by Lane Whitt
“I want to see it! Make a video and send it to me. So not fair you assholes got to feel it move before I did,” Logan pouts.
“I’m feeling it right now,” Ash replies smugly.
“You know what? I think I’m going to go through your closet today. You know…to brighten up your wardrobe,” Logan threatens in a sickly-sweet voice.
Ash frowns deeply. “You wouldn’t dare,” he growls. I would laugh, but my belly starts moving around frantically at that moment, making me feel uneasy again.
Reed chuckles from the phone in front of me. “We might have a problem. Our little guy seems to really like it when Ash is pissed off.”
I stare down at my tummy in confusion, even though I can’t see it through my sweater and Ash’s hand. “Remy, tell it to stop,” I whine.
“It really makes you that uncomfortable?” Kellan hedges.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Kind of. Something is moving around inside me that isn’t me, but kind of is me. It’s just…strange, I guess,” I answer.
“It’s not something, baby. It’s our tiny little guy and he likes to play around in there. Watch, if I move my hand over here he’ll kick it,” Ash tells me, showing me what he means. That time I think I actually saw the shape of a foot or a hand. “You try it,” Ash encourages, lifting my shirt for me.
I poke at my belly, making something both kick my insides and push the same spot I poked. The inside kicks are really uncomfortable.
Reed laughs again. “You startled him with whatever you did. But he’s excited at the same time.” He adds with a sigh, “I think he’s going to have multiple personalities or something; he rarely settles on one emotion at a time.”
“Well, he’s coming to life. I’m sure it takes time to learn emotions and all that. Just look at Ash. He’s ancient, and barely understands emotions,” Tristan jokes, followed by what I know to be the sound of a high-five with Logan.
“Tell Kitten that he’s not angry and trying to escape,” Jace demands. “That should put her mind at ease and maybe she’ll warm up to him.”
I blink at Jace. “It’s not that I don’t like the baby. I do; I love it already, actually. It’s just that seeing and feeling it move is different than just knowing it’s in there. Picture a baby, then imagine it’s in your stomach, living in there, moving around, doing whatever babies do. Tell me that doesn’t freak you out a bit.”
“Of course, it does. I’m a man. That would never happen,” he states simply. I roll my eyes. Maybe they can’t understand.
“He’s not angry, Kitten. The only time I pick up any negativity is at night, when he’s awake and no one is speaking. He likes our voices and misses them when he can’t hear them. Though, he is hungry, very much so. Have you been eating?” Reed asks.
There’s a shocked gasp on the other end of line. “My baby is hungry?” Tristan asks sadly, a little bit of panic slipping through his tone. “Feed her! What the hell is your malfunction, you assholes? There better be a mountain of food in front of that girl in two minutes or I will hunt you down and beat you to within an inch of your lives, I swear to God.” He continues his shouting as he’s obviously being dragged away from the phone and being told to calm down.
My eyes are bugging out of my head. I’ve never heard Tristan so upset before. He’s usually the calm and collected one, with a voice like warm butter.
Mmm…warm butter on fresh bread. Yum.
“What did you just do?” Reed asks curiously as everyone else remains silent.
“Nothing. I haven’t moved,” I respond, wondering if he was talking to me or someone else.
“Weird,” he says.
“We should go see what’s happening with Tristan and the others. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him that worked up, and it never ends well. Eat something, Love. Call whenever you want. I know Kellan had a lot he wanted to talk about before he had to go. Try to call him, please.”
“Okay, Remy. I love you and I love anyone else still in the room, too,” I add.
“Love you too, sweetheart,” Reed replies amusedly.
“Love you,” Remy responds. “Guys, keep her safe. Take care of yourselves as well,” he finishes before the call ends.
“Great, now Tristan is going to try to poison us from now on,” Jace grumbles.
“We’ll be lucky if that’s all he does,” Ash says with a shudder.
I stare up at him, tilting my head. “You’re afraid of Tristan?” I ask with a smirk.
