Loving My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  “Don’t let him lie to you, he was an angel,” Maksim tells me, patting my cheek. Now who’s lying?

  I wave Quinn forward as everyone else makes their way into the house. “Mikey, this is Quinn and his friends. Quinn, this is my son. The one I was telling you about.”

  Mikey looks up at me with a confused look on his face. “You go away and bring me back an Australian?”

  That has us all laughing. “He’s not for you, you little weirdo. He’s my friend; I just thought you should meet.”

  “And I’m not Australian, mate. I’m from New Zealand,” Quinn adds, flicking his ear.

  Albert takes over showing our new members where they can stay, while the rest of us head upstairs. I make a face at the third floor as a whole. You would think after being away I’d feel relieved to be back, but this place still doesn’t feel like home.

  I take a quick shower, not wanting to dawdle. Mikey has discovered something called the Marvel Universe, and we decide to make a night of watching as many movies as we can before falling asleep. So, with a bowl full of popcorn, I sit wrapped in a blanket on the floor. Logan sits behind me, drying my hair as the first movie begins.

  Hours later I’m staring at screen intently, trying to decide if I love Loki or hate him. Mikey is beside me, face covered in chocolate from way too many brownie bites. Ash is the only one keeping up with us. Actually, I think he’s more into this than me and Mikey. We’ve already discussed our favorites. Mikey is a loyal Iron Man fan, Ash favors the Hulk (naturally), and I’m crushing hard on Thor. But Hawkeye is so freaking cool and mysterious that I like him, too. I’m determined to get my hands on a bow as soon as I can. I’m positive that I can get Finn to design some arrows that explode on contact for me. I tried to wake up Jace and ask him to get me a bow, but he just looked at me like I was insane and promptly went back to sleep.

  I’m pretty sure the sun has already come up, and I’m sure this is a prime example of bad parenting. On the other hand, thoroughly researching a subject matter isn’t a bad thing. Besides, I missed the little guy. I’m glad we found something we can share, even if it’s just movies. Completely awesome movies, but still.

  During the slower parts, Mikey talks to me. He tells me about his refusal to learn another language and his total dislike of tea. He was able to break Maksim down until he let him enjoy sweet iced tea with him instead of the traditional stuff. I suppose that’s proof that the old Alpha just enjoys having the company. He also let Mikey ride on him for a run with some of the other pack members. It warms my heart to hear that he wasn’t left out while I was gone. The two seem to really have gotten along.

  When Mikey starts yawning more than not, I decide to call it a night. I help him wash his face before we brush our teeth together, competing over who can hold the mouthwash the longest before it burns too much. I totally let him win that one. Tucking him in is an easy task with him being as tired as he is. I nearly break my ankle on the mess that is his floor, though. Seriously, the guys may have gone a bit overboard on toys. Which only makes me think again about not being prepared for the baby.

  Not yet feeling sleepy myself, I snag Jace’s computer out of his room and settle in behind Remy’s legs on the couch. A general search for “what babies need” pulls up several websites with checklists. Many of the lists are much the same, the only variance being if a hospital checklist is attached. I’m only somewhat satisfied with my find. It’s good to know that babies don’t need as many things as I first thought; it turns they sleep more than anything. But I’m not having a normal human baby. There’s no checklist for my baby, and that frustrates me.

  Sending several saved files to the printer, I click on a link for a baby registry. It’s like a fun game where you collect all the things you want and list them for other people to buy. I use it to mark several items I want to remember, along with a few themes that I think are awesome. I’ll have to ask the guys’ opinions, though. It would also be easier if we knew whether we’re having a boy or a girl. Almost all baby stuff is categorized by gender; including gender neutral, which translates into the boring stuff.

  Curiosity gets the better of me and I spend the next hour or so researching wolf pregnancies and births. Some of what I learn makes me nauseated. Like seriously, I’m not going to be eating any placenta or licking my baby once it comes from there. Other things, like the whole making a den thing, sounds like a good idea. I wonder if that translates into a nursery for the baby, but maybe not. I do like the idea of creating a space not just for the baby, but for all of us. I open Jace’s email and write down my thoughts, sending it to Logan. I figure I can ask either of them for it later.

