by Lynda Chance
“Fine. Goodbye Josh. I’ll see you around sometime.” Hannah slammed the door and walked into the house.
****
Hannah didn’t get any sleep at all, and the next morning any bravado she’d had the night before had dried up and she was silently panicking. She rushed through her shower, hoping it would make her feel better, but it was hopeless.
Hannah walked into the kitchen and found her mother and proceeded to unload on her. What were mothers for if you couldn’t use them for a sounding board? Like a good mother, she’d listened and commiserated, but Hannah could tell by her mom’s reaction that she felt Hannah’s pain but that she also understood Josh’s viewpoint.
“You have to remember about my past, baby. I was almost in Josh’s exact same predicament. I came to town empty-handed, and I know the townspeople gossiped about me. It was a long, long time before I was accepted as one of them. What Josh has just found out has to be upsetting to him. I’m afraid he’s right, you’re going to have to give him some time.”
While Hannah appreciated the fact that her mother understood and liked Josh, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear at the moment. All she wanted was for someone to tell her that Josh was acting like an ass and that he’d come to his senses and get over it. Even though Hannah had been scared to tell him about the money, she truly hadn’t believed in her heart that he would react with such hostility.
She’d never expected that they’d break up over it.
She finished letting her mother have her say and then Hannah got in her car and drove to town.
She needed Ava. What she really needed was Josh, but Ava was the next best thing.
The house looked deserted as Hannah knocked on the door. “Where are your parents?”
Ava opened the door and let Hannah in as she answered, “They told me they were going shopping in Dallas. I swear to God, I think they’re lying, though. I think they went to scope out one of those unwed mother places. You know, the ones where girls go during the last months of their pregnancies so the world doesn’t know the shame that’s been cast on their families? Can you believe that shit? Can you believe in the twenty-first century that those places still exist?”
“No, I had no idea.”
“Oh, it’s true. Not that I think my parents will be able to afford it.”
As Ava moved to the kitchen to get them a couple of bottled waters, Hannah abruptly realized that her problems were nil compared to Ava’s. Hannah needed to talk, she really did, but Ava was on a roll and how could she interrupt her with her own problems that seemed petty in comparison?
“So I think they’ve got it in their heads that they’ll find a nice middle-aged couple who can’t have their own kid, and they’ll arrange for them to pay for my keep in exchange for my baby.” Ava’s voice broke on the last word and Hannah’s heartstrings were pulled. “Archaic, isn’t it?”
“Do they really think you’re going to agree to that?”
“Jesus. I don’t know what they think, but they’re certifiably insane if they think I’m giving my baby away.” Ava shook her head and twin tears rolled down her cheeks. “I miss Ethan so much, you know? I almost died all over again when he had to go back after the Thanksgiving holidays. I need him here.”
Hannah frowned with agreement. “He should be here.”
“No, he can’t. He has to be where he’s at if he ever wants to earn a decent living. I know that … it’s just so hard. The separation, I mean.”
Hannah’s cell began ringing. “Yeah, I know,” she answered, somewhat distractedly as she pulled her phone from her pocket. She looked down and Josh’s name sent her on a wild emotional roller coaster. At the same moment, Ty came in from the backdoor and glanced around, obviously seeing his sister’s tears and probably the concern on Hannah’s face as well. Her phone continued to ring and Hannah answered it as she gave Ty a distracted smile. “Hey.” Hannah said into the phone, managing to keep her tone neutral.
Josh’s voice came blasting out at her at once. “Did you tell your mother that we broke up?”
“How did you know that?” Hannah had only told her mother thirty minutes before.
“Word gets around. It’s a small town. Answer the question. Did you tell her?”
“Yes.”
“What the fuck for?”
Hannah didn’t care for his tone and it immediately put her back up. She could tell her mom any damn thing she wanted to. “It’s fairly simple, Josh. We broke up and I needed someone to talk to.” As she said the words, Hannah felt both Ava and Ty’s eyes snap towards her and remain glued on her. Damn. She hadn’t wanted them to find out like that.
