The Darkslayer: Series 2 Special Edition (Bish and Bone Bundle Books 6-10): Sword and Sorcery Adventures

by Craig Halloran

  “You’ll never be a finer shot than me.” Billip balanced a long wooden spoon on the tip of his pinky finger. “There never was and never will be.”

  “You overrate yourself,” Nikkel said. He hiccupped. “I’ve seen underlings that shoot better than you.”

  “Those are cross words, boy,” Billip replied.

  “Boy? I’m more man than you.” Nikkel moved across the room. He stood toe-to-toe with the shorter Billip. “Call me a boy again.”

  “Boy.”

  Nikkel’s arms snaked around the man in a wink. He lifted Billip off the floor and shook him like a child. “I’m the biggest boy you’ll ever know! Bwahahaahaha!”

  “Put me down, you ogre! And stop shaking me. I’m going to puke.”

  Nikkel swung Billip side to side, laughing all along.

  Venir and Ebenezer both laughed out loud. Ebenezer wiped a tear from his eyes. “I miss the days when I was young and a soldier. I was more human then, but even so, I never shared many times like this. You commoners have a rare gift. You should cherish it.”

  “Commoners?” Venir said in a tone that cut the laughter from the room. Nikkel set Billip down. Everyone’s eyes attached to Ebenezer.

  “Er, not being a royal is a gift. I meant it as a compliment.”

  Venir eased closer to the royal sitting at the table. Billip and Nikkel closed in, as well. Ebenezer’s hand moved toward his sword handle. Suddenly, Venir tossed his head back. His laughter filled the room. “Ah-hahahaha! Only jesting, Ebenezer. We’d rather be dead than be the likes of you.”

  Ebenezer cracked a smile.

  A new voice cut in with a dry tone. “That’s something I can drink to.” Jarla entered the kitchen.

  Nikkel held out his hand as if it was going to catch rain drops. “I feel like it’s going to storm for some reason. Where did all of the atmosphere go?”

  “Jarla swallowed our joy. She’s notorious for that,” Billip said, trying to fight back his laughter. He caught her heavy stare. “Oh, don’t glower at me with those stormy eyes. You know it’s true.”

  “Agreed, peasant.” She turned her attention from Billip to Venir. “Venir, your woman, Kam, is not well. Cass calls for you. She says time is short.”

  CHAPTER 5

  After the battle at the West Gate, Kam had been taken inside Castle Kling. Cass and Jubilee remained by her side. Cass redressed Kam’s wounds. The girl, Jubilee, assisted, fetching bowls of boiled water and clean towels. They were in one of the royal bedrooms, decorated in all the customary royal splendor. The furniture and bedding were the finest craft in the land. The canopy bed was made from centuries-old mahogany that had a shine to it. The bed linens were light pink with floral patterns sewn on the corners. Kam lay in the bed, propped up on a pile of goose-down-filled pillows.

  “You look like a queen.” Jubilee dabbed Kam’s brow with a hot-water-soaked cloth.

  “Well, I don’t feel like a queen,” Kam groaned. She was rubbing Erin’s back. The toddler was curled up in the bed, sleeping beside her. “I feel like someone pried out my ribs with a clawed hammer.”

  “That would be more accurate.” Cass tied her cottony locks in a ponytail behind her head. “The girl is just saying that to make you feel better. You look quite haggard. Aged. It happens.”

  Kam managed a smile. “Thank you for the soothing words, Cass. They are very touching.”

  Jubilee giggled. She laid her head down in Kam’s lap and hugged her leg. “I’m just glad you are getting better. I was worried. I thought you were finished, but Slim intervened.”

  Scooting herself back into the pillows, Kam said, “Where is Slim? Forgive me, but I’m still hazy on the details. All I remember was the fight in the arena, where my guts were ripped out by that underling, Elypsa. The last thing I saw was the victorious sneer on her face.” She made a claw in the air with her hand and turned it into a fist. “I’m going to get her if she still lives.” Her hand fell to her side. “Ugh.”

  “Don’t stir yourself,” Cass said. “You are very weak and will be for some time. Just close your eyes and rest.”

  “What happened to Slim?” she asked.