Ash raises his brows, looking down at me with a serious expression. “Tristan can be one scary mother fucker when he feels like it. Don’t let the mellow vibes he gives off fool you. He chooses to be that way now, but that wasn’t always the case.”
Tristan? My Tristan? I have a hard time believing that, but Ash would know better than I would. It’s an interesting fact to keep in mind. I feel bad that he’s so upset, though. It’s my fault I haven’t been eating, not the guys’. He should know that. I kind of feel like the baby just tattled on me through Reed.
Looking at my tummy again, I lift my shirt to address the baby. “Next time you’re hungry, tell me first, okay?” The small kick I get in return is response enough for me. I’m glad we understand each other. At least on that issue. I might be satisfied with crackers, but it seems the baby won’t be, so I decide to make more of an effort.
Tristan
“No! I will not calm down. I finally have a child and it’s starving before it’s even born? I don’t fucking think so. We have money, we have food, and yet we have a hungry baby? What part of this is making sense to you?” I shout at the room as I stalk back and forth in front of them. How can they sit at a time like this?
“Reed didn’t say he was starving, just that he was hungry. For all we know, he’s constantly hungry. Kitten will eat when she feels like eating,” Kellan placates.
“Will she, though? Her own emotions have been all over the place, and so far, every time she’s thought one of us was mad at her, she’s punished herself. Since eating without me around is an issue for her in the first place, I can only imagine that’s how she’s choosing to punish herself this time.”
My heart literally aches, knowing my mate and child are starving to death while I sit around and do nothing about it.
“It’s all in your head, Tristan. You’re not thinking clearly,” Finn chimes in.
I kick at the coffee table, ensuring it flies across the room and smacks into the wall. That felt fucking amazing. Stepping over to an unoccupied chair I stomp on the arm of it, a satisfying crack igniting my blood. It takes me only moments to shred that fucker and tear the frame apart. It’s not enough, I want more. More destruction, more pain.
I need it.
Just as I’m looking for something to put up a bit more fight than a piece of furniture, Remy strides in, followed by Reed. I meet his steely eyes and sad expression, with desperation showing on my face for him to see. “I can’t take this anymore, Remington. She needs me. They need me. I’ve tried, but I can’t…I can’t do it.” I choke up, my nails biting into my palms, causing me to bleed all over the carpet. A slight relief goes through me, but it’s not enough.
I was convinced to stay behind and allow Jace and Ash to escort Kitten to Australia. I didn’t like it, but I agreed that too many of us would send the wrong message. They assured me that she’d be taken care of. They promised that they’d remind her to eat. I told them this would happen. I fucking knew it! You can take the girl out of the streets, but you can’t the streets out of the girl. She eats when we eat now, but if left to her own devices she reverts back to old habits. The worst habit being forgetting to eat unless she’s starving.
The only real change to this habit since being with us is the fact that she can’t stomach just any food she comes across when she does realize she’s hungry. Not like when she was living on the streets. I’ve worked my ass off to fix the damage Marcus and Adam caused. Who knows if my not being around to care for her is causing a setback? Why did I agre
e to this? What the fuck have I done!
Remy watches me with a resigned expression. My other brothers know what’s coming. It makes them sad, especially Reed. I wish I wasn’t like this, wish I didn’t cause them so much pain every time the need is too much to bear. It’s how I control it, though. The darkness that is a continual rage inside me. Either I tear apart everything and everyone around me, delighting in the pain and destruction to feed that darkness. Or, I need to be in pain. To have that darkness literally beaten back.
“We can go to her. Right, Rem?” Reed practically begs, his eyes shifting into a haunted blue, already turning watery.
“We can,” Remy says carefully, his eyes never leaving me.
“See, Tris? We’ll go. You’ll do your thing and everyone will be fine. No need for…you know,” he pleads, hopeful. Too hopeful. I’m not strong enough to fight this. More guilt piles up, knowing my weakness is hurting him, too.