The silence after her statement only lasted a second and then Hannah had both Josh and Ty demanding her attention at the same time.
“Bullshit. You need to quit telling everybody everything. Your mother saw my aunt in town and told her already. The last thing I fucking need right now is for this to get around and for everyone to think that you’re fair fucking game.” Josh snarled.
“You broke up with Josh?” Ty’s voice boomed across the small kitchen.
“Was that Ty?” Josh asked. “Oh, goddamn. You better not tell Ty that we broke-up, Hannah.”
“What did he do to you? Why would you break-up with him?” Ty asked as he took a few steps closer to Hannah.
Hannah’s throat closed up and she couldn’t form an answer of any kind. She looked at Ava who stood completely still as she absorbed the situation. Hannah abruptly realized that her own cheeks were wet with silent tears. As she trembled from cold shock, she held the phone slightly away from her ear as Josh’s voice continued to boom, “Answer me. Are you at the Andersons? Tell Ty that I said he better keep the fuck away!”
Everyone in the room heard Josh’s exclamation. Ty prowled up next to her and removed the cell phone from her numb fingers and put it to his ear. “She’s crying, fuckwad. Whatever you did to her, you made her cry. I don’t like to see her cry, Turner. You fucked up this time.”
Ty ended the call and then turned the cell phone off altogether and tossed it on the kitchen counter. Through tears that were flowing heavily now, Hannah felt him pull her into his arms and wrap her in his embrace. She stood completely still as his masculine warmth enveloped her. He was tall, like Josh, and with her head against his chest, Hannah saw Ava silently leave the room.
Hannah didn’t understand why Ava had left when it was her presence that Hannah needed and not Ty’s, but for the moment, she tried to breathe evenly and get the tears under control. Ty’s hands were strong and soothing, and Hannah was only mildly surprised to feel his soft kiss on the top of her head. It felt brotherly, even paternal, and she was glad she had him for a friend. But when he lifted her chin and his eyes tangled with hers, the look on his face was anything but platonic.
Ty was good-looking, he always had been, and the unfamiliar occurrence, added to her upset over Josh, was numbing Hannah somewhat to what was really happening. Her reactions were slower than normal; she felt almost lethargic. She was vaguely aware that she was in a sticky situation and needed to move back. But just as the thought dawned on her, Ty’s fingers spread across her cheekbone and speared into her hair, and she was mildly shocked to realize that he looked as if he wanted to kiss her.
Her hand found traction against his chest, and she began to push away from him. Her pulse raced a bit, but somewhere in the back of her mind, Hannah understood that it was only because she wanted to get away from him. Having his arms around her certainly didn’t make her heart race like it did when Josh held her.
Her thoughts went to Josh again and sadness encompassed her entire being and the feeling of lethargy dragged her down. Nobody would ever make her feel what Josh made her feel. Why had he hurt her last night?
She stared up at Ty, the experience of being in the circle of someone else’s arms disconcerting her. But she couldn’t give him her attention and held herself at arm’s length. His words when he spoke sounded almost tortured and she
hated the hurt in his voice. “I’ve been waiting for almost a year for you to break up with him.”
She grimaced at his blunt announcement. “Ty, no.”
“He’s one of my best friends, but you don’t realize how special you are, Hannah.”
She shook her head in denial at his words.
“Yeah, you are. I was going to make a move on you, you know? And then he took a chance with you and I was screwed.”
“Ty … I think maybe Josh and I … I think we’ve just had a fight, that’s all.”
“Nah. Y’all broke up. I heard you say it.”
She began to pull away in earnest. “I better go.”
“Have you ever kissed anyone but him, Hannah?”
She was caught off guard and froze under his touch for only a second before she began pulling away again.
“Have you?”
