Loving My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  A slow clapping sound makes its way to my ears, almost breaking our stare-off. However, the voice that follows manages to break Kendrick’s first. “Bravo, young one. I couldn’t agree more. Kendrick, my darling, I’d say the Luna has proved her mettle, don’t you? It’s clear these changed wolves don’t rule her, as you thought. They were waiting for her order, not the other way around,” Anna says brightly, like there’s not a bunch of wolves ready to kill each other right in front of her.

  It’s obvious when Kendrick finally caves. I saw what she did. Anna was offering him a way out. He chose wisely and took it. His shoulders lose their tension even as his eyes never stray from my mates, who have yet to back off. Not that I’ll tell them to. Contrary to what Anna just said, I don’t give them orders. I never will. I think she knows that, too, but her words allowed her mate to save face in front of his pack members.

  Kendrick holds out a hand for Anna. She cheerily takes it, sidling up to his side like glue. I don’t miss the elbow she gives his ribs when the silence drags on a little too long. “Luna…” Kendrick clears his throat before continuing. “I will agree to attend your meeting of the minds, and to call off the war against your pack pending what transpires there,” he states grudgingly.

  More silence follows, along with another elbow from his mate before he drags her to the side and they converse low enough that I can’t hear. Fortunately, their distraction has their members shifting toward them and prying their eyes off us. I use that moment to release the adrenaline built up inside me in the form of a slow breath, and lay my hands on the giant wolves on either side of me. I shake slightly but they both press into me, calming me. That was close.

  Kendrick eventually sends away all but one other wolf to remain with him. His look tells me he expects me to do the same. I just smile sheepishly back at him. No way will Ash and Jace leave me, so I’m not even going to ask.

  With an eyeroll of understanding, Kendrick moves closer to us. “We need to talk.”

  My brows rise in surprise. “I would have thought you’d want me to leave as soon as possible.”

  He nods slowly. “I do, but there are things we need to discuss if we are ever going to be allies. Things you need to know. Anna thinks you have a right to know.”

  “Do you? Think that I have a right to know, I mean?” I ask. It’s hard to tell which one of them played the better game today. Did Kendrick really want to back down because I passed some sort of test? Or did his mate know he was about to lose a fight and offer up an excuse like a lifeline? So far, I’ve been the only one to give anything. They’ve only taken.

  For the first time since meeting him, he looks a little lost. “I do, but at the same time I’m wary to tell you, in light of your chosen mates.”

  “Well, then, that’s easy. They’re mine and I’m theirs. That’s not going to change, so you might as well tell me,” I offer.

  “It’s not that simple. There’s telling and then there’s showing. And for that, you’re going to need to come with me alone,” he explains.

  Ash growls deeply, stepping in front of me. I stroke his side, reminding him that I’m right here, that I’m safe. “That might be a problem.”

  Kendrick’s expression hardens. “If you want me to trust you and yours, then you’re going to have to trust me. Where we’re going, they can’t come. It’s not for my benefit, but other’s. It’s a promise I won’t break, and once you see you’ll agree.”

  I blow out a breath, looking to the sky for patience I don’t possess. “I need to speak to all my mates about this. I make no guarantees.”

  He nods. “Take all the time you need. I’m going to go check on Anna. Come find me when you’re ready.”

  Kendrick is barely out of sight before I’m snatched up bridal-style and moved with blurring speed to the back bedroom of the plane. The door is slammed shut in Ash’s face as Jace rounds on me, getting in my face. “What the actual fuck!” he yells.

  “Excuse me?” I say, crossing my arms in defense.

  He stalks forward, making me step back until I hit the wall. “You did it again! Un-fucking-believable. You almost got all of us killed because he insulted you. You rush in head first without thinking. What were you thinking, standing out there, pregnant as fuck—need I remind you—daring the leader of the fiercest wolf pack in the world to kill you!”

  I shove at his chest. He doesn’t move an inch. I rant back at him anyway. “I was thinking that I was solving the issue. We weren’t getting anywhere dealing with him like we were. He showed up here, done with us today. I showed him that we decide when it’s done, not him. And look! It worked. Why are you mad?”