I grind my teeth, closing my eyes to try to calm myself, thinking of getting to my girl. It doesn’t work, it just makes me angrier. In my mind she’s skinnier than ever before, her movements stiff and slow due to no energy. The baby, my baby, cries silently from inside his mother as he starves to death before he’s even given a chance.
I slap at the side of my head, attempting to knock the image from my mind. I push the image away as hard as I can, but it’s quickly replaced by another. Then another. Memories assault me like a sick and twisted show.
Silk.
Lace.
Thick fingers wrapping around tiny wrists.
Ribcages exposed through ill-fitting finery created to tease and entice.
Eyes. Always the fucking eyes! Sunken sockets surrounded by gaunt faces and painted lips. “No! Fucking no, no, no, no!”
It’s enough to set me off. The last thing I remember is an ear-shattering growl and my point of view changing as I’m forced to shift, throwing myself at Remington, going for his throat.
Remy
The five of us converge as one, moving quickly to subdue the sand-colored wolf that snaps and snarls at us. Reed had turned away, shutting himself in his room, dealing with his own pain over the situation. We fight and struggle with Tristan as we move him to a room we had to set up here that Kitten doesn’t yet know about.
Logan takes a swipe to the face, Tristan’s claws leaving deep gouges and nearly missing his left eye. Throwing him in and shutting the door quickly, I thank the others as I mentally prepare myself for what I have to do. The door shakes behind me as the unhinged wolf throws himself at it, trying to break free.
“I’ll be ready,” Kellan tells me softly, clapping me on the shoulder in a show of support. This isn’t easy for him either. It isn’t easy for any of us. He and Finn help Logan navigate as they go to patch him up.
Damn, I had hoped this all would have come to an end. It’s been so long since the last time…fuck! I scrub a hand roughly down my face and blow out a breath. How am I supposed to explain this to her? How could she ever understand? She’ll hate me, I just know it. I’ll fail her, again.
Feeling like I’m slitting my own wrists, I slip through the door and meet the broken eyes of my brother. I feel the same right now. I have to. It’s what he needs from me. I won’t leave him to deal with this himself.
With hackles raised and teeth bared, he stalks the other end of the room. Waiting. Tristan is the most observant of us all, and he gets that from his wolf. And maybe a little from his human life. His wolf is smart, always looking for that little tick of vulnerability, an opening. I have half a mind to give him one and let his ass get in trouble with Kitten instead of me. Though, even as I think it, my own wolf bristles inside of me at the thought of losing a fight. Once he’s out, there will be none of that. Besides, Tristan isn’t himself. He’s out for blood. He’d shred me to pieces if I let him. His wolf wouldn’t be satisfied with a simple defeat; he’d want the kill.
Making a pile of my clothing in the corner I eye the feral wolf once more, knowing that as soon as I shift, he’ll attack. I won’t have even a split second to reorient myself before he’s on me.
Right. Let’s do this.
Kitten
I wake feeling sad. Cornered, frustrated, and anxious as well. But mostly sad. I’ve been lying here for a long time, not wanting to move, not knowing what my next step is when I do. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here. What did I really think I was going to do about this war they declared on us? How do I make them see that we should all be friends?
“You worry too much,” Jace grumbles from above my head, sounding more asleep than awake.
“I’d say sorry, but I wouldn’t mean it. I can’t help but worry. I want this over and to go back home with the others,” I tell him quietly, trying not to wake Ash lying next to us.
“You miss them.” It’s not a question.
“I don’t feel right being away from them this long. Like I’m not whole,” I try to explain.
“You’re getting homesick, Doll,” Jace sighs.
“Maybe. I’ve never been homesick before,” I admit. “I’m also worried that I’ll leave here having accomplished nothing. I feel like getting these people on our side is the final piece of a very long puzzle, but no matter which way I twist and turn it I can’t get it to fit.”
“You’re going to have to get out of bed before you can do anything. That’s your first step. Your next step will be to eat something and get dressed. Then, you’re going to have face them again,” Ash’s deep voice tells me. His eyes are still closed, but I guess he was awake the whole time.
