Loving My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  Kitten absolutely refuses to discuss being voted head of the council. She won’t talk about the council at all, in fact. In the weeks that followed the meeting, we’ve all taken our shot at getting her to open up about her feelings on the matter, but I think she’s content to pretend it never happened. To me, that says all there is to say about it. She never wanted to be princess to the Ivaskov pack, only somewhat comfortable being Luna, given that Remy remains Alpha and in charge. She doesn’t want to lead anyone, isn’t comfortable with it. I think it has to do with her being so young. I have no doubt that as she gets more years under her belt, she’ll come into herself and settle into the roles she was meant for.

  As it is, the other packs are not willing to give her that time. We’ve fielded their calls and letters, putting off any visits until she’s ready, but they’re getting pushy. They want her and, honestly, so do I. She’s the most incorruptible person I’ve ever met.

  Standing on the balcony in our bedroom, I watch Kitten and Mikey as they play hide and seek with the pups. I’m sure this is just a fun game to Kitten. Little does she know that she’s teaching the little ones to track by scent and, knowing her as I do, by the sound of her giggles.

  “How’s it going, brother?” Kellan claps me on the back before taking up a position similar to mine on the railing. His eyes immediately go the scene below, a grin overtaking his expression. “She’s teaching them to track?”

  “Something like that,” I respond with a smirk. “Any new discoveries with her blood?” I ask, assuming that’s where he’s been all day.

  He sighs deeply. “I wish. I don’t really want to let everyone know that Alpha Mikel’s only successful attempt at a cure lives in his only daughter. We’ve tested the women and the children from Australia, even some of the men from Kendrick’s old pack. None of their blood matches Kitten’s. She is the only one whose blood has the ability to reverse damage that’s already been done.”

  I nod, already knowing this. Some of the women were made more fertile due to a serum Mikel gave them, but their blood remains that of a changeable female. A lot of the children we saw at the camp were humans with human fathers, only a few the result of wolf pairings. While the children of those unions have blood similar to Kitten’s, they don’t share the qualities that allow her blood to reverse damage done by the virus. Theirs only protects them from the virus, such as a vaccine. No doubt, when they have children of their own they will be born susceptible to the virus again.

  “Not sure what our next move here is, brother.” Kellan sighs. “Kitten is the only known cure. We can’t pass out her blood to every woman and child from now until the end of time. We don’t know what makes her blood different, so we can’t extract what we need and replicate it.”

  “I know, it’s frustrating,” I agree with him. “If we tell her what we’ve found out, she’ll drain herself dry trying to help others. She already wants to market a drug with her blood to help the humans, seeing how it practically brought Mikey back to life.”

  Kellan smiles wide. “She came to you with that idea, too, huh?” I raise my brow at him, making him laugh. “What did you tell her?”

  “The truth. That it’s too dangerous. I did agree to accompany her to find specific humans that she wants to save, under the agreement that those humans would have to willingly join our pack and leave the human world.”

  Kellan whistles low. “Damn, that’s serious, Finn. How do you figure that will work?”

  I tilt my head in Kitten’s direction. “She’s always going to need to save people. It’s who she is. She can’t have without sharing. To her, there will always be people who are alone like she was, who went without like she did. She’ll always try to save the Kittens of the world. If she isn’t allowed to do so, she’ll fold in on herself and wither away. We’ll just have to make it possible for her to do that. If it means exposing ourselves to a few humans, then it’s worth it. I couldn’t just tell her no.”

  “Yeah, she’d find a way to do it anyway.” He chuckles.

  I smile, too; he’s right, she would. “This way, I’ll be with her. Besides, those humans will most likely worship her like the rest of us do. I don’t imagine they’d do anything that could cause harm to her.”

  “Maybe that’s how we go about handing out the cure, as well. Make it so that only bonded females can receive her blood. That would cut the numbers down until we figure out how to replicate what Mikel did,” my brother suggests.