  “Mad?! Fucking mad doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel right now. I am downright bloody livid, Kitten! You can’t do that to us, you can’t do that to me. I won’t fucking survive without you. You don’t get to decide to put yourself on a silver platter for our enemies taking. That is not your choice!”

  “That’s not what I was doing and you know it!” I shout in his face. “Why can’t you trust me?”

  Jace leans forward, his palms caging me in above my head, his chest brushing mine as he breathes rapidly. “What are doing to me?” he says quietly, frustrated. “Are you trying to kill me? Do you want me dead?” He pushes from the wall, brandishing a long knife from his waist and thrusting it into my hand.

  When I move to drop it, he places his hand over mine, squeezing so tightly it’s almost painful. He aims the point at his chest, over his heart.

  “What are you doing?!” I scream, panicked. “Jace, stop!”

  “No, I won’t stop,” he growls, pressing the blade deeper and causing himself to bleed. “Just kill me now. If you just can’t help yourself and have to put your life on the line at every given chance, then just make sure I go before you. End it now so I don’t have to live with that kind of grief.” His voice breaks as he begs me.

  “Jace, stop.” My own voice ends on a sob. “You’re scaring me. I don’t want you dead. I’m not trying to get myself killed.”

  “I know. I know that, beautiful. I do. But you keep ending up in these situations anyway. I won’t live like this. I don’t want to live always wondering when you’re going to be taken from me. Knowing you’re going to jump at the chance. You broke me, Kitten. I was fine without you, but now I can’t live without you.”

  “Jace…” I sob, feeling every bit of his pain. Pain that I caused, once again.

  Bringing my other hand up, I pry his hand away from mine. He lets me. Flinging the knife as far away from us as possible, I wrap both arms around his chest and bury my face in his neck, crying uncontrollably. “I need you, too. I’ll stop, okay? I’ll…I don’t know…I’ll stop doing whatever hurts you.”

  “You won’t,” he replies thickly. I realize he’s crying, too, though he’s hiding it better than me. He cries pretty. Of course, he does. He’s Jace. “You don’t even know you’re going to do before you do it.”

  “I d-didn’t offer myself up on a platter out there. I don’t know how to make you believe me. How can I make you see things the way I see them when we’re awake? I saw his eyes, Jace. Heard it in his voice. He was waiting for us, probably has been since we came back here. He was going to intimidate us into leaving. He didn’t want peace; he was going to make us back down then throw his whole force at our pack. I couldn’t let that happen. I trusted you and Ash to keep us safe. They fear you. You already had power over them. I picked a fight I knew we’d win because I had you and Ash.”

  “You didn’t know that,” he denies adamantly.

  “I did. I saw it. Why don’t you trust me?” I ask breathlessly. I close my eyes, now seeing this is the real problem here.

  He pauses, just staring at me.

  “Because you’re a loaded gun with a faulty trigger. I never know when you’re going to go off, and I can’t prepare for the blowback,” he growls at me, gold eyes dancing with emotion.

  “Jace, I am who I am. How do I change what makes me me? I ne
ed you to trust me. I don’t want to die. I won’t leave you. But I have to fight for what I think is right. I can’t live any other way. If you want me to stand back and watch others suffer when I can do something about it, then you might as well pick up that knife and end me yourself.”

  He grabs my shoulders roughly. “Don’t ever say that again,” he snarls. I get a look at his golden eyes, shining with glistening tears. On any other man they might look less than manly. On Jace? He looks like a fierce warrior-angel.

  I scoff accusingly. “Yet you asked me to do the same to you. I won’t survive without you either, you know? I don’t need to live thousands of years to know that a world without you in it isn’t worth having. I can’t live without me, either. So, I don’t second-guess myself. I’ve lived my whole life based on instinct and I don’t plan on changing that. It’s who I am. It led to me to you, it told me I could trust you. Listen to your own instincts, Jace. I bet they’re telling you to trust me, too.”

  “I-you…fuck! You are the most infuriating person I have ever met.” His lips crash to mine painfully and without warning.