“No, but I don’t want—”
“He’ll get you back, I know that. Shit, he deserves you. I love him like the brother I never had. Josh and Ethan. Both of ‘em. Whatever he did to you to make you cry … he’ll apologize for it, and then y’all will get back together and live happily ever after. I know that. It’s that way between y’all. The fucker is crazy about you and I know you feel the same way about him.” His eyes searched hers as she held herself at arms’ distance as he continued, “But then I’ll never know what it’s like to hold you. And that’s going to suck for me.”
Hannah pushed against him again, trying to break away without hurting his feelings; his eyes were tormented and she felt his pain. “Ty—”
His hands moved to cradle her head and his eyes swallowed her whole and Hannah was hit with a feeling of guilt when she realized that Ty had deeper feelings for her than she’d known about, feelings that she could never return.
He took in a deep breath. “Shit. I’m about to break the bro-code.” Hannah stiffened but it was too late.
His head fell to hers and he put his lips on hers. She froze with disbelief, but then a sudden vision of Josh holding another girl hit Hannah and she knew that whatever fight they had had, she couldn’t let this happen. Her arms came between them to hold Ty away, and she began pushing with all her might. She broke away from him and she stumbled backward, staring at him and shaking her head. She wasn’t repulsed exactly, but she was aware that what she was feeling was … nothing. No, that wasn’t true. She was feeling guilt, because his lips should never have touched hers. Not even for the single second that they did.
They stared at each other from the small distance between them. “You shouldn’t have done that. You said yourself that he’s like a brother to you.” She saw a blush of crimson highlighting his cheekbones at her comment, and she knew that her face reflected a pink blush as well.
Hannah heard the back door slamming and immediate footsteps.
She knew before she turned her head that Josh would be in the room, and her emotions were conflicted. She felt bad for Ty, and she didn’t want him to be hurt, but her overriding emotions were still those of anger and hurt toward Josh.
Hannah slowly turned her head to face the dark specter of Josh Turner, breathing heavily in the doorway and taking in the situation with a single glance. His eyes looked dead, and his face had blanched of all color. He glanced at Ty with a killing expression, and then his eyes landed on her again and she felt impaled by their heat. He sucked in a ragged breath. “You let him kiss you?”
How had he known that? Was it on her face? And no, she hadn’t let him kiss her, not the way that Josh was thinking. Hannah flinched at the question and Ty cleared his throat and tried to speak. “Josh—”
“Shut the fuck up. I’ll deal with you later.” He whipped his head back to Hannah. “Did you? Did you, Hannah? You stood there and let him put his hands all over you? Did he put his tongue in your mouth?”
Josh’s rage was palpable and Hannah realized that if they’d been fighting before, they’d just upped the ante.
Ty tried again. “It was my fault—”
Josh blasted Ty with a look of hatred. “Yeah… and I’m going to beat you to a bloody pulp in about thirty seconds. But for now, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
In the silence after Josh’s outburst, Ava walked into the room and gently cleared her throat. She held her cell phone out to Hannah and tried to get her to take it. “Hannah. It’s your mom. You need to take this.”
“Not… not now. Tell her I’ll call her back.” Hannah couldn’t drag her gaze from Josh’s tortured expression.
“No, hon. She needs you. You need to take this,” Ava urged gently, wrapping her hand around Hannah’s and pulling her from the room and away from Josh and Ty.
As Hannah left the kitchen and put the phone to her ear, she heard a sickening thump and barely registered the moan that sounded as if it came from Ty’s lips. She knew in that instant that Josh had hit his friend and her anger escalated.
God, her day was sucking. “Hey, Mom.”
“Are you okay, baby?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I guess.” Hannah looked at Ava. “Just crying on Ava’s shoulder.” No, she absolutely wasn’t fine but she couldn’t tell her mother that.
“Listen baby, can you come home?” Her mother’s voice broke on the question and Hannah jerked to attention.
“What’s wrong?”
