by J. L. Beck
Right then, my heart does a little pitter-patter. Yes, the totally fucking girly kind where sighs fall from lips and eyelashes bat. I’m beyond pussy whipped, and I don’t even care. Not one fucking bit.
“Hey, piccolo,” I whisper against her skin as I clasp the side of her cheek gently. She stirs only slightly, and one eye opens.
“It’s still dark out, so if you’re waking me up, somebody better be dying. Wait—no, scratch that... somebody better not be dead. Too much heartache going on around here.” I can tell by the humor lacking in her voice that she isn’t kidding.
“I just need to talk to you. I need to let you know James is coming to meet you. I know you said you needed some time to digest everything that has happened, but we don’t really have time. We need to devise a plan and…”
I’m the motherfucking king, but here I am, bowing to her. Putting myself on the line. I’ve never had to ask someone if things were okay between us—simply because I never cared enough to ask.
“And?” she asks puzzled as I sit on the bed next to her. My dick is still hard, and the way she is looking at me is making it more difficult for me to focus on the task at hand. Fuck. Yeah, that’s what you need to be doing.
“And…. I need to know….” Pause. “If everything is okay? Are you going to be okay?” Pause again. Would I ever be able to fucking man up? Fuck having a cock—if I look down, I guarantee I’ll find a pussy between my legs since I’m acting like one.
Sighing, I raise my gaze and look her straight in the eyes as if I am looking straight down the barrel of a gun. “I need to know we’re okay. I know it sounds fucked up, but I need to know you’re all right. I need to know you aren’t lost somewhere in that pretty fucking head of yours.” She knows exactly what I’m asking because not even a second passes before she’s giving me answers.
“Well, basically, I was held in a hole for three weeks. When I say hole, I do mean one in the ground, surrounded by dirt. I was talked down upon and treated like shit for hours upon hours. Then… Eli baited me to get out of the hole. Technically, I baited him, but it doesn’t matter…” Closing my eyes for a moment, I take a deep breath to calm myself. If he touched her, there is a cement block with his name on it.
“Eli was there? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” I try my very best to keep my voice even, hiding how angry I am with her for not speaking up before.
“I guess it kind of slipped my mind. I’m sorry, things have been crazy. Eli being there and helping me escape has been pretty low on my list of things to digest. He did tell me to let you know you owe him a favor.”
Fuck, I know it. I owe him more than one favor, and I can’t blame her for not mentioning this sooner, but that doesn’t make me feel better about it. Why hasn’t he contacted me?
“Anyway, I got out of the hole with the intent of running or doing whatever I could to escape. Instead of having to fight him though, he just kind of let me go…” She sounds surprised.
“Did he touch you? What else did he say to you? Did he hurt you?” The questions come out rushed, and I feel myself reaching out to touch her, simply to remind myself she is here.
I’m a pussy. A total fucking pussy. Next thing you know, I’ll be watching The Notebook and talking about The Vampire Diaries while drinking a skinny vanilla soy latte.
Smiling, a sexy as all fucking hell grin, she says, “Relax, Mr. King. Nothing happened. He didn’t hurt me. I don’t think he said anything else.” Seconds pass as I watch her work through her thoughts.
Inwardly, I sigh in relief.
“You look like you actually worried about me,” she states, pulling the sheet up to her chest. Her dark brown eyes are anything but doe-like anymore. Everything that seemed shy and unknown has been explored. She is strong, so fucking strong, and she is mine. All mine.
“Amara. I love you. I loved you the moment I met you. I simply didn’t understand what it was that drew me to you. I fought my own men and broke all my own rules to be with you. I may have killed and been ruthless. I may have been the monster everyone makes me out to be, but I never stopped loving you.”
“You don’t always act like it.” Her eyes well up with huge tears. I want to reach out and comfort her, but for what? For being honest and for telling her how much she means to me? One single tear slips from her eye and falls to her cheek where it slides down ever so slowly.
“I know. I fucking know that.”