  I grip his hair roughly, trying to pull him away. This conversation isn’t over. He growls in warning before his tongue snakes into my mouth. His hands go behind my thighs, hoisting me up against the wall, his body pressing between them, pinning me.

  I groan in both frustration and pleasure. Taking control of his punishing kiss, I bite his bottom lip before sucking it into my mouth. His response is to tear the front of my sweater, using one hand to push down the cups of my bra. He rips his mouth away from me, and now I growl at him.

  His hot mouth shifts to my bared breasts. My head thumps against the wall as I arch into his touch. One of hands comes up to grip my throat lightly, applying just enough pressure to keep me in place, chest and neck bared to him in submission. The heat between my legs is almost unbearable. I can feel him between our clothes. Hot. Heavy. Needy.

  I rub against him, but the friction isn’t enough. I grab at his shirt, my lust-filled brain not knowing if I’m pulling toward me or trying to push him away. “Jace…” I groan.

  He only growls again, showing no signs of ending his feast of my hardened nipples. Drawing my legs around his, I press at the back of his knees with my heels. A surprised grunt leaves him as his hands release me to cushion our fall. Landing on top of him on the floor, I waste no time ripping his shirt open, my hands skimming his muscled chest possessively as I sink my teeth into his neck, tasting him, claiming him as mine all over again.

  He curses, head falling to the side, giving me better access. I lick and suck like my life depends on it. I make the mistake of grunting in smug satisfaction as I grind my hips over his. He uses my pleasurable distraction against me.

  Flipping us over, Jace pulls on my waistband until both the button and zipper break. His mouth finds its way back to mine, tongue fighting for dominance against mine. With one hand behind me, holding my hair hostage, his other hand works my pants and panties down my legs.

  I reach forward, attempting to do the same to him. He releases my hair, capturing my hands and holding them above my head. I struggle against him, wanting so badly to feel his velvety, pulsing cock in my hand before placing it inside me.

  He doesn’t release me as he shoves his pants down just enough to free himself. I feel him brush my slick entrance and stop my struggle. This works, too.

  He presses the full length of himself up and down teasingly, but holds back from entering me. I break the kiss long enough to beg. “Please…”

  “Oh, no. I need you to feel me, Doll. I need you to feel how much I need you. I fucking need you more than I need air. More than I’ve ever needed anything. You’d take this from me? This perfect fucking body and this feeling of absolute belonging that I can only get with you now?” he spews hotly at me. Moving his hands to my biceps he grinds harder into me, his face hovering above mine the ultimate example of bliss.

  With my legs wrapped around his waist, I turn us again so that I straddle him. I continue to slide over him as his hands fall to my hips. I kiss the evidence of the knife pressed to his chest reverently, the wound already healed. Leaning down, I drag my aching breast up his chest as I nip at his ear, letting my lips and breath soothe the sting as I speak. “I won’t take anything from you, I promise.”

  His eyes show his vulnerability. He’s finally letting me in. I kiss him again, passionately, giving back everything he’s giving me. Reaching between us I grip the base of his cock, lining it up with my hot and ready entrance. “Except maybe this,” I whisper as I sink onto him. “This is mine.”

  “Hell, yes. Always this. Take all the this you need, Doll. Fuck, take all the this,” he responds on a groan.

  I close my eyes, savoring the stretching feeling of finally having him inside me. When I reopen them, I’m on my back again. Before I can protest, he’s slamming into me hard enough to make me cry out. He works my knees over his shoulders for a better angle and pounds into me as I reach out for something to grab on to, something to hold me to the here and now as he fucks me to a new plane of existence.

  I crash, slam, explode, and detonate so many times that I think I forget life outside of Jace being inside of me before he finally releases his hot seed inside of me with a possessive roar of a conquering king.

  I’m half-dead, or more likely half-asleep, when I hear his smug voice whispering in my ear. “I win.”

  I smile sleepily. I don’t know about that. If the sedated pleasure I’m feeling right now is any indication, I definitely won.