Hannah heard her mother take a ragged breath. “Grandma died this morning. The hospital just called.” Her mom choked again. “Your dad is in Dallas with Zach and I—”
“I’ll be right there.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I should be strong, I know. But she’s my mother and I … I need my baby.”
Tears flooded Hannah’s eyes, both from her mother’s pain and the agonizing loss of the grandmother she’d loved so much. “I’ll be there in a bit. I’m leaving Ava’s now.”
“Be safe, okay?”
“Yeah.”
“We need to pack … and I can’t think straight. We’re going to catch a flight tonight to Shreveport.”
“Okay, I’m leaving now.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“It was in the other room. I’ve got it if you need me, but I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks, baby.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetie.”
Hannah handed the phone back to Ava and turned around and ran straight into Josh. His hands landed on her shoulders and Hannah saw lines of strain around his mouth. “What happened?”
Hannah glanced away from his fierce gaze and saw Ty leaning against the doorframe, his mouth bleeding and his eye cut and already swollen. Fury rose within her at the damage that Josh had inflicted on his friend. “I didn’t kiss him.” She gave him the answer to the question he’d asked earlier.
She attempted to pull away but his hands tightened their grip. He ignored her denial and asked again, “What happened, Hannah?”
“My grandmother died this morning,” she answered, pulling away from him and this time succeeding.
Ava came up behind her and turned her and hugged her. “I’m sorry.”
Hannah accepted the hug. “Yeah. She’s been in pain for a long time, so I guess it’s for the best.”
“But it doesn’t feel like it, does it?” Ava commiserated.
“No, it hurts,” Hannah said as she grabbed her phone from the counter. “I gotta go. We’re leaving for Shreveport tonight. I’ll see you in a few days.”
“I’ll take you home,” Josh said.
Hannah flinched away from him. “No, I’m good.”
“You don’t need to be driving, you’re too upset.”
Hannah slowly turned and faced him while Ava and Ty looked on. “I can handle it. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Hannah—”
She cut him off. “Why don’t you worry about your friend? Somebody just beat the crap out of him for no good reason.”
Hannah watched as Josh looked over at Ty and the mess that was his face. He grimaced
and then looked back at her.
“I’ll be back in a few days. I’m sure all this shit will still be here when I get back.
Hannah turned and left the room.
****
After Hannah left the room, Josh saw Ava take in her brother’s bloody face. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Why don’t you give us a minute?”
Her face reflected the strain she was feeling as she looked between Ty and Josh. “Are you sure?” she asked her brother.
“Yeah.”
Ava left the room on silent feet and Josh stared at Ty, knowing that he should feel guilty for the damage he’d inflicted, but only feeling a sense of betrayal mixed with the rage that still flowed through his bloodstream. He didn’t say anything because his fists had already spoken eloquently enough.
Ty put his hand to his mouth and moved his jaw, testing it. “I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit,” Josh hissed.
“I shouldn’t have done it.”
“No shit, asshole.”
“Y’all broke up.”
“We had a fight, that’s it. And even if we had broken up, you crossed the fucking line and you know it.”
Ty hung his head. “Yeah, I know it.”
“What the fuck, man? Why would you do that to me?” Underneath the fury, Josh was feeling the betrayal like a knife piercing into an already open wound.
“I just lost it. You know I care for her. I—”
“You have feelings for Hannah?” If anything, the conversation was pissing Josh off even more.
“Not so much feelings, I just—” His words trailed off.
“Just what? You just want to fuck her? You want to fuck my girlfriend, Ty?” Josh felt his abs tighten in advance of a physical fight. He felt a pounding in his head as his hands fisted at his sides.
“That’s not it. I don’t see Hannah the same way as I look at other girls.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why are you thinking about her at all?”
“Jesus, Josh. She’s perfect. Do you know how fucking lucky you are? She’s soft and feminine and sweet—”
Josh took a threatening step forward. “I’m going to kill you, motherfucker.”