  I shake my head at him, meeting his eyes briefly. “It’s not up to us. It’s up to her. Her first goal will be to protect all the female children. She’ll probably see that only handing out her blood to bonded females as a protection of sorts for them, so she might go for it. You know Kitten, though. She’s unpredictable, and will probably suggest something neither one of could think of.”

  He laughs again and I join in. “True. She’s never boring, I’ll give her that.”

  “So, when are we going to tell her what we’ve found?” I question.

  “I wanted to wait to drop this bomb until after she dealt with the last one that was dropped on her. I have to say, this isn’t really like her. She makes decisions quickly, usually trusting her first instinct and running with it,” he points out.

  I shake my head again. “This isn’t like that. She doesn’t want it, but she recognizes that others need her to want it. It just looks like she’s ignoring the situation. Her head is probably a warzone right now, stuck in a stalemate until she can work it out one way or another.”

  Kellen eyeballs me for a moment. “That’s some deep insight, Finn. Do you think she’s waiting on us to voice our opinions? Help her make the choice?”

  “I think that’s part of it. As far as I know not one of us has spoken for or against it, other than Logan,” I answer.

  “And the other part?” he prods.

  I look down at the pups, giving myself a minute to find the answer I want to give. Cyan, more often than not, is first to find his mama. He won’t seek her out alone, though. Always warning the others when he’s found her scent, waiting for them to catch up. Killian doesn’t even bother looking, just waits for Cyan’s call and trots along to find their giggling mother.

  She looks so happy. All smiles and girly little claps and squeals when the kids pounce on her in excitement. Her gorgeous green eyes shine with pride and love, even from here. She doesn’t care that her white jacket is getting muddy, that pieces of grass and leaves cling to her long hair, or that Jace is going to take her for another manicure, now that she’s ruined hers. Her heart is in the game and spending time with her children.

  “The other part doesn’t know if she’ll lose the one thing she’s always wanted. She wants them.” I point to the kids. “And us. Family. She has that right now, so she’s always going to be scared of losing it. Much like us. She has to figure out if she can be a mother and a mate, and still be what everyone else needs her to be.”

  Kellan snorts. “Of course, she can; she’s her.”

  “I agree. Everyone knows that but her. She doesn’t know how to believe in herself like she believes in others yet. She’s more than capable, but she sees this opportunity as a potential threat to her family. So far, backing out of the Ivaskov pack has always been an option for us. We could disappear, live out our lives as we please wherever we want to. If she starts down this road, she’ll be the most famous wolf in history. They’ll literally write books about her. There’s no backing out after that happens. She’s right to take her time thinking about this.”

  “What’s your opinion? Do you think she should take the position?” he asks, watching me from the corner of his eye. My brother only does that when he’s on the fence about something and willing to agree with me either way.

  I turn my head, meeting his eyes fully. “Yes. Only a handful of people get the opportunity to truly make a difference in this world. The position wasn’t offered to her, it was created for her by her own doing. She’s going to change the world, brother. I pla
n on being at her side when she does. Supporting her.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” Remington surprises me by answering, breaking my stare with Kellan. He joins us at the railing, leaning on his arms as he watches our mate and pups. He looks more content than I can ever remember seeing him in our long lives. “Face it, boys. That woman down there is destined for greatness. Our only job from here on out is safeguarding what matters to her most.”

  “And you’re okay with that?” Kellan asks him warily.

  Remington laughs, a real laugh that reaches his eyes. “I’m not sure I’d have it any other way. It’s not the quiet life we’ve always strived to achieve, sure. Life with her is sure to be eventful, even stressful and aggravating at times, but she gives me purpose. I’ve lived for a very long time without her, but I’ve never felt as alive as I have since meeting her. She’s hope, simply put. Besides you guys, I’d give up my entire past for just another week with her. I’ll be anything she needs me to be to keep that feeling. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t.” He smirks at my brother.

  Kellan smirks back. “I didn’t say that. I only worry that the more successful she is, the greater she becomes, the more her life is at risk. I don’t want to lose what we have right now. If this is as much as we ever have, I could die a happy man. It’s enough for me,” he explains his reluctance.

