Love on Mimosa Lane (A Seasons of the Heart Novel)

by Anna DeStefano

  Law’s urge to punch something evaporated. Dan was talking about the Chandler shooting. Sally had been in the line of fire. She’d been in the cafeteria that day when everything went down. Even though she hadn’t been injured, Law knew exactly how terrified Dan must have been for his child. Law had felt the same about Chloe, until he’d been certain she was safe.

  “I’m sorry about that, but...” Something else his brother said registered. “What do you mean, you didn’t have Mom and Dad?”

  “They’ve been out of my life since Dad let you go to prison, instead of helping you—because you still wouldn’t agree to kiss his ass and live your life his way. That was it for me, too, Law. The only time I’ve spoken with them since, the shooting had made national headlines and Dad called to criticize me, not to ask about Sally. Why wasn’t I after the school and the county and Troy Wilmington’s parents for everything they’re worth? I hung up on him telling me I was a waste of a lawyer for caring more about my daughter and family than I did about making a name for myself in the legal community, grandstanding in court while I had national media coverage. So don’t stand there and act like they haven’t judged me just as much they have you.”

  “Maybe you’re the one I didn’t want judging me!” Law threw back unfairly, but it was all too much to take in. “Did you ever think of that? Maybe I didn’t want my perfect brother knowing any more about my crap life than he already did. Mom and Dad weren’t the only ones pushing me to straighten up when we were in college. Maybe I didn’t want you to have been right about how screwed up I was, getting myself into this situation. And I sure as hell didn’t want to give you the chance to lord it over me. Or to be the one to say you told me so, when I finally admitted that I couldn’t make my own family work!”

  All this time he’d walled himself away, Law had still cared about his brother. It had been Dan’s approval he’d still longed for, not their parents’. It was Dan he’d worried about disappointing, while Law’s life continued to fall apart in Chandlerville.

  Now his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. Dan’s were clenched at his waist. They were practically nose-to-nose, eager to fight. Because wouldn’t that make everything better?

  “That’s just great,” Dan said. “I tell you our parents have moved on from their favorite pastime of making you miserable, to blaming me for not making the most professionally out of my daughter almost getting shot earlier this year. I tell you you’re not the only one hurting. It took Sally months before she felt safe enough to go back to school. Did you know that? We had to get her into therapy just so she’d be ready to start middle school, instead of begging us to homeschool her. Charlotte and I nearly split up once or twice from the stress of watching our little girl suffer and not being able to do a damn thing to help her. But does that make a dent with you? Of course not. All you’ve got to say to me is that you’ve ignored me so I wouldn’t keep giving you a raw deal? Not a phone call, Law. Not a visit. Not even a note to say you were glad Sally was alive…When are you going to realize that all of this isn’t just happening to you?!”

  Law froze, the fight in him drying up. Dan was making him sound like…Libby.

  He finally heard, really heard his brother. More than that, he was feeling the emotions right along with Dan—the helplessness and fury, and the kind of hopelessness no parent should feel. It was the same depth of fear that Law had been enduring all this time, as Chloe slipped farther and farther away from him. His own confusion and panic were standing in front of him now, reflecting back from his brother’s blue eyes.

  “Dan…” He started to say. Then he didn’t know what to say.

  “Hell, man,” Dan said. “Chloe was in the school that day. You had to have been just as terrified. Did you even think about Sally or me or Charlotte? Did you even give us a moment’s consideration?” Dan’s voice broke, making Law’s gut clench. “I could have used my brother. I could have used someone who understood how much my family means to me, after the nothing our parents gave us to live with growing up.”

  Law had thought about Sally. He’d made sure she was okay. He’d kept asking people like Julia and Walter and Rick about her, people he knew weren’t likely to say anything to Dan about his asking. He’d kept his distance, figuring the last thing his brother needed in a crisis was Law barging back into his life.

  It was the last thing Law had thought he’d needed.

  “I was…” The words he’d never said came to him then, because they felt absolutely vital to get out—for both him and his brother. “I was drowning. I guess I still am. And I guess that made me about the worst brother I possibly could have been to you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry, Dan. I’ve been a total prick to you, and you’re right. You don’t deserve it.”

  “Well…” Dan ran a hand across the back of his neck. The gesture was so familiar, it tugged at something inside Law, a memory of seeing his brother doing that when they were kids and their dad had been on their cases, which even then had been pretty often. “Just so we’re clear, I never sided with Mom and Dad against you. Ever. I’ve always been here for you, even when you didn’t want me to be. Especially when you didn’t want me to be. And I’m not going anywhere now. If you are ever drowning again, if you can let yourself need a lifeboat, you know where to find me.”

  Law watched Dan head to his big-money car, throw himself inside, slam the door, and peel out of the driveway.

  Their parents had treated Dan like the golden boy. At least, Law had let himself think so. He’d even let himself get angry a time or two since January—while he was dealing with the worst of his divorce—imagining his parents swooping in after the Chandler shooting to coddle his older brother through his crisis. As status-obsessed as Libby had become, she’d been going on and on about Dan and Charlotte’s perfect life in their perfect Mimosa Lane house with their perfect daughter. All of it making Law feel like even more of a screw-up by comparison. So he’d tuned out Dan and his crisis…

  He climbed into his truck and stared at the house he’d lost. He let the last ten years wash over him. The life he’d wasted chilled him to the bone, like the November wind swirling outside.