  I must fall asleep mid-browse, because the next thing I know I’m awoken to the smell of bacon. My mouth watering, I open my eyes to see all of my mates gathered around the laptop I was using. By the time they figure out I’ve woken up, half the plate of bacon has disappeared into my stomach.

  “Hey!” Logan laughs, pointing at me. “That was for everyone.”

  I shrug. “You were neglecting it. I was giving it a proper home.” I pat my belly proudly.

  “It’s good to see your appetite has returned in the presence of Tristan,” Ash notes.

  I nod, shoving another crisp slice in my mouth. “His food is magic.”

  “Thanks, sweetie. You’re adorable with bacon grease all over your face, you know?” he tells me playfully, leaning in to lick at my lips. Well, hell. That shouldn’t be hot, but it so is.

  “How late did you stay up?” Kellan asks, frowning at me in disapproval.

  “Uh, well, Mikey and I made it all the way through most of the first Avengers movie. I put him to bed, then looked things up on the internet.”

  “We can see that. Interesting topics you were researching there, Kitten.” Jace smirks. “You know, we have a few females here who have given birth. You could ask them what it’s like to give birth to a pup,” he suggests.

  I nod, attempting to bat Logan’s hand away as he tries to steal my bacon. He’s too quick, though, and manages a handful that he shares with Reed. “I thought of that as well. I plan on asking them for advice. My grandfather, too.”

  “Speaking of him, he’s asked to take Mike and his friends to an arcade and ice cream shop in town. Would that be okay with you? I figured we could all ride together, and we’ll hit up a few shops and pick up things for the nursery. How does that sound?” Remy asks.

  I’m on my feet in a flash, already running to change out of my pajamas. “Oh, wait! The lists.” I turn back to the guys. “I printed lists,” I tell them.

  They laugh at my excitement. “We’ll bring your lists. Go get ready, crazy girl,” Logan tells me as he shoos me away.

  I stick my tongue out at him playfully before bouncing all the way to my room.

  Remy honks the horn as Maksim’s vehicle makes a turn, heading for the arcade, and our cars continue toward the shopping center in town. I wave to Mikey and the other kids as they pull away. They were over the moon about the trip out of the house. To be cautious, Ash sent a few of his best soldiers with them to keep watch. Quinn volunteered to supervise, but I think he just wanted to go play, too. I don’t blame him, as it does sound like fun.

  Although, my guys and I are going to have our own fun. Pulling into the parking garage of the sprawling shopping center, I barely wait until the car’s in park before shrugging out of my seatbelt. Reed holds me back from jumping out too soon.

  “Calm down, little lady. We have the whole day. No need to rush.” He chuckles, helping me out.

  We enter a very large store first. It has all kinds of things, not just baby stuff. I read the overhead signs, looking for directions to the right section. I recognize the name of the store and squeal excitedly. “Hey! I have a registry here. Did you bring the printout of the list?” I ask no one in particular.

  “Yes, yes, we know. That’s why we came here first. We brought your precious list,” Logan teases.

  “They had a really cool baby
cage on the website. It was round and had a veil thing on it. It was cooler than the rectangle ones,” I explain.

  Ash chuckles. “You really have to stop calling it a baby cage, baby. It just doesn’t sound right.”

  “Well, it cages a baby in, doesn’t it?” I ask.

  “Yes, but let’s call it a crib anyway,” he says uncomfortably.

  “Fine,” I sigh. “They had a really cool crib here.” I draw the word out, rolling my eyes.

  Ash picks me up by the hips from behind, making me yelp in surprise as he nips at my neck. “Don’t be difficult,” he jokes.

  I laugh with the rest of the guys as he carefully places me back on my feet. We find the right section; a few styles of cribs already put together line one wall, along with car seats, rocking chairs, and bouncy chairs. I’m disappointed that the one I liked is decorated differently here than the picture on the website. This one is made up in some children’s character, whereas the one online was done in pink and white checkers with ruffles and the veil hanging from the ceiling.