  “He healed you,” Cass said. “Then he went back into the world of Bish. It’s a druid thing, and Slim is a unique druid.”

  “So, he’s dead?”

  “No, not dead, just not what he was for the time being, I suppose.”

  Kam made a sour face. “I’m not going to turn into a bug, am I?”

  Cass shrugged. “Perhaps it is bugs that mend you together, but they will most likely pass on. In the meantime, it’s safe to assume that they crawl inside of you.”

  “How many?”

  “Thousands, perhaps.”

  Jubilee backed away from the bed. “Ew, you didn’t tell me that.”

  Just as Kam opened her mouth to speak, the bedroom door was flung open. Venir filled the doorway. His eyes were as big as the moons. Caked blood covered bare arms and legs. Tangles of blood-matted hair hung on his shoulders. His gaze hung on Kam. “You’re supposed to knock first,” she said, tilting her head. “Venir, you are looking at me like I’m an apparition. Is there something wrong with me?”

  The stern expression on his face warmed as he crossed the room. He clasped her hand. “You are well?”

  “Yes, did you think otherwise?”

  “Jarla led me to believe something else.” He kissed her hand. “So, you are well?”

  “She’s on the mend,” Cass said. “No thanks to you.” She tried to pry Venir’s fingers from Kam’s. “Will you take your soiled paws from her? Cleanliness is important for healing, and you are filthy.”

  Rubbing Venir’s hands that had a hold of hers, Kam said, “Yes, I have to agree with Cass. Your grime can be spoiling. Please, don’t sit on the sheet. They are the most comfortable I’ve slept in for ages.” She sniffed. “Have you been drinking?”

  “It’s been a long day.”

  Kam arched a brow. “For you or for me?”

  Venir made a sheepish grin. “I’d say both.”

  “So, you rushed up here and didn’t think to bring me anything to drink. That’s not very thoughtful. You didn’t even bring me flowers.”

  “I was going to, but they are all dead. Sorry.”

  “I’m just teasing you, Venir.” She kissed his hand. “I’d hug you if it wouldn’t hurt so much. I missed you.”

  “I missed you.”

  “Things are getting awfully sappy. I think I’m going to go find Brak,” Jubilee said. “I’ll be back, Kam.”

  “Goodbye,” Kam said absentmindedly.

  “I’ll let the two of you have a moment. Try not to break her again, Venir.” Cass slung a towel over the chair, closing the door softly behind her as she departed.

  Kam patted the bed. “Fine, sit.” Venir took a spot on the other side of where Erin lay. Looking into his face, she said, “I get so mad at you sometimes that I hate you. It hurts when you leave, come back, and leave again. I thought I could get used to it, but I couldn’t, at first.”

  Venir started to speak.

  “No, I’m talking. You listen. You are my family. My man, my soldier and warrior. There is no other man I would rather be with than you. But I’m selfish. I want you all the time. Your presence spoils me. But if you weren’t what you are, I wouldn’t be as fond of you as I am. You are the Darkslayer. I think I’ve learned to live with that. But one thing is getting in the way of our relationship, and I don’t think I can get past it.”

  Venir’s face saddened.

  Kam tilted his chin up. Her green eyes sparked. “It’s those underlings. Those bastards of Bish are always going to get in our way unless you kill them all.”

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  Kam reeled Venir in. She gave him a long, passionate kiss. Panting in his face, she said, “Now, put those motherslatters in the grave.”

  CHAPTER 6

  “There you are, Brak,” Jubilee said as she entered Castle Kling�
��s stables. Brak’s long legs poked out of one of the stables. He lay inside, sleeping against Chongo’s belly. “I’ve been looking all over for you. I tried all of the kitchens first, and when I didn’t find you there, to my surprise, I got a little worried. Why are you down here? It’s smelly. You’re finally in a place with beds big enough to lie in, and you come to a stable. Why?” She kicked his boot. “Why?”

  Brak rubbed his blurry eyes. “I just wanted to get away from everyone for a while. I needed to clear my head, I suppose.”

