for all we know. Aunt Peg says he's been at it, practicing in his sleep for decades, for most of their marriage."
"It's a boon that she must be a sound sleeper."
"I can't say the same."
"Neither can I."
Her hand found the strong hard wall of his broad chest, and the open door of his room cast a faint shadow from what must be a lamp burning with a barely-there flame. The desire in his bedroom eyes nearly incinerated her. "I was hoping a sip of water would help me get back to sleep."
"Are you thirsty?"
"Not at all, but maybe I simply needed a brief respite of escape from that donkey-braying noise."
"Or a pig-snorting, or metal squealing on a downhill grade."
"Exactly." Laughter bubbled up, soft as a melody and filled with hope. She waltzed forward a step closer to him and into the wedge of faint light from the barely open guest room door. The light touched her, and he melted from simply looking at her with her hair down and loose, tumbling over her slender shoulders to fall half-sweet and half-wild around her beautiful face. Her pretty white nightgown adorned with tiny red rosebuds and green leaves brushed over her curves the way his hands felt hot and aching to do. Man, how he wanted to.
Heat shot fire straight to his groin. She was not his to touch but that didn't stop his desire. He held tight to Saydee's hand, small and delicate compared to his. She shone like a September star, quietly elegant and gracious in a jewel-toned midnight sky.
Upstairs, tucked comfortably into his bed beside Peg, Stan chose that moment to trumpet a high, shrill nasal snore that reverberated through the house loud enough to make Saydee smother a giggle.
"It's not funny, I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. Poor Uncle Stan, to have such a problem." She sighed, leaning against Winn when he opened his arms and drew her close. "Although, I'm not sure he thinks it's a problem. He always gets a very good night's sleep."
"And it sounds like everyone around him does too, which is the important part. I suppose it's a good thing I'm a light sleeper so
if I do ever start to snore, I wake myself up and it never lasts for long."
"That's very good to know." Saydee paused for another rise and fall of Stan's loud, trumpeting snore and in the silence that followed, they laughed together. "I've noticed you don't snore."
"My only good quality." His grin was half sheepish.
"I'm sure you have more good in you than that."
"Maybe. You do seem to think I'm a good kisser." His lips brushed hers like fire and heat. "I only want to make you happy and take what care I can of you while I'm here."
"That's how I feel about you." Love didn't take, it gave, and so when his warm breath fanned her forehead and smelled faintly of sugar cookie, she knew why he'd gotten up and what he'd done in the kitchen. She grinned into his smile that became another brush of a kiss. "Maybe I shouldn't have confessed that. Many a man in your position would get cold feet and take off for the hills."
"That's not the reason I'm leaving when the storm ends. Don't get me wrong, my feelings are true and I'm not about to ask for anything you're not willing to give. Ever."
"I'm already willing." She kissed him, this man of strength and goodness. His arms tightened around her again and pulled her firmly against his heat and hardness. The lamplight flickered as a wind gust hit the side of the house, rattling the windows and the stove pipe, reminding her of what little time they had left together. It felt as if alone, in the beat of the storm, no one would know, for the blizzard raged on once again. Now, tucked in together, safe and cozy, perhaps it was the perfect night for love.
He knew it, too. He backed her into the guest room, while holding her tucked close to his chest. The silk of her hair tickled his cheek and caught on the stubbles of his day's growth as she cuddled into him and pressed her face into the curve of his neck and shoulder. How sweet. She smelled how home should be, of lilacs and sugared mint tea, and he thought about all the things he wanted to do to her on that bed that stood behind her, covers down and waiting for them.
"At least the storm is on our side, blowing so hard no one upstairs can hear us. As long as we ignore the snoring." Chuckling and looking a little nervous, Saydee eased out of his arms when he helped her to sit on the bed. The laughter made it easier. He heard the ropes squeak just a bit and he grinned wider, knowing they would make them squeak again, and how they would! That was his deep, heart-felt wish. She bit her bottom lip, adorable, and the tiny flame dancing on the turned-down wick cast a dark, sepia glow over her, so tantalizing that he caught her by the wrist and pressed a kiss there, on her open palm, and listened to her breath catch. Good, she liked that, so he laved his tongue across the base of her thumb. When she moaned and bit her bottom lip again, swollen from the brush of his kisses, anticipating more, he ran his hand up the short row of buttons marching up the front of her nightgown. The top button gave beneath his fingertips and he pushed the fabric aside. His lips settled on her bare skin, and he loved the gasp of pleasure she made.
Which only encouraged him to tug at more buttons so that her dress gave way and made it easy for him to trail kisses down her throat and upper chest with slow, restless laves and caresses. Blissful pleasure tingled on her skin and zinged in her spine. If his kisses stirred her up this much and gave her so much pleasure, what would his lovemaking do to her?
"This is a pretty nightgown. It's too bad it has to come off you " His words fanned the sensitized skin of her unbound breasts, where he gazed down at her cleavage. "I just need a moment to admire all your beauty."
"How can I argue with that?" she breathed.
He tugged her nightgown up and over her shoulders, tugging it off over her head and her arms, and laughter died on her tongue. The fabric whisked away, baring her except for her drawers, and he wasted no time. Her nightgown shivered to a stop on the foot of the bed and his hands cupped her breasts and began to gently knead. Twisting pleasure coiled through her and centered down deep in her abdomen. He ran the pads of his thumbs across her pebbled nipples and she melted into a pool of willing submission, desperate to have all of his weight on top of her, to have him wedged hard inside her.