“You hurt me, you fucking broke me. You think John was a monster, but you’re no better. If anything, you’re the same.”
Fuck! She’s right, I’m no better a person than John, but I love her. I love her with my whole heart.
“You have to know I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry, Amara. I am so fucking sorry! Do you think I will forget? Because I won’t. I will never forget the night in the cabin... never forget how I hurt the one person who saved my life. I fucked up. I was lost inside my head, only wanting revenge.” My mind drifted back to Mack… I will paint the motherfucking walls with his blood when I am done making him pay.
“I thought the person I had finally fallen in love with had betrayed me, and I was hurt. All I saw was red, and Mack... Mack sounded so fucking believable. I hate myself more than I have ever hated anyone for touching you in any way other than with love. Do you hear me? Understand me right now. I know I was a bastard for...”
“I miss my old life. I just want it all to go back to the way it was…” she pleads, as if I could make all her dreams come true. The truth of the matter is, I can’t fix what’s been done, but I can make the future better.
“I promise to take care of you, to make sure all your needs are met. I will make it all worth it, just stay with me. Hold onto who you are. Please.”
“I don’t want you to think I don’t want you or care about you because I do. I know why you killed John. I understand it was needed on your part, but it’s going to be hard for me to forget it. It doesn’t matter how evil someone is. If you love them even the tiniest bit, you always remember the love, above all else.” I understand what she means. It was similar to how she feels about me. She can always remember the good things I have done over the bad. Even when the bad outweighs the good by a million. She has a heart of gold while I have a cold, dark one.
“It just seems like…” I murmur ashamed. I’ve never worked through such emotions.
“Look at me, Enzo,” she says, cupping my cheek to turn my face into hers. I didn’t resist her touch. “I think I want to be with you, but you need to give me time to figure it out. I want to find out answers, too. No matter what, we can do this together.”
“I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry I put you through all of this. I just want to know you’re okay,” I plead. I hate feeling lower than dirt, even though I deserve it.
“I’m okay. I’m not great or fabulous, but I’m capable of moving from what happened to me.”
I smile, unable to hide the happiness. “I bet I can make you feel great, maybe even fabulous?” I tease. “You could use me again to help you forget. I’ll be fine with that.”
“I bet you are.” A tiny smile tucks on her full lips. She has me wrapped around her finger, and every inch of me calls to her. Her simple smile causes my heart rate to accelerate.
“Shouldn’t you be devising some insane, off the wall, guns blazing attack plan?” she asks as if she doesn’t want this, but her eyes tell me a different story, her pupils dilate, and her gaze drops to the iron rod tenting my pants.
Her teeth sink into her full, pale pink lip, and I’m more than ready to lose all my clothes and attack her like an animal.
Tugging at my shirt, I smile. “Gun’s a blazing sounds fun, but fucking you until you can’t walk or talk sounds better, doesn’t it?” I growl.
“As long as you understand that this is just sex for now.” Her voice turns serious for a moment, and so does mine when I answer.
“Got it. Just sex. If that’s all I can get right now, then I’ll take it.”
She nods, and I continue getting naked. With my shirt off, I start to tug my pants down.
“Let me,” she says, reaching out for me. Loosening the button, I watch her pull the sides of my pants down.
“Commando, huh?” She laughs as her brown eyes twinkle in the light. She’s so beautiful and far too fucking smart of a woman to be caught up with me. Shimmying out of my pants, I bend down to lay claim on her. I want her lips, her panting breaths, and her skin against mine until the sun comes up.
“What can I say? I’m always ready for you,” I half-joke. I am always ready for her. My teeth nip at her bottom lip. Her eyes turn to molten lava in an instant. I have the same effect on her that she has on me.
“I missed you so bad…” I practically pant as my hands drift under her shirt. I’m a thirsty man. It feels as if I haven’t had a drink from her beauty in months. I am starved.
Her lips find mine, devouring the very small amount of space separating us. Her urgency turns into mine, and in a matter of seconds, I pull her shirt off and move us to a sitting position.