  Jubilee found a clean spot in the hay and sat down. “What does that mean?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s something that adults say before they go sulking off.” He stretched out his stocky arms. He wasn’t as broad shouldered and muscular as his father. Instead, he was built more like an anvil. A very big one. “What’s going on?”

  With her knees pulled to her chest, she said, “Kam’s awake.”

  “She is?” He sat all the way up. “And how is she doing?”

  “She’s getting cozy with your father. I think they are going to make another baby.”

  Brak recoiled. “Ew, I don’t want to know about that.”

  “Why not? Are you scared of making babies?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Yes, maybe, I don’t know. I don’t think about those things.”

  “I do.”

  Brak scooted into Chongo. “Can we talk about something else?”

  “Well, you had relations with Jarla. Tell me about that.”

  “I did not, and no.” Instinctively, he grabbed his cudgel and cradled it to his chest.

  “Are you going to hit me with that?”

  “No.”

  “Then why did you grab it?”

  “Because… I don’t know. Why are you bothering me about this?”

  “Because I want to. You are my friend and you should listen. I’m not a little girl anymore, Brak. I’m a young woman. And I’m a royal. You should be flattered that I take you in my confidence.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, royals are disappearing from Bone awfully quick. You might want to keep that to yourself. It might increase your chances of survival.”

  Jubilee gave Brak a dirty look. “Is that a joke? If it is, it wasn’t very funny.”

  Brak avoided her stare. “Sorry. I really don’t know what to say.”

  She crawled over to him. Straddling one of his thick legs, she took the cudgel away and set it down. “I don’t need you to say anything. I just want you to listen.” She grabbed him by the chin and looked him in the eye. “Can you do that?”

  He gave a feeble nod.

  “Good.” She sighed. “It’s starting to sink in that I might not live to be twenty. Maybe I won’t have a family or a husband. I see what Venir and Kam have, and I want that one day. I might not ever have it.” Her chin dipped. “When I have time to think, which isn’t very often because I’m trying not to die, it makes my heart ache. I feel like my life has no meaning.”

  Brak clasped her little hands in his and nodded.

  Jubilee sniffled. “You know what I like about you, Brak? I know I can count on you. You’re like your father, but you aren’t. He has that axe and helmet. He’s running off after the underlings all the time. But you… you are steadier. You are my anchor. And I know that I couldn’t have made it this far without you. I just want you to know that I’m thankful.”

  Chongo’s head with the floppy ears looked at her, and he panted.

  Brak made a sympathetic groan. “I wouldn’t abandon you, Jubilee. I just get worried about my temper. I guess that’s why I don’t get so close. You know I care for you, don’t you?”

  She threw her arms over his bull neck. Hugging him tight, face wet with tears, she said, “I know, I just needed to hear it.”

  Brak wrapped her up in his arms. It felt good to hold her blossoming body. She pressed her soft lips onto his neck. Goosebumps popped up on his arms. Slowly, their lips came together.

  Chongo stood up to standing position. One head growled and one of the two stiff tails wagged.

  Brak fell onto his back with Jubilee on top of him. “Chongo, what is it?” Brak grabbed the cudgel. He pushed Jubilee behind him. Chongo let out a loud, but happy, bark.

  “Oh, please, stop it. And don’t slobber on me either. Apparently, there is enough slobbering going on in this stable.” Melegal appeared out of thin air. The skinny thief was wearing a clean shirt, trousers, and a vest. He held his hands up, keeping Chongo at bay. He lifted his brows. “Looks like the two of you were about to go on a little hay ride. Interesting for such an odd couple.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jubilee said as she and Brak helped one another to their feet by clasping their hands and pulling.

  “It means, he’s a giant, and you are a little squirrel.” Melegal’s voice was more agitated than normal. “The only thing you have to match him is your big mouth, which may come in handy one day.” Melegal moved to the stable where Quikster lay, flat on his back with his legs up and hooves down. The shaggy-bellied, gray quickpony stirred. He flopped over and came to his feet. Melegal started feeding him from a bag of apples that hung on the door. “Pah. These fruits are rotting. Everything in this city is rotting. Brak, has your father found a way to save us yet?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Brilliant answer. More than I expected from a young man whose loins are burning.”

  Brak covered his nether region with his hands. “What are you doing here?”