  Remington tosses an arm over Kellan’s shoulder, pulling him in close. “Those worries have entered my mind a time or two, also. While I know we will always be her greatest champions, we’re no longer her only ones. I’ve met a lot of people in my time, but the loyalty she inspires in others is unmatched. I don’t know what about her does that, but it doesn’t matter. It’s there, and our mate will never be short on people willing to lay down their lives for her.”

  The three of us fall silent as we watch our family play below us. Tristan eventually brings out some picnic baskets and a blanket, setting out lunch for Kitten and Mikey and handing out bottles of warm milk to the pups. We watch that, too. I’m certain that we could watch her forever.

  Kitten

  I take yet another deep breath. There’s no one left to speak to about this. The guys gave me the time I needed to figure this out on my own, and I love them so much for that. We were eventually able to talk about what this decision would mean for all of us, not just me. They spoke openly about their concerns and gave me their honest opinions, as always. Grandfather and Albert also added their opinions. I spoke with Mikey, and I spoke with Quinn. I also spoke to Vivian, and…okay, I spoke to anyone willing to speak to me.

  I’m just still not sure what my answer is. I don’t know what I’m going to say, even seconds before I’m supposed to make an announcement on live video chat or whatever it’s called. I’ll be lucky to even possess a bottom lip after all is said and done. I’ve nearly chewed the thing off.

  When the doors open in front of me, Jace popping his head out to tell me everyone is ready and waiting, I nearly jump out of my skin. With a last glance behind me at my pile of babies crawling all over the floor, their big brother attempting to herd them to stay in a group, I take a step into the conference room.

  I close the doors, keeping my back turned to the room, giving myself a moment to just breathe as I grip the handles. Another shaky inhale and deep exhale have me facing the room. My guys are lined up behind their chairs at the table, the wall of screens featuring the Alphas of other packs shining brightly, all attention aimed right at me.

  I walk to the end of the table, bracing myself on my hands to keep myself upright. I bow my head, closing my eyes and sending one last prayer to any entity that may be listening. When I raise my head, I look to each of my mates.

  Reed. With his love for me shining in his multicolored eyes, so much like our son’s, he lets me know he’ll always be here with me.

  Tristan. With chocolate eyes filled with dark secrets and a warm expression on his face, he silently tells me that I’ll forever have a partner through even the darkest times of my life.

  Logan. With his playful blue eyes and sinful lips, he tells me that I’ll never be bored, always on the brink of something fun. I only need ask.

  Jace. My golden boy. Hair perfectly in place, impeccably dressed as usual, he lends me his confidence and self-conviction. A pretty wrapping covering up a fair and loyal man to the end.

  Kellan. Grass-green eyes and hair as dark as night, my worrier and healer, always waiting to catch me if I should fall.

  Ash. Big and strong, he tells me with just one glance that he’ll always be in my corner, protecting me and having my back.

  Finn. With intelligence and faith that never fails me, Finn’s minty-green eyes let me know that there’s no problem in the world we can’t figure out together.

  Remy. My Alpha. My match in every possible way, standing tall with stoic grace, my copper-haired, steely-eyed leader calms me as his look tells me that I’ll never be alone again. He’ll be there, every step of the way, keeping our family together at all costs. My goals are his, his are mine.

  Prying my eyes away from my mates, I meet the stares of the Alphas on the screens. Soaking in all the confidence, strength, and support my guys are pushing at me, I bring myself up to my full height.

  “Okay. If I’m going to do this, then we’re going to do this my way.”

  The End

  Epilogue

  “Moooommmmm!” Ava screeches at the top of her lungs as Asher and Raider work together to toss her into the pool.

  “Why do you kids always call for me instead of your fathers?” I ask through my laughter, watching as Ava comes up spitting mad. Her seven-year-old face set in a scowl that could set fire to a forest.

  Changing tactics, her scowl turns into a wicked smirk toward Logan, who matches her look with a devilish one of his own. I don’t bother to cover my interest as I watch water droplets slide down his lean, bare chest and into his bright blue swim trunks. He sends me a wink, catching me watching him openly.

