The Darkslayer: Series 2 Special Edition (Bish and Bone Bundle Books 6-10): Sword and Sorcery Adventures

by Craig Halloran

  I’ve never seen the women so quiet before. I wonder what they’re thinking. I bet it’s something like ‘Castrate Melegal. Castrate Melegal.’ Hmm, I’d probably be thinking along those same lines too.

  He scanned the horizon. They’d traveled leagues, and little in the landscape had changed. Rocks. Bone trees, cacti, and tumbleweeds. Insects scurried over the sunbaked dirt. A squirrel-like rodent dashed over the ground, snatched up a mantis-like insect in its jaws, and vanished into a small hole.

  I miss the city. Even Two-Ten is better than this furnace hot desert of despair.

  He cast his glance on Jasper’s back. Her lithe and sensuous figure swayed in the saddle.

  Even in the worst of situations, she’s still a sultry form. Though she’s not Elypsa. Curse my heart for lusting after that fiend of a woman. Perhaps my passions did almost kill the lot of us.

  He pulled his narrow shoulders back and yawned. A bug flew into his mouth. “Kack! Kack! Kack!” He spat it out.

  Nikkel came to a stop, turned, and said, “Is everything fine back there?”

  Running his finger through his mouth, Melegal said, “Keep going. I only choked on a bug as big as my hand.”

  “It’s a shame it didn’t finish the job,” Jasper said. “Perhaps the next one won’t fail.”

  “Oh, she speaks to me. How delightful.” He rode up alongside the sorceress and eyed her. “You miss me, don’t you.”

  “Go away.”

  “Come now, Jasper. You cannot fault me for my curiosity. Even you must admit the woman was fascinating.”

  She charged up her fingers with a purple glow of magic that reflected in her eyes. “Go away.”

  “You act as if we were betrothed,” he said, riding Quickster away.

  “No, I act as if you are a betrayer! You consorted with an underling!”

  Melegal shrugged. “I didn’t treat her any differently than any other man would have. What did you expect?”

  “Fool, if it had been a male underling, would you not have expected me to kill it?”

  “That’s different,” he said, sounding a little uncertain of himself.

  “Is it?” Jasper said.

  Kam slowed her horse on the other side of him. “Yes, Melegal. If we thought as you do, we would not kill the men, just the women.”

  “Then by all means, the two of you should have killed her.”

  “But we should spare the men?” Jasper injected.

  “I think most men deserve it long before the women,” Kam said, eyeing Jasper. “Don’t you agree?”

  “Certainly,” Jasper nodded. “Perhaps we should just stay out of it, Kam, and let all the men kill each other.”

  Melegal shook his head.

  See what happens when Venir isn’t around? They start picking on me.

  Nikkel came to a stop and addressed the women. “Now wait a moment. I’m not guilty of anything, and you’re trying to kill me off too.”

  “No offense, Nikkel, but you are young. Give it some time, and you’ll do something just as vile and stupid as the rest of the men,” Kam said, riding up to him. She reached out and pinched his cheek. “But I don’t wish the men to be gone. After all, they have one useful purpose.”

  “What’s that?” Nikkel said.

  Kam patted Erin’s little head resting in front of her in the saddle. “You help us make babies, and plenty of joy comes from them.” She rode on.

  Jasper followed after her.

  “Yes,” Melegal said, riding up to Nikkel, “and plenty of joy comes from making babies too. They didn’t bother to mention that, did they.”

  “No, but I think I’d better keep a safe distance from you.” Wary-eyed, Nikkel rode away from Quickster. “Remember they have magic, and I have a feeling if you don’t learn how to treat a lady better real soon, then you’re going to wind up being nothing but a puff of smoke.”

  Scratching Quickster’s ears, Melegal nudged the beast forward, speaking to it. “Well, at least I can count on your opinion to never change about me, can’t I, you old feedbag.”

  Ahead, the women had come to a stop. Their eyes were frozen on something above them. The horses stomped the ground, whinnying and nickering.

  “Melegal,” Jasper said aloud without turning her head, “we have company.”