"You're going to think I'm rather forward." She smiled as she leaned back, melting back onto the bed and stretched out on the soft sheet. The fabric caressed her sensitized skin and she shivered.
"Forward? Darling, I don't think you're anything but beautiful." His hands splayed across her rib cage as he stretched out beside her on the bed, his gaze smoldering as he studied her nearly naked body. His fingers blazed a hot liquid trail down the outside of her arm, and he bent close and kissed the sensitive place there, on the inside of her elbow. Sparks of pleasure fired inside her, and he spoiled her by doing the same to her other arm until she wound her fingers into his hair, holding his head and looking up into eyes hungry for her, just for her.
She lost track of time, of everything, of the fact that she should not be in bed with him, there was only him and the joy of his mouth on hers and then descending downward, laving and nibbling a hot, damp trail over her chin and down her throat to capture her exposed, pebbled nipple, which tightened and painfully responded to that warm perfectly hot tug of his kiss. She moaned deep down in her throat, and she held him captive there, her hands splayed on the back of his head, her fingers twined in his silken hair, refusing to let him go. Pleasure drew a tight cord twisting through her body and cinched tighter, leaving her trembling and wanting. He switched to her other, neglected breast and left her senseless with pleasure all over again.
"I shouldn't be doing this to you." No humor rang in his voice, just quiet truth and honest desire. "But I can't seem to stop myself."
"Neither can I." Her confession came broken and raspy. She blushed, breathing too hard and too excited and aroused to do anything more than to be honest. "Just don't stop."
"Your wish is my command. I'll just keep going until you tell me not to, okay?"
"Okay, but you may not hear that from me."
"I know what you mean. I know what you want, because it's how I feel about you, too." He boldly kissed his way down her stomach and ran his large hands over the swell of her hips, sweeping off her drawers while never lifting his lips from her bare skin. She shifted, so he could tug the fabric down over her ankles, shivering with sexual need, aching there, in the secret place between her legs where she craved for that part of him to be, and goose bumps broke out all over her, traveling from her hair line all the way to her toes.
"I'm going to make love to you, Saydee." His hot breath fanned the swell of her hip. "Is that what you want?"
"More than life itself," she confessed. "Whatever you do, don't stop."
"I live to please. For now, for right now, I'm yours to command." His words became a kiss and anticipation burned through her as his hands brushed along the sensitive inside of her thighs and gave a push, opening her to his sight.
She'd never been so vulnerable, so exposed to anyone before. A spear of fear cut through her but vanished into nothing but a smile as his agile and clever hands continued trailing down the inside of her thighs all the way to her knees, where his caress lingered, stroking the far-too-sensitive skin there, behind her knees, drawing them up a little, urging her legs wider apart for him.
"Relax, you can trust me, gorgeous Saydee." His reassuring words skidded over the stimulated skin of her inner thighs. "That's a pretty big grin you have there. You must be happy."
"I am."
"Then you are really going to like what I do to you next." He shifted and moved between her thighs, skimming upward toward the V of her thighs, where she was wet and swollen, aching for him.
As if he knew just how she felt, he kissed her there, where she was most private, with the soft curve of his grin. White-hot ribbons of pleasure sped through her body, starting where his clever, hot mouth kissed most sensitive flesh.
"Oh, Winn." His name tore from her throat as her back arched. "Oh yes, yes."
The burning pleasure doubled and seeped through her chest to radiate through every part
of her. She felt his fingers open her, stroking with the same slow, steady pressure of his tongue. Oh, that was a surprise! Her hips lifted as her entire body drew ever tauter and the unbearable pleasure coiled tighter like a fist right there, where his tongue laved so hot and light. Then release slammed over her in a sharp, hot, ecstatic thrill that ripped through her and pieced her back together again.
"You're smiling, so I've must have done something right." Satisfied, he stretched out on the sheet beside her. "You look like I pleased you good."
"I can't deny it or complain." She plucked at his buttons, revealing the sight of his broad, muscled chest. "But if I compliment you, it might go to your head. Swell you up and then what would I do with your ego?"
"Ego, huh? That's a fun thing to call it. I've got a few ideas what you can do with mine. Let me show you," he invited with a husky, cougar-like rumble when her fingers released the last button on his shirt and tugged at the fabric. She gasped, getting hotter at the sight of ridged muscle and the sprinkling of dark hair that arrowed downward from chest to abdomen, toward his belt. "What are you doing, accosting me like this?"
"Me? I'm the one naked, not you."
"Yet." His fingers caught hers. "You're naked because I want you, only you, Saydee."
Her heart caught at the naked caring resonant in his voice. Naked and bared to him completely, she blushed, unable to meet his gaze, but instead, she felt the touch of her heart to his. "That's what I really want. You. You."
Winn shook his head at her words. He wished he could give her what she deserved and wanted most, forever, and he was hurt by his failure at that, diminished at heart, body and soul, but at least he could redeem that and cherish her now. "I love you true."
She didn't smile, but her eyes shone with tenderness. He shrugged out of his shirt, watching her tuck her lush bottom lip between her teeth. So, she was breathing hard, was she, and flushed from her climax. His senses spun seeing the light rapid flutter of her pulse at her throat, and the inviting curves of her naked body tempted him beyond enduring as she tugged at his belt buckle.