  “Mama! Mama! I founded a leaf wif all the colors. Seeeeeee!” Cyan chirps happily as a leaf gets shoved in my face so close that my eyes cross. Climbing in my lap, my blonde boy points out all the pretty colors that are present on his treasure. It is a pretty cool leaf, an oddity in the middle of summer.

  “Found. You found a leaf,” Finn corrects gently as he scoops Cyan out of my lap, tickling him. “That’s an awesome oak leaf you’ve got there. Let’s go show Daddy Reed.”

  “Yeah!” Cyan giggles, holding his prize away from himself as he squirms around from the tickling.

  A loud boom causes me to jump before my eyes swing to the kids’ playhouse. A plume of smoke drifts from the open windows, a coughing Killian leaning out of one of them.

  “Damn it, Killian! What did I tell you about blowing things up? What was it this time?” Remy shouts, cursing under his breath as he and Kellan head over to check out what happened.

  Kellan lifts the boy down from the window, moving his mop of dark hair out of the way to look into his green eyes. “I gave my robot a laser. You know, to make it cool and defeat the evil trolls. I forgot about the gas until it was too late,” he adds sheepishly with a grimace.

  “Why the bloody hell did you have gasoline in here?” Remy demands from inside the playhouse. Watching him squeeze through the tiny door is comedy at its finest.

  Killian shrugs a shoulder. “A ’speriment,” he replies, like it should be obvious.

  “Hey, buddy, we talked about this. You don’t do experiments on your own. No more lasers, and definitely nothing to do with gasoline. You got it?” Kellan tells him sternly with a disapproving look.

  “Fine,” Killian huffs.

  “Wait, trolls? My trolls?” Raider tunes into the conversation. His horrified glare at his brother lasts all of three seconds before he turns to me. “Moooommmm, Kill blew up my trolls!”

  I sigh. “Yes, I heard everything you just heard, Raider. I’m sure he didn’t mean to, and he’s going to be in trouble for causing an explosion anyway.�
��

  “Hey! I didn’t mean to blow them up. I meant to melt them with the laser!” Killian defends as Raider and Ashton attack him, grabbing him by the hands and feet and dragging him over to the pool.

  “We’ll get you some new, horrid-looking trolls,” Jace promises drolly as he adjusts his shades, lying on the lounger next to mine. With a glance in my direction, he adds, “You have your mother’s horrible taste in toys.”

  I glare playfully at my golden mate, not able to hold it long since he looks so delicious with all that bare skin. I have to agree with him about Raider’s taste in toys. Those troll things are downright creepy, made to look like the tales of old-type trolls with tusks, gruesome expressions, and boils on their faces. I swear Logan only got them for him to piss off Jace. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

  “Aren’t you too hot out here?” Reed asks as he comes up behind me, kissing me chastely before kissing the top of the baby’s head.

  I adjust our newest little guy as he feeds from me, bringing the blanket over his head more to shield him from the sun. “Tristan went to get me some tea. Thank you. Besides, I figured I’d jump into the pool for a while after this little guy and his sister were done eating.”

  Reed takes a seat at the foot of my lounger, grabbing the sunscreen and starting to work more of it into my legs. He looks to the lounger next to us, seeing Jace spread out on his back, hands behind his head and a blonde-haired baby with golden eyes and matching shades lounging on his bicep. The resemblance is uncanny. “Looks like she’s done already. Want me to finish feeding him?” he offers.

  “That’s okay. He’s almost done. Aren’t you, little Liam?” I coo at my little guy with his shock of light brown hair. He smiles up at me with his one green eye and one bright blue rimmed in dark lashes. Logan was right, we do make beautiful babies.

  Tristan finally returns with my much-needed iced tea, our three-year-old little girl clinging happily to his side. Her chubby little legs kick as she squirms to be let down. Toddling her way over to me, she offers me a sip of her juice box. “Hi there, cuteness. I see you talked Daddy Tristan into yet another juicy.”