  Melegal leaned to one side, glancing around the women’s bodies, then he looked up. The blood in his veins froze. An underling in long dark-gray robes dropped from the sky and hovered over the ground less than thirty yards away. The fiend’s citrine eyes charged up with fire. Yellow bolts of energy exploded from its hands.

  Oh slat!

  CHAPTER 21

  Venir felt good. The sway of Chongo’s walk beneath his saddle was an old familiar comfort. It had been too long, far too long since the pair had been together. Riding over the dry Outlands with the hot suns on his face, he felt at home. Even the glare of the suns didn’t bother him, and his conversation with Billip was spirited.

  “You look happy,” the archer said. Billip sat on top of a painted horse, a rich dark brown and white. Sweat ran down his cheeks. “I’m glad to be out of that giant hole in the ground, but blast my hide, this ride is miserable.”

  Venir shook his head. “Happy, you say?”

  “Well, that’s what I’d call it. There you are, riding on the back of Chongo with a weird grin forming on your lips.” Billip sighed. “I usually look that way with a lap full of ornery women, though I don’t think it would do me much good now.”

  “Take a drink, then,” Venir said, spying the mirages ahead.

  The two of them had managed a quick pace trying to gain on the dwarven army, but for thousands of soldiers the dwarves seemed to move unimpeded and really fast. “And I suppose you could say I’m happy. It seems like such a strange word to say. I seldom ever hear a woman use it, let alone a man.”

  After taking a long drink from his canteen, Billip wiped his mouth and said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Happy is an odd word coming from a man.” Venir hid his smile. “It seems quite natural coming from you, though.”

  “And what would have been more appropriate?”

  “Don’t worry, Billip. It’s just us talking. It’s not like Nikkel or Melegal are around to fillet your swooning tongue,” he said. “But if it were me I would have said ‘spirited’ or ‘lively.’”

  “Swooning tongue?” Billip gawped.

  Venir started laughing.

  “You know,” said Billip, “I don’t care what I call it. You’re happy. I find it very disconcerting.”

  Venir pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Well, that makes two of us.”

  They rode on, tasting nothing but hot dust for miles. Following the dwarves wasn’t hard, but if not for their footprints, one would never know they had passed by. They didn’t use fires and didn’t leave a scrap of any kind of waste. The dwarves were more efficient than the finest Royal army.

  “Perhaps it’s high time I headed back to the others to make sure Melegal’s head is intact,” Billip said. “That is assuming you don’t mind him riding with you awhile. I figure the women have been giving him plenty of heat over nothing but Jasper’s jealousy.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that. Melegal doesn’t sweat.” Venir gave Billip a look and said, “Why don’t you send Nikkel up? I haven’t really spent much time with him―but give me a little time to myself first, say an hour.”

  Billip eyed him. “Give me your word you aren’t going to run off on us.”

  “Of course not. We have a dwarven army to catch.” Venir peered ahead and pointed at a hilltop of painted rocks. “We’ll be there.”

  “You’re the one who keeps saying we all should stay close. No splitting up.”

  “True, but I don’t think there’s any danger. If there were, the dwarves would have wiped them out, and I don’t see any signs of battle.”

  Rubbing the grizzle on his cheek, Billip said, “Well, you know what they say. Bish happens.”

 
“Yes, but probably not today. Now get moving so I can get back to being happy.”

  Billip took off at a gallop, leaving Venir and Chongo in the dust alone.

  Rubbing the dog’s big necks, Venir said, “It’s just me and you, boy, just like it used to be so long ago. Once we catch up to Mood―and I hope he has his senses back―I’m going to find out how the two of you made it back through the mist.”

  Chongo’s tongues hung from his mouths, and he shook his heads and gave a howl.

  “Fine, then, you can tell me,” Venir replied.

  The reunited pair had traveled another hundred yards toward the hilltop when Chongo’s four ears perked up. His black snouts started to sniff and snort. His front paw dug at the ground, and both heads let out low rumbling growls.