  “It doesn’t look the same,” I tell them, biting my lip as I circle around it. This one is also white, whereas the one I wanted was a dark wood.

  “This is just the one they put together so people can see what it looks like. Look over here.” Jace points out a stack of boxes showing a small picture of the crib in different finishes. “Which one did you like?”

  I point at the right one. “This one, but it’s all plain-looking.” I make a face at it.

  “Everything is sold separately, Kitten. We can put together any look you want. I’m sure they sell everything they advertised on the internet,” Logan explains.

  “Oh, okay. I liked the pink set,” I tell them, my eyes searching for where they keep the decorations.

  “You think we’re having a girl?” Remy asks, sounding slightly horrified.

  I shrug. “There’s a fifty-percent chance.”

  “Baby, I hope your heart isn’t set on having a girl. Females are still very rare in our world,” Ash says gently. Well, as gently as Ash’s deep voice allows.

  “So, no pink?” I hedge.

  “I don’t know how our son will feel about pink,” Remy says.

  “You never know, our baby might like pink no matter the gender,” I supply. I know I like pink. And he’ll be a baby, so he won’t care. I’m the one who has to look at all his stuff.

  “Maybe, but I was thinking we could look outside the gender box and go with something that would suit a boy or girl,” Reed chimes in.

  I make a face. “You mean that boring yellow or pea-green?”

  He laughs. “No. More like fire-engine red, or forest green. Orange is gender-neutral, in my opinion. Not that I ever thought genders could claim colors. If you’re dead-set on pink, I’m sure there’s a way we could make it masculine enough for a boy.”

  “I’m not set on anything really. I just liked the way the crib looked on the computer. I guess we could do dark green and gold, like the Ivaskov insignia? He’ll most likely be Alpha one day, after all. Or at least, that’s what everyone is hoping for,” I suggest.

  “What about green and silver? Those go together really well, too. We could do silver silk sheets, green bedding and trim, with a silver curtain in matching silk,” Logan states, eyes far away as he imagines it in his head.

  “Yeah, we could do a mural on one wall. A forest maybe. Put it on the side facing the window and let the light play over it. I could add in some metallic paint, make it sparkle like a true forest,” Reed adds.

  I smile, the mental picture becoming clear in my mind. “I like it.” I turn to the others, gauging their reactions. We all seem satisfied with this idea.

  “Did you guys see my email?” I ask.

  “I wasn’t aware you had an email address,” Finn says with a brow raised.

  I shake my head. “I sent it from Jace to Logan last night.”

  “Oh, yeah. I saw it. I thought it was from Jace and, honestly, it was just a jumble of thoughts,” Logan says sheepishly.

  “Well, I was thinking we could knock down a wall between two of the rooms. Like have an archway or something between them so that we can have an area for us in the nursery. Remember those big cushion things in the library at the old house? We could have some of those, maybe a low bookshelf where we put books we can read to him, and a few rocking chairs or a bed for napping with him? I don’t know, it was just a thought,” I explain. I guess it isn’t really thought out.

  “Like a den,” Kellan adds, getting it right off. “You did quite a bit of research on them last night. You want to make a den for all of us to spend time with the baby?”

  I bite my lip. “Yeah, kind of. There’s a lot of us, and we’re spread out a lot. I thought it might be nice to have a centralized area where the baby will be most of the time. Where we can all stop by and hang out whenever we have time. Does that make sense?”

  “It makes perfect sense, Kitten. It’s a lovely idea,” Logan says softly, coming to kiss my forehead. He steps back, looking around the store. “All right. Fuck this store, we’ll make everything custom. Let’s go look at clothes already,” he says, clapping his hands with a bright smile.

  “I’ll make the bed,” Ash tosses out. “Rem, you can help me with the plans. Kitten, how about we keep the circle crib idea, but we lower it so our pup can get in it himself when he’s in wolf form? We’ll keep part of it open with cushions under the opening, so he’ll never fall out.”