  I don’t know how long the guys allowed me to sleep, but eventually I was awoken to shower and change once more. Now, sitting around the table with a smug Jace, a jealous Ash, and an embarrassed Albert, we listen to the line ring as we attempt to contact the others. I had tried Kellan first, but he hadn’t answered. Remy’s phone almost goes to mailbox or whatever it’s called before we hear his signature rumble come over the line.

  “Is everything okay on your end, Rem?” Ash picks up Remy’s odd tone immediately.

  With a deep sigh, he replies. “If that isn’t a loaded question…” He trails off.

  As the two men wait each other out to speak first, Albert attempts to break the tension. “Kitten was able to get the Australians’ acquiescence and they’ve agreed to the meeting.”

  “Really, now? Congratulations, Kitten. I’m proud of you. Does this mean the war is over?” Remy asks.

  “The war is over,” I say softly.

  “Thank fuck,” he says, relieved. “Look, I don’t have much time, but plans have changed. Once everything settles here, we’ll be on our way to meet up with you. If you plan on leaving soon, give me a heads up.”

  “What’s going on, Remington?” Ash asks again, losing patience.

  “Just leave it for now, Ash. Everyone is whole and accounted for. That has to be good enough for now,” Remy replies just as sternly.

  “Fine. The reason we called is Kendrick is wanting to take Kitten somewhere that Jace and I can’t go. Apparently, the asshole has information he needs to share with her and only her,” Ash informs him.

  “No,” Remy says with finality.

  I groan, loudly. “Come on. Why does it always come down to this?” I grumble.

  “We’re not risking your safety,” he says flatly.

  “I get that you want me safe, but why do you all act as if I’ll accidentally walk off the side of a cliff if left on my own?” I respond heatedly. This is almost the exact same conversation I just had with Jace.

  “If your fall and subsequent death would feed a stray dog for a day, you would,” he drones.

  “Exactly! Well put, Remington,” Jace chimes in.

  “Hush, you,” I snap at my golden boy. “Remington, we are going to at least discuss this. I don’t believe Kendrick will harm me. He alluded to ensuring the safety of others by us traveling alone. I want to know what he knows. He’s asked for our trust, and I think it would be a good move to give it to him.�
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  “So, you’re going to run off again behind our backs if I say no?” He’s furious, I can tell.

  Well, so am I. “No, I won’t. I told him that we would all discuss the matter. I’m just asking to have an actual discussion here. All of you will need to learn to trust my judgement and value my opinions, just as I will yours. Am I not your Luna?”

  I’m met with silence. As I wait with my heart in my throat, I notice Ash’s eyes assessing me. I don’t have time to figure out why he’s looking at me like that before Remy finally speaks again. “You are our Luna. You’re correct that trust has to go both ways. Can you do me a favor, my beautiful and intelligent Luna?” He’s sucking up. That doesn’t bode well for me.

  “Anything,” I respond quickly, and a little more breathily than I’d intended. Something about how Remy called me his Luna sent delicious shivers throughout my body.

  He chuckles deeply. “Careful with that, Love. I’d like Albert to escort you out of hearing range for a few moments. I’d like to get all the men together and discuss this, like you’ve asked.”

  “Why can’t I be a part of the conversation?” I pout.

  “We already know your opinion, and it’s easier to say no, if that’s our decision, when you’re not pouring your heart out and using your “Kitten logic” against us,” he jokes, but I know he’s kind of serious at the same time.

  “Fine, that seems fair. Just promise me you will really think about it,” I sulk.

  “I promise. Just a few minutes.”

  “I’ll walk you out. We’ll get some air.” Albert offers me his arm before realizing that I’d never take it. Instead, he waits for me to pass him, then closes the exit hatch as I descend the stairs.

  It’s still light out, and as hot as usual around here. If I had my doubts before, I’m more than positive now that Logan didn’t pack my wardrobe. Or maybe he did and this is his way of punishing me for leaving without him. He’s sneaky like that.

  “That was a very brave thing you did earlier, my Luna,” Albert tells me as we stroll leisurely around the plane, making a big circle. He walks with his hands behind his back, as I’ve seen both him and Maksim do countless times. I try it myself, but instantly feel uncomfortable and drop my arms back to my sides. Maybe that’s only for people with long arms.