  “The same as you, waiting for some desperate maiden to come along and fondle me.”

  Jubilee’s cheeks reddened. “Don’t talk to me like that, you hag!”

  “Oh, the wit. With such sharp remarks, my ears are bleeding.” Nonchalantly, he added, “Please, please, no more. I can’t handle the blistering comments coming from the little lost royal.” He sighed, tossed Quikster another apple, and looked at them. “Oh, stop pouting. It’s not a good day, or at least, the bleakness is more apparent than normal. I need to speak with Venir. Just not right away.”

  “Why?” Brak asked.

  “Because we’re about to be up to our necks in underlings, orcs, and ogre arses.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Fogle sat on the benches inside the Castle Kling arena. All of the dead had been hauled away by the dwarves. There were only a few seats that weren’t soiled with blood and grit. The big-headed scholar had his familiar, an ebony hawk, in his hands. Using a burning candlestick, he melted the webbing from the sticky, metallic-feathered bird. Inky’s black eyelids flicked open and closed. He burned off the last of the webbing. “I think that’s the last of it.” He tossed the ebony hawk in the air.

  Inky took flight. The familiar circled the room a few times before soaring out the shattered glass dome.

  Fogle dripped wax onto the bench and stuck the burning candle upright. The arena was a disaster. It would take weeks of scrubbing before the stench was gone. If they survived the battle with the underlings, he hoped the dwarves would stay to help clean up.

  “This isn’t even my castle. I’m not sure why I’m even worried about it.” He picked up the spellbook that was on the other side of him and opened the pages just past the middle. It was something he did when he wasn’t certain what he wanted to look at. The book was filled with hundreds of spells, and he’d yet to research them all. In most cases, the lettering was intricate and very small. Yawning, he flipped through the pages.

  Not only did Fogle’s body ache, but his mind did, as well. He was tired. It was hard to concentrate. Casting all of the dimension door spells took the magic right out of him. The wind too. He found a spell that Boon had written. “Bone Twist.” He read through part of the spell. The bones of a person would be twisted until they snapped. Fogle shivered. “That’s a nasty one. Nothing worse than the sound of bones cracking.”

  “Are you talking to yourself, Fogle Lonely?” Cass said. The petite woman entered through the archways. She practically glided down the stairs a
s she walked.

  “The Gossamer Goddess graces me with her presence.” He closed the spellbook. “I’m honored.”

  The albino woman showed a dazzling smile. “Flattery. I really like that. I’m so glad that you are finding better use for your tongue. You might go farther with that.”

  “Yes, unless the underlings cut it out first.” He patted a spot on the bench beside him. She sat down. “If you don’t mind me asking, how is Kam doing?”

  “The woman whose breasts you swoon over is doing well. She’s awake. Her superior mate, Venir, is at her bedside now.”

  “You have a way with words, don’t you?”

  Cass hooked her soft, slender arm in his. Her voice was an exotic purr. “I have many special ways, Fogle. You know that.” She brushed his hair out of his eyes. “How are you doing?”

  “I was just sitting in the field of carnage wondering how I’m still living.”

  “You don’t have to fight. You could always flee with me. I’ll keep you warm and happy.”

  “That’s tempting, but this fight will never end. Someone has to end it.”

  “You sound like your muscle-bound friend. What does he know? Look at him. His eyes are as restless as a hungry panther. He has no peace of mind. It is a flaw with men. If they aren’t warring with themselves, they make war with someone else. Men should be more like women.”

  “Huh, no offense, but I don’t know about that.”

  “Who are you fighting, men or women, Fogle? Women just want a man to cozy and nuzzle. They don’t want them to die in a fight. All of this bloodshed comes at the hands of men, be it underling or not. They are consumed over power. It sickens me. That’s why I left and became a druid. The land might be harsh, but it doesn’t fight or talk back, most of the time.”

  “I think there is more to it than that.” Fogle looked up through the skylight. One of the moons glowed a pale green above. “Much more. There has to be, doesn’t there?”

  “I only know what I know.” She slung her arms around his neck. “Do you have the strength to carry me up to one of these empty rooms? I could use your company.”