  I smile widely at him. “That sounds amazing. Can we still do the dark wood?” I point at the box with the finish I like.

  “We could.” Ash nods.

  “Do you like that, or this better?” Logan shoves his phone in front of me, showing me pictures of a pale, almost grey, wood.

  “Oooh, I like this. It would go really well with all the silver, right?” I ask.

  “I think so. I’d have to see it for myself. We’ll order samples and see which works best.”

  We leave the furniture area after picking out several car seats. We don’t get them, but Jace takes a picture of the ones we want to order online later. I don’t really have an opinion on those. Remy and Ash debate over which ones are safer, and we choose those ones. Logan swears he’ll fabricate custom cushions for those as well.

  I’m a little disappointed that we don’t get much to bring home, but knowing that the guys are going to take the time to make our baby everything with their own hands makes me love them more than I thought I could. We do, however, get lots of tiny little clothes, bottles, and a breast pump. We aren’t very clear if I have to stay in wolf form until the baby will be done with milk, or if I’ll be able to switch back and forth. I think the guys are hoping for the latter, so that they can take turns feeding it.

  We also collected an unreasonable number of blankets, towels, and tiny robes. Mostly because those were so cute and everyone had an opinion on which was softer, warmer, or best for wrapping a baby up in. From the large selection of them, I’ve learned that babies seem to like dangly things. So, we also got dangly things for over the bed, the car seats, the stroller, and some we can manually dangle above his head. By the time we finish shopping, I’m in desperate need for food and a nap. Who knew shopping could be so exhausting?

  Ash, Remy, Logan, and Reed split from the rest of us as we head home. They said they have a few more places to go before they meet us at the house. I cuddle up to Tristan on the way home. I know who feeds me. He whispers sweet nothings about macaroni and cheese and ham the whole way there. I don’t think he means for it to come across as seductive, but it sounds that way to me in my state of hunger.

  I sit on the counter, close to the cooking food, as I watch my sweetest mate move about the kitchen like he owns it. I suppose he does, but it never fails to turn me on watching him command the room. He really enjoys what he does, and it makes me happy to see it. I pull him to me as we wait for the ham to warm in the oven.

  Tristan leans back against the counter, between my thigh
s with his back to my chest. He’s still taller than me but I rest my cheek on his shoulder, my hands splayed over his chest. “I love you,” I say, just because I feel like saying it.

  He brings a hand up to rest over mine. “I’ll never get tired of hearing those words coming from your lips.” He turns his head to smile his perfect Tristan smile at me. God, this boy is beautiful.

  I urge him to turn to me, running my fingertips over his jawline as I stare into his chocolate eyes. He leans in, kissing my lips gently. His hands slide up and down the outside of my thighs, heating me up in more ways than one. I deepen the kiss, needing to taste him. To my delight, he groans. I love the sounds I evoke from all my mates.

  After a while, Tristan breaks the kiss to lean his head against mine. We stay that way until the oven beeps. With a smacking kiss to my nose, he moves to get the food ready to take upstairs. If he was anyone else, I’d knock the food from his hand and take him right here on the floor. Being that this is Tristan, I know he’ll make me wait until after I’ve eaten enough for four people. By the very Logan-like smirk on his face, I know he knows where my head is at.

  Reluctantly, I shake off the lust and follow him upstairs to eat on the balcony off his room. He watches my mouth as I eat and sip from the Champagne glass filled with sparkling cranberry juice. We talk about the day, about looking forward to the spring and the orchard coming to life, about missing each other when I was away, and about our time at the beach. Lunch one on one with Tristan is pleasant and relaxing, much like the man himself.

  When it’s clear that I couldn’t eat another bite if I tried Tristan stands, offering me his hand. Leading me back into his room he stops us beside the bed, leaning his tall frame down to gently suck at my lips. I grip his shirt, ready to tear it free, but he stops me.

  “Slower,” he pants. “I want to savor you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me, Tristan,” I respond.

  “I just… Let me love you, baby.” He gives me no time to respond, his lips covering mine, distracting me.