“Are you ready for me, Mr. King?” she asks as one of her fingers reaches out, tracing over my bottom lip. The temptation to reach out and bite her is strong, but I want to go easy on her. I need to give her the control.
Looking down, my eyes glide over her body. Her full tits are on display for me, and I can’t stop myself from palming them.
“I’ve missed this, you… all of it…” She purrs as she arches into my touch.
“I bet you have, baby,” I say, moving one hand from her tit to between her legs. One stroke of my finger tells me she is soaked for me. My piccolo is a very dirty girl.
“So wet already?” I ask, laying hot kisses against her chest and neck. She pushes her dark locks to the side to give me more access. That’s when I see the bruises on her shoulder. They are small and insignificant to the naked eye, but to me, they are anything but.
“Who did this to you?” I ask, anger filling my voice. Her expression turns from lust to confusion in mere seconds as she looks down to see what I am talking about. Fear roots itself deep in my belly. Was she only telling me a half-truth?
“I… I don’t know where those came from, Enzo…” Her eyes plead with me to understand, and looking up at her, I know she is telling me the truth. She isn’t sure how she had been bruised. Had I done that to her? It could very well be possible.
“Shhhh. I’m sorry I scared you,” I whisper, laying soft kisses against the bruises. I want them to go away. I never want a single thing to blemish her beautiful skin.
From there, I trail my kisses over her neck and down her chest, listening to her breathe and to her heart accelerating.
“Being with you is like being on a roller coaster. The moments of fear when you don’t know what’s around the next corner. The feeling of falling, just for a fraction of a second, where you think death may finally get you. You make me feel all of it,” she says softly, her voice as smooth as silk.
Her words stir something deep within, and I lose control. She always brings unknown emotions to the surface. My fingers delve into her skin as I trace her entrance. So wet, so fucking wet for me.
“Fuck my finger,” I demand, gritting my teeth as I watch her eyes light up like a fireworks show. With one hand wrapped around her chin to keep her eyes on mine, I slam my finger into her over and over again until she finds her own rhythm.
“I need more,” Panting, she pleads with me to give her what she wants.
“Beg for it… Show me what that sweet pussy of yours wants,” I say, nipping at her lip. A frustrated sigh erupts from within her, and her movements become jerky.
“Beg for it, and I’ll give you what you crave. You know my cock only wants you,” I murmur on the verge of coming myself. She’s a goddess, and her body works in so many fucking mysterious ways. I know I said I wanted her to control the pace and to be in control, but that was before she said what she said.
“Please, Enzo…” she cries out… begging, pleading, and giving me exactly what I want.
“Please, what? You want me to fuck that dirty cunt of yours? You want my cum to fill you to the brim? Do you?” I smirk, adjusting myself for her entrance the moment the words escape her lips.
“Please, fuck me… Fuck me now!”
“Now, now. Don’t make demands, my greedy girl,” I growl at her, withdrawing my finger before sliding deep into her pussy. One swift movement is all it takes to get her mouth to shut. My body shudders with the need to slam into her repeatedly, but I stand my ground, relishing every jerk and clench of her body.
Our bodies connect, and a blissful kind of peace overcomes me. She slides over my cock slowly, and I take the time to explore her body, leaving a path of fiery kisses over every inch of her body.
“Ahhh… Ahh…” she exclaims, her hips moving in motion with mine as I lie back slowly to watch her work her magic.
“Fuck, yeah,” I hiss out, my hands moving to her hips. Our flesh is smacking against one another as she fucks me into oblivion. Her walls clamp onto my cock like a vise as I continue to push into her deeper than I ever have before.
“Never enough… Never enough…” I say breathlessly as my cum hits the back of her pussy, and my toes curl. They literally fucking curl.
Amara’s body slumps against mine as we both come down from our highs, listening to one another’s hearts beat.
One of my hands moves of its own accord as if it has been doing this for years. I push the hair off her shoulder and rub small circles into her back.