  Feeling the vibration in his saddle, Venir grabbed Helm, who was hanging to the side of the saddle.

  “Easy, boy,” he said, rubbing Chongo’s neck. The massive dog could smell or sense things long before Venir did, even if he had Helm on. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed his time with Chongo so much. The dog could track Mood or anyone and alert all of them for any potential danger. He was an amazing animal.

  Venir put Helm on his head. His senses caught fire.

  “Underlings,” he muttered. He reached down and grabbed the handle of Brool, who hung over the other side of his saddle. The wood grain on the haft was warm to the touch. It pulsated with energy. Shield strapped to his back, Venir felt as alive as ever. A snarl formed on his lips. “Time to hunt underlings, Chongo.”

  Whoever was out there was waiting for him. He could feel it. And there was a calling in the air, a chittering of whispers. The sounds carried with the wind from the hill he was traveling to.

  Chongo lurched forward and headed into a trot. Something was ahead. Something dangerous. Venir would destroy it before it got to his friends.

  When they made it to the bottom of the rocky hillside, Venir slipped out of the saddle with the ease of a cat. Head low, he led the way, trusting Helm’s none too subtle urgings. The chittering sound carried like a song in the wind, rushing through the passage in the rocks. Following the winding pass higher and higher he came to a stop in the first clearing. His eyes widened behind Helm’s eyelets. “You.”

  Elypsa sat on a rock, blowing into her hands. She lifted her lips into full view, and the calling came to a stop. She tossed back her cotton-white hair, slid from the stone onto her feet, and patted the swords on her sensuous hips.

  Tilting her head to one side, she approached. “Are you ready for a rematch?”

  “I’m ready for anything.”

  She started to circle him. “I can see you are ready for me, but too bad for you, your friends aren’t ready for what’s coming after them. By the time we’re finished fighting, they’ll all be dead.”

  “What’re you talking about, Elypsa?”

  Chongo stopped snarling at Elypsa and started barking upward.

  A muscular brute appeared on a ledge that looked over them. It carried a heavy sword and was built like an armored cat. It was a vicious, but different. Its build was more powerful than the others Venir had faced. It drew its sword from its back and hopped down to their level, barring the passage that would lead Venir back to Kam and Erin.

  “I know you’re a match for me,” she said. She pointed her lips at the vicious. “But I know you’re no match for me and him.”

  Venir pulled Brool down in front of him. “You can bet your black arse I am.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Frothing at the mouth and with his sullen eyes glazed over, Brak made a bead straight into the heart of the city.

  “This should be entertaining,” Jarla said.

  “You have to stop him, Fogle,” Jubilee added. She jerked on his robes. “I know you can do it.”

  “I almost died the last time I stopped him. I won’t be trying it again anytime soon.” Fogle moved in after Brak. “But we can at least give those people some warning.”

  “I think it’s too late for that.” Jarla’s dark-blue eyes radiated excitement. “The Two-Ten Defenders are coming.”

  Looking at Jarla, Fogle said, “The what?” He turned and spied the soldiers closing in on Brak. It was a group of pure orcs in piecemeal armor who were armed to the teeth. Each of them wore a solid black skullcap with a red eye painted on the top and an old gold-and-red sash tied around their waist. One looked just as rugged as the other, and there were many. “Is that the Two-Ten Army?”

  “No, just another version of the city watch from the fairer cities. Usually they don’t send greeting parties, but seeing how things are, I can only assume the inbred Royals of this slat hole are taking more precautions.” Jarla laughed. “They’re so ignorant.”

  The defenders were many. The tallest of them―a grizzly orc with a barrel chest and a potbelly―held his spear up high and shouted out an order. “Halt, stranger. No one passes without permission from the Two-Ten Defenders!”

  The closer Brak got to the orc in charge, the wider the orc’s eyes became.

  Fogle cupped his hands to his mouth and called out, “Let him go! He’s with us! Please, just stay out of his way!”

  The defenders barred Brak’s path. Their leader stood tall in the middle and raised his voice. “Listen, you oversized human cur, we don’t allow your kind in Two-Ten anymore.” He lowered his spear. “Stop or die!”