Taking Ash’s advice, I’m dressed, once again in an over-sized sweater in a cream color, and black slacks with low heels. I’ve discovered I have a new-found love of cheese crackers with peanut butter spread inside them. I’m disappointed that I ate all of them in one go.
God, I miss Tristan. He’s spoiled me and now I don’t know how to function without him.
Outside, my two mates and I let our eyes adjust to the bright sunshine that Australia never seems to be lacking in. If I concentrate my sight on the far-off boulders that make up their pack home, I can see the Australian wolf pack relaying the message that we’ve left our sanctuary.
Within moments, there’s movement towards our plane. A few moments later the Alpha and his entourage are in front of us, redressing and encircling us.
“So, it seems you’re done pouting. Is today the day you leave then?” Kendrick says with amusement lilting his tone.
I laugh. Long and deep. This is how he wants to start the day? “Really, Kendrick?” I say once I get myself under control. I throw my hands out to my sides. “Maybe I gave you too much credit. I thought, here’s this strong Alpha out here, surviving where little else can survive. No, scratch that. Your pack is thriving out here. I’ve been in contact with a lot of packs. Almost none of them are as well off as yours. Yet, here you are…letting your hatred rule you like a little bitch.”
Logan would be so proud of me.
Snarling ensues, as expected. Also as expected, my mates meet the threats with their own. However, I continue as if I heard none of it. “What is you want from me? I’ve been honest, vulnerable, open to your side of things, and more than willing to work with you. All that’s left is a show of force.
“You might want to take time and really think hard about that, Kendrick. You started this war because of the threat my mates and the other changed wolves I have in my pack pose to you and yours. Your fear of their raw power and overwhelming strength speaks for itself. You’re afraid to fight us, yet you seem determined to push me to do just that.”
Kendrick’s lip curls in disgust. “You think I’m afraid of the four of you? On my lands, with my entire pack just one order away from ending you?” he scoffs.
I press on as if he hadn’t just interrupted me. “Not to mention I now have several other packs that would come to my defense with one phone call. I want you as an ally but, make no mistake, I do not need you. I could take you out and replace y
ou with someone willing to work with me. I could also end your entire pack right here and now. I choose not to do that. That’s the Luna I am,” I growl, my skin rippling as I work to repress my wolf. That part of me wants to rip him in half and call it a day.
Kendrick is obviously having the same problem as he replies, “What I want is for you and yours to leave here and never return. I want nothing to do with you.”
I laugh again, though this time it sounds cold, even to my own ears. “You should have thought of that before you started a war you can’t win. You brought me here. Your actions alone. Now, I will leave here today. I’m done with you. But I came here for an answer, for a solution. Either way, I’ll have my answer. This stupid war ends today. I leave here with a friend and ally or I leave corpses to rot in the sun. The choice is yours. If a show of force is what you wish, I’ll gladly oblige.”
The men surrounding us have all shifted to wolves, an almost undetectable wave rippling as they fight the need to charge forward, waiting on their Alpha’s order. I feel the coarse hair of Ash and Jace’s wolves at my sides, their bodies taught with tension. They’ve shifted as well. In a split second this could go from heated conversation to bloodbath.
I’m sorry it’s come down to this. I really am. Kendrick showed up today having already made his decision. I’ve offered friendship yet again, but it’s like Remy said: It’s not up to me. I won’t leave this threat hanging over our heads. If he wants a fight, I’ll give him one.
Chapter Eleven
My eyes never stray from Kendrick’s. I’ve tried. I know I’ll regret having to hurt him or anyone else, but I can’t think of that now. He’s forced my hand. His unwillingness to listen got us to this point.
He stares back, eyes dancing with emotions I have no name for. He’s stuck. I know it, he knows it, we all know it. He can’t back down now, but moving forward could mean the demise of them all if he’s overestimated his strength. Same as me. We’re both stuck.