  Had Dan really wanted to help from the start? Law’s mind scrambled backward, to early memories from his boyhood with the brother he’d given up, the way he’d given up so much else so he could be free. Only he didn’t feel free now, any more than he’d yet to feel free of Libby. Until tonight—when he’d had Kristen close and understanding him and wanting to understand more.

  He started his truck, slammed the transmission into gear, and checked in his rearview for the traffic he knew wouldn’t be there this time of night. He floored it out of the driveway the same as Dan had. Damn it! It was all circling too close, like the leaves kicking up in his rearview mirror as he drove away. He couldn’t tune out thoughts of Dan and Libby and Chloe and Fin and Kristen.

  Kristen…

  If you ever need to talk with someone who has just as hard a time trusting her feelings as you do yours…give me a call.

  If you are ever drowning again…

  He laughed.

  He had people tripping all over themselves today wanting to help him. And that was the reality, not Libby’s tantrum, that had his fingers itching again to curl around a whiskey bottle, so he could drink so deeply he stopped wanting to talk with anyone.

  Cursing, he pulled over to the side of the road and stared through the windshield into the starless night, as if the darkness beyond held more answers than the turmoil inside him.

  Chloe had heard everything her mom and dad said. She always heard. Her parents fought more every day, no matter how much her dad tried not to.

  It was like her mom wanted them to keep arguing. Chloe sometimes still thought about her parents getting back together, even though she knew it wasn’t going to happen. But at least that would have meant things going back to normal. Most of the time now, she w
ished her mom and dad would never talk again.

  And all her mom seemed to want anymore was to never let Dad go. Otherwise, why would Mom care if Dad talked with Ms. Hemmings? But Chloe knew what her mom had really cared about tonight was everyone at Pockets seeing her argue with Dad. That was all Mom ever wanted now: everyone looking at her and talking about her and siding with her against Dad. Mom would do just about anything to have that, and she was scary when she didn’t think she was getting it.

  Was she trying to totally destroy everything?

  As much as Chloe had been mad at her dad for starting her friends talking about her at school yesterday, he’d at least tried to make things up to her, taking her to the party tonight. He was a good dad. She didn’t really care about what had happened before she was born, or if he did boneheaded things like at school yesterday with Fin, or talking with Ms. Hemmings tonight, even if it was totally embarrassing to Chloe.

  But Chloe’s mom…

  Most days Chloe could ignore the worst parts of being in her family. Most days she’d do almost anything to ignore it. She’d do whatever her mom wanted her to, if it meant Mom wouldn’t do things like she’d done tonight. When her mom totally lost it like that, especially in public, Chloe hurt so much she wanted to be part of someone else’s family, anyone’s family but her own, or maybe part of no family at all.

  She wished she could tell someone how she felt. But who? She didn’t even know what she’d say. Did she say that her mom drank? A lot? And that no one but Chloe had known for a long time before tonight?

  It had been getting worse for months, since the divorce had gotten so bad, and Chloe hadn’t told anyone. She hadn’t wanted her dad to know. Mom had been making people think her dad was the one drinking again, after Mom had made sure the divorce judge and a lot of other people knew why Dad had gone to prison. Only now Dad knew—Chloe had heard him say it tonight—that Mom was really the one who’d been messing up big-time.

  So what now?

  Dad had told her mom to stop drinking, or else. He hardly ever said or else. When he did say it, he’d always meant it, and he didn’t even know how bad it really was.

  Chloe didn’t know if her mom could stop drinking. Mom had probably been drunk the last two nights, when she’d kept calling Dad over and over while Chloe was with him, saying mean things and crying. She had been drinking a lot today, or she wouldn’t have done what she did in front of everyone at Pockets. She was probably drinking now, even though Dad had just told her to stop.

  What if she never stopped?

  It made Chloe scared, thinking about that on the nights she wasn’t staying with her dad and her mom was really bad and passed out on the couch or in her bed, and all of Chloe’s friends were asleep, and no one was up texting or chatting online anymore. She couldn’t stand it sometimes. When her mom was totally out of it, Chloe stayed up all night watching TV, to keep herself from calling her dad to come get her.

  Because then her family, what was left of her life, would be over for sure.

  But sometimes even TV wasn’t enough to keep her quiet. Keeping her mom’s secret was too hard some nights, like tonight, when Chloe couldn’t think about anything but the bad things that would happen if her dad knew more—after all the bad things that had already happened this year.

  Everyone in town was already looking at her and her family like they were nuts—especially her friends, especially tonight. Brooke and Summer had spent the rest of the night at Pockets talking about Chloe and her parents with all the other kids. Laughing about Chloe again, after she’d finally gotten them to let up at school. After Chloe had been mean to Fin to make things better for herself, even though she’d kinda wanted to be nice to him.

  Now things were even worse.