  In mid-stride, Brak snatched the spear from the leader’s hands and snapped it in half.

  The orc leader gawped, stared up at Brak, and stammered, “Kuh-Kuh-Kuk-Kill him.”

  Every defender fumbled for a weapon.

  Brak’s head bent to the side.

  “Oh no,” Fogle said. “Run, fools! Run!”

  Brak exploded into action. His massive fist punched the leader in the face so hard his head snapped back between his shoulders.

  A defender took a swing at Brak with his sword only to have it twisted from his hands and punched tip first through his ribs. The stunned orcs didn’t know what hit them.

  Brak was a blond hurricane of fury with fists like mallets that punched senseless everything that moved.

  Gawping as the massacre unfolded, Fogle said, “Why don’t those fools run?”

  “They’re orcs. They don’t run from men, even when they’re getting the slat beat out of them. They’d rather die,” Jarla said with an approving nod. “They take a beating, but they keep on coming. That’s why they’re such excellent brigands.”

  “Why don’t you talk some sense into them, then? Surely you can speak their language?”

  “No, I don’t speak stupid.”

  Jubilee pointed at the heart of the city. “More are coming. It’s too many. They’ll hurt Brak. Stop them, Fogle. Stop them!”

  Another squad of orcs rushed from the city at full speed.

  “Great Bish, we’re going to have to fight an entire city if this madness doesn’t come to an end.” Fogle pushed up his sleeves. His mind jogged through his incantations. He glared up at Jarla. Sitting proudly, she was all smiles. “You’re enjoying this.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “You shouldn’t be.”

  Brak hoisted an orc over his head and hurled the defender into three others. He slugged his way through the next wave of bodies.

  Fogle rubbed his hands together and said to the women, “Hold your horses!”

  “Why?” Jubilee asked.

  “Do as I say. And cover your ears.” He looked up into the sky, muttered an incantation, and said with a whisper, “Boom.”

  KRAAAAACOWWWW!

  The bone-jarring sound of thunder shook the ground and every building standing.

  The defenders of Two-Ten City eyed the sky, covered their heads, and scattered.

  Fogle clapped his hands again.

  KRAAAAACOWWWW!

  Doors and shutters slammed shut. The streets of the city were completely emptied.

  Taking her hands from her ears, Jarla said with a big smile, “That was impressive.�
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  The thunderclap worked on everyone except for Brak. He was dragging an orc by the arm and still heading for the city. Fogle led his horse forward, following after Brak. “I hope he’s just following his nose.”

  Brak made his way between the first two rows of ramshackle buildings and turned right into the street. Every door and window was closed, but curious and fear-filled eyes peeked out from behind cracks and corners. Brak came to a stop and took a long draw through his nose. “Huh! Huh! Huh!” he grunted.

  “What’s he doing?” Jubilee said.

  “Not killing anything at the moment, and that’s a good thing,” Fogle replied. Fingers strumming the air, he ran the words of another spell through his mind. He had to be prepared for anything. He spied the rooftops.

  A man with a crossbow had climbed on top of a nearby building and taken aim at Brak.

  Fogle snapped his fingers.

  The crossbow string snapped.

  Eyeing the man on the roof then turning to Fogle, Jarla drew her sword. “Impressive again. I need to keep a closer eye on you.”

  Brak continued down the street, still dragging the struggling orc, and stopped in front of a tavern. The disheveled building looked like it could fall down any moment. The posts on the porch were crooked, the wooden planks grey and coated with moldy grime. The double doors at the top entrance were closed, but smoke came out of the chimney at the top of the building. Brak went up the wide staircase. The planks groaned under his every step. Standing on the porch, Brak lifted the orc onto his shoulders and, with a growl and a heave, hurled the brute defender through the doors and then vanished inside himself.

  Screaming people, mostly orcs and half-orcs, male and female, spilled outside.

  Over the chaotic scene of terrified people, Jarla said, “It should be clear now. Let’s go in.”