She is all fucking mine, and I’m the luckiest man in the world. I lost everything, but I don’t care—because I found my home in her arms.
“Promise me, through all of this, even if Mack wins, you’ll run. You’ll push on for something more because both you and I know someone’s going to die. Death is inevitable in the world we live in, and even if I die, I just want to know you will find your peace.”
If all else fails, peace is what I want her to have. I want her to be able to move on without me.
“If I promise this to you, then you have to promise the same to me. It’s not just your life on the line but both of ours.” She’s right, but she doesn’t realize I would do everything in my power to make sure she makes it out, even if it meant giving up my own life for hers.
“I promise,” I lie. I can’t promise something like that. Hopefully, it never comes down to that, but if it does, I’ll die for her. And if I fail, and Amara dies before me, there will be no moving on, no peace, no me without her.
“Good,” she mumbles into my chest.
“I love you,” I whisper into her hair, never feeling so content in my life. She doesn’t say it back, but she doesn’t need to. Her letting me hold her like this is all I need right now.
31
Amara
Dirt everywhere I look—dark, damp, and filthy dirt. The walls are closing in on me, and there is nothing I can do. I’m back in the hole, cold, and alone. Shivering and scared, even though I try my hardest not to be. Hoping every day that Enzo will come for me, that he will find me and take me away from this place.
My body shudders against another, and for a moment, I forget where I am. Confused, I realize I’m wrapped in a casing of warmth. Memories swirl in my mind, past and present intertwining before the dream ends, and I’m back in the here and now.
Opening my eyes, I take in the bedroom, reminding myself that it’s over. My prayers were answered. I’m safe, back in Enzo’s arms.
I didn’t lie when I said I was okay—I am okay… just okay. But I don’t think I’ll ever be back to the person I was before all of this. No. There is no going back to the lie that was my life.
I peer out the window and find the first shimmers of morning light are filtering through.
“The sun is just rising,” Enzo says softly, his voice full of sleep. He places a kiss on my shoulder, and I melt back into the mattress. We made love last night, not the kinky kind, not the fuck me against the w
all kind, but the slow and sensual kind. The kind that makes you one. The kind that makes two halves into one whole.
“What time is it?” I ask, rolling over from my stomach to face him.
Looking at him makes me realize that I somehow came to terms with what Enzo did to John… to me. But that doesn’t mean it makes my feelings go away. I still harbor all of those, good and bad, which makes me feel like I’m sleeping with the enemy.
“My phone says six-thirty a.m.” He yawns, apparently still very much tired. I roll my eyes, even the king has a weakness—sleep.
Laughing, I push the sheet from my body and pull myself out of his warm embrace.
“What’s going on inside of that head of yours?” He’s been asking that a lot lately as if he thinks I’m unstable or something.
“Just absorbing things and wondering where I go from here.” It’s an honest answer. I know I’ll have to talk to Jared’s dad, my dad… soon. I’ll have to fill in the missing pieces somehow.
“James will have some answers for you, I hope. I’m not sure where he got all his information, but I guess your mom had told him before she passed away.” My chest constricts. Even after all this time, talking about my mom’s passing hurts more than anything. Even more so now, since I have no way of getting answers to the questions I desperately want to ask.
“I miss her,” I say aloud. I didn’t mean to, but apparently, my consciousness slipped.
“I know you do, and I miss mine, too.” He sounds like he is in pain. I turn around to see his face, and in his eyes, I see the terror that was always hidden, right beneath the surface. In the place that only very few know because Enzo keeps it hidden so well.
“Enzo…” I try to stop him from heading down memory lane, but it doesn’t work. We are two very different people living different lives, but one thing we have in common—we both have more questions than we have answers.
“People thought I just liked to kill others like it was part of the act. They didn’t know why though. They didn’t know it was my own personal hell or how every drop of blood that touched my skin soothed the monster inside of me. I killed because I had to. It was the only thing I knew.” I can tell he isn’t with me in the room anymore. At least, not in his mind.