  Her mom had to knock it off. Her family had to stop being the town joke. Somehow, Chloe had to make sure that happened.

  But not tonight. All Chloe wanted to do right now was forget everything.

  She listened at her door. She didn’t hear her mom moving around anymore. She grabbed her jacket and opened her window and scooted through it, into the perfect, quiet night that would help her stop thinking about anything, especially her family, for just a little while.

  “That poor child,” Kristen said to Mallory over the phone.

  Mallory and Pete and Polly had stayed home tonight. Mallory hadn’t been feeling well. And even though Pete and his daughter would have had a blast at Pockets, and Mallory had wanted them to go, she’d had no luck trying to talk them into leaving her.

  The honest, loving way the Lombards stuck together and supported one another, no matter the obstacle, left Kristen a little envious sometimes. It would have been too perfect to believe, if she hadn’t witnessed for herself just how real their bond was.

  “Julia said it was quite a scene,” her friend agreed. “She and Walter tried to keep everyone distracted. But it sounds like half the party, including Chloe, watched Libby go for Law’s jugular before he dragged her outside.”

  “Someone has to do something to help Chloe.” Kristen’s heart was breaking for what the eight-year-old and her friends had heard and seen.

  “Just Chloe?”

  “And Law. He’s clean and sober, and he’s being the best father he can be. Libby’s the one who’s out of control. Everyone should be figuring that out right about now.” Kristen closed her eyes. “Not that it’s any of my business…”

  Mallory chuckled. “Sounds like after tonight maybe it could become a little more of your business, if you wanted it to.”

  “I…” If Kristen wanted it to?

  “Julia said you and Law had a bit of a moment near the café before Libby showed up. I guess that means you’ve made up your mind how you feel about him.”

  “And didn’t that work out so well.”

  “And after you followed him and Libby out of Pockets, Julia heard you defended Law, like—”

  “Like I couldn’t stay out of his personal business? Which is only making things worse for him with his ex, right?”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “No. I don’t.” And Kristen didn’t know how Law felt about any of it.

  Or did she? He’d let her walk away. He’d let her go tonight, after she’d said she’d always be on his side. As feelings went, Law’s about her, about them, seemed pretty clear at the moment.

  “What are you going to do?” Mallory asked.

  “I…” She was going to wait and see if a man who seemed to understand her so effortlessly could trust her to do the same for him. “I told him he has my support and admiration for how he’s trying to care for Chloe.”

  “Admiration?”

  “I thanked him for stepping in and at least wanting to be there for Fin.” Kristen checked the clock on her stove and winced when she realized it was after nine. “Though as far as I know, no one’s seen Fin since lunchtime at school. So much for my plan there.”

  “You thanked him.”

  “I encouraged Law not to let Libby’s outburst make him doubt himself.”

  “You encouraged him?”

  Kristen was going to hyperventilate if Mallory didn’t stop repeating her rationalizations back to her.

  “I said he could call me if he ever wanted to talk, okay? Does that make you happy?”

  Mallory didn’t chuckle this time. She didn’t push again. Her silence fell over Kristen like a soft, understanding hug. And then she said, “I’m not happy that you’re doubting yourself about offering to help a man who clearly thinks as much of you as you do of him—maybe more, given Julia’s description of how Law was looking at you tonight before Libby interrupted. But I think it’s hopeful that you’ve reached out to him, without something like Fin’s and the Dixons’ situation for camouflage. You’ve left things open, Kristen, and I’m glad. That had to be hard.”

  “Don’t you think you’re exagge
rating? We’ve barely even held hands.” Except Kristen’s fingers still tingled from his kiss.

  “Sometimes that’s all it takes. With Pete and me, it was coming together to help Polly. It was seeing each other at our most vulnerable. It was not hiding anything, none of the worst things we hid from everyone else. For some reason, we couldn’t do that with each other. That’s how we fell in love, long before we’d touched each other physically.”

  Kristen’s chest hurt, hearing her friend talk about helplessly trusting someone. For so long, Mallory had given up on being able to take that kind of risk. Longer maybe than even Kristen had.

  “I’m not sure I know how to love like that,” Kristen admitted. “I’m not sure—”

  Her phone beeped.

  “Hold on,” she said. “I hope this is Marsha with news about Fin.” She glanced down at her call-waiting display. She read the number, and her heart stopped. She pressed a hand to her mouth. “Oh, no.”

  “What?

  “It’s him.”

  “Fin?”

  “No.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Law.” Seeing his name on her phone was so…wrong. Because it felt too right, having him call her so soon after she’d told him he could. “I have to go.”

  She didn’t wait for Mallory’s response before clicking over to the incoming call. But then all she could do was stare down at the portable handset.

  “Kristen?” The faint sound of his voice blew away her ability to do anything but lift the phone to her ear.

  “I’m here,” she said.

  “I…” He didn’t sound steady, either. “I’m not sure why I called.”

  “Is Chloe okay?” She hoped it wasn’t bad news.

  “I don’t know…” He sighed. “I think so. But I need…I don’t know what I need.”

  Kristen heard Mallory’s rueful chuckle escape her own throat. “Well, then, you’re in good